Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,408
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Oct 31, 2006 18:47:30 GMT -5
We cut to the back where Chad Michaels is sitting in the Two Kewl locker room, dressed for the match up. As he lets out a sigh and opens the door, Sum Guy and Candy Girl come rushing up to him, looking for an interview.
Sum: Hello, I'm Sum Guy, and I'm the super mega number 2 announcer!
Chad: Who's number one?
Candy: Hi!
Chad: Oh, okay. Now look, I'd love to chat, but I gotta get ready for my match against Too Cool. But since Mike is still in the hospital, I gotta do this by myself.
Sum: That's why we're here! You see-
Candy: We knew about your situation-
Sum: So we found you-
Candy: A partner!
Chad: Oh please God not Heidenreich. Anyone but Heidenreich!
Candy: I told you Heidenreich was a bad pick.
Sum: Well, anyway, because this "mission" was almost "impossible", we had to look really hard.
Chad: Oh no, not-
Sum: TOM CRUISE!!
*And on that note, "Old Fashion Rock 'n' Roll" hits as Tom Cruise slides in a la Risky Business as Chad just holds his head in his hands, not even looking up. Tom runs in and starts jumping on the couch as Chad looks up at Sum and Candy.
Chad: Couldn't I have gotten a better partner?
Candy: Nope. Toodles!!
Sum: I'm Sum Guy, and I-whoa!
Candy grabs Sum by the wrist and pulls him along as Chad turns to Tom.
Chad: So.....what's up?
Tom: I LOVE KATIE HOLMES!!!
Chad: Yeah...so....let's just go.
Tom: Wait! I gotta ask: Do you like my movies?
Chad: What?
Tom: Do you like my movies?
Chad: They're okay I guess. MI3 sucked though.
Tom: You don't like my movies?
Chad: No no no! I like your movies.
Tom: YOU DON'T LIKE MY MOVIES!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Tom runs around before jumping into a closet and closing the door. Chad goes up to the closet and tries (unsuccessfully) to get Tom out, pounding the door with each sentence.
Chad: TOM CRUISE, YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET RIGHT NOW!! WE GOT A MATCH TO GET TO!!! F***!!!
|
|
|
Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on Oct 31, 2006 18:52:23 GMT -5
*Gasoline walks up to the match board and sees that he's facing Maelstrom for the EWT title. A smile comes across his face*
Gas: At long last. There's nowhere to run, Maelstrom. Not this time.
*Gas walks off as we cut to the next segment*
|
|
Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
|
Post by Indigocrates on Oct 31, 2006 21:58:25 GMT -5
"HAIL SABIN" blasts over the speakers as Chris Sabin makes his down to the ring, being greeted by cheers. He enters the ring and awaits his opponent.
"Personal Jesus" by Marylin Manson starts and the lights go blue, the main light focuses on center stage as Chris Indigo makes his way down to the ring, to a loud sea of boos. Chris Indigo gives a "Like I care" hand gesture to the auidence and enters the ring.
Announcer: "From Cal;agary Alberta Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, CHHRRRRRRISSSSSSSSS IIINNNNDIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He then signals to the ring announcer for a microphone, the announcer gives him one, and he says, "Cut the music!"
Chris Indigo: "Now your all probably expecting me to go on a tirade about Symphony of Destruction and how either me or Marcus Saxton will be leaving the Toolshed Invitational as the EWT Toolshed Champion, but I'll save that until after the match. Sabin, this buisness concerns you. you see, I've always held a certain respect for TNA's X-Division. I guess you could say, it's influenced me at certain points in my career, and one thing I've always held extra respect for are it's champions. Now, I've searched my entire heart and soul, and I haven't found a shred of respect for the current abomination of a champion, and yes Sabin, this is where you come in."
*crowd boos*
Chris Indigo: "Sabin, I've always seen myself as an X-Division wrestler, and I die a little inside when jackasses like you win the X-Divison championship."
Chris Sabin: "Why don't you man up tonight, dawg? I'll put my X-Division title on the line tonight against you!"
Chris Indigo: "Sabin, you desecrated the X-Division title by winning it, and by kicking your ass tonight, I may be able to restore some of it's prestige. So, in order to process my response in a way that your feeble mind can understand it: I accept!"
Chris Indigo vs. Chris Sabin, singles match, for the TNA Wrestling X-Division title?
Indigo and Sabin immediatly start brawling inside the ring, and Indigo nails Chris Sabin's stomach with a knee, Indigo then throws Sabin into the corner. he attempts a stinger splash, but Sabin evades, and Indigo crashes into the turnbuckle. Sabin then hits a standing moonsault on Indigo, and goes for a pin. 1
2
KICK OUT!
Sabin then picks up Indigo and irish whips him into the turnbuckle, Sabin then goes over to the turnbuckle and hangs Indigo in the Tree of Woe. Before Sabin can continue, Toom E. Dangerously appears on the Toomitron.
Toom: "I've received a cease and desist from TNA Management. The order states that in your contract you cannot defend a TNA Wrestling title without permission from management. Since you did not receive permission from management, this match will continue, but the X-Division title will NOT be defended. That is all." Toom's image then disappears from the Toomitron. Sabin is left standing in the ring saying "What the hug!?" Chris Indigo then quickly hits Sabin with a drop kick which takes Sabin outside. Indigo then does a moonsault to the outside, which takes down Sabin. Indigo then gets up, and throws Sabin back to the inside, and pins Sabin.
1
2
KICK OUT! 2.9!
indigo then picks up Sabin and tosses Sabin into the turnbuckler in a rather cocky manner. After doing some taunting, Sabin qucikly hops to the middle turnbuckle and hits Indigo with the Over Easy DDT. Sabin then picks up Indigo and puts him in the Tree of Woe, Sabin then runs to the opposite turnbuckle, and hits a jumping dropkick on Chris Indigo, Inidgo then falls to the canvas. Sabin signals for a Cradle Shock, and gets Indigo into position, but when in position, Indigo knees sabin in the jaw and quickly counters into a German Suplex pin.
1
2
KICK OUT! 2.9
Indigo qucikly argues with the ref, then stalks Sabin who is in the process of getting up. Sabin gets up, and Indigo hits a Shining Wizard on Sabin, which sends Sabin into the turnbuckle. Indigo approaches Sabin, but Sabin quickly boots Indigo in the face and attempts a suplex. Indigo counters the suplex, however, and gives Sabin a Brainbuster onto the top turnbuckle. As a dazed Sabin is stumbling backwards from the turnbuckle, he stumbles right into the waiting Chris Indigo, who hits a Vision of Indigo on Sabin, and goes for the cover.
1
2
3!!!
The bell rings, and the ref declares, "Here is your winner, CHHHHHRRRRRISSSSSSSS IIIIINNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIGGGGOOOOOOOOO!" Chris Indigo asks for a microphone, and receives one.
Chris Indigo (winded from the match): "Spyke Johanson, I Don't want to wait until Symphony of Destruction, so I'm going to the parking lot, and I expect your sorry ass to be out there!"
Chris Indigo then leaves the ring and is making his way up the entrance ramp.
Mike Prozak: "You really have to wonder what Spyke will do in this situation." Mike Tenay: "Well Spykes a fighter, and it won't surprise me if he answers the challenge!"
*cut to the next segment*
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on Nov 1, 2006 0:20:22 GMT -5
*Prophecy Reborn sits resting in the locker room, as Toom E comes walking in. *
Golf claps. Golf claps boys. You have made it to the finals. And it's a shame that you technically don't have an opponent for the Megadeth.
See, with the DwO & the Sunshine Squad coming to a draw, that eliminates both teams. And that...well, that's really not fair to them. You see, they worked so hard to get this far. And I know you boys don't want me to just walk in & hand you the belts like that. That would be, um, what's that word I am looking for? Uncivilized?
Sure, uncivilized works for me. And that is why I have decided that the DwO & the Sunshine Squad will have a rematch against each other. But to speed the process up, their rematch will take place inside the Megadeth against you 2 boys.
So this Sunday, on pay per view, at Symphony of Destruction, it will be the DwO, the Sunshine Squad, & the Prophecy Reborn entering the Megadeth for the EWT Tag Team Championship. And in Megadeth fashion, the last team standing & not eliminated will become the EWT Tag team Champions.
And of course, they will also have their first title defense that night against Team Ireland.
So I hope you 2 are as prepared as I am. Because Sunday is going to be a fun day.
*Toom E walks away to a look of disgust from Prophecy Reborn.*
|
|
|
Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Nov 1, 2006 5:48:41 GMT -5
Announcer : Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, you are invited to see the debut of a brand new EWT superstar. And his first match begins right here, right now !
Following match is schedulded for ONE FALL ! Introducing first, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing 275 lbs... RHYYNOOOOO !!
Crowd cheers and starts showing signs as Rhyno gets to the ring.
And the challenger... from Strasbourg, France, weighing 238 lbs... A Darkness In The Light, MYSTH !!
Fireworks blow up, then Mysth appears. He starts greeting the crowd that doesn' t know how to react as he' s a newcomer, but some of them find him friendly because he seems to care about them...
Mysth enters into the ring, looking Rhyno in the eye...
And the bell rings !! DING DING !!
Both superstars catch each other, then Rhyno eye rakes Mysth, who replies with an uppercut. Rhyno is on the ground, Mysth kicks him twice, then runs into the ropes and performs a Shing Wizard. He runs once again into the ropes to performs a second one, but Rhyno got up and hits the Spinebuster. Rhyno locks the Boston Crab in, but Mysth gets out of it in 4 seconds... Now the two athletes are looking at each other, Mysth runs and tries to clothesline Rhyno, who dodges the attack and toe kicks Mysth, then performs a Suplex. While Mysth is on the ground, Rhyno hits fury punches on him, with closed fist. The referee demands him to stop. Rhyno does so, only to argue with the ref. In the meantime, Mysth gets up, runs behind Rhyno' s back and performs a German Suplex. Mysth picks him up and performs a short range Lariat. Mysth shows off by spreading his arms to the crowd, giving Rhyno time to come behind his back and hit a Sidewalk Slam. Rhyno Leg Drops Mysth, then picks him up and throws him into the ropes... but Mysth hits the referee ! With both Mysth and the ref knocked down, Rhyno gets out of the ring and searches for a steel chair. Then he comes back into the ring, picks Mysth up, an performs a DDT with the chair ! The ref gets up, and Rhyno covers Mysth...
1...
2...
KICKED OUT !!
Mysth gets up and tells the referee Rhyno just hit him with a chair, but Rhyno comes from the back and hits a Back Suplex ! Rhyno wants to grab Mysth who' s on the ground, but Mysth pushes him away. He tries to kick Rhyno, who grabs his foot, helping Mysth to perform the Grab Enzuigiri ! Mysth picks Rhyno up, punches him twice in the stomach, then performs a Fame Asser. As Rhyno is on the ground, Mysth performs a Half Crab. It' s very painful, but after a big struggle, Rhyno gets out of it. Mysth runs at Rhyno to try and clothesline him, but Rhyno grabs his arm and throws him in a corner. Rhyno runs at Mysth, who dodges a running shoulder. Rhyno si now in the corner. Then, Mysth grabs him and performs the Superplex ! Mysth now tries to get the pin...
1...
2...
3-NO ! Kicked at the very last moment ! The crowd is on their feet !
Rhyno grabs Mysth by the hair and throws him into the ropes in hope to use the Snapmare, but when Mysth crosses him, he uses a Neckbreaker ! Mysth picks Rhyno up and performs an uppercut that gets Rhyno groggy in the ropes, allowing Mysth to hit the Springboard Dropkick ! Rhyno is now out of the ring, but Mysth is a bit to close from the ropes, and Rhyno grabs his head and headbutts him. Rhyno is now coming back into the ring and throws Mysth in the ropes, Rhyno runs at him ! GOOOORE !! BUT... ?? Mysth grabbed Rhyno' s throat !! He turned the Gore into a... MYSTHICAL CHOKESLAM !! Rhyno strongly hits the ground head first ! Mysth covers him !
1...
2...
3...
DING ! DING ! DING !
Announcer : Here' s your winner... MYSTH !!
What a debut for this wrestler !
* Cuts to commercials *
|
|
|
Post by pta on Nov 1, 2006 7:39:38 GMT -5
As we return, after the controversy from the earlier tag team match, both teams have been cleared out it seems... when suddenly Pomp and Circumstance starts up! The crowd immediately turns towards the Toomitron as Principal Pain heads down towards the ring!!! Only... he has to use crutches to do so, wearing a neck brace and accompanied by some random nurse as the crowd looks on disbelief. Half cheer while the other half boo intensely, Pain with a satisfied smile on his face as he crutches his way towards the ring, being helped inside by the nurse as he walks into the center of the ring, looking on to an unsuspecting crowd, with a rather serious look on face. He let's a small " Welcome Back Pain " Chant die down, before he begins to speak.
Pain: Crapamania III... it shall forever live on as the most unpleasant experience of my life. That ungrateful turncoat, Eddie Omega, left me laying in a pool of my own blood! I had to be carried out of that ring, suffered a broken ankle... a broken neck... I may never be at one-hundred percent ever again!
The crowd cheers Omega in response as Pain looks on in disgust.
Pain: But... here I stand before you once again my pupils. And it seems in my absence, the EWT has taken quite the interesting turn. Maelstrom is our new EWT Champion... the Tag Team Titles... Vacated and being settled in some ridiculous Megadeth match. That Mountain Dew Guzzling Ragnal is Tri-State Champion... THE DANCING MORON... TOOLSHED CHAMPION! And now, as of next week, we may have a friggin FURRY as our Ox Division Champion! This company has grown PATHETIC!!!
The crowd angrily in response as Pain soaks it in, a rather bemused look on his face.
Pain: But not for much longer. You see, while I remained in the hospital, recovering for two months, still in recovery mind you, I heard that... there have been quite a few new additions to our roster, which is always good, but I've noticed... a lack of new tag teams. Yes... and with new champions soon to be decided, they'll need some healthy competition won't they?
Pain smiles to himself as the crowd looks on rather confused.
Pain: Seeing as the EWT harlot Hunt was such a rousing success, I thought that I could do something better. Something MUCH better. Instead of bringing some psychotic thug woman, who mind you has left the company, I will bring to you people... a well oiled and magnificent Tag Team. A Tag Team of which the likes you have never seen before. But while I could easily decide who would be most worthy of this opportunity, I'm going to be a nice guy and let you people decide.
The crowd grows a bit more excited with this announcement, as Pain continues standing there, still on crutches.
Pain: That's why... immediately starting after the Symphony of Destruction, I shall present to you... unworthy ragamuffins... the first ever EWT Two Tough Competition!!! Over the course of weeks, you will meet eight willing tag teams... each one ready to prove themselves, each one picked by myself and a few other EWT Officials. Then over the course of roughly two months, they will compete in various competitions, devised by myself mind you... to guarantee just how difficult they are. Testing their endurance, testing their abilities, testing their strength, their atheleticism... you get the point. Then after only two teams remain, the two will wrestle in one final match, the winner of which shall gain an EWT Contract.
The crowd goes nuts with excitement from this announcement, very curious about this new competition. Pain looks on, letting it die down once again.
Pain: So my pupils, the next few months are guaranteed to be quite interesting. Unfortunately, I still haven't been cleared for competition, but trust me, once I officially return, everyone who put me in that damned hospital in the first place, shall pay QUITE DEARLY! But until then... I shall see you all in one week. Take care...
Pomp and Circumstance starts up once again as Principal Pain walks himself out of the ring, heading backstage again as the crowd seems to immediately start discussing this future event rather eagerly amongst themselves, as we fade to commercial.
|
|
|
Post by teamireland on Nov 1, 2006 17:22:20 GMT -5
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. *That Rocked-up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays over the EWT sound system as Shane Malone & Coach O'Hare make their way to the ring.*
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: Introducing first, weighing in at 297lbs, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, from Galway, Ireland, "The Celtic Giant" SHANE MALONE!
*The green, white & gold, pyro goes off as Malone & O'Hare raise their arms in the air triumphantly & continue on down the ramp.*
*"Do You Wanna Be A Hero?" begins playing & Singapore Caine makes his entrance to a huge pop. He is carrying a (you guessed it) Singapore Cane. He holds it in the air triumphantly, like The Sandman tends to do, & the crowds cheers grow louder.*
Garcya: And his opponent, from Singapore, China, weighing in at 250lbs… SINGAPORE CAINE!
*Caine makes his way on down to the ring where Malone awats him.* DING-DING! *Malone immediately works Caine into a corner, pounding at him with fists & elbows. Caine manages to rally & works Malone into a different corner. Malone works his way out & Irish whips Caine, hard, into yet another corner. Caine goes running chest first into the turnbuckle, then stumbles backwards in pain. Malone grabs him & hits two consecutive backbreakers, followed up by a "Gal-A-Way Slam".*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Malone picks Caine up for a suplex. He follows up by picking Caine up & doing another suplex. Malone gets Caine in a front headlock on the ground. Caine tries to get to his feet; Malone maintains his grip. When Caine gets to his feet again, Malone hooks one of Caine's legs & performs a modified Fisherman's Suplex. Caine crawls over to a corner, pulling himself up. Malone follows him & gives a few stomps to caine's mid-section. Caine is reeling. Malone takes a few steps back & goes charging at Caine. Caine gets an elbow up into Malone's face. Caine goes charging for Malone. Malone surprises him with a Gorilla Press. Malone drops Caine to the floor outside. Shane follows Caine outside & tosses him into a security barrier & rolls back inot the ring.*
*Malone celebrates in the ring as the referee counts on. Caine, meanwhile, slips into the ring unseen by Shane or O'Hare. Caine delivers a powerful backdrop suplex to Malone & stomps at "The Celtic Giant". Caine gives Malone a powerful elbow drop & covers the big man.*
1...
2...
KICKOUT! *Malone gets to his feet & the two exchange blows. Malone whips Caine into a corner & goes charging at him. Caine gets an elbow up into Malone's mush & attempts another cover.*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Caine whips Malone into a corner & tries to follow up, Malone gets an elbow into Caine's face. Caine goes reeling back, but rallies with a big shoulder tackle. Caine tries locking in a sleeper hold on Malone. Shane snapmares Caine over, but Caine quickly gets his bearings & kicks Malone in the face. Caine drags Malone to his feet & nails a DDT. He covers.*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Caine doles out a few stomps & kicks to Malone. Caine takes a few steps back & when Malone gets to his feet, Caine charges him again. Malone hits Caine with a BIG Spinebuster, both men are down. The referee gets to a count of 6 before both men are on their feet again. They lock up & Malone knees Caine in the gut a few times. Caine gets Malone with a Jawbreaker & follows up with a strong lariat. Caine goes for a cover.*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Malone rolls around until he's on all fours. Caine locks Malone into a sleeper hold. Malone still attempts to get to his feet. Caine also locks in a body scissors on Malone. Malone is down & fading. After much struggling, Malone makes it back onto his feet, carrying Singapore Caine like in a piggyback. Malone dashes towards one corner back first, mashing Singapore Caine between the turnbuckles & his own body. Caine still hangs on. Malone goes crashing into another corner, mashing Singapore Caine, again. Still, Caine hangs on. Malone makes another run at a corner, crushing Caine once more. Finally, Caine releases his hold. Malone collapses on all fours. Once he's recuperated a little, Caine makes another run for Malone, only to be met by a clothesline. Caine gets up, to meet another clothesline & another & another. Malone caps it off by hitting a Power Slam. He hooks the leg.*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*When his opponent is on his feet, Malone tackles Caine into a corner. Malone takes a few steps back & goes charging forward, shoulder first. Caine manages to side-step Malon. Malone crashes into the ringpost & saunters back, clutching his collarbone. Caine waits behind him & grabs malone's shoulders, looking for the Singapore Drop. Malone snapmares Caine over before he can hit the move. Malone hooks Caine up & executes the Dragon Slayer! *
1...
2...
3!
DING-DING-DING! *"Amhrán na bhFiann" plays again as Malone & O'Hare celebrate.* Garcya: Here is your winner, "The Celtic Giant" SHANE... MALONE!
*O'Hare drapes the tricolour over Singapore Caine's body before he & Malone make their way backstage, laughing.*
[Cut to a video promo for Maelstrom vs. "Creepshow" Cletus Quinn at Symphony of Destruction]
|
|
B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
|
Post by B.A. on Nov 1, 2006 17:27:47 GMT -5
Eddie Omega comes out to the ring while the audience cheers to its feet.
Audience: Omega, Omega!
Eddie steps into the ring and grabs a mic from Chimel. The crowd hushes as Eddie addresses the crowd.
Eddie: You know.....*crowd starts Omega chants again* I just gotta say its about damn time I get a chance to go after the GOLD!
*crowd cheers again*
Eddie: Let me just say this, first off...I see my good ol friend principal pain is back. Listen pal, you want a fight? You want Eddie Omega, you can bring it anytime you want. But even though I knew for a fact that the P.T.A. was dying, I went on to be a singles competitor because I know weakness! And Pain, you are weak! But enough about the past, I know i'm gonna run into you soon enough.
Now about the upcoming Symphony of Destruction, 6 guys..all in the ring, Spaz, Ubermark, Gasoline, Ratings, Michaels and..well, most important of all, me! I think I happen to stand a good chance to face the unlucky sap who has to defend his title against me. Hell, im cocky but at least I know my limit.
*he turns to the camera*
Do any of you guys know your limits? Do you know what I can possibly do if I have my mind focused? There is nothing and I mean nothing that can get in my...
*Stings music starts out of nowhere leaving a flabbergasted Omega in the ring*
Sting walks out on the stage as the audience goes bananas. He points a bat to Omega and walks down the ring with his TNA heavyweight Title on. He goes up the steps, enters the ring and stares down Eddie as Eddie inaudibly talks to him about why he is here. Sting goes up to the talking Omega and takes the mic from him.
Sting: Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The audience mimmicks this and does the same thing.
Sting: Eddie..Eddie..Eddie, you know...you just gotta shutup!
Audience: *slight cheers*
Sting: ..I see some of you don't like me...saying that he has to shutup, well what if I made you shutup huh? Ring the bell ref!
Eddie is in his jeans and he's looking at Sting asking what he is doing. Eddie tries to go up to Sting but Sting punches Omega sending him to the ground. He takes off his coat as he tosses Omega who's up into the corner and begins to kick him in the gut. Eddie manages to get up again and tosses Sting into the corner this time and he is about to knife edge chop but Sting ducks and chops Omega.
He irish whips him and runs to the opposite corner doing the Stinger Splash to a dizzy Omega. He grabs both his legs as Eddie begs him not to hook him into the Scorpion Death Lock, but he does!! Eddie is now turned over into it and the ref is looking for Eddie to tap. Eddie raises his arm and is close to tapping but out of nowhere, Jarrett comes out of the back and nails Sting in the back of the head with a guitar.
Ref promptly rings the bell and Jarrett begins stomping Sting. Eddie is holding his back and he gets to all fours before Jarrett smashes Eddie over the back with what's left of the guitar as payback for his match with Omega weeks back. The bell continously signals for the bell as he tries to get Jarrett out the ring. Both Sting and Jarrett are down as the camera cuts.
|
|
Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
|
Post by Curly Long on Nov 1, 2006 19:42:22 GMT -5
*We are back in at ringside and Lillian Garcia has the microphone*LILLIAN: The following match is a tag team bout and will featu……. VOICE: Cut that microphone!! Cut it!! *Out from the backstage area comes Curly Long. He has a microphone. Lillian’s microphone stops working as the audience turns toward the cocky little midget.*CURLY LONG: Hey Lillian, Sorry to say this, but the match you were about to announce is I’m afraid to say … cancelled. You see the Quebecers had a nasty accident backstage … *Up on the Toomi-tron an image appears showing both Quebecers with there heads stuck in the ceiling and the feet far from the floor. Mr. Big is standing by admiring his handiwork. He is utterly oblivious to the camera now being on.* CURLY: Big ... BIG ... Get out of there! *Mr. Big turns to see that he is live on TV, he quickly looks in another direction, whistles and walks off as if to say it wasn’t him. We go back to Curly Long on the stage. The crowd is beginning to jeer.*CURLY: Now now, people … save that for after the commercial break …. *We fadeout to commercial, as we see curly telling some workers to bring some stuff out.*------------------------------ INTERVAL-------------------------------
A scene of rolling hills and valleys sweeps under the camera as pleasant music fills our ears. The ideal look of the countryside can be seen. We see an old oak tree on it’s own in a field and some cows. As we pan across a young woman In a light dress runs through the fields in slow motion. Skipping past butterflies and other pretty things you find in fields.
VOICE OVER: Nature, fresh air, the gentle breeze on your cheeks…
The woman stops to smell a flower and stroke a deer that looks like Bambi only cuter. Clouds pitter-patter past in the sky as bird song can be heard.
VOICE OVER: Meadows filled with Daisies, the mild sound of mooing and yellow corn fields flickering in the wind ….
The Woman is still running around enjoying her day.
KERR-TIIINK-KERRRUNCCH
She suddenly falls over and screams she is in serious pain. A squirrel in a tree looks on before nibbling on a nut. We cut back to find she has stood on a bear-trap
VOICE OVER: Trespassing is illegal! Don’t do it or you may regret it!
The commercial fades out
-------------------------- Interval Over ----------------------------------------- *We come back to EWT programming to find in the ring Curly Long and Mr. Big. The crowd is booing as the last sounds of ‘Moving on up’ plays in the background*CURLY LONG: Guess what time it is? *Curly Long turns to the whole audience as he speaks. In the ring two huge marble pillars stand in the corners, a silver table laden with fruit is in the centre. Mr. Big stands to the right of Curly while two Brunette Toga Girls hold pitchers of wine, which Curly has already helped himself too.*CURLY: That’s right … Welcome to Curly is EWT!! *The crowd boos loudly, but curly ignores it*CURLY: Once again it is time for the lowest denominator to have his say on the only show that counts … The Colossal Coliseum! *The fans are unimpressed as one of the toga girls pours a glass of wine for Mr. Big. Curly looks for some support but gets none!*CURLY: Bunch of ungrateful heathens! … Here I am providing an entertaining show and at the same time sharing air with you wastrels. Yet all you do is boo! … It’s enough to make me want to talk about Ultimo Chocula! … Which is handy, because here he is the guest of my show tonight Ultimo Chocula!! *On that "Poor And Weird" by The Briefs plays and out strolls Ultimo Chocula to a cheer, Curly cuts in with a crude comment as he heads to the ring*CURLY: You’d cheer this loser instead of me? … Good grief and I thought this towns’ local food had horrible taste! *A ‘VLB’ chant immediately starts after that comment. Chocula enters the ring and takes up a microphone from a toga girl*ULTIMO CHOCULA: Wow, Curly Fries. It sure is nice of you to invite me out here after you've cost me a shot at the tag titles. Remind me again why I shouldn't replace your brain with the fun part of a pineapple right here in front of everybody! CURLY: Hey don’t try and twist this! You’re the guy who decided it would be fun to interfere in my affairs, because of you the last two toga girls left town without even leaving me a phone number … So I had to get these two new replacements. Hell, If it weren’t for you and the Vibrator Boy backstage, myself and Big would be in the Megadeth! *Ultimo looks to the crowd who automatically start a ‘Curly Sucks’ chant for the Main–Event Midget to hear. Curly tries to tell them to shut up as Ultimo decides to cut back in.* ULTIMO: "Hey now, I can't take credit for you and the umberhulk getting eliminated from the Megadeth. Oh sure, I wish I could, but I'm afraid the credit goes to you and your complete and total incompetence. Kudos! *Ultimo starts clapping. Curly in frustration that he is being out talked throws the fruit plate out of the ring. Mr. Big steps away from the toga girl, but Curly raises hand*CURLY: You Son of a B****! The only incompetent thing around here is …. *Ultimo cuts off the tiny chatterbox*ULTIMO: In case you haven't noticed, and if you haven't maybe you should get some more phone books to prop you up at eye level to the tv, I'm a brand new Ultimo! I'm rising up the ranks faster than Grapenuts through a goose! The people in the crowd are starting to cheer for me! The guys in the back are starting to respect me! My name has become a buzz word in Hollywood! My action figure is on this month's cover of Toyfare! So where do you get off calling me out, shrimp? Eh? Who the hell are you? I'll tell you who! You're a sawed off runt who's bitter at me because..............get this..........(leans forward and gets very close to Curly's face)..........I'M BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!" *Curly is fuming; he can’t believe it as he kicks over the silver table. He then pauses as the crowd chants Ultimo’s name, he turns a grin on his face and marches right up to Ultimo.*CURLY: Everything huh? ULTIMO: Everything! *Curly starts looking around Ultimo, to his left, then to his right and then behind him and even looks up his shirt.*ULTIMO: What are you doing now? CURLY: Oh nothing … just looking for your little miss sunshine, Terri! … Oh that’s right she ditched you for the sexed up battery toy! *Ultimo is annoyed by the remark, whilst Curly grins with the verbal punch, Ultimo walks around the ring, Mr. Big watches him carefully*ULTIMO: Curly, Here's the thing about Dynomutt. First off, the guy waltzes in from out of nowhere and starts stealing my friends. Then he starts talking *BEEP!* about me. CURLY: I like the guy already .. heheh *Ultimo is not impressed but continues talking*ULTIMO: Then I have to tag with him and he does NOTHING in the match except piss me off, which he does quite well. Now I have not one, but two matches with that poncho wearin' dweeb! But I learned something about Dynomutt recently that made me view him in a different light. Oh sure, he still gets on my nerves, but I'm willing to let that slide because........well...........let's bring him out so he can shed some light on the subject. … *On that note, Sexy Dynamo's music hits and he makes his way down to the ring, accompanied by Terri as usual. Curly gets a laugh out of his antics.*CURLY: Hey, get a load of this guy. Antonio Banderas in spandex, and the same acting talent. *Dynamo and Terri enter the ring. Curly swivels his hips and blows a kiss at her, and she recoils in disgust.*DYNAMO: Ah, the famed Curly Colosseum. Always I have wanted to see it in person. A fortunate one am I, and good fortune to you, Ultimo. ULTIMO: Will you get to the point? Tell the people what's going on! CURLY: No, no, hold on. (to Dynamo) What do you like best about Curly's Colossal Colosseum? ULTIMO: You've gotta be kidding me. DYNAMO: For one thing, the wonderful architecture. These pillars of stone, they represent to me strength and fortitude. Sexy Dynamo is a connoisseur of the fine arts. As well as the fact that you have brought two lovely ladies just for my entertainment. (to the toga girls) Hello, my lovelies. *The toga girls blush and turn away.*DYNAMO: And it is common knowledge that our humble host, Curly Long, is a connoisseur of fine wine and lovely ladies. CURLY: I hear Ultimo's the same way, except he has to get them drunk off the wine to even get to first base. *Dynamo and Curly share a hearty laugh. Ultimo is getting steamed.*ULTIMO: Okay, that's enough! I don't care what your motivation is! I don't even know why I dragged you out here in the first place! You are really getting on my last nerve! *Ultimo gets right up in Dynamo's face. Dynamo's careless expression does not change. Curly and Big start to get excited.*CURLY: Yeah Dynamo, kick his ass! It just ain't Curly's Colossal Colosseum without a good fight! *Just then, Great Hugo makes his way down to ringside. The crowd groans.*CURLY: Aw dammit, not this guy again! *Hugo enters the ring. He turns around and nods at Curly and Big. Then he turns back and faces Dynamo and Ultimo.*CURLY: Hey, on second thought, this might be fun. Instead of a fight, we can have ourselves a good old-fashioned massacre! Like I give a crap! *Hugo glares directly at Dynamo. After a moment, Dynamo breaks into a smile. Curly watches in puzzlement as Hugo returns the smile.*CURLY: Wait, what the... *Hugo whips around and boots Mr. Big right in the nuts! He drops to the mat in pain.*CURLY: WHAT DID YOU DO! WHAT DID YOU DO! *Hugo grabs Curly and tosses him across the ring! The toga girls scramble to the backstage area.*ULTIMO: What the hell is going on? *Hugo and Dynamo nod to each other, then they simultaneously remove their masks, revealing...*RASKALL AND TRUNK*Raskall and Trunk are back! Curly looks on in horror as his old enemies stand in the ring before him!*RASKALL: Surprise, Curly! It's been awhile, hasn't it? Don't think we've forgotten about you! We've been away from EWT for several months, collecting our thoughts, waiting, watching you from afar, and now, it's gonna begin ALLLLL over again! *The crowd is stunned*RASKALL: In case you've forgotten, I am the man known as Rick Raskall! I high-fly, I death-defy, I make my opponents say "Why Why Why", and I make all the ladies -- including the smoking hot Terri Runnels -- say "My My My"! *Raskall shakes hands with Trunk in the centre of the ring*RASKALL: And my partner, the man who's built like a brick s***house and hits just as hard, Marcus Trunk! *Curly is cursing in the corner more in shock than anything else. Ultimo watches on at the other isde of the ring*RASKALL: Don't tell me you had no idea, Curly. We come in here and spend four months hiding behind cheap costumes that any loser could buy at Wal-Mart, and yet you couldn't see through it. Oh yeah, and "Great Hugo"? Three-Time Alpha Omega Puro Champion? If anybody around here had bothered to do any research, there IS no such promotion as Alpha Omega Puro! *The Fans continue to watch as this event unfolds*RASKALL: As and as for me, well, my charisma and lovemaking skills are unmatched -- hey there Terri -- but even a four-year-old could see through the cheesy Latino accent! "Bee-cozz ever-teeng ees mag-NEE-fee-cant when you're sexayyy." Everybody knows I'm a bad actor. Hell, Will Ferrell just barely beat me out for "Talladega Nights". But Curly, you were probably busy burying your face in some goat porn magazine to notice. *Curly has managed to get to his feet, but is clearly still trying to think what to say. Mr. big has rolled to the ouside still in pain*RASKALL: And while we're talking about... ULTIMO: Excuuuuuuuse me, but I believe I was the special guest for this show, and yet again I get the Dangerfield Treatment! No respect, I tells ya! RASKALL: Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to steal your thunder while you were whining about never winning and getting dumped by Terri, but man, something about you makes me respect you. I have no idea why, but you're all right. In fact, we made a fine team in the past. Why don't you join me and Trunk here in the quest for FREEDOM! ULTIMO: Not so fast, Scooter. Mask or no mask, we've got a match this week, and I still intend on kicking your ass! RASKALL: Alright, fine then. We'll have our little match this week, then the Pay Per View, then we'll talk about Curly. CURLY: Excuse me, I'm still here! RASKALL: Hey Trunk, take care of that. *Trunk picks up Curly and tosses him over the top rope, next to Big, who is still holding his sore groin. They both limp off together.*RASKALL: Now then, the match. Let's make it simple. Let me win, then I'll pick the stipulation for the PPV match. I think we can agree on an If Your Name Is Rick Raskall, You Win match. I add another notch to my win total, and neither of us have to break a sweat. ULTIMO: Okay then, or we could do it this way; We have a proper match or I bash your face in with a shovel. RASKALL: Okay, fair enough. Then we settle the whole Curly thing. ULTIMO: Fine by me. *Ultimo and Raskall reluctantly shake hands, up on the stage Mr. Big walks backstage, Curly is still watching anger in his eyes, before following his friend.*RASKALL: See you later, "play"or. *Raskall gives Ultimo a playful kick in the butt as Ultimo exits the ring. Ultimo turns around and opens his mouth, but there's Trunk, eyebrows raised, cracking his knuckles.*ULTIMO: Okay, maybe some other time. *Ultimo leaves the ring.*RASKALL: And in closing, I'd just like to bring to remembrance the immortal words of LL Cool J... DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!! *Raskall and Trunk, with Terri, exit the ring.*
|
|
Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,408
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 1, 2006 19:50:56 GMT -5
We cut to the Two Kewl locker room where Chad Michaels is still trying to get Tom Cruise out of the closet.
Chad: Tom, come on man. Just come out of the closet.
*Dead silence*
Chad: Look, I thought this would happen, so I brought you a couple of friends that are gonna help you come out of the closet.
*As if on cue, John Travolta and R. Kelly come in the locker room and head straight for the door. And yes, R. Kelly is dressed up like Zorro.
John: Tom Cruise, this is your friend John Travolta, and you have to come out of the closet, likeohmygyahh. Just, just come out of the closet, likeohmygyahh.
Chad: Well that sucked ass. R. Kelly, could you please try to get him out.
R. Kelly: Sure, but do you have any 14 year old girls around here? Because I gotta go to the re-
Chad: EEEEEWWWWW! I don't wanna hear that man! Just get him out so I can do all the work and win the match.
R. Kelly: *Singing* Tom Cruise, come out of the closet! Just come, out of the closet!
*The door swings open and R. Kelly and John suddenly wlak in before the door closes.
John: Likeohmygyahhhis is scary to the max, likeohmygyahh.
R. Kelly: *Still singing* Now I'm, in the closet!
Chad: Great, just f***in' great. Now I gotta get them out! JUST F***ING GREAT!!!
|
|
|
Post by chanceconfidence on Nov 2, 2006 0:15:44 GMT -5
Gillberg's music starts up as he walks out with the rest of the J.O.B. Squad, who all hold out little sparkler doo dads, as Gillberg imitates that guy who already got beat this week, as he stomps down to the ring, tripping intentionally, as he followed by Bob Holly, Al Snow, Too Cold Scorpio, and the Blue Meanie, as everyone cheers and goes nuts for the JOB Squad... I have no idea why.
Announcer: The following singles competition is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied by the JOB Squad, from Baltimore Maryland, weighing in at 227 pounds, Gillberg!
Gillberg makes his way into the ring, looking angry and stuff, as he awaits his opponent. He doesn't have to wait long as Sweetest Perfection quickly starts up, Chance stepping out from the back, then after realizing his opponent, starts laughing his ass off out loud, as he tries to announce himself.
Chance: AHAHAHAHA... and his... heehee... glorious opponent... hohoho...CHANCE... CONFIDE...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn it... you are seriously my opponent?!
Chance holds his stomach in laughter as he continues walking down to the ring, quickly doing his usual entrance as Gillberg looks all pissed off, running over and shaking the ropes, just as Chance hops up, simply delivering a stiff boot right to the noggin, knocking Gill back. He then springs off the ropes, hitting a Flipping Neckbreaker, landing on his feet as he finally stops laughing, calming self. The entire Job Squad hops onto the apron, trying to distract, as Chance walks over, running besides and clobbering them all with the same clothesline, as they easily get knocked off, as Chance turns around to a rising Gillberg, charges forward and snaps off a Tornado DDT, spiking him into the mat. Gillberg groans as Confidence plops atop his fallen opponent, yawning and patting him atop his bald head, before getting back off, striking a classic boxing stance and jabbing cockily at the air, as Gillberg rises back up, Chance giving him a one two punch combo, knocking him back further as Confidence charges and hits a running Confidence Breaker, as usual charging and leaping onto the turnbuckle, coming off with the Classic Confidence Booster... and surprise surpise... it connects. 1....2...
3.
Oh wow... like you didn't see that coming!
Chance: Here is your winner... well, me you morons. Who else?
The crowd boos loudly in response as Chance smirks, pushing Gillberg out of the ring with his boot as he turns back to the crowd, folding his arms.
Chance: So then, Spyke... I hate to admit it, but you weren't the god awful mess of a tag team partner I had you figured as. Still, if you think for one bloody second that's gonna stop me from beating you and all the piss ants in that Battle Royal thingamabob Dad of yours, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!
Chance looks quite serious now as he looks on.
Chance: You see twits, I'm afraid all of you are nothing but mere blips on the radar of excellence, compared to myself. I mean, if you honestly think you're winning that title... OR retaining it, I'd probably think again, though that may be a bit difficult for you brain dead slobs, so... maybe halfway think?
The crowd boos in response as Chance smiles rather smugly.
Chance: In other words, come this Sunday, Chance....Confidence shall become your new Toolshed Cha... Two Time Toolshed Champion! The rest of you shall simply be left JUST JEALOUS!!!
Chance's theme starts up once again as he vaults out of the ring, stepping along the still knocked out bodies of the JOB Squad, hopping from one to the other till he reaches the rampway, heading back up it... as we fade to commercial.
|
|
|
Post by Oceanic on Nov 2, 2006 2:48:58 GMT -5
Swinging from the ceiling of an old abandoned house is a lone light bulb. The room goes from light to dark as the bulb swings. On the last swing the light forms the shadow of a figure before the bulb breaks and the screen goes dark ARINGHE ROSSE COMING SOON
|
|
|
Post by teamireland on Nov 2, 2006 18:58:04 GMT -5
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall.
*The Highlanders' traditonal Scottish-style music begins playing as Rory & Robbie McAllister make their way to the ring.* Garcya: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 34 Stone, from Oben, Scotland, Rory & Robbie McAllister, THE... HIGHLANDERS!
*That Rocked-up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays over the EWT sound system as ALL FIVE MEMBERS of Team Ireland make their way to the ring.* Garcya: And their opponents... TEAM IRELAND?
*The green, white & gold, pyro goes off as they all raise their arms in the air triumphantly & continue on down the ramp, while Coach O'Hare continues to wave the tricolour.*
*Once in the ring O'Hare makes a signal & all his Team Ireland boys attack The Highlanders. O'Hare himself makes his way out of the ring to get a microphone.* O'Hare: So, tonight, it was supposed to be Team Ireland vs. The Highlanders. As it is, I'm merely following orders! Now, why are ALL the Team Ireland lads out here? Well, the matchboard wasn't specific enough for my liking, we don't have time to waste on worthless tag-teams who exist only to allow people to laugh at them & we have point to make to all our Symphony Of Destruction opponents.
*Within the ring we see Sean McCann hitting "The Donegal Drop" on Robbie.* O'Hare: That one's for you Megadeth winners! It doesn't matter if it's the two giant escaped mental patients with their b**** of a manager, the two emo-goths or the cheese sandwich freak & his mate. If Sean hits the "Donegal Drop", you lads are out! *Back in the ring, Malone hits an "Irish Car Bomb" on Rory.* O'Hare: I hope you're paying attention Chris Evans. Such a fate awaits you in your re-match with Big Shane come this Sunday. *O'Neill wraps Rory up with "The Celtic Knot". Rory is clearly unconscious.* O'Hare: Spyke Johansson, after Liam has eliminated EVERY other person in that battle royal, the ToolShed Championship will be coming back with us to Ireland! *Donnelly hits Robbie with the move he used to put away Chris Evans last week.* O'Hare: "The Guinness Hangover" is another move being saved up especially for the lucky guys that win the Megadeth. You really think you have cahnce of surviving that brutal a match AND defeating Team Ireland in one night? Not a chance... And here's firther proof why...
*Donnelly picks Robbie up on his shoulders, Malone picks Donnelly with Robbie up on HIS shoulders. Liam sits atop the ringpost, holding McCann as if in a powerbomb postion. Malone leans forward slightly, allowing McCann to grab the neck of Robbie McAllister. McCann goes flipping backwards from Liam as Donnelly & Malone both fall backwards, hitting Robbie with what's best described as a "Super Electric Bread Slicer"! O'Hare gets in the ring, surveying the wreckage. He & O'Neill drag bith memners of The Highlanders to the centre of the ring & pile them on top of eachother. O'Hare stands on top of the McAllisters & gloats.* O'Hare: Let this little exhibition serve as a warning to ANYONE who opposes Team Ireland! It doesn't matter if it's Spyke Johansson, Chris Evans, The Sunshine Squad, the Dwo, or even the mighty Prophecy Reborn... Look what happened to these two idiots, let this image sink in to your brains, I want it burned into your retinas! Think of the damage we caused here, when you face us at Symphony of Destruction! *All members of Team Ireland are now back on their feet.* O'Hare: This was a sample of the carnage we are willing to unleash on you if you stand in our way. You will all learn the hard way that... All: YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!
*"Amhrán na bhFiann" plays once again & O'Hare waves the Tricolour proudly while standing on top of the bodies of The Highlanders. All the members of Team Ireland sing along to their national anthem as the crowd boos & pelts the ring with all kinds of garbage.*
[Commercial Break...]
|
|
Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,408
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 2, 2006 20:02:34 GMT -5
We come back from commercial to see Too Much in the ring, with Brian Christopher laughing at something that probably isn't really funny.
The laughing is cut short however, as "America" by Santana and P.O.D. hits and Chad Michaels comes out to cheers from the crowd. Chad slidees into the ring and doesn't even wait for the bell before hitting a running Dangerous DDT on Taylor. Christopher turns around before getting hit with the Collision Course, knocking him out cold. Taylor gets back up and tries to hit a flying dropkick, but Chad jumos and turns before hitting a reverse STO. Chad doesn't even stop before locking in the Koji Clutch and yells for Taylor to tap. Taylor doesn't last a second before tapping like crazy to the delight of the crowd.
Annoncer: Here is you winner, Chad Michaels!!
Chad: Gimme that you idiot. Now, Tooms, I don't know why you're trying to book me in handicapped matches, but I. Just. Won't. Quit. I'll continue to face any and all comers, and that includes a one Mr. Cassidy Clearwater; a.k.a. Cassinova. C-Ass, you might think you're the best thing on Earth to happen to women, but trust me you're not. And seeing as how you like to run your mouth about how great you are and how crappy the wrestlers are, how about this: Me. You. SoD. One-on-One. Eddie can't do it, so I'll take over and shut you up for good. You don't have to quote me. You just have to fear me..
"America" hits as Chad slides out of the ring while Taylor and Christopher are still on the mat, groaning from their injuries.
|
|
Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
|
Post by Indigocrates on Nov 2, 2006 21:26:03 GMT -5
*Chris Indigo is at the parking lot*
Chris Indigo: *holding a tire iron* "Spyke, I see phycological warfare as a sport, as fishing, more specifically. You can't lure out the fish without the right bait."
*Chris Indigo approaches Spyke Johannson's car, which is a mustang*
Chris Indigo *Hits windshield with tire iron* "You just have to cast out your bait, and hope for the best."
*Chris Indigo approaches driver's side of Spyke's car* "Spyke, I see you as an inferior wrestler, and an inferior man, but I think you can figure this out, and I use "You can figure this out" very loosely. This concerns Symphony of Destruction."
*smashes driver's side window with tire iron*
Indigo: *approaching back window* "Spyke, I know you just wrestled, but so did I, and yet here I am *Smashes back window with tire iron*
Indigo: "Spyke, I hope you enjoy that belt while you have it, because at Symphony of Destruction, it'll be the last time you hold that belt." *Indigo approaches passenger's window*
Indigo: *smashes passenger's window*
*Indigo drops tire iron*
Indigo: "See you at Symphony, Spyke. I look forward to winning my first title, and ending a current champion's career..." *Indigo leaves*
|
|
|
Post by Smark4lyfe on Nov 2, 2006 22:07:12 GMT -5
[Hype for SoD]
*"Unreal" is backstage with "Big" Zach*
Unreal: I'm sorry for the delay fans...
*You Suck!!!!*
I see you guys still are immature but as you see I have a match with the Buttwhackers...
*BOOOO* Well before I was in this hellzone I was in HWF!! The Hardcore Wrestling Federation!! I was a three time Hardcore champ and in SoD I will win the Hardcor-Scafold!!! Whatever!!! The point is I will come out champ! *BOOOOOOO*
Zach...am I not hardcore?
*Before Zach can say anything...*
A chair got thrown at Zach!!!!
JBL: Great.....the Batman sign for Sabu...
*Unreal startled quikly low blows Sabu and sets up the Reality Check but out of nowhere it's RVD!!!! RVD gets a chair and the Van Daminater!!*
JBL: A perfectly ruined speech....I'm sick of these ECW people!!!
*JBL gets up and heads backstage*
JR: Ol'boy I don't have a good feeling about this...
JBL: Come out you sh*t heads!
Balls Mahoony rushes out BUT here comes Chris Masters! The Blue Meanie comes and so does MVP!!! The whole ECW comes out, Sandman, Stryker, Test, Kevin Thorn, Rene Dupree and more!!
JR: It's a mass invasion!!
JBL, Masters, MVP, "Big" Zach and "Unreal" lay lifeless....
JR: What was the reason for that!!!
[Fades away and "The Navy" the movie whom includes James Kena]
|
|
|
Post by Tha Kid Joker on Nov 2, 2006 22:27:20 GMT -5
After a commercial, a segment, and another commercial, the screen fades into one of the lockerrooms backstage. Cassinova is immediately seen doing push-ups, and the crowd boos harshly, remembering Michaels' post-match promo. Cassinova ignores the obvious presence of the cameraman until Sum Guy comes walking view, looking into the camera.
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by black-mailing Safe Auto!
Cassinova stops excercising and stands behind Sum Guy, putting on his trademark cocky smirk.
Cassinova: I wouldn't admit that on camera if I were you. What are you doing here anyway?
Sum Guy: I was sent here to get your thoughts on your match at Symphony of Destruction.
Cassinova: I already told everyone what I thought about Omega after I beat that lame shark dude.
Sum Guy: Didn't you get the memo? Toom E. cancelled that match due to Omega already having a match. Instead, you're fighting "The Heartbreaker" Chad Michaels of Two Kewl.
Cassinova: Seriously? That dude that uses that weird submission move? The End or something?
Sum Guy: I think that would be Chris Evans.
Cassinova: Oh, my bad. Easy mistake to make. Then you must mean the purple Canadian dude.
Sum Guy: Uh... Chris Indigo...
Cassinova: Damn! Who in the blue hell is this guy, then?
Sum Guy: Corral's partner.
Cassinova: Oh! That square with the superkick? I'm fighting him?
Sum Guy: Yeah. Infact, I have a tape of Michaels' thoughts about you.
Cassinova: Well stop wasting time, Junior! Roll it!
Sum Guy nods and puts the tape into the VCR under the lockerroom television. The tape replays the final moments of Michaels' handicap match and his promo on Cassinova:
Taylor gets back up and tries to hit a flying dropkick, but Chad jumos and turns before hitting a reverse STO. Chad doesn't even stop before locking in the Koji Clutch and yells for Taylor to tap. Taylor doesn't last a second before tapping like crazy to the delight of the crowd.
Announcer: Here is you winner, Chad Michaels!!
Chad: Gimme that you idiot. Now, Tooms, I don't know why you're trying to book me in handicapped matches, but I. Just. Won't. Quit. I'll continue to face any and all comers, and that includes a one Mr. Cassidy Clearwater; a.k.a. Cassinova. C-Ass, you might think you're the best thing on Earth to happen to women, but trust me you're not. And seeing as how you like to run your mouth about how great you are and how crappy the wrestlers are, how about this: Me. You. SoD. One-on-One. Eddie can't do it, so I'll take over and shut you up for good. You don't have to quote me. You just have to fear me..
"America" hits as Chad slides out of the ring while Taylor and Christopher are still on the mat, groaning from their injuries.
Cut back to Sum Guy and Cassinova, who is already doubled over with laughter.
Cassinova: Wait, wait. Woah woah woah woah... so the guy with the triple rehashed gimmick and the partner who switches gimmicks--and hell, even personas-- every federation he joins wants to badmouth me? Please, I could take this mouth-breather with two arms tied behind my back, a blindfold, and five Brooklyn thugs shooting at me from ringside. Who does this guy think he is anyway? He's impersonated every wrestler who ever lived! "Ooh! We're Too Cool! No, wait, I'm Shawn Michaels! Hold on, I'm CM Punk!" If you're going to steal a gimmick, try to commit to one, Junior, alright? And as far as that "best thing on Earth to happen to women" line, you don't know how wrong you are. I'm the best thing to happen to women since the birth control pill! Just because Corral is banging Jessica while you're forced to hang back and film it doesn't mean you have to go and get all pissy at me. Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing. Not to worry though, Michaels. Once you're staring up at the arena lights, it'll feel like it was all just a dream.
Cassinova stops and smirks again. He then looks at Sum Guy.
Cassinova: And speaking of women... I have to ask, how did you manage to snag a hot chick like Candy Girl, man? Broads like that rivals even that of my league of pidgeons.
Sum Guy (using a faux 'street' voice): Well you know how a playa do...
Cass and Sum Guy laugh and low-five eachother before a high-heel shoe suddenly comes into view of the camera and smacks Sum Guy upside the head, knocking him out. Candy Girl walks into the frame, frowning, and puts her shoe back on.
Candy Girl: I'm Candy Girl, and I HATE misogyny!
With that, Candy Girl storms off, dragging an unconscious Sum Guy with her as she leaves. Cassinova looks on, and can't help but smile.
Cassinova: I'm not misogynistic! I love b****es!
Cassinova just shakes his head after his almost painfully contradicting statement and goes back to doing push-ups as the screen begins to...
FADE TO BLACK
|
|
|
Post by Ultimo Chocula on Nov 3, 2006 12:25:34 GMT -5
Lillian: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! The winner gets to pick the stipulation for the upcoming match between Rick Raskall and Ultimo Chocula at Symphony of Destruction!"
("He's So Sexy" comes on over the speakers as Rick Raskall runs out from the back and strikes a pose on the ramp, still wearing his Sexy Dynamo tights. He does the smiles and laughs to himself before saying, "I fooled you all!" as he shakes his old mask to various people in the crowd, then throws it behind him. Raskall turns and motions for someone to come out and Kane walks up next to him. Raskall motions towards the ring and says "Let's go." and the two men make their way toward the ring. Raskall jumps in over the top rope and holds his arms out, egging the crowd to give him some heat. Kane stands behind him and throws his arms down sending flames shooting from the turnbuckles. Raskall steps up on the ropes and holds his fist up, already signaling that he's coming up with the win and the stipulation."
Lillian: "Introducing first, the team of Kane and Rick Raskall!"
(As the arena goes dark "Poor And Weird" comes on and the crowd begins to cheer for a change. From out of the back comes the Undertaker giving Ultimo a piggy back ride to the ring, which gets a pretty decent reaction for how silly it looks. UC raises both arms which gets him a nice pop, which surprises UC to a degree since this has never happened. They get to the ring and UC hops off of Undertaker's back and slides under the ropes. The Undertaker stops halfway up the ring steps and raises his arms and the lights come back up. UC walks over to Lillian and whispers something in her ear. Lillian says "ok" and goes into her intro)
Lillian: "And their opponents, the team of Ultimo Chocula and The Undertaker..........................Ult-taker!"
(UC gives the thumbs up to his partner, who just stares at him. Undertaker doesn't have much of a sense of humor. The bell rings and it appears that UC and Kane are starting off.
UC locks up with Kane, which is stupid because Kane is way bigger than he is. Predictably, UC gets shoved to the mat with a thud. UC gets up and locks up again, and back down to the mat he goes. UC stands up and thinks to himself before he faces off with Kane again. Kane goes for a tie up but this time UC dropkicks Kane in the knee sending him down. UC applies a front face lock on the downed dentist and Kane begins to stand. UC keeps the hold applied as Kane gets to his feet. As Kane straightens out UC gets lifted off of his feet and is upside down when Kane gets back to his vertical base, almost like a suplex. UC, thinking fast, knees Kane a couple times in the head and Kane falls backward. UC flips over and gives Kane a neck breaker on his way down. UC hits Kane with three rapid fire elbow drops to the noggin and hits the ropes, coming down with leg drop across the neck. UC then locks in a Dragon Sleeper on Kane. Kane struggles a bit but manages to get a bridge going while still locked in the hold. UC, still with the Sleeper applied, drops Kane down across his knee for a back breaker two times then lets go and dropkicks Kane in the back. Kane stumbles over to the turnbuckles chest first and UC quickly follows up. UC springboards off the top rope and dropkicks the back of Kane's head sending his face into the buckles. UC grabs Kane and executes the Sliced Bread #2 and goes for the win. Not bad for a skinny guy, eh?
1.............. 2................
Kickout. UC tags out but the idea of Taker vs Kane yet again is boring so Kane tags out to Raskall. Ricky leaps over the top rope, and mocks Taker by raising his arms forward and doing a goofy zombie walk. This pisses off Taker (and rightfully so). Taker makes his move and Raskall sends him down with a drop toe hold then leaps over and applies a side head lock. Taker rises up and attempts to back suplex Raskall but he flips over and punches Taker in the jaw when he turns around. Raskall winds up Taker's arm then climbs up the ropes. Raskall Old School's Taker but gives him a hurricanrana instead of just whacking his arm. Raskall hits a springboard leg drop and covers.
1.............. 2...............
Kickout. The hosses are getting schooled today. Raskall picks Taker up by the hair and sends him into the ropes. Taker tries for a clothesline but Raskall ducks it and high cross bodies on the rebound. Unfortunately Taker catches him and decides to go for a fallaway slam but Raskall somehow twists out of it and armdrags Taker over instead. Pretty clever. Taker rises up and Raskall is there to boot him in the face. Raskall leaps off the second turnbuckle and hits a Flipping Stunner on Taker. He goes for the win again.
1............ 2..............
Kickout. Raskall gives Taker a Fameasser and signals to the crowd he's going to end it. Raskall climbs up the top for his Raskall House Special but Taker sits up all zombie like and looks at Raskall. Taker stands and walks over to Raskall on the buckles before he can do anything. He grabs Raskall by the throat and before he can do anything Kane runs in and forearms his...."ahem".......brother in the back. Taker turns and he forearms Kane, who turns and forearms Taker, who turns and forearms Kane, who turns and forearms Taker, who turns and.......right. UC gets bored of watching this crap and blind tags himself in as Kane and Taker continue pummeling each other and eventually fall through the ropes to the floor where they continue to just punch and all that crap.
UC runs over to Raskall, who has since left the buckles of course, and clotheslines him down to the mat. Raskall gets up as UC goes for a dropkick but Raskall bats him aside. UC hits the deck and Raskall elbows him in the neck. Raskall sends UC into the ropes and hits a Tilt A Whirl Backbreaker. Raskall follows up with a Standing SSP but UC rolls out of the way and Raskall belly flops on the mat. UC hits Raskall with a Release Northern Lights Suplex and follows it up with the Ghetto Blaster. UC goes for a brainbuster but Raskall blocks it and hits a snap suplex on UC. Raskall turns and attempts to lock in a Sharpshooter but UC fights him off. Raskall has ahold of one leg but UC manages to push him off with the other and Raskall lands on the mat. UC kips up as Raskall stands and he attempts a spinning heel kick. Raskall ducks it and UC lands on the mat. UC stands and turns just in time for Raskall to spear him. UC grabs his stomach in pain as Raskall scoops him up. Raskall attempts a Tornado DDT but UC shoves him off. As Raskall attempts to recover UC hits a Shellshock on him. UC bounds up to the top turnbuckles and leaps off, landing on Raskall with a Knee Sault. UC grabs Raskall's legs and attempts to put him in a Boston Crab but Raskall is refusing to roll over. Suddenly Raskall reaches up and small packages UC.
1............. 2....................
Kickout. UC picks Raskall up but Raskall slaps his hands away and hits a belly to belly overhead suplex. Raskall hits the ropes and comes down with a senton right on UC's chest. Raskall picks UC up and attempts a power bomb but UC uses the momentum to roll Raskall up in a sunset flip.
1........... 2................
Raskall kicks out. Meanwhile Wingus and buddy are still throwing hams at each other on the outside.
Raskall lifts a knee right into UC stomach and follows with a Fameasser. Raskall signals to the crowd that he's going up to the top and he begins to climb the buckles. Raskall gets to the top and sees that UC is slowly starting to stand up. Raskall waits for UC to get to his vertical base and leaps off but UC jumps up and dropkicks Raskall in the stomach in mid air and both men crash down on the mat. After a few moments UC stirs and gets up first. Raskall starts to stand but UC beats him to it hits him with a Shining Wizard. UC lifts up Raskall and places him up on the top turnbuckle and then climbs up himself. UC signals for the Super Sugar Fix, which has never been done before so get those VCR's rolling! UC gets Raskall in the front face lock but Raskall starts to fight back. The two men trade blows on the top turnbuckles as Kane and Taker finally roll back into the ring to continue their fight.
Now bear with me on this next paragraph.
Taker gives Kane a boot in the stomach and a punch in the mush that dizzies Kane up a bit. UC turns and sees this and gives Raskall and eye rake just to shut him up. UC waits for Kane to stand up and UC leaps off with a moonsault just as Taker comes in to finish Kane off. Kane suddenly dodges out of the way and UC is caught upside down by the startled Taker who gives his own partner a Tombstone out of sheer reflex. Taker looks down and sees what he did but it's too late. Before Taker can do anything else Kane body tackles him and they both go out to the floor yet again. Raskall recovers and sees UC on the mat layed out. Raskall leaps off and lands the Raskall House Special and hooks the leg.)
1............... 2.............. 3!
Lillian: "Here are your winners, Rick Raskall and Kane!"
(Raskall rolls out of the ring and backs up the ramp with his arm raised, smiling all the way. Marcus Trunk comes out from the back and the two high five each other as Raskall taunts members of the crowd. Meanwhile in the ring UC recovers slightly and picks his head up enough to see Raskall celebrating on the ramp. He just shakes his head and says, "sonuva *BEEP!*" before slumping back to the mat .
Kane and Taker are still pummeling each other outside the ring.)
|
|
|
Post by Rick Raskall on Nov 3, 2006 14:55:08 GMT -5
NOW YOU'RE MESSIN' WITH A...A SON OF A B**** (now you're messin' with a son of a b****...)
The familiar strains of "Hair of the Dog" blast throughout the arena as the returning Raskall and Trunk come through the curtain, with unexpected chants of "Welcome Back" chanted in their direction. Raskall and Trunk nod in approval, and soak in the fans' applause.
Raskall: Now that's more like it! It's been a long time since we've been cheered like this in EWT! Hell, it's probably the first time we've been cheered in EWT! But that doesn't matter, because we're back and ready to take on the best that the tag team division has to offer!
The crowd cheers again.
Raskall: Now on to current business. Recently I won a Choose Your Stipulation tag match against Ultimo Chocula, and I get to choose the stipulation for our match at Symphony of Destruction. So me and Trunk put our heads together, and we came up with an idea that's not only excellent, but it's perfectly befitting to my persona. Ladies and Gentlemen, for the very first time, at Symphony of Destruction, you will bear witness to the first ever Celebrity Circle Match!
The fans look on in puzzlement.
Raskall: And what's a Celebrity Circle Match, you might ask? It's exactly like a lumberjack match, but instead of wrestlers, the lumberjacks are Hollywood celebrities! And who knows more about Hollywood celebrities than me? Being from Los Angeles and hanging around with as many celebrities as I do, I've got tons of backup. And I've carefully selected five of the to names in Hollywood today. So without further ado, allow me to introduce the five men who will be representing me in the Celebrity Circle Match:
From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, former star of "That 70s Show", a former underwear model, and a man almost as pretty as me, Ashton Kutcher!
Ashton Kutcher comes through the curtain to a mixed response, consisting mostly of girls screaming and guys groaning.
Ashton: Yeah! Rick Raskall, ma boy! This is gonna be AWESOME!
Raskall: From New Rochelle, New York, former WCW star...
The crowd rises in anticipation.
Raskall: ...and current host of the Tonight Show, Jay Leno!
The Tonight Show theme plays as Jay Leno comes through the curtain. The crowd dies down. He comes down to ringside and shakes hands with people in the front row, as he usually does.
Jay: Hey everybody, we're gonna have a terrific show. Symphony of Destruction this Sunday, it's gonna be great. Don't miss it!
Raskall: From Washington, D.C., he was the star of one of the biggest movie flops of the summer, but that's okay 'cause we love him, Samuel L. Jackson!
Samuel L. Jackson comes through the curtain. The crowd raucously cheers him and starts chanting "Snakes On A Plane! Snakes On A Plane! Snakes On A Plane!". Jackson rolls his eyes as he enters the ring.
SLJ: Hello everybody. It's good to be here.
Raskall: Come on, say it.
SLJ: No.
Raskall: Come on, that's part of the reason we brought you out here.
SLJ: I'm not doing it.
Raskall: Apparently Mr. Jackson seems to have forgotten the big fat check we're going to give him for this appearance...
SLJ: Okay, okay, damn! (sighs, takes a deep breath) I have had it with these mutha****in' snakes on this mutha****in' plane!
The crowd erupts into cheers, as Jackson rolls his eyes.
SLJ: Damn!
Raskall: That wasn't so hard, now was it? Okay then, back to business.
From Hong Kong, the martial arts master, the man who singlehandedly carried Chris Tucker through two, yes TWO movies, Jackie Chan!
Jackie Chan comes through the curtain to modest applause. Raskall shakes his hand.
Raskall: Thanks Jackie, great to have you here.
And finally, Rick Raskall's final celebrity lumberjack in the Celebrity Circle Match, the Top Gun, the man of Risky Business, get ready to "show him the money", he is the kingfish of Scientology, Mister Tom Cruise, everybody!!
...
...
Raskall: Mister Tom Cruise, everybody!
Tom Cruise does not emerge from the curtain.
Raskall: Dammit, what happened to Tom Cruise? Does anybody know where he went?
Just then, the ToomiTron turns on, showing Chad Michaels, still impatiently waiting in front of a closet.
Chad Michaels: I hope you don't mind waiting, Rick. Because Tom Cruise STILL won't come out of the closet.
Raskall: Oh come on! You've got to be kidding me! Can I get sound in there? Tom, can you hear me?
Tom Cruise (in the closet): What do you want?
Raskall: I want you to come out of the closet!
Tom Cruise: But I'm not in the closet.
Raskall: Yes you are, I can hear you.
John Travolta: Tom Cruise ain't in the closet, ohmygyaah...
Raskall: Wait a minute, John Travolta? You're in the closet too?
R. Kelly: Tom Cruise ain't in the closeeettt...
Raskall: You have got to be kidding me. You guys, come out of the closet!
Cruise, Travolta, Kelly: We're not coming out of the closet, you can just go awaaayyy...
Raskall: Seriously, you're ruining my rep!
C,T,K: That's just fine 'cause we're gonna staaayyy...
Raskall: Oh, that's just wonderful. Now, I'm gonna be down a man for the match.
Trunk motions for the microphone.
Trunk: Hold it, Rick. I got an idea.
Raskall: Aw, come on. What could be better than Tom Cruise?
Trunk: He's a big Hollywood name. I don't know if we can get him on short notice, but I'm gonna try my best to get him.
Raskall: You sure he's the right man for the job?
Trunk: Aw man, trust me. You know I wouldn't let you down.
Raskall: All right! Ladies and gentlemen, all is not lost. We will have a fifth man for the Celebrity Circle Match, and we promise he'll be the biggest deal to hit EWT since...well, Raskall and Trunk! Now if you'll excuse us, it's time to plan our strategy. And Ultimo, since you don't have the connections I do, good luck throwing together your team. Until Sunday...
Raskall and Trunk, along with their celebrity calvacade, leave the ring.
|
|
Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
|
Post by Ass Dan on Nov 3, 2006 15:38:57 GMT -5
Klepacki’s Hell March hits the PA system, and boos emanate from the crowd.
WE WANT WAR! WAKE UP!
Joe One appears from behind the curtain to a chorus of boos. He shows no emotion as he walks to the ring. Flames blaze from the set as the marching stops and metal plays.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following no disqualification match is scheduled for one fall. Entering the ring, from Airstrip One, weighing in at 234 lbs., Joe One!
Joe walks into the ring and wrings his wrists. The lights go down, Spider Baby starts playing, and the crowd goes off.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Amityville, New York, weighing in at 213 lbs., “Creepshow” Curtis Quinn!
Quinn runs down the aisle and immediately strikes One with a Thesz Press!
*ding ding ding*
Quinn gets off of One as the crowd starts a ‘Creepshow’ chant. Quinn hits a standing Moonsault and goes for an early pin!
1!
2!
Kickout at 2.5! Quinn picks One up and Irish Whips him, which One reverses. One tries to hit the Airstrip Kiss, but Quinn grabs the ropes before contact is made. So One just slugs him. Quinn lets go of the ropes as the referee tells One that closed-fisted punches aren’t allowed. They always say that, but it means squat.
As Curtis Quinn tries to recover from a big ol’ punch, Joe One puts him in the Cobra Clutch, and hits a Cobra Clutch bulldog! One stands up, but decides not to cover him. Instead he goes outside the ring. He looks under the ring for something…
“1!” the ref shouts, as this is only a no-DQ match, not a hardcore match.
One stops his search and pulls out a table. He slides in the ring, but Quinn has recovered from the bulldog and tackles One, sending the table across the ring, still unfolded. The two trade chops, but Quinn gets the upper hand, and picks up One in the Fisherman’s Suplex, walks to the ring post, and hits the Last Suplex on the Left on One!
However, he doesn’t go for the pin. Instead, he goes outside the ring. He goes under the ring and pulls out…a ladder! Quinn slides back in to the ring, while One is regaining composure. Quinn hits him with the ladder. Creepshow sets up the ladder and slowly climbs up. The crowd is on their feet! He’s at the top of the ladder, and…
WAIT! Maelstorm runs into the ring and pushes the ladder over! The crowd is booing their lungs out! Joe One realises what is going on and is agast.
Maelstorm has a look of smug satisfaction as he props up the table. He goes outside the ring and picks up Quinn, throwing him in the ring. The crowd is in disgust. Maelstorm puts Quinn on the table and gets on it himself. He picks Creepshow up, and hits the Whirlpool through the table! The audience starts to throw garbage at Maelstorm! Suddenly, Maelstorm and Joe One look at one another. After what feels like an hour, the two hug to huge heat. One covers Quinn, and the ref reluctantly makes the count along with Maelstorm.
1!
2!
3!
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here is your winner, Joe One!
Maelstorm raises One's hand as the audience is agape at the injustice of what happened. Well, it is a No DQ match, so it was legal. One walks to the back as Maelstrom yells at Quinn, pointing at his belt.
**BREIF COMMERCIAL BREAK**
|
|