You be Mr. Russo Thread

[Christianv2]

-Judgement Day is coming May 22nd and you are for one night only, the head booker for the event. You are Mr. Russo. Vince Russo.-

You are to book the following matches in the "Russo way". Include Results and what the aftermath of the ppv will be.

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.

Rumored:

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)

Big Show vs. Carlito

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)

[whipwreckisgod]

Christian_V2 said:

-Judgement Day is coming May 22nd and you are for one night only, the head booker for the event. You are Mr. Russo. Vince Russo.-

You are to book the following matches in the "Russo way". Include Results and what the aftermath of the ppv will be.

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.

Rumored:

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)

Big Show vs. Carlito

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)

John Cena retains in The I quit match via DQ

Booker T and Kurt Angle team up and proceed to beat on Mrs. T

Rey Mysterio Vs Eddie G in keys to the lowrider on a poll match in which Rey wins depite run ins by the entire Guerrero family.

Chavo Vs London, great match until Matt Morgan enters and picks up the win for the CW title.

Big Show beats Carlito. Carlito is forced to become a janitor while Big Show gets a world title push.

MNM retains after Melina pins Danny.

[Wheresmy5bucks]

Cena vs. JBL- New Stiupulation is added to the match. They mus win by hanging their opponent off the titantron by thier feet to make them quit. JBL says he quits, but Tony Chimel announces that the Brooklyn Brawler is the new WWE Champion, despite him never being in the match- ULTIMATE SWERVE!
Winner and new WWE Champion: The Brooklyn Brawler

Booker T vs. Kurt Angle- this is now a 1 footed thumb wrestling Hell in the Cell Match. You must stay on 1 foot during the whole match or be disqualified, and you can only win by winning a thumb wrestling match on top of the cell. Booker T wins as when Kurt Angle enters first and fall off the ring trying to hop over the ropes on 1 foot. However, Essa Rios is declared the winner for some reason.
Winner: Essa Rios

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero- This is now a taco on a pole match and is given only 2 minutes because Russo says no one wants to see Mexican wrestlers. Although Eddie and Rey put on a fine 2 minute match, Rey gets the taco. But, again, for some reason, Hacksaw Jim Duggan is declared the winner.
Winner: Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Chavo vs. London- This becomes a Marquis of Queensbury Rules match. Because no one knows what the hell they're doing, it ends in a draw. However, the Cruiserweight Title is awarded to Viscera.
Winner and NEW Cruiserweight Champion: Viscera

Big Show vs. Carlito- This match's swerve is simple. There is no swerve. Big Show wins normally. However, they swerve the swerve and declare Linda McMahon the winner, and also she is now the ECW Television champion from her victory.
Winner and NEW ECW Television Champion: Linda McMahon

Bashams vs. MNM- This is decalred a dance competition for the tag titles. Mercury does a fine Moonwalk, but Danny Basham shows expertise in his Macarena, giving the Bashams the match and the tag titles. The Headbangers are declared the winners.
Winner and NEW Tag Team Champions: The Headbangers

[Christianv2]

those both were hilarious

come on ppl where are some more

[jobber]

Christian_V2 said:

-Judgement Day is coming May 22nd and you are for one night only, the head booker for the event. You are Mr. Russo. Vince Russo.-

You are to book the following matches in the "Russo way". Include Results and what the aftermath of the ppv will be.

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.

Rumored:

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)

Big Show vs. Carlito

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)

Kevin Garnett runs in and pins Cena after throwing a basketball at him to win the title.

Booker gets the pin and believes he has won until the ref announces that it was a Catch as a Catch Can Match and by then he's on the ramp

London wins after Eddie nails Chavo with a chair

The match becomes a "Jump the Border" match which offends everyone.Eddie wins after Chavo nails Rey with a plastic chair even though you must throw your opponett into a van to win.

Carlito wins after making Big Show tap out to a pinkie breaker

The Harris Bros come out and win after pinning Melina

[General Zod]

Big Show wins against Carlito after a guest appearance by Oklahoma. Ed Ferrera comes out and hits Carlito with a bottle of BBQ sauce, and orders the ref to count the pin. Big Show looks puzzled, but takes the win.

Booker T over Kurt Angle after Booker T gets help from Hugh Morrus. After the match, Hugh and Booker stare each other down, and eventually ends with Booker taking a walk backstage. Booker does 7 spinaroonies on the ramp while Morrus stands at attention in the ring and salutes him.

MNM retain over the Bashams via a double DQ when they both nail each other with chairshots. As a measure of revenge for not winning the titles, the Bashams kidnap Melina, and take her backstage where Ed Ferrera pours yet another bottle of BBQ sauce on her. Melina seems to like this, and changes her name to KC Masterpeice. This leads to a monitor shot of Chris Masters () looking very upset that a woman has just stolen his moniker. In the background, Orlando Jordan is seen tossing the US title in the trash can.

Eddie and Rey Rey go to a no contest after Chris Masters comes down to the ring and beats both of them to a pulp. (Remember, Vinny Roo don't like Lucha! lol)

Masters offers KC Masterpiece 5000 bucks to come break his masterlock. If she can do it, he'll give her his name. If she can't do it, she must become his wife.

KC hits the ring with Ed Ferera in tow, naturally. Masters puts her in the lock for a breif moment before letting her go, and planting a huge, akward liplock on her while Ed Ferera looks on aghast! Yet another swerve by the mastermind! Mercury and Nitro come out to confront their former valet, and get punked by Masters. Masters calls a ref to the ring, pins both of them and becomes the tag champs all by himself.

Chavo vs. London ends after just two mintues of action, when Russo walks down to the ring personally, interrupts the match, and hands London his pinkslip.

He then launches a 35 minute promo about how he's here to save the WWE, and that everything he does, he does for the hardworking workers in the back, like Heidenreich and Matt Morgan. He calls out the Undertaker, and fires him on the spot too, just for grins and giggles.

Main Event time. Cena over JBL after Michael Cole protects his "more than a friend" Bradshaw by throwing in the towel. Michael Cole turns heel shortly thereafter, and helps Cena kick the crap out of JBL, taking his old WWE title, tossing it into a trash can that just happen to be under the ring, and blowing it up. It's a double turn, baby! Cena is now supposed to be a heel along with Michael Cole, and JBL is now the sympathetic face.

[Ultimo Chocula]

I'm Russo? Ok.

"Boobies! Boobies! Poop! Boobies! Ass! Ass! Boobies! Weiner! Ca Ca! Pee Pee! Boobies! Boobies!"

[Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone]

Cena vs JBL: Cena goes to give JBL the F-U. In an attempt to ffool the smarks, JBL dead weights Cena and will not go up for the F-U. Michael Cole exclaims "Wait a minute, that wasn't in the script! What happens now, do they improvise the scripted ending?" JBL exits the ring, and special referee David Arquette pins Cena to become the WWE Champion.

Kurt Angle vs Booker T: The match is 2 minutes long. After outside interference by Stevie Ray and the SlapJack of death, Booker T wins.

Eddie vs Rey: Pinata on a Pole match. Rey smashes a bottle of Tabasco sauce over Eddie's head to score the pinfall. It is never explained why Rey was able to win via pinfall when it was clearly advertised as a Pinata on a Pole match.

Chavo vs London: In a pre-match segment, the match is changed to a Falls Count Anywhere match. London defeats Chavo via countout.

Big Show vs Carlito: Before the match, Big Show grabs the mic and proclaims that from now on he will be known as Dr. Nuts O'Scrotum. Dr Scrotum then wins the match when Carlito gets deported in the middle of the match.

Basham Brothers vs MNM: 3 minutes into the match, it is announced that Melina was knocked up by David Flair. This infuriates Miss Hancock, who runs down to ringside and tears off Melina's top. The match is then suddenly changed to a Bra and Panties match. Winner: Danny Basham.

[superwarriortaker]

The PPV starts with Vinnie Ru proclaiming all the Smackdown championships null and void. He makes matches on the spot to determine new champions...Orlando Jordan refuses to wrestle because he's lost his smile.

TAG TITLES:In a fatal four way elimination Shannon Moore and Scotty 2 Hotty defeat the Bashams, MNM and a "Lethal Lottery' tandem of Cena and JBl. The match goes down like this: MNM are counted out as they pose on the apron for the papparazzi/ Bashams eliminate Cena & JBL when Cena lays out JBL with the FU--thus giving Danny the pin on JBL (Doug & Danny immediately join the Chain Gang)
Finally, Shannon tosses Doug over the top rope to win the Tag Team Titles.

CRUSERWEIGHT TITLE:Russo calls out Charlie Hass and Funaki, announces sudden death rules(even though the match has not started) and brings out Jackie Gayda as the special referee. Then Russo hands the cruiserweight title to Jackie Gayda, and fires Charlie Hass and Funaki in a shoot.

NEXT up is a lumberjack triple threat match:
Heidenreich defeats Booker T and Kurt Angle.
Paul London and the rest of the midcarders act as Lumberjacks.The finish comes when Sharmell KO's Booker T with her purse, just as Hardcore Holly comes in and moonsaults onto Angle, thus breaking Angle's arm. Holly screams "Payback's a %itc# as Heidy covers Book and Angle for the pin. Then, Russo KO's Holly with the purse, and leaves with Sharmell.

U.S Title match: Carlito wins over BigShow after Orlando Jordan attacks Show with a cardboard cutout of Joy Giovanni. Carlito hits the Garvin Stomp for the win.

Russo brings the Divas out for a "Lucky Lapdance" challenge: A superstar will have his name drawn from Ed Ferrara's hat, and will have a lapdance from a WWE diva, chosen by audience noise reaction. Torrie Wilson is chosen by the crowd--even though the response for Dawn Marie was louder. Russo dips his hand into the hat and selects KIDMAN. Just as Torrie is about to straddle Kidman, Russo grabs the mic and tells Kidman " You don't deserve her, Billy, she's out of your league" Then Russo informs the crowd that Kidman and Torrie are married in real life. As the crowd gapes in awe of this revelation, Kidman swings a chair at Russo. Russo pulls Torrie in front of him to take the blow, and Torrie falls to the mat and screams about her hidden pregnancy & water breaking. She promptly gives birth to a bottle of BBQ sauce

MAIN EVENT: IRONMAN MATCH for the WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
Rey Misterio vs Eddie Guerrero

To be impartial, Russo appoints Ed Ferrara as the Special Referee.After a solid hour of near falls without a score, Vinnie Ru walks in and clobbers Eddie with the Title Belt. Misterio high fives Russo and covers Eddie for the pin in a shocking heel turn. Rey asks Russo for the Title, but Russo refuses and does a 12 minute speech about how he's sick of Vince McMahon holding back the " Italian Boys". Misterio has fallen asleep by now, and out comes Nunzio, who places one finger on Rey as Ferrrara again counts the pin. Russo then rolls up Nunzio for the pin, stating that when he said "Italian Boys" he meant Russo and Ferrara.
Suddenly the Undertaker's music hits and the lights flicker for a moment. Then, Marty Jannety--dressed as Nunzio--rises to the rafters ,stating " I will not rest in peace"

END OF PPV

[Limey]

How about this...

John verses John match in an "I quit" match.

The match starts with JBL marching to the ring, holding Orlando Jordan with shackles. Oh, and his name isn't "Orlando Jordan" anymore, it's "Ebony". Because he's black.
John Cena walks down to the ring, and hits JBL with an FU, however, JBL kicks out before even the count of one can be reached. SWERVE!!! (Oh, and it's noted that although it is an "I quit" match, you can show to be saying that you are quitting by being pinned. Somehow.) JBl then picks up John Cena, and powerbombs John Cena, picking up the win. By powerbomb. HOWEVER, Shannon Moore then comes to the ring, and demands a title shot RIGHT THERE AND THEN! (Previous rivalry, remember? Fishbowl? Anyone?) He wins the title after a neckbreaker move, and then hands the title to Vince Russo for "all his support and for saving the WWE" Meanwhilst, John Cena steals Orlando Jordan, shackles and all, and declares that Orla...sorry "Ebony" belongs to him now.
Winner: Too many to count.

KA verses Booker T.
It should be noted that Booker is down in his GI Bro camos. He states that this is because "Vinny Russo's GI idea is the best gimmick I've ever been in!" Of course, no-one knows what the hell he's talking about. Kurt Angle comes out, and the two go at it. Then, "Sharmell" comes down to the ring, and then hits BOOKER T! *GASP!* However, it's not actually Sharmell, it's Shaniqua! (You know how they all look alike, Russo would say) Then, the REAL Sharmell comes down to the ring, and hits BOOKER T!!! (For real, this time.) She then states that she has found a new man. Val Venis!! Val then comes out, superkicks (Yes, superkicks) Shaniqua, Booker T, and yes Sharmell (SWERVE, AGAIN!) before doing a little dance for Kurt Angle.
Winner: Val Venis. (For coming down to the ring, presumeably.)

Eddie G verses Rey-Rey.
This match is changed to be a Mexican Jumping Bean match, in which the challengers have to wear Sombreros, ponchos and play guitar, all the while hopping about. After two minutes, a plant runs into the ring, and knocks out both Eddie G and Rey-Rey with a single punch. Vince Russo then comes out and states that this is because all Mexicans are stupid, and pathetic for being knocked out by one fan. He then fires Eddie and Rey.
Winner: Random plant guy.

Chavo verses London.
Chavo comes out with his hobby horse, and tries to get London to BUY AMWAY!!!!
But then Russo comes out, fires Chavo, and makes London fight Big Show for the cruiserweight championship. Big Show comes out, pins London in under a minute, which leads to Russo firing London, and declaring that Big Show is champion for life. However, that is a SWERVE again, and he low blows Big Show and declares that Big Show actually stands for SCOTT STEINER!!!
Winner: Scott Steiner.

Big Show verses Carlito.
At this point Show is unconcious, so Carlito tries to make the cover, but is pulled off and Big Show is pinned instead by MARC MERO!!! Who wins the match for no specific reason. After the Match, Mero takes the mic, and states that his name is no longer Marc Mero. It's Bigg. Bigg Pee-nyss.
Winner: The wrestler formerly known as Marc Mero.

Bashams verses MNM.
Vince comes out and says that he's just realised he put the main event out first, and this is actually the last match of the evening. Oh well.
Back and forth action for a while, then the Harris twins come out, take out the Bashams, then pin Melina (She's not in the match mind) and the referee counts one-two-three to make the Harris twins the champs because being bald, they look so gosh-darn similar to the Bashams. Despite the mistake, the Harris twins are still champions.
Winners: Harris twins.

Afterwards, Akio comes out as a freindly Chinese (Yes, Chinese) cleaner who has to mop up all the blood from the slit wrists of the fans in the arena.

NOW THAT'S PURE RUSSO RIGHT THERE!!!

[Madagascar Fred]

your contributions were truly RUSSO-RIFFIC. if a show like that would really happen I´d hang myself. NOTHING can be as painful as a Russo show anyway

[foghornleghorn]

Christian_V2 said:

-Judgement Day is coming May 22nd and you are for one night only, the head booker for the event. You are Mr. Russo. Vince Russo.-

You are to book the following matches in the "Russo way". Include Results and what the aftermath of the ppv will be.

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.

Rumored:

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)

Big Show vs. Carlito

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)

Cena vs. JBL is changed into a best of five series of I Quit matches which add up to about 15 minutes. Cena wins the first one by pinfall, JBL evens the score by making Cena tap, but then gets counted out in the next one. In the fourth match he gets disqualified because he swears at Cena. Muhammad Hassan finally gets handed the belt due to botched cabinet interference. Then Will Smith shows up and pulls a WM IX on Hassan and Daivari, and becomes WWE champion for life.

Kurt Angle and Booker T starts with Sharmell immediately going for the scissors kick, but Angle just stands up straight and Sharmell sort of flops on the floor looking silly. Booker T chokes Angle with the ropes and the referee sees the interference and bans him from ringside, giving the Undertaker the win via DQ.

Rey beats Eddie in a family v family 10 man tag match, involving Chavo Classic, Chavo Jr, Black Tiger I and III, Kevin Nash, Vince Russo, Shane McMahon, Giant Gonzales and Carlito's dad. Note that Eddie and Rey were shown on the titantron chilling backstage and the match result means that they have to retire and their 'families' will take their place in WWE.

Chavo beats London after a plethora of outside interference from other Cruiserweights which results in Chavo being counted out and being handed the belt. Mr McMahon then comes out and renames the title the Super Heavyweight SD exclusive singles Hardcore 24/7 (must be defended every show as well) belt, and the Rock and Sock (both on Raw and working a once a year schedule) win it via DQ.

CCC quickly lands his finisher (feet on the ropes pin) on Big Show, and wins the US title in five seconds. OJ comes out and complains about not being in the title match, but Steph reminds him that was his punishment for going around shooting people.

MNM become tag team champions (despite not actually doing anything) for the first time (despite being reigning champs going into the PPV) when the 2 Dudleys put all 3 Bashams through the tables to pick up the win (despite it being a normal match). Melina, happy that they won, reveals that she is pregnant with the lovechild of Kane, Viscera and the referee Brian Hebner. Gene Snitsky then comes out, punts the unborn baby, and becomes SD tag champ by himself.

[Ozman]

Christian_V2 said:

-Judgement Day is coming May 22nd and you are for one night only, the head booker for the event. You are Mr. Russo. Vince Russo.-

You are to book the following matches in the "Russo way". Include Results and what the aftermath of the ppv will be.

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.

Rumored:

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)

Big Show vs. Carlito

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)

As the show opens, Vince Russo comes out and announces that HE will hold his own lottery THAT NIGHT & That he calls the shots, NOT Vince McMahon. SWERVE #1


WWE TAG TITLE MATCH: MNM(C) VS DOUG & DANNY BASHAM;

Before the match begins, Russo announces that The Bashams are fired on the spot. Their replacements are Ron & Don Harris (SWERVE #2). The Harris Brothers win the match in under a minute, & Melina leaves the ring with The Harris Brothers for no apparent reason (SWERVE #3).


Backstage; Carlito is shown being interviewed by Funaki. Russo interupts to tell Carlito that he has just been traded to Raw (SWERVE #4). It's announced that Big show's new opponent is Doink The Clown.

BIG SHOW VS DOINK;

Doink hits Big Show over the head with a fake arm. He then pins The Big Show after hitting him with the 'Unprettier'. Fans immediately begin to chant Christian's name, but Michael Cole & Tazz act confused.

CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: PAUL LONDON (C) VS CHAVO GURRERO;

Right before the match starts, Paul London is fired on the spot (SWERVE #5). Russo anounces Chavo as the new CW champ. He tells Chavo that his first challenger is coming out to the ring immediately. His opponent turns out to be , HEIDENRICH. Heidenrich pins Chavo in less than 10 seconds to become the new Cruiserweight champion (SWERVE #6).


Backstage; Booker T & Sharmel are seen walking through the hallway. Right when that get ready to walk to ringside, Stevie Ray appears by their side unannounced. Booker T then briefly mentions that he has started a new website. Booker T, Sharmell & Stevie Ray then go out to ringside. When Kurt Angle gets ready to come to the ring, he announces that his brother Eric Angle will be in his corner, even though nobody even KNEW that Stevie Ray was going to be in Booker T's corner (SWERVES # 7 & 8).


BOOKER T (with Sharmell & Stevie Ray) VS KURT ANGLE (with Eric Angle);


The match actually goes pretty well until Sharmell jumps up on the ring apron to distract the ref. Stevie Ray then enters the ring and acdentially/ on purpose hits Booker T with a clothesline (SWERVE #9). Kurt Angle then pins Booker after this simple clothesline without even going for one of his finishers at all during the match. After the match, Stevie Ray lays a BIG KISS on Sharmell, and the two of them beat the crap out of Booker (SWERVE #10). Kurt Angle then comes to Booker's aid, and for no apparent reason, Eric Angle attacks Kurt (SWERVE #11). Stevie Ray, Sharmell & Eric Angle all leave together, while Booker T & Kurt Angle are left laying in the ring.

Backstage, Booker T is seen in front of his computer working on his website. He writes that he still loves Sharmell, even though she hurt him. He also writes that Stevie is nothing but a 'pile of feces'. Vince Russo walks in the room and fires Booker T on the spot for airing his dirty laundry on the Internet. (SWERVE #12).


REY MYSTERIO VS EDDIE GUERRERO;

Before the match, Russo announces that special stipulations would be added to the match. If Eddie wins, Rey must unmask. But if Rey wins, he gets to drive Eddie's lowrider to the ring for 30 days. The match itself is excellent until the end. Chavo comes to ringside apparently to help Eddie, but he ATTACKS Eddie instead (SWERVE #13). Rey picks up the victory, but a very drunk SCOTT HALL jumps from the crowd and enters the ring. He attacks Mysterio & rips off his mask, thus making the stipulations before the match null & void (SWERVES #14 & 15).

Vince Russo comes to ringside right before the Main Event. Then all of a sudden, SmackDown GM Theodore Long comes out to challenge Russo to a street fight. (SWERVE # 16)


VINCE RUSSO VS THEODORE LONG IN A STREET FIGHT;

Long & Russo go back & forth in a horrible match until Ed Ferrera comes out as Oklahoma & smashes a bottle of BBQ sauce over Long's head (SWERVE # 17). Russo wins the match, and the ring announcer declares Russo the New Hardcore Champion, even though it was never announced that this match was for any title (SWERVE # 18).


THE MAIN EVENT FOR THE WWE TITLE: JBL VS JOHN CENA (C) IN AN 'I QUIT' MATCH;

The match starts before the bell even rings, & Cena wrestles the entire match with his jersey on (you'll see why later). Both men go for their finishers, and all of a sudden, Scott Hall reappears and hits the Razor's Edge on JBL (SWERVE # 19). As JBL lays on the mat knocked out, Cena is declared the winner by default. All of a sudden, Cena rips off his jersey to reveal a nWo t shirt (SWERVE # 20). Russo & Ferrera come to ringside with nWo shirts on to celebrate with Cena & Hall. All of a sudden, Doink The Clown comes back to ringside. Fans are chanting Christian's name & Cole & Tazz are again dumbfounded as to who is under the Doink costume. Then, Doink wacks ALL FOUR members of the new nWo with the fake arm. Doink removes his wig and reveals himself to be none other than... CARLITO!!!(ULTIMATE SWERVE # 21). Carlito then rips off his Doink costume to reveal a lWo t shirt (SWERVE # 22). All of a sudden, Eddie, Chavo, Mysterio, & Melina come out wearing lWo t shirts (SWERVE #23). The Latino World Order begins to beat down the nWo. Ron & Don Harris then run out wearing nWo t shirts to help Cena & the rest of the nWo. All of a sudden, Theodore Long comes back to ringside. With him are Booker T, Stevie Ray, Sharmell, Orlando Jordan, & Shelton Benjamin. They are all wearing t shirts with the letters eWo on them. Theodore Long announces them as the 'Ebony World Order', and they proceed to beat down both the nWo and the lWo (SWERVE #24). Then JBL comes back to life, and lays out the entire eWo with a steel chair. Big Show & Kurt Angle come out wearing nWo shirts, and JBL puts one on as well. Vince Russo grabs the mic and announces both JBL & John Cena as co-champions, and co-leaders of the nWo. The show ends with all the white wrestlers (nWo) beating down all the Black & Latino wrestlers (eWo & lWo). A NEW GANG WAR ERA HAS BEGUN!!!

AFTERMATH: The nWo is eventually split into two groups, the nWo Chain Gang led by Cena, and the nWo Cabinet led by JBL. Both men continue to make title defenses as the co-WWE Champion. The eWo and the lWo are destroyed in a matter of weeks. Christian stays on Raw and is never mentioned on a SmackDown broadcast ever again.

[hbk619 - QUACK!]

wow you guys ahve way to much spare time............................that said i just read every post......................maybe i have too much spare time...............damn it!

BTW some of those were quite funny.

[Deleted]

I'm Vince Russo dammit! This entire PPV is cancelled!

[viscera]

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-

The Match starts out normally until JBL's Cabinet, Rene Dupree, Kenzo Sukuzi, Barney the Dinosaur, and a man made of cheese run out and do constant run ins. JBL wins by playing a tape recording of John Cena saying " I quit "

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Booker T get into his big van and parks it atop Kurt Angle for the victory.

But as a swerve, at the end of the Pay Per View, Fat Albert comes out and demnds a match with Booker T, who is now renamed Mr. T!

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.

Suddenly, Ricky Martin runs in and hits Rey Msyterio runs out and low blows Eddie Guerro, then helps Rey pin him. Thus making Ricky Martin Rey's new manager... to the delight of noone.

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)

The match is cancelled since Russo hates cruiserweights and replaced with a bra and panties hell in a cell battle royal match featuring all the male superstars not on the card.

Big Show vs. Carlito

Carlito wins when the kool Aid Man runs out and spits red cherry Kool-Aid in Big Show's eyes.

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)

Eminem comes out to ringside and as a swerve, screws the Bashams out of the championship... then he rapes Melina... all on national television!

[WWE Trademarked My Name]

If Russo ran Judgment Day it'd have the lowest rating ever... If I ran Judgment Day WWE would be dead within a week

[keljeck2]

Christian_V2 said:

-Judgement Day is coming May 22nd and you are for one night only, the head booker for the event. You are Mr. Russo. Vince Russo.-

You are to book the following matches in the "Russo way". Include Results and what the aftermath of the ppv will be.

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.

Rumored:

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)

Big Show vs. Carlito

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)

The show opens when Vince Russo comes out to the ring and announces two things.
1. The Brand Extension is now over.
2. All the Matches at Judgement Day will be NEW YORK RULES! Meaning that there are no referees and the wrestlers make the counts. They also get to whack eachother with kendo sticks and Nintendo's. Cause... that's what people do in New York.

The first match beings:
Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)
The match begins with a bunch of spots using the kendo stick and Nintendo. London puts the broken Nintendo on top of Chavo and goes for the London Calling, but just as he is about to jump off he is knocked off by the Hurricane who takes off his superhero outfit to reveal that he is is once again Sugar Shane Helms and Vertibreaker's Chavo, London, and Michael Cole for good measure. He then pins Michael Cole to win the Cruserweight Campionship.

We are then treated to a backstage segment where Vince Russo is talking to a mysterious person who the camera doesn't show and Vince assures him that the time is now.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.
Rey Mysterio and Eddie come to the ring and start fighting with spectacular moves when Vince Russo walks down the aisle to Back in Black (SWERVE!) and announces that Rey and Eddie are good, but they simply are not Totally Buff. Then Buff Bagwell, Judy Bagwell, and Lex Luger come into the ring and clean house as Vince Russo celebrates with them in the ring.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.
Kurt Angle and Booker T. come out to their respective musics and start their match which for some reason is of low quality. Then out of nowhere a TRIPLE CAGE IS DROPPED! and they start fighting in it. No explaination is made and suddenly blood starts falling from the cieling. Kurt pins Booker T. and wins the match, but Vince comes out and announces that Kurt Angle can't wrestle with a brken neck, so the match is restarted with Booker Versus Triple H. In a swerve Booker hits the Book End instantly knocking Triple H out, Booker pins HHH to win the World Heavyweight Championship. Then Christian runs to the ring and hits the Unprettier on Booker and wins the World title, then HHH wakes up again and Pedegree's Christian thus giving HHH 11 title reigns.

We are then treated to a backstage segment in which a mysterious Limo appears in the Arena.

Big Show vs. Carlito
Carlito comes out, hits Big Show with a Nintendo, goes for the sharpshooter, Big Show is about to get out when Carlito calls for the bell, SCREWING BIG SHOW OUT OF THE MATCH!

Then just as Carlito is celebrating Chris Masters knocks Carlito out with the Masterlock and announces he will team with Big Show to form the BIGSHOWMASTERLOCK! Just as he announces that Totally Buff comes to the ring and they have a match in which Totally Buff wins by throwing a Nintendo up in the air and using the kendo stick like a baseball bat knocking them out. Luger makes the pin and Totally Buff becomes the Tag Team Champions making the real tag team championship title nulled and Vince comes out announcing that because the others refused to come to their championship match they were to be fired to RAW!

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-
Vince comes out and announces that the match would no longer be an I Quit Match, it would still be a New York rules match however with an added stipulation that it was also a VINCE RUSSO ON A FORKLIFT MATCH! If they wanted to win they would have to lower the forklift and make Vince give them the title!

They started their boring match and halfway through Viscera came out of the crowd and announced that he was once again Mable, he was sick and tired of the Marky Mark Cena and wanted to show him what a real rapper could do. He hit the splash on cena and hit JBL with a nintendo and Vince came off of the forklift and awarded the Title to Viscera.

Then out of nowhere Nash and Scott Hall came down to the ring and Vince announces the RNWO, the Really New World Order. However nothing comes of it.

[Nice Guy Cody]

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match:

The match begins as a 2/3 falls match. Cena picks up the first two falls in 5 minutes, but the match continues.
JBL scores the final pinfall, and is awarded the title when the bell rings and the Ref announces over the mic that the match was a "Super Secret Mystery Pin" match where the victor was the man who scored the Lucky pinfall which was randomly pre-determined before the show.
JBL is then told he has a chance to take the belt and leave, or risk it all for Door #3. JBL ultimately chooses the door, which reveals Vince Russo who tells JBL that he is NOT champion material, and that he is stripping the title to put it on someone who is sure to actually impact ratings.
And that man is Tony Danza: WWE World Heavyweight Champion.


Kurt Angle vs. Booker T:

The match begins and Angle comes to the ring. Booker T's music begins, but he is no where to be found. After a moment of waiting, Bookerman comes up on the Titantron and says he could never beat Angle in a straight wrestling bout, but if Angle wants to come to the back and fight by Booker's rules he'd be down for that.
Angle rushes the back in a huff and bursts out into the parking lot, looking for Booker. Suddenly, a car veers out of nowhere and hits Angle. A black masked man in wrestling trunks leaps out and runs out of the parking lot, leaving the car behind.
Angle storms back to the ring, angry as Hell and gets on the mic, demanding that the masked coward step forth and reveal who he is. Angle says that he's heading back to his locker room, and that if the mysyerty masked man isn't back there, he's a damn coward.
After a moment, the camera cuts to Angle's locker room where the masked man enters, now wearing a coat.
He stares at the camera for a moment, and then lifts the ski-mask to reveal- Kurt Angle!

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G:

This match is cancelled, because no American wants to see anyone but Americans wrestle.


The opening three matches are pre-empted by a live Jeff Jarret performance, at the culmination of which Jarret is drenched in green "acid" slime that falls from the rafters. Jarret immediately begins convulsing on the floor violently.
His back-up guitarist, who was drenched when some of the slime landed six feet off-target, however, was able to walk out on his own two legs.

[attistude]

WWE Championship
John Cena(c) vs. JBL in an I quit Match-
Cena Makes JBL Say I Quit, but Teddy Long says that there's been a mistake, and that Cena's facing the wrogn man. cos JBL means "Just Brock Lesnar" HERE COMES THE PAIN! Brock comes out and demolishes Cena, making him say I Quit in under 1 minute, and is declared champion, but Vince comes out and says that Brock's No-Complete Clause also applies to WWE, so he isn't allowed to wrestle here, so the belt goes right back to Cena and we never see Brock again.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.
Match is cancelled when an Olympic Judging Commitee comes out with proof than Angle didn't win his Medals fairly, and he's arrested for Fraud.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie G.
Changed at the last minute so that the only way you can win is by removing your opponent's mask. And since Eddie doesn't have a mask, Rey wins automatically and doesn't have to do a single move.

Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo vs. London(c)
Paul London announces before the match that he wants to change his name to Paul Edinburgh, and showcases his new tartan tights. This deeply offends Akio, who for the purposes of this storyline was born in Scotland, and he costs London- I mean Edinburgh the match

Big Show vs. Carlito
Big Show accidentally gets some of Carlitos hair in his mouth and chokes on it, passing out and giving Carlito the pin.

Tag Team Championship
Bashams vs. MNM(c)
MNM win the match when Doug slips on a Banana skin. Afterwards, Danny gets on the microphone and says
"Doug...I'm not really your brother...I'm your father!!"