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Post by The Lach is very tired on Oct 11, 2005 5:28:56 GMT -5
www.spazwrestling.comNEWS Hey there Spazphiles, sorry I have been AWOL recently. I have been sick, but I am back to 100% now & ready to kick some ass! Eddie Omega made our rivalry personal recently & rest assured I plan on teaching him a lesson. He will feel the Shockwave! Make sure you all get my new Believe The Hype!! T-Shirt. I hope to see you all at the EWT Arena soon. Spaz
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Post by scbg on Oct 12, 2005 16:10:13 GMT -5
www.ewtshopzone.comThe tag team of Raskall and Trunk have only been around for a short time, but they've already begun to make waves in EWT. EWT Shopzone has already released a new T-shirt based on Rick Raskall's tattoo that appears on his left shoulder. This high-flying newcomer is surely full of himself, but there's no doubt he's going places in EWT.
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Post by viscera on Oct 12, 2005 16:44:00 GMT -5
Principal Pain gives a in depth look at his past in A.S.S. and more with " Wrestling Isn't Fake Magazine "Columnist Ivan Gaye
Ivan: It was nice of you to come by Mr Pain.
Pain: That's only my EWT name... my real name is...
Ivan: I'd rather not know. Now then, i'm to understand you were voted the number one prospect for A.S.S. isn't that right?
Pain: Exactly. Back then, I went by the name of Professor Pain... I held the A.S.S. Tag Team Championships with my partner Tutor Tyrese.
Ivan: And where is this Tyrese now?
Pain: Sadly they had to do some Budget cuts and Tyrese was released from A.S.S. I beleive he's wrestling somewhere in Wisconsin now.
Ivan: And what about Canceler? Did you team with him back in A.S.S. as well?
Pain: Well actually no. We were both brought up at the same time. EWT Creative thought we would be perfect for a stable.
Ivan: And he wanted an education themed stable?
Pain: Actually, Vance Resso wanted us to be... " Wrestling Furries " Thankfully, I changed his mind.
Ivan: And what about Secretary Saucy
Pain: She was actually another of A.S.S.'s students. But she lacked ring ability. So they made her our... valet of sorts.
Ivan: And do you have a thing for her?
Pain: Of course not. Though I do have my eye on someone in the EWT
Ivan: And who is that?
Pain: I won't say.
Ivan: I see. How was working with Tim Allen?
Pain: Oh he was great. I've never met a nicer man. And his willingness to take such a huge bump at Crapmania 2.
Ivan: What about Paul Podanski?
Pain: Ugh... well, he isn't exactly the greatest guy in the world, but we got along fine. I remember he would always go to Gentlemen's Clubs after every show.
Ivan: So... is Billy Ubermark... REALLY.... a virgin?
Pain: I'm not at liberty to say.
Ivan: I see... does Maelstrom have some kind of fish fetish in real life?
Pain: What?!
Ivan: Nevermind... so, do you have any merchandise for the EWT store yet?
Pain: Well, plans are being made for a P.T.A. shirt for all of the smarks that like the P.T.A.
Ivan: I see... do you think people actually like the P.T.A. though? They seem like such an evil group.
Pain: Well... if they can like Gene Snitsky, surely some of the IWC like them
Ivan: So... what would be your dream match in the EWT?
Pain: Well... I've always wanted wrestle the Legend Hitmanmark. It seems his technical skill would be a match for my own.
Ivan: Are there any plans to split the P.T.A. up in the future?
Pain: Not currently, but this is the EWT so... you never know.
Ivan: Well, thanks for your time Mr. Pain. Any last words?
pain: The Pain has only begun!!!
Ivan: Heh... I love that phrase.
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Oct 12, 2005 16:46:55 GMT -5
Source: Smarksdelight.mil
Apparently it has come to the attention here that Carl Guerrero has come down with something like a stomach virus, and may not be able to participate in his match for the next week.
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Oct 12, 2005 17:25:43 GMT -5
www.smarkcentral.comEWT Tidbits - It's still unknown when Toomi Bischoff will return to TV. - The Dorf-DSR rematch segment drew a 9.6 rating, narrowly beating the 9.3 rating the Heartbreak Hotel segment received (with both competitors) as the highest-rated EWT segment ever. - Speaking of The Heartbreak Hotel, there's a best of DVD in the works set to be released later this year. - The Nyrds, Mike and Joel, were recently spotted at a video game convention in Dallas. - Fans can expect the "EWT: Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation" to hit stores November 15. Here's the line-up*: DSR Dorf Spaz A-Bomb Billy Ubermark Maelstrom Merc Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels Gasoline The Nyrds JZ Curtok Barbwire Harry Les E. Biase Flex Magnificent Mike and Joe Ragnal Ape Curly Long Mr. Big Carl Guerrero Dave Davies Eddie Omega Raskall and Trunk David Adams WDD Botchberg Heiden-Dorf Craig Kendo Tony Chang LADIES Linda Ragnal Oceanic Mistress Mia Diva-Dorf Chrysta Ms. White Carla O. Woe Rosa Holly Vaughn NOT CONTROLLABLE Toomi Bischoff LEGENDS D-Boy HitmanMark Moxie Variable Na$ure Boy Scott Alcohall Fettster You Gene HM Myles *Line-up scheduled to change.
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Post by 'Foretold' Joker on Oct 12, 2005 17:51:24 GMT -5
-This week at the RumourMill- - The Recent surprise Title change was a ratings winner, and proved once agin anything can happen in EWT. - Maelstrom has recently been having some problems with his loft conversion, neighbours said they heard some sawing and then a loudly shouted 'Aarggghhh S#%@ that hurt' - Curly Long is adapting well to his new role, he is said to be in good spirits. Whether this has anything to do with the 18 empty bottles of Vodka found in a nearby rubbish bin is anyone's guess - credit www.rumourmill.net -
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Oct 13, 2005 4:49:19 GMT -5
www.smarksrule.comSPAZ SPEAKS TO SMARKSRULE.COM Recently we had the cahnce to sit down with EWT superstar Spaz for a bit of a Q & A session. SR.com: Nice to see you Spaz. You have been sick recently what was the problem. S: Just a bit of a stomach virus nothing serious having such a heavy travel schedule can take it out of you sometimes & you can be vulnerable. SR.com: You are currently working a program with Eddie Omega. How is he to work with. S: Eddie is still only new to this but he has got some skills. All he needs is time in the ring & he will be very good in EWT. SR.com: You are one of the higher level EWT stars now with a large fan base. How does it feel when you are in that ring & the fans are chanting your name? S: It's certainly better than when they were booing me! It's nice to know that your work is appreciated. When creative came to me & said they wanted me to turn face I was sceptical but it has turned out better than I could have hoped for. SR.com: You have been in EWT for a while know. WHat is your favourite match of your EWT career so far. S: My absolute favourite is from No Rest For The Wicked when I wrestled DSR for the World Title. We knew it was something special from the reaction of the fans but it wasn't till when I got backsatge after the match that & saw the reaction of all the guys in the locker room that i knew it was a classic. I also enjoyed the Ultimate OX Match against Davies, Red & HM Myles. SR.com: What does the future hold for Spaz in EWT? S: Many more great matches in EWT I hope. I just wanna keep doing this as long as I can. SR.com: Any plans for a title run in the future for Spaz? S: I don't make those decisions. I trust the creative team & if they think I am ready they will make it happen. SR.com: Thanks for your time Spaz. S: Thank You.
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Oct 13, 2005 22:45:02 GMT -5
www.smarkworld.comA-Bomb's injury news A-Bomb is still undergoing rehab for his neck and it is unknown on whether he will return to action. Sources close to him say that he would like to return to wrestling but, he feels that his heart is no longer there. He is taking what happened to him at the last ppv very hard and is trying to sort things out with him and his partner. *A-Bomb & Stevie sex tape* [glow=red,2,300]click here[/glow]
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 13, 2005 22:52:49 GMT -5
www.wrasslersknowledge.comMike Ragnal is reported to be returning to EWT before the next PPV, currently unnamed. In other news, Joe Ragnal made the first of four SAW appearances by defeating Russian Fomenko and Katty Cross in a mix tag with the former Secretary Saucy. It should be noted that Miss Savory had her hair died black.
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Post by viscera on Oct 16, 2005 0:11:09 GMT -5
Sum Stuff
Sunday October 16 2005
Hello once again. I'm Sum Guy and I'm a One Time Toolshed Champion!
This week... we saw lots of cool... stuff. We saw DSR... lose the title Dorf. We saw a hell of a Moxie Match against Chris Benoit, and we even witnessed a very... well, strange hardcore match between Raven and Paul Podanski. One I was involved in... sorta. Not only that, but we saw the debut of Chance... Confidence. Man and I thought Flex Magnificence had an ego... but at least he has reason to. This Chance Confidence is just some small guy who won a single match. Win some more against real superstars and I'll be impressed.
Currently, it seems the unamed Pay Per view will have a possible card including, DSR vs D-Boy, The P.T.A. vs the Nyrds, and some kind of GND Title Match. But it's Curly Long making the matches, so you never know.
I lost to Curly at Checkers again!!!
Next Week, I start the totally not ripped off WWE Segment, Shower Room Showdown. Where I'll pick an EWT Superstar each week and annoy him with incessant questions until I get beat up or they leave... after I get beat up. Those will be posted every... Tuesday! Yeah, that sounds good.
No the Sum Stuff Report will still be here...
Like anyone cares.
I wish I could've been General Manager instead of Curly Long. I'd put people in loser must hang out with Sum Guy Matches... so I'd have people to talk to. That would so rule!
I have X-Factors Autograph...
To the rumors that say that Sum Guy is gay... it's not true!!! I swear those pictures of me with a naked Ultimate Warrior at his house at 5 AM In the morning with me having whipped cream all over my body and him licking it off...were photoshopped!!!
Billy Ubermark was reportedly seen going to a Adult Store... so what else is new?!
I wish I was Sum Ragnal
Well that's it for this week. I'm Sum Guy and I stopped being funny after I wrote the first sentence.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 16, 2005 12:16:43 GMT -5
www.wrasslersknowledge.comLast night at an SAW taping, Joe Ragnal made his first of four contracted matches with SAW in an EWT sanctioned match against Juventud Guerrera. EWT will be airing footage of this match later on tonight or tomorrow. TOnight, Joe will be facing longtime SAW rival Alex the Belcher.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 16, 2005 14:52:15 GMT -5
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Post by viscera on Oct 18, 2005 10:45:19 GMT -5
Shower Room Showdown
Sum Guy: Hello everyone and welcome to the Shower Room Showdown. I'm your host... Sum Guy... because I'm the only one who would be. And to kick off this very awesome segment, this week I'm here with... Oceanic.
Oceanic: It's great to be here Sum.
Sum: Glad to hear it. So, what's it like beng you Oceanic?
Oceanic: "Wow. That's a hard question to answer. I don't really think much about it. It's fun. It's challenging, It's definitely not boring. All in all it's not a bad life. I don't know how else to put it."
Sum: I see. Who do you look up to in the EWT?
Oceanic: Even though he was one of the dirtiest champs ever, I think DSR is still one of the best right now. He leaves it all out there every night. Dorf is great as well. Spaz is fun to watch. I'm really enjoying the Billy/Maelstrom feud. Paul is getting better all the time. Ultimo Chocula is like a really bad movie. He's so off the wall you have to watch him. I also like the Nyrds a lot. I'm so glad they got back together. I even bought their DVD. One of these days I'll have to show those two how I beat Super Mario 3 in eleven minutes. Yes, I am a nerd too. (laughs)"
Sum: What's your favorite color?
Oceanic: Orange and green separately. Purple and yellow together. I like a deep cobalt blue when I'm in one of those moods."
Sum: Do you have a favorite animal?
Oceanic: I guess the easy answer would be a tiger since my ring gear is tiger striped. Although while in tour in Japan some people back stage called me the octopus because of all the submission holds I was using at the time. So I guess the octopus is up there too."
Sum: Will you go out with me?
Oceanic: Ummm..............no."
Sum: Damn, Ummmm... anyone in the EWT you hate?
Oceanic: Hate is such a strong word. 'Severely dislike' is more accurate."
Sum: I see. Why?
Oceanic: It doesn't take a genius to figure out who I don't care for and why. There's a lot of pretenders out there. A lot of fakes."
Sum: Last Question. Who would you rather fight? Mae Young or Fabulous Moolah?
Oceanic: Considering both are half dust by now I don't think either would put up much of a fight. Although I hear that in her youth Mae Young was as tough as she was ugly. I pick her. (laughs)"
Sum: Ha. Well thanks for joining me Oceanic. And check back on EWT.com next week for another edition of the Showdown. I'm Sum Guy and I don't make much money.
Oceanic: Figures.
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Post by curtrok on Oct 18, 2005 11:01:19 GMT -5
::Webcast::
Hey folks Michael Hays here and we have an exclusive report on the condtion of long time EWT start Curtrok, reports were that the PenUltimate Warrior bit off the hand of Curtrok at the wrist, those reports were false.
Curtrok had a chunk of flesh bitten off and will be able to perfrom in a few days with the aid of a special cast. Rumor also has it that Botchberg has stopped production on his new movie to aid curtrok in battling this threat.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 18, 2005 13:55:50 GMT -5
www.wrasslersknowledge.comAccording to the SAW website, Joe Ragnal will be fighting his last SAW match this Saturday at the SAW Arena against his brother Mike's longtime SAW rival Victor Rodriguez. His final appearance will be as manager for the former Secretary Saucy's first match since leaving the PTA against Katty Kross the very next day. We only hope that Joe will be going out in style. Mike Ragnal seems to have plans for the tag champions within the next week or two, sometime probably before the PPV. He will be making his EWT return very shortly.
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Post by dorf on Oct 19, 2005 10:21:08 GMT -5
Source: EWT.com"Dorf announced today that the next great EWT PPV selected by the fans will officially be called, "We Couldn't Be Arsed with a Name." Dorf said that's a nice touch to the PPV where he is currently headlining as EWT World Heavyweight Champion. Dorf: This PPV could not come at a better time when its DORF'S TIME! And whoever is going to face me at We Couldn't Be Arsed with a Name will Know his soul and shut his trap! Other comments involve: Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and as long as my name is mentioned in the PPV, it will be a blockbuster! PTA: (Canceler) Its excellent as long as I get to use my paddle Malestrom: I don't care where it is...all I care is beating up whoever mocks my aquarium *evil laughter* Curly Long: Great place to use my booking power to show that I can be better than that Toomi Bischoff Moxie: I think its a great opportunity to move up in the EWT ranks and prove that I can be a surprise to all. Billy Ubermark: What keeps me a virgin and my job here, then that's all I need. Page 1 of 12"
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Post by DSR on Oct 20, 2005 9:35:34 GMT -5
*****BrEAkINg N00Z!!!!111!!***
DSR has recently agreed to end his EWT wrestling career as a stipulation to his match with D-Boy at the next EWT PPV, We Couldn't Be Arsed With A Name. No one is sure why DSR has done this, but many insiderz are already debating the ramipercussions of the decision. We will try to get an interview with DSR before the PPV, to find out what's going on. Stay tuned.
*****All those fans who said "WHAT?" to the Undertaker really did sleep with their sister...AND WE HAVE THE PHOTOS!!!! cLiCk HERe
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Oct 23, 2005 1:26:40 GMT -5
Source:A-Bomb The Beta Male.com
This is a quote taken from his site.
Stevie injured me about 2 months ago as you all know. Our marriage is not over. We have had a couple disputes, and we decided to go to counceling. It is doing us great right and we are working things out. I'm in wrestling condition and you can expect a return of both of us soon.
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Post by viscera on Oct 23, 2005 5:14:31 GMT -5
Sum Stuff October 23 2005
I'm Sum Guy and I still haven't ran out of random stuff to say!
This week, we saw some great matches... a 10 man battle Royal, a Cage Match, a really one sided Tables Match, and the second match in the best of five series. But... well.. you obviously know that if you watched it.
Even though there are already a few matches signed for the next pay per view, I wouldn't be surprised if there are more signed though.
There is no official word on when exactly Toomi Bischoff will return to the EWT. But I'd guess it'd be right after the next pay per view.
Who exactly is Deamon Cohln?
In honor of the upcoming EWT Video Game: Yes We Have a Video Game, several EWT Superstars, including the Nyrds, the Unofficial Toolshed Chasmpion, Paul Podanski, Terri, Spaz, Maelstrom, and more, I don't know who else.
In related news... the EWT has enstated an annoying dress code, everyone must wear EWT Merchandise whenever they are not in character. Exceptions include... nobody.
Mean Simmons was reportedly arrested for impersonating Gene Simmons... he was sentenced to 200 hours of community service and sued for most of his EWT money... which wasn't that much since he was only there a week.
I was reportedly contacted by the WWE and offered a hell of alot of money to transfer over there. Of course I turned it down...
Wait... why exactly did I turn it down?
Ummmmmmm... Animal Crackers taste good!!!
I'm Sum Guy and I'm out of stuff to tell you.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Oct 24, 2005 4:43:46 GMT -5
From ultimochoculaissuperrad.com "Who said I wasn't equal opportunity? Thanks to my T-shirts flying off the shelves I've got enough royalties to buy and sell you all! Man, we can't keep those bad boys in stock! Although this fine garment is the #1 seller on EWTstore.com I'm always getting asked, "Ultimo, what about the ladies?" Well fear not tater tot! I gots the honey dips covered! Literally! Brand new from Ultimo Enterprises is the ladies "Chocula Rocksula" shirt. Now you're girlfriend can proudly display who she'd rather be with instead of you right across her bubs! It comes in all sizes so no babe is left behind! Check it out! Pretty cool, eh? "How much? HOW MUCH?!" I hear you shriek. How about a reasonable and quite affordable 15 bucks? How does that grab you? So whip out that credit card and get your "Chocula Rocksula" shirt today! I want to drive a better car!"
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