Post by GuyOfOwnage on Dec 27, 2008 0:54:12 GMT -5
And once more, Canada's very own The Score brings you closed captions for WWE Smackdown, which I was actually in attendance for this week. As always, the naughty bits are censored to comply with board rules.
Please welcome Auli H! The Cade, Triple H, makes his way to the ring. He was a dwell time UW Champion. He is the Cereal Assassin. He is the measuring sticky E. The champion, Jeff Sardine, will face the Eggshell in the main event. We are rick role. We are north to doubt him with a sledgehammer in his hand. He says there are certain things you don't do, like pulling the mask from the Load Ranger. The undy Russian got involved in a notice wall of Asian Triple Threat match. It's dry to tee shot. The Game will put his pound of flesh into Kozlov. Suddenly, we hear the words "Ohhh Chop Off", and Calvo Guerreiro enters. He says to Triple H, "Vickie is not having you", and warns him not to so much as lay one finger in Kozlov. If he does, he will never compete for the Divas Championship again. He says that this isn't Raw, it's Smacked Down, and here, Mickey calls the shots. Triple H says Chavo has become an error boy. He says he is a chauffeur boy. Vickie enters, and Triple H repeatedly identifies her as a man, using the pronoun "he" repeatedly. Vickie says in regards to Chavo, "He has learned from my breast". She follows up, "You are Cha going to go one on one againstvo". Chavo has downloaded the talent. The Key made this match. Trip Rolovich will face Cabell. He is now exposing her buthole. Chavo, following in the footsteps of his uncle, was trying to lie on cheap steel. There is no scaling bypass buying Oscar. Triple H defeats Chavo after a Parratt Agree. The winner of the match is Trip Well H. But it's not over yet. He hits Ray in the sternum with a spinebuster.
Later tonight, Marines will take on Michelle Muckle for the Divas Championship. Ken Helms has capitalized on a golden opportunity and will face Shelton Benjamin.
We are back on Friday Night Smacked Down. Introducing first, the Upper Stages Champion, Benjamin Holt! Introducing a bad challenger, Hurricane Helms! Helms underwent Rehabitation surgery. Rick Lee Steamboat held the United States title. He knocked off his hat. Tazz thinks Sheldon may be in The Game tonight. We see bank balance by the challenger. Shelton Benjamin's spine bursts in the middle of the match. Shelton Benjamin Richard is looking for a three saw. He bought him a sign. The native title wellness was added. Helms uses A Nightmare on Elm Street to try and gain victory. Unfortunately, it does not work out for Hurristain Helms. He tries his Shiny Blizzard, to which Tazz says "Did you see Impact?" The Old Standard wins the match with the Pay Her. That was account of a match. He did not happen.
In a replay of Armageddon, prior to Hardy's match-winning Swanton, Jim Ross cries out "The game six competitor he!" By winning the title, Jeff Hardy has went from enema to Ipod.
In Hardy's backstage promo, he says "A one giant screw and I scream!"
The Brian Kendrick is accompanied He Make Me Squeel. Kendrick weighs 984 pounds. When the Colons and the Bellas are seen backstage, Primo says, "So, Carlito, are you going to f*** us?" The words "I spit in the face of penis who don't want to" are heard, signifying Carlito's entrance. He is accompanied by Primeau, as well as Nicky and Paris Bella. Jim Ross calls him a mark. Jim Ross says, "Carlito knows he's better than I." Carlito wins with the Back Stab Her. Get her a catcher's Kendrick.
In a Tribute to the Troops package, George W. Bush says, "Dubya Dubya knows our troops are the finest eight year citizens." World Wrestling Containment entertains the troops overseas. God bless the United Kingdom of America.
Edge says Jeff Hardy is the Deputy Champion. He shouldn't be representing the Beauty Championship. The Big Show walks in and says "I was penetrating your wife, it was strictly business."
Michelle McCool tells Maria backstage that they've fought a lot recently, but that's what girlfriends do, so RB cool.
The special guest rate for this match is Maria. Introducing first, Clarice! And her opponent, the Deivid Champion, Michelle Cole! She is defending the title against Marie's. The guest referee is What He, who is doing a great job so far. They were all present jerking for the Troops. Maryse is a tadpole. Maria is officiating rate down the middle. Michelle hits a snap manor on the number one contender. She uses a serious mood real rake. There is some Matt mouthing from the Flroida state semen hall. Maureece wins the title. When McCool turns on Maria, Jim Ross says, "How hot". She uses a kick McRibs.
A video package promotes the return of Umaga. He is Da Randy Savage. We see a Samoans Bike rate to the throat. Can anyone spot Umaga? Jim Ross wonders who will be the first gender of Umaga.
MVP faces The Great Khali, who stands at 7 football. Tazz says, "At least this isn't one of Khali's kids camps." MVP was one of the longest reigning Intercontinental Champions ever. He lost a Great Tally right before the Survivor Series. The update plot of The Great Tally. Tally Khali slam seals MVP. Minister Kennedy comes out to promote Behind Enemy Lines Colorado.
The Moscow Brawler is seen making his way through the backstage area.
The beginning of Kozlov's theme says, "Please step on my balls". The Moscow Caller will face Jimmy Wank Yang. Kozlov wins the match using the Batarang. He gets on the mic afterwards and says, "I will be chink man". Ross says he is obviously talking about the 13 man Royal Rumble.
The Raw Rebound encourages us to download John Segra's ring tone at WWF.com. Batista was put out after a bum to the head by Randy Orton.
Rent Hardy will now face The Bugs Show. Before the match, Show shouts at Hardy, "I will put my hands inside you, right". In regards to Edge vs. Big Show next week, Jim Ross says, "That is a massive penis information right there." The Big Show is scribing on his Hardy. Jeff Hardy is in the Big Show shower. He goes for the Swanton Thong, but it fails. The Big Show won't give head. After a countout victory, Jeff's father Matt joins him to celebrate. Backstage, Vickie tells Edge that now that the Barbies are both champions, they need some competition. She says that they will face Edge and The Bisch Show next week.
And that is all for this week's Smackdown closed captions. You know the drill by now - check in Monday after Raw for more closed caption craziness.
Please welcome Auli H! The Cade, Triple H, makes his way to the ring. He was a dwell time UW Champion. He is the Cereal Assassin. He is the measuring sticky E. The champion, Jeff Sardine, will face the Eggshell in the main event. We are rick role. We are north to doubt him with a sledgehammer in his hand. He says there are certain things you don't do, like pulling the mask from the Load Ranger. The undy Russian got involved in a notice wall of Asian Triple Threat match. It's dry to tee shot. The Game will put his pound of flesh into Kozlov. Suddenly, we hear the words "Ohhh Chop Off", and Calvo Guerreiro enters. He says to Triple H, "Vickie is not having you", and warns him not to so much as lay one finger in Kozlov. If he does, he will never compete for the Divas Championship again. He says that this isn't Raw, it's Smacked Down, and here, Mickey calls the shots. Triple H says Chavo has become an error boy. He says he is a chauffeur boy. Vickie enters, and Triple H repeatedly identifies her as a man, using the pronoun "he" repeatedly. Vickie says in regards to Chavo, "He has learned from my breast". She follows up, "You are Cha going to go one on one againstvo". Chavo has downloaded the talent. The Key made this match. Trip Rolovich will face Cabell. He is now exposing her buthole. Chavo, following in the footsteps of his uncle, was trying to lie on cheap steel. There is no scaling bypass buying Oscar. Triple H defeats Chavo after a Parratt Agree. The winner of the match is Trip Well H. But it's not over yet. He hits Ray in the sternum with a spinebuster.
Later tonight, Marines will take on Michelle Muckle for the Divas Championship. Ken Helms has capitalized on a golden opportunity and will face Shelton Benjamin.
We are back on Friday Night Smacked Down. Introducing first, the Upper Stages Champion, Benjamin Holt! Introducing a bad challenger, Hurricane Helms! Helms underwent Rehabitation surgery. Rick Lee Steamboat held the United States title. He knocked off his hat. Tazz thinks Sheldon may be in The Game tonight. We see bank balance by the challenger. Shelton Benjamin's spine bursts in the middle of the match. Shelton Benjamin Richard is looking for a three saw. He bought him a sign. The native title wellness was added. Helms uses A Nightmare on Elm Street to try and gain victory. Unfortunately, it does not work out for Hurristain Helms. He tries his Shiny Blizzard, to which Tazz says "Did you see Impact?" The Old Standard wins the match with the Pay Her. That was account of a match. He did not happen.
In a replay of Armageddon, prior to Hardy's match-winning Swanton, Jim Ross cries out "The game six competitor he!" By winning the title, Jeff Hardy has went from enema to Ipod.
In Hardy's backstage promo, he says "A one giant screw and I scream!"
The Brian Kendrick is accompanied He Make Me Squeel. Kendrick weighs 984 pounds. When the Colons and the Bellas are seen backstage, Primo says, "So, Carlito, are you going to f*** us?" The words "I spit in the face of penis who don't want to" are heard, signifying Carlito's entrance. He is accompanied by Primeau, as well as Nicky and Paris Bella. Jim Ross calls him a mark. Jim Ross says, "Carlito knows he's better than I." Carlito wins with the Back Stab Her. Get her a catcher's Kendrick.
In a Tribute to the Troops package, George W. Bush says, "Dubya Dubya knows our troops are the finest eight year citizens." World Wrestling Containment entertains the troops overseas. God bless the United Kingdom of America.
Edge says Jeff Hardy is the Deputy Champion. He shouldn't be representing the Beauty Championship. The Big Show walks in and says "I was penetrating your wife, it was strictly business."
Michelle McCool tells Maria backstage that they've fought a lot recently, but that's what girlfriends do, so RB cool.
The special guest rate for this match is Maria. Introducing first, Clarice! And her opponent, the Deivid Champion, Michelle Cole! She is defending the title against Marie's. The guest referee is What He, who is doing a great job so far. They were all present jerking for the Troops. Maryse is a tadpole. Maria is officiating rate down the middle. Michelle hits a snap manor on the number one contender. She uses a serious mood real rake. There is some Matt mouthing from the Flroida state semen hall. Maureece wins the title. When McCool turns on Maria, Jim Ross says, "How hot". She uses a kick McRibs.
A video package promotes the return of Umaga. He is Da Randy Savage. We see a Samoans Bike rate to the throat. Can anyone spot Umaga? Jim Ross wonders who will be the first gender of Umaga.
MVP faces The Great Khali, who stands at 7 football. Tazz says, "At least this isn't one of Khali's kids camps." MVP was one of the longest reigning Intercontinental Champions ever. He lost a Great Tally right before the Survivor Series. The update plot of The Great Tally. Tally Khali slam seals MVP. Minister Kennedy comes out to promote Behind Enemy Lines Colorado.
The Moscow Brawler is seen making his way through the backstage area.
The beginning of Kozlov's theme says, "Please step on my balls". The Moscow Caller will face Jimmy Wank Yang. Kozlov wins the match using the Batarang. He gets on the mic afterwards and says, "I will be chink man". Ross says he is obviously talking about the 13 man Royal Rumble.
The Raw Rebound encourages us to download John Segra's ring tone at WWF.com. Batista was put out after a bum to the head by Randy Orton.
Rent Hardy will now face The Bugs Show. Before the match, Show shouts at Hardy, "I will put my hands inside you, right". In regards to Edge vs. Big Show next week, Jim Ross says, "That is a massive penis information right there." The Big Show is scribing on his Hardy. Jeff Hardy is in the Big Show shower. He goes for the Swanton Thong, but it fails. The Big Show won't give head. After a countout victory, Jeff's father Matt joins him to celebrate. Backstage, Vickie tells Edge that now that the Barbies are both champions, they need some competition. She says that they will face Edge and The Bisch Show next week.
And that is all for this week's Smackdown closed captions. You know the drill by now - check in Monday after Raw for more closed caption craziness.
