nealo
Unicron
BRING IT BACK!!
Posts: 3,166
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Post by nealo on Dec 14, 2008 19:31:09 GMT -5
inspired by 'lets talk like marks', 'lets tlak like anti-marks' ,'lets talk like Snitsky' etc. talk as if you were one of the McMahons or WWE Creative.
for example:
Who cares if Scotty Goldman is funny and enterianing, that was his indy days, no wrestling fan really likes indie promotions.
Lets have Triple H have the main storyline and World Chmapionship this season.
the fans wont get tired of Batista and John Cena headlining all the PPVs
As long as the kid like Hornswaggle, we'll keep him on TV
No-one cares about Snitsky
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Lara
Don Corleone
IS A SWEETHEART
Posts: 1,292
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Post by Lara on Dec 14, 2008 19:46:15 GMT -5
"I'm pregnant"
"Let's do an incest angle"
"Let's have Rey go over Kozlov. And Kane. In the same match"
"Batista should get a title shot"
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Post by Reptar on Dec 14, 2008 19:57:06 GMT -5
John Laurinitas: Mr. McMahon, we have a problem. The Insane Clown Posse say that they are going to invade RAW next week.
McMahon: Who are the Insane Clown Posse?
Laurinitas: A rap group from Detroit. They say them and Scott Hall...
McMahon: Who's Scott Hall?
Laurinitas: ...Scott Hall. You know, Razor Ramon?
McMahon: Oh, THAT guy. When did he change his name?
Laurinitas: ...1996. You remember, him and Kevin Nash went to WCW.
McMahon: What's WCW?
Laurinitas: Mr. McMahon...you seriously don't remember? WCW was the wrestling promotion run by Ted Turner that formed in 1988.
McMahon: It's 1988 already?
Laurinitas: No...Mr. McMahon, it's...it's 2008.
Shane McMahon: Dad, are you alright?
McMahon: Who the f*** are you? Why are all of you in my house? Get the f*** out of here before I call the police! It's 1988 if I say it's 1988, damn it! WELCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW! WHAT-A-MANEUVER! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY! YOOOOUUUUU'RE FIIIIIRREEEEED! NO CHANCE, SUCKA THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT! NOW TIE A STRING AROUND FINGER NOW BOY, CUZ IT'S, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME!
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Post by Mehe is F'n hardcore. on Dec 14, 2008 19:59:03 GMT -5
John Laurinitas: Mr. McMahon, we have a problem. The Insane Clown Posse say that they are going to invade RAW next week. McMahon: Who are the Insane Clown Posse? Laurinitas: A rap group from Detroit. They say them and Scott Hall... McMahon: Who's Scott Hall? Laurinitas: ...Scott Hall. You know, Razor Ramon? McMahon: Oh, THAT guy. When did he change his name? Laurinitas: ...1996. You remember, him and Kevin Nash went to WCW. McMahon: What's WCW? Laurinitas: Mr. McMahon...you seriously don't remember? WCW was the wrestling promotion run by Ted Turner that formed in 1988. McMahon: It's 1988 already? Laurinitas: No...Mr. McMahon, it's...it's 2008. Shane McMahon: Dad, are you alright? McMahon: Who the snork are you? Why are all of you in my house? Get the snork out of here before I call the police! It's 1988 if I say it's 1988, damn it! WELCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW! WHAT-A-MANEUVER! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY! YOOOOUUUUU'RE FIIIIIRREEEEED! NO CHANCE, SUCKA THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT! NOW TIE A STRING AROUND FINGER NOW BOY, CUZ IT'S, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME! Gold.
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Bub (BLM)
Patti Mayonnaise
advocates duck on rodent violence
Fed. Up.
Posts: 37,742
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Post by Bub (BLM) on Dec 14, 2008 20:08:05 GMT -5
"So, you've made quite the name for yourself before we hired you. Name's got a nice ring to it, really marketable. And you have a great look, the tights and the hair are really distinct. So anyway, get a buzzcut and wear some black trunks, change your name to John Brown, and you'll be ready to debut on SmackDown."
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Lancers
El Dandy
Oh you
Posts: 7,951
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Post by Lancers on Dec 14, 2008 20:14:53 GMT -5
Vince: "I'm getting a little concerned about the product. Any suggestions?"
Johnny Ace: "You want me to hire more divas?"
Vince: "How would that help the product?"
Johnny Ace: "Help what now?"
Steph: "The answer is simple. Let's do market research analysis and see what the WWE Universe likes."
*looks at research analysis*
Steph: "It says here that the fans, oops, I mean the WWE Universe would like to see wrestlers face real-life problems like the ones they face every day."
*Vince nods in agreement*
Steph: "...but it also says they want to see wrestlers do just the opposite like getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers."
Vince: "So they want a realistic, down-to-earth show that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots?"
Steph: "They also want to win things by watching."
*Vince lowers his head and quietly leaves the office*
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Post by ultimatekennedy on Dec 14, 2008 23:58:59 GMT -5
This interview is off the chart!!
from the Seth Mates interview.
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Dec 15, 2008 0:02:14 GMT -5
Great Khali goooooooood. Me push him main event.
Me no like CM Punk. We make job in doghouse.
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Post by moneyman on Dec 15, 2008 0:16:39 GMT -5
Lets all put on a good show for the fans that is what our business is about actually....
I know some of our fans are critical of us not pushing new talent so lets give the belt to CM Punk he has a cult following.
Jeff Hardy has really worked hard to get over and the crowd is respnding lets give him a chance to run with the belt
Miz and Morrison are really over as heels lets give them the tag belts and as not to disappoint CM Punks fans lets put him in a program with the Intercontinental Title.
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Post by salsashark on Dec 15, 2008 0:26:53 GMT -5
Lets all put on a good show for the fans that is what our business is about actually.... I know some of our fans are critical of us not pushing new talent so lets give the belt to CM Punk he has a cult following. Jeff Hardy has really worked hard to get over and the crowd is respnding lets give him a chance to run with the belt Miz and Morrison are really over as heels lets give them the tag belts and as not to disappoint CM Punks fans lets put him in a program with the Intercontinental Title. Unbridled optimism deserves a "BOO THIS MAN!" GIF.
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Post by moneyman on Dec 15, 2008 0:30:31 GMT -5
Lets all put on a good show for the fans that is what our business is about actually.... I know some of our fans are critical of us not pushing new talent so lets give the belt to CM Punk he has a cult following. Jeff Hardy has really worked hard to get over and the crowd is respnding lets give him a chance to run with the belt Miz and Morrison are really over as heels lets give them the tag belts and as not to disappoint CM Punks fans lets put him in a program with the Intercontinental Title. Unbridled optimism deserves a "BOO THIS MAN!" GIF. You are dead inside are you not??? Must be fun to be cynical all the time.
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Post by kittylimits on Dec 15, 2008 0:35:50 GMT -5
"Eh. I'm bored, been doing this too long.
Steph, have the big guys beat up the small ones who are loved every week but make sure the small ones come out on top. Yes, Triple H is a big guy, but he's well liked so he should get beat up to get a nicer payoff.
What, Brian? I'm sorry, I know we don't exactly have the coolest bunch as our fans, but I don't think a D&D character would particularly work. *sigh* Whatever, Brian. Just write it and let me see it first.
Listen, Michael... you can't do that with Shelton... I don't care how much heat you think it would rise, there is a such thing as too much heat... No, MVP neither. Certainly not R Truth. Hayes, man. Don't even think about offering the suggestion over to the ECW guys for Mark Henry. Oh my.
Anyone know if The Rock returned my phone call yet? Anyone?
Where's Shane? Hungover again? Why must that boy feel the need to out drink all the boys, every night... Well, he does great work in Global Media, I shouldn't complain.
Oh - Keep pushing our DVDs and 24/7 - basically anything that the nostalgia fans will pay money for. They'll keep me in my Florida mansion every weekend.
I'm going to bed."
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Lancers
El Dandy
Oh you
Posts: 7,951
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Post by Lancers on Dec 15, 2008 0:58:50 GMT -5
Shane: "Are you guys sure it was a good idea to put the world title on Jeff Hardy?"
Vince: "THE GUY LOST HIS PUPPY IN A FIRE SHANE!!!! DON'T YOU HAVE A SOUL?"
Shane: "You let Pat Patterson borrow my hamster Fluffy when I was 12 and I never got him back. Where's my world title dad?"
Vince: "Totally different situations. First off, I didn't know what Pat was gonna do with the hamster. When he said he was going to shove it up his ass, I thought it was a figure of speech. I didn't know he meant that literally. Secondly, I bought you a turtle a week later so quit your bellyaching."
Shane: "BUT I DIDN'T WANT THE TURTLE!"
Vince: "Yeah well life sucks I guess."
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Post by salsashark on Dec 15, 2008 1:15:54 GMT -5
Unbridled optimism deserves a "BOO THIS MAN!" GIF. You are dead inside are you not??? Must be fun to be cynical all the time. Wow, take it easy. I was being sarcastic. The was the giveaway.
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Post by Mr. Nice on Dec 15, 2008 1:30:46 GMT -5
Vince: Okay, armageddon is just finished and we need new ideas for storylines
Stephanie: Okay Dad, how about we log onto some of these internet forums and see what they want?
Vince: Who?
Stephanie: The fans
Vince: FANS?!, I HATE THAT WORD, CALL IT THE WWE UNIVERSE, THE WWE UNIVERSE DAMN IT!
Stephanie: Okay, Sorry. WWE Universe.
Vince: Thats better!
Stephanie: I hear theres this forum that celebrates the worst of wrestling, can't think of the name though
*Batista walks by*
Stephanie: Oh, i just remembered!, Wrestlecrap!, they photoshop pictures of Batista and make up brilliant ideas such as Kane stripping Ric in his last match and burning his attire in a trashcan!
Batista: Eh? What pics are you talking about?
Stephanie: Well, there was one of Cody Rhodes giving Ted DiBiase a blowjob while you were sitting in the crowd shouting
Vince: Whats a blowjob?
Batista: Not only is that innapropriate, its not allowed. SEND ME THE LINK
Vince: WHATS A BLOWJOB DAMN IT?!?!
Stephanie: *sigh* Where is Tammy Lynn Sytch when you need her?
Batista: I don't know about Tammy Lynn Sytch but did you hear about this new chick I...
Vince: Who's Tammy Lynn Sytch?
Stephanie: You know, the blonde with the big boobs that basically screwed the whole roster?
Vince: Trish Stratus?
Stephanie: No dad, Tammy, Tammy Lynn
Batista: COME ON VINCE!, I MEAN, ITS ONLY THE ONE FEMALE EMPLOYEE THAT I HAVEN'T GOT MY BALLS INTO!
Vince: OHHHH!, Sunny damn it, Sunny.
Stephanie: How could you forget about Sunny?
Vince: Why didn't you just say the blonde with the dead husband damn it?!
Stephanie: But I...
Vince: THATS IT!, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
*Stephanie goes to her room*
Batista: Heh heh heh.
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littlenaitch
Dennis Stamp
Stylin' and Profilin'
Hall of Famer!!
Posts: 4,160
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Post by littlenaitch on Dec 15, 2008 4:17:21 GMT -5
These are awesome, keep em coming.
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sloride
Unicron
Doesn't Suck Up. Or Does She?
The Greatest Entertainer to have ever Lived
Posts: 3,196
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Post by sloride on Dec 15, 2008 5:34:51 GMT -5
Steph=You know what's really popular at the moment, The Dark Knight. Let's incorporate some of the Joker characteristics into say, Edge. Vince=What? What is this 'Light Knight' you speak of? Steph=Dark Knight dad. Vince=Right. And what the hell is a 'joker'. Steph-You know, Batman. Vince=Oh I see, Batman! You know I saw the Batman Forever film the other day. Good film.............. Steph=Dad! Vince=Oh right, sorry about that. What the hell is Batman?
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,024
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 15, 2008 13:24:16 GMT -5
Vince: "I'm telling you, our truck driver weighs 300 pounds, he should be world champion."
Stephanie: "That guy is 50 years old and has never wrestled a day in his life."
Vince: "Damn it! Lets wish somebody well in their future endevours for the heck of it."
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Lancers
El Dandy
Oh you
Posts: 7,951
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Post by Lancers on Dec 15, 2008 13:32:07 GMT -5
Vince: "So what's Marty Jannetty been up to?"
Steph: "NO DAD!"
Vince: "What? Can't I just ask a simple question?"
Steph: "No because we all know how this turns out. You ask what he's up to. Then you ask if anyone's got his phone number. Then you call him and talk to them for three hours. Then you give us this speech on how you think he's turned things around for real this time. Then we sign him to a contract. Then we fire him days later because he was caught snorting what he thought was cocaine, but turned out was dishwasher detergent."
Vince: "Nahhhh. The last time it was confectionary sugar."
Johnny Ace: "I thought it was powdered sugar?"
Vince: "It's the same thing you nitwit."
Steph: "It is?"
Vince: "Yeah. Sugar is sugar."
Johnny Ace: "No it's not! What about brown sugar?"
Michael Hayes: "I HATE BROWN SUGAR!!!"
Vince: "Speaking of brown sugar....does anybody have Marty Jannetty's phone number?"
Steph: "DAMMIT DAD!"
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Post by Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone on Dec 15, 2008 13:36:02 GMT -5
Vince: I am a little disturbed at that last comedy segment.
Stephanie: Which one?
Vince: That one where Goldust, Boogeyman, and Ron Simmons did stuff.
Stephanie: Oh THAT one! I loved that one time we had a comedy segment like that. Anyway what was disturbing about it?
Vince: Michael Cole didn't laugh enough. How are fans gonna know something's funny if Michael Cole doesn't laugh hysterically?
Stephanie: What do you mean by "fans"? Are you talking about those electrical devices that blow cold air?
Vince: Yeah. How are they gonna know when something's funny?
Shane: I agree Dad. I'm concerned that blenders don't get our comedy either.
Kung Fu Naki: I have a new idea for my character. I need a catchphrase! I'm thinking "Ancient Chinese Secret". I mean I'm actually Japanese, but I don't want to bust any balls here.
Vince: No problem Taka, we'll start mass producing your T-shirts right away.
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