WCTNA Thread 18: iMPACT! - Saturday 4PM EST

[Above Average]

Yes sir.

[Oak: Certified Jade Hater]

Is D'Angelo Dinero on the roster yet, or are we waiting for tonight's Impact before adding him?

[MikeyMania]

I think AA would have seen him on the PPV so Dinero is probably on the roster now.

[Oak: Certified Jade Hater]

Alrighty then, it's now time for the fabled Hayden's Third Pick!!

*Crowd goes "oooohh..."*

I'll take AJ Styles as my third pick and take D'Angelo under the tag rule.

Good?

[MikeyMania]

Check your PMs, Michael.

[Above Average]

Dandy.

[Deleted]

Mikey I just sent you a Massive Promo for Impact
Courtesy of myself Cageking,Hayden and Wordlife

[Deleted]

When's the next Trade Window over here by the way?

I just had the perfect Idea for who could make Brutus and Hoyt look tame

[Perpetual Nirvana]

October I think. Dunno where I got that from/

[Deleted]

Does Douglas count as Released?

[Perpetual Nirvana]

Well yeah. If you drop him, he's gone.

[Deleted]

No but I meant can I drop him at any time

We can still do that with The Released Guys right?

[Deleted]

1 hour till Impact

[MikeyMania]

Before the Show

Backstage James Storm is in his locker room when Robert Roode comes in.*

James?

What?

Did you really ask for this match with Morgan tonight?

What if I did?

What the hell is this about?

You want to know what this is about?

*Storms stands up and goes face-to-face with Roode.*

I've had it with this guy. First off he kicks me in the face and cost us the tag titles at Hard Justice. Then he challenges Creed because he thinks he's Jay Lethal's mystery guy but he can't get that done either. I've had it with this guy. So tonight, I'm gonna do something about it. Look, I didn't want this guy in Beer Money, I never asked for this guy to be in Beer Money and we don't need this guy in Beer Money. And I'm gonna prove it tonight.

*Storm exits. Morgan comes in.*

What the hell is his deal?

Just do your job.

You want me to beat Storm?

Yes. No. I dunno.

*Roode leaves.*

You know I'm really starting to wonder if this is worth it.



Mike: Hello, I'm Mike Tenay with Don West and this is WCTNA Impact.
Don: With less than a fortnight until No Surrender, we've got a jam packed card tonight.
Mike: And throughout it, more Gauntlet for the Gold participants will be announced via updates from Dr. Stevie's office.
Don: Let's get started with tag team action.



JB: Impact's opening contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Elizabeth, New Jersey, weighing 210 pounds, Jay Lethal!

*Jay takes JB's mic*

I told you all that I was not only one who wanted to spread a message through the ranks of WCTNA and tonight my partner will make his Impact debut and prove to all of you that we are the future of this company. Now just before I introduce him, I was called into Dr. Stevie's office today and he wanted to thank me first hand for bringing this bright young star to WCTNA. As a result, not only did he give me and my partner a tag team match against Beer Money at No Surrender, I will be one of the twenty men in the Gauntlet for the Gold. The redemption of WCTNA starts tonight so ladies and gentlemen, my partner is from The Streets of Harlem, New York, weighing 230 pounds, please welcome, D'Angelo Dinero!



*Jay hands Dinero the mic*

Sinners of WCTNA, prepare to see the light for your Pope has arrived. The boys in Connecticut wanted to put an end to my mission statement but tonight I will rise above evil. For far too long, I have had to sit on the sidelines while others broke the eight commandment and stole my spotlight. I was forced to ask why those who had committed lust, gluttony and greed became champions. I needed an outlet to preach the good word in what had turned into a very dark place so when Jay Lethal, a man who has the same values as I, called me and said he needed a partner, I got on the first plane to Orlando. Doug Williams, Rob Terry, they say money is the root of all evil, well tonight you've got to deal with Lethal Dinero.

*Dinero chucks JB the mic*



JB: Their opponents, from the UK, at a combined weight of 495 pounds, Rob Terry and Doug Williams, GBH!

3 Votes to Win, 10 Minute Time Limit

[Deleted]

Dinero hits the Outer Limitz Elbow on Doug

[Perpetual Nirvana]

YES!

Dinero with the Elijah Express Pope Mobile.

[MikeyMania]

Jay follows up with the Lethal Combination and gets the three count.

Don: Lethal and Dinero are clearly on the same page but can the same be said about Beer Money?
Mike: Well coming up next, James Storm takes on Matt Morgan so maybe they'll be able to work things out.
Don: I believe something is going on in the back. Let's check it out.

*Cheerleader Melissa is backstage, playing with her pom poms*

*Sarita shoves her from behind*
Do you know who I y'am?

Of course I know who you are! You're the beeyotch who has the belt I want! What the hell do you want?!

*Sarita holds the Belt in Cheerleader Melissa's face*
Know what this is Puta?

What the hell is your problem?! You get in my face, asking me a bunch of stupid questions you know I know the answers to, what is your deal?!!!

You want to know what my problem is Pendeja?
I go through the trouble of winning this belt off Baloon Tits Traci and Humiliating her for Dishonoring it by sleeping her way to it

Then I find out the next challenger for it is.......................
Some Puta pintada de una animadora

*Josie and Trisha walk up behind Sarita*

Like, ohmigawd Trisha! Are you hearing this?!

Sarita, you betta get to steppin', before y fists decide to do some wreckin', now are we clear?

*Cody Deaner strolls in and puts his Arms around Trisha and Josie*
CD:Weeeeellll Hoooowwwdy there Girls what's going on with the Deanermeister favorite group of Cheerieleaders and who's yer new freind?

Like, seriously?!

What do you want, Deaner?

Yeah, get out of here before Trisha kick's your ass!

CD:Aww C'mon the Dean Machine is just making a little time with some of WCTNA's best looking knockouts and them skirts ya wear drive the Deaner mad and y'all know this
Now c'mon my little foxy's go nice on the Deaner cause he only wants to play with y'all you can even bring your freind there just make her wear shoes

Oh no he didn't. Oh no he didn't!

Cody, if I were you, I'd take off. NOW.

*Points at Sarita*

And take HER with you.

CD:Why Y'all ladies always gotta fight?
Why can't you and this cute little seniorita
*Deaner reaches over and Puts his hand on Sarita's hip*
And we can all go out for Frosty Chocolate Milkshakes!

*Sarita suddenly kicks Deaner*

CD:MAH DIAMONDS!
*Deaner sinks to the floor and begins whimpering*

Pathetic Pendejas you can't handle me one on one so you call in the Flavor of Love Rejects

We sure as hell don't need Cody Deaner to fight our battles for us!

Hell yeah, you tell 'er girl!

Like, that belt is totally coming home with Pep Team USA after No Surrender!

You want to fight?
Three on One?
Lets make it even

*Jesse Neal and Homicide walk up and put there arms around Sarita*
You wanna fight now ya stupid tricks?

C'mon bring it!

Like, just hold up a second Trisha!

Guys, let's be reasonable. You wouldn't beat up on a bunch of girls, now would you?

Neal:Well why not
It's not like I've had the most sucess facing the men maybe If I fight Girls it'll work out better

Good enough for me!

*Trisha goes to attack Neal, but...*

*Bruno Sassi and Big Tilly enter*
Tilly:What's going on here now?
Sassi:You two were'nt about too attack these Women now were you?
Tilly:And why is Deaner on the floor?

Like hey boys! Was that party last week like totally the most or what?!

Whatayou jokers want?

Sassi:Were here because we heard Deaner screaming from the Mens Room
Tilly:Speaking of that doesn't the short guy handing out breath mints look familiar?

Typical Pendejas you talk a big game about being ready to fight but then once it's time to go you call in your big strong men

Neal:Wait didn't you call us in first?
Homicide:Dawg shut the hell up!

Um, HELLO?! I'm still here!

Deaner:MAH DIAMONDS I THINK MAH DIAMONDS ARE BLEEDING!
*Deaner grabs onto Cheerleader Josie's leg*
I CAN'T FEEL MAH DIAMONDS I THINK I'M GONNA NEED MOUTH TA MOUTH!

Uh like, GROSS!!!!

Neal:Well so who's gonna beat me up this week?

*Deaner crawls over and Grabs Cheerleader Trisha's Leg*
HOW BOUT YOU YOU WANNA SAVE THE DEANER'S LIFE WIT SUM MOUTH TA MOUTH?!

No.

So ANYWAY...

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ONE IN HERE!?
*Shane Douglas enters*
THE FRANCHISE GOES TO GET SOME BREATH MINTS FROM THAT f***ING MIDGET IN THE MENS ROOM AND HE COMES OUT TO FIND ONE OF THE QUEEREST LOOKING RUMBLES THIS SIDE OF WESTSIDE f***ING SUCKFEST!!

Queer? Oh no you didn't. Oh. No. You. Didn't.

YES THE FRANCHISE f***ING DID!
WE'VE GOT YOU TWO FAT f***S WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TRAINING!

WE'VE GOT THE BRING IT ON AGAIN SPIRIT SQUAD'S WITH TWO THIRDS OF THERE ATLANTA DIVISION STRAIGHT OFF THERE CAMEO IN A MYSTIKAL VIDEO WHERE THEY PLEYED BOOTY DANCERS NUMBER 8 AND 23!!
PLUS WE'VE GOT THE HEAD CHEERLEADER HERSELF STRAIGHT OUTTA SOME HIGH SCHOOL GYM WHERE SHE WON HERSELF
THE SOUTHERN HEAVYWEIGHT INTERNATIONAL TITLE AND FOR THE f***ING SPED'LIYS OUT THERE THAT SPELLS SHIT!

*Douglas walks over and Slaps Jesse Neal*
THEN WE'VE GOT THIS JOBBER STRAIGHT OUTTA THE CASTING SESSION FOR PARTY MONSTER BUT CAN'T BE ASSED TO BRING HIS OWN f***ING GEAR!!

Homicide:HA! he owned you

THEN WE'VE GOT BUTTf*** TIJUANA'S OWN HOMO-CIDE WHERE HE'S WANTED FOR RAPING LITTLE BOYS!!
HE'S GOT THE SUPERHUMAN ABILITY TO FLEE FROM THE POLICE!

ADD INTO THAT THE FIVE FOOT HILLBILLY JAMBOREE CRAWLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR CLUTCHING THE CAVE THAT USED TO BE HIS REPRODUCTIVE f***ING ORGANS!!

Be Quiet Old Man

THE f*** DID YOU JUST CALL THE FRANCHISE?!?!?

YOU FAKE f***ING FENCE JUMPER WHO SAWED THE ANTLERS OFF A MOOSE AND CALLED IT A f***ING DONKEY SHOW FOR EL MOUNTIES!!

*Josie just stands there with a blank look on her face*

Oh good job! Look what your little tirade just did to Jo!

Just go on down to the same Music Video set you picked her off it's not like she's unique

OK that's it! I have had enough of you runnin' your mouth. Let's go!

*Trisha and Sarita circle each other, ready for a fight...*

*Suddenly Both Members of Team 3D grab Trisha*
Ray:Now look at this D-von
I do believe this little piece of Trash was about to attack Sister Sarah
D-von:Sure looks like it
Ray:You know something Shantelle or whatever your name is?
We like Sarita
D-von:Like her alot
Ray:Like her like a Little Sister
D-von:But what we don't like is when some piece of trash straight outta harlem decides to whale on our Little Sister

Get your grubby hands off of her!

Ray:Or what you'll beat us up?!
Who's gonna do it?
You?!
The Other Black Chick?!
Or Old Man Douglas?

Hell, I'll kick your asses myself!

Ray:Awwww ain't that cute
Westside Slut thinks she's tough
D-von:Hilarious

Deaner:I'll fight ya's!
*Deaner stands up and Turns his hat around*
C'mon I'll fight ya's both and when I beat ya's I gets that cheerleader!

Ray:Your kidding right?
Can you count Hillbilly?
There's One
D-von:Two
Neal:Three
Homicide:Four
Cinco
Ray:Five of us
and One of you
Neal:I'll probably still get my ass kicked though

Count again Fatass
You've also got the Franchise and His Boys add in Hillwilliam there and the Two Skirts and It comes up that you forgot to add 5 more there

*Suddenly, Josie comes out of her trance*

Like, whoa! My brain totally overloaded! So like, what'd I miss?!

*Taz wanders in hand Josie a Towel and then leaves*

Someone tell Shaniqua she didn't miss much and should be ready to fight

Whoa, a fight?! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

*Melissia and Trisha join in*

*Jethro Holliday and Kiyoshi begin chanting*
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Ray:You wanna go lets go

Homicide:Make the first move
Neal:It'll probably be me getting KO'ed

*Jenna Morasca walks by. She trips over her sandals, and accidentally bumps Kiyoshi, knocking him into Trisha*

What the hell?! Now you want in?! Well you asked for it, pal!

*Trisha starts pounding away on Kiyoshi*

Ray:SHE'S BEATING UP YUJIRO WE GOTTA SAVE HIM!
JESSE GO SAVE HIM!

Neal:But-

DO IT!

That's not even-

D-von:DO IT!

Neal:
*Sigh*
Not the face alright?
*Neal charges at Trisha and.....*

*........He touches her arm with one finger. Trisha immediatelthe wrong idea.y drops Kiyoshi and starts crying*

Neal:I Won?
.............HOLY CRAP I WON!!
I WO-
*Neal is suddenly punched out by Deaner*

*Curry Man rushes in and checks on Kiyoshi while the Murder City Machine Guns walk in.*

Shelley: Well what do we have here?

Sabin: I'd say it looks as if their getting ready for a gang rape.

Shelley: Didn't we fire that guy that would do that?

Sabin: His deal was date rape, not gang rape.

Shelley: Right...

Deaner:The Dean Machine is still happily employed thank you very much and the 7.25 a Month is quite apprecamacated

Neal:Eye Tink Jew Broked By DOSE!!!

Deaner:He works here too the surprise of all

*Bruno Sassi begins eating a bag of chips*

*Shelley and Sabin look at Sassi*
Shelley: Suprised?

Sabin: Not really.

Shelley: Hey, when did we get cheerleaders?

Sabin: I'm not sure, but...
*walks to the cheerleaders*
Hello ladies. I'm a former X-Division and Tag Team Champion.

*Sarita walks over and pushes Melissa and Josie out of the way then put her arms around the Guns*
Madre De Dios thank goodness you two handsome Muchachoes are here I and my Family here
*Sarita gestures to Homicide and 3D*
Were just trying to get some of the food from the Catering table when these two Gordo's,The Dinosaur and that little Mulleted Pervert all attacked us and broke my................Cousin's nose
Neal:BY DOSE ID BOKEN HEAH FAH FAKS SAKE!
I NEE BANDAGES!

*Taz hands Neal a Towel then wanders off*
Neal:Tanks

*Shelley removes his hand from Sarita*
Shelley: Sorry, I'm already in enough trouble with Taylor as it is. I don't need her getting the wrong idea about us.

Sabin:Um... do I still get the cheerleaders?

Shelley: Dude, can you think of something else besides cheerleaders?

*Sabin looks at the arm Sarita is currently holding*
Sabin: Do I get Sarita?

*Shelley facepalms*

Ray:You can both get our little Sister there
D-von:Free of Charge and Morals
Ray:All you gotta do is one favor for us
D-von:It's an offer you can't refuse
Ray:Help us,with me so far here boys?
Take care of them

Shelley: Like I said, I'm already dealing with Taylor over one girl. I ain't getting in trouble over another.

*Sabin looks at Sarita, looks at the others, looks at Sarita once again, and looks at Shelley.*
Sabin: Come on Alex, we can take them!

Shelley: Wait, why am I dragged into this?

Sabin: ... because.

Shelley: Not much of an argument there Chris.

Sabin: Are you gonna help or not?

Shelley: Sigh...

Huh so that's how its gonna be now
WELL YOU LITTLE PUNKS!
YOU'VE HEARD WHAT THE FRANCHISE CAN DO TO THOSE WHO PISS HIM OFF AND NOW YOU FIND OUT WHAT HE'S GONNA DO!

HIIIYYYAAA!
*Douglas winds up and Kick Neal in the Ribs*

Neal:MUDDER A CHRIDE!!
MY DIBS!!
Homicide:You Pussy

Sabin: It's on now! Shelley, you get Bruno and Tilly while I get Deaner.

Shelley: Are you s***ing me? I can barely take one of them!

Sabin: I gotta protect Sarita!

Deaner:YOU WANN GO PRETTY BOY LETS GO!
Just hang on one second
JETHRO! C'MERE
*Jethro Holliday enters*
JH:Wha'chu want?
*Deaner whispers something in Jethro's ear*
JH:THAT LITTLE f*** SAID WHAT 'BOUT MAH MAMA?!
CD:Like Pancakes he said
JH:I'LL KILL HIM!!

Sabin: That's right, Jesse over here said all that about your mama Jethro. He also said you can't fight to save your life.

Shelley: Wow Chris. Even when you were a neo-Nazi, you didn't stoop this low.

Sabin: I have no idea what you're talking about.

JH:.........Who the hells Jesse?
CD:Is he the Mexican One or the British One?

Isn't he Gordy's boy?

Sabin: That's the slam master. This here's a knock-off.

Shelley: This here?

Sabin: Ya gotta speak their language.

JH:Well then who's that boys pappy?
CD:Don't no nobody named Neal

I remember when me,Hayes and Gordy Sr. used to go out into the desert and beat Tom Zenk with a Sack of Oranges until he cried because he kept botching the Crossbody
*A Single Tear rolls down Douglas's cheek*
Good Times

Here's a Towel

Thanks don't I know you?

Nope

*Shelley shakes his head in embarrassment while Sabin turns to Sarita*

Sabin: You know, if we leave right now, we could make it to the hotel just in time for the spa.

Shelley: You have no shame do you?

Sabin: What's shame?

HA!
If you two idiots aren't going to fight your about as useful as my Cousin there
*Sarita walks up and drapes her arm around Curry Man and Kiyoshi*
How about you two?
Think you can help out a fellow Immigrant?

Curry Man: Hai! We... help you with... probrem.

Kiyoshi: Warrior.

Sabin: Hey back off! I saw her first!

Shelley: Dude, just let it go.

Sabin: Hell no, they're trying to cockblock me!

Curry Man: What is... cockblock?

Sabin: What you're doing right now!
*Shoves Curry Man*
You keep your hands off her, you understand?!

Muchachos you do not fight each other you fight the Fat Boys over there
*Sarita points at PDS*

Tilly:Pass those chips man this is getting good

Ray:You OK D-von?
D-von:Little Sister making me so proud man

*Sabin turns to Sarita.*
Sabin: Sarita, I'm all for helping you deal with these guys, but what's with turning to Curry Man? You can barely understand him half the time!

Curry Man: Maybe she rike it SPIIICCCAAYYYY!!

Sabin: I'll kill you!
*Sabin lunges at Curry Man, but is held back by Shelley.*

Shelley: Focus you idiot. The sooner we take care of PDS and the inbreds, the sooner I can forget about all this and you do whatever the hell you were planning to do with Sarita.

*Sabin turns to Sarita*
Sabin: Dinner and a movie sound good to you?

Only if Blood and Internal Injuries occur here

JH:So who do I hit?
The One who's thinking in his pants,the Japanees one,the guy with the mask or Shelly?
CD:Hell if I care just pick'em!
JH:Eenie-Meenie-Miney..........

Sabin: GET THE JAPS BOYS! DUBYA DUBYA....
*Team 3D, Shelley, Pep Team USA, Southern Justice, PDS, Shane Douglas, Homicide, Jesse Neal, Kiyoshi, Curry Man, and Sarita all look at Sabin as if to prevent him from finishing.*
TWO! DUBYA DUBYA TWO!!
*Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.*

Shelley: That was too close of a call there Chris.

Sabin: What are you talking about?

JH:I CAN'T TAKE IT!
*Jethro punches Kiyoshi flooring him*
Whats next
CD:Uhhhhh

Wanna eat him?

JH:......................Maybe

Ray:So where we going for this movie?

Homicide:I wanna see District 9
Neal:I think I'm bleeding still

Sabin: Whoa whoa whoa, it's just going to be Sarita and I going to dinner and a movie. Alone. As in just the two of us.

Neal: Yep, I'm still bleeding.

Shelley: Who cares?

*Taz walks in, hands Jesse another towel, and walks off.*

WHEN THE f*** DID THE LUCKY CHARMS KID HOP OFF THE CEREAL BOX?!

*Kip James Walks In*

Um.....What's goin on?

We got the Trix Rabbit too?

Shelley: I'm honestly half-expecting Count Chocula to show up.
*Bobby Lashley suddenly walks in as the Guns look at each other.*
Great, we got Frankenberry.

Sabin: As long as both of them stay away from Sarita, I'm okay with it.

Ray:I'm getting the feeling we're really forgetting something

Yes the Stalling Boys here keep refusing to fight just because there out numbered 6 to one at this point

*Sabin looks over to Shelley.*
Sabin: Dude, is she talking about us?

Shelley: I don't know, and honestly I don't even care at this point.

Lashley: Come on you bathturds! GOD OF THUNDER!!

Shelley: Someone end my misery. Please.

*Down the hall, the Nation of Violence are armed with kendo sticks, watching everything.*
Petey: I got the stupid ones.

Joe: I got the fat ones.
Roxxi: I got the females.
Wait, what about Shelley?

Petey: He's with Sabin, so he gets the beating.

Joe: Works for me.

CD:WE CAN SEE YOU GUYS Y'KNOW
JH:Yer not very incomaspicious
CD:You said that wrong
JH:I said it in english

Petey: What's your point? Either you get your beating now, or later. Either way works for us.

Lashley: Shut up you bathturds.

Joe: Okay, you're first.

*Shelley turns to Sabin.*
I'm out of here. You coming?

Sabin: First of all, I ain't leaving without Sarita. Second, dude, you're gonna leave me here?

Shelley: You're just chasing a peice of ass. A hot peice of ass, but a peice of ass nonetheless. You don't really need me here.

Sabin; I need you for back up when we start the fight. Who else is gonna protect me? Glass Jaw Jesse? The trix rabbit?

Shelley: Sigh, you owe me big.

Neal:I can't feel my jaw
Homicide:It's been established
Neal:SO WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING!?
Homicide:Cause we really don't care

Ray:Yep
D-von:Mmm-hmmm

Sabin: Who are you again?

Shelley: Gotta agree with the others there Jesse.

Lashley: Yeah, shut up you bathturd.

Shelley: You know, you really ought to fix that lisp you got there Bobby.

Lashley: What lisp?

Neal:I bet if If I suddenly burst into flames noone would even really notice would they?

Ray:Would making Smores count as caring?

Sabin: I have marshmallows just in case.

*Shelley looks at Sabin.*
Shelley: Why do you carry marshmallows?

Sabin: I get hungry sometimes. Want some?

Shelley: No.

Sabin: Suit yourself Tomko.
*Pops marshmallow into his mouth before turning to Sarita.*
Want some?

Nada
Watching my figure
With Mi Familia thats a major problem

Ray:I'll take one

Sassi:Can we get some?

Sabin: You look more than fine to me there Sarita.

Shelley: Keep it in your pants there loverboy.

Sabin: Right.
*Sabin tosses a few marshmallows at PDS before tossing the bag to Team 3D while Kiyoshi recovers from the punch.*

Kiyoshi: Warrior.

Devon:Hey Naito's back up.

Jesse:But that's.... nevermind.

JH:Hey whats all this bout Marshmallows now?
CD:And wasn't dat Japanees guy dead?

Sabin: Those marshmallows are almost gone boys. PDS is fighting over the last few left.

Shelley: If you hurry you can get two or three.

Neal:So we're just gonna ignore those guys with the Sticks who are planning to horribly beat us?

D-von:f***'em
Ray:Yep
Mmm-hmm

Like a Fat f*** a Canadian Queer and Fake Hardcore Bitch are gonna beat us?

Petey: Well first we're starting with Lashley.

Joe: And once we're done with him, we're moving on to the rest of you.
Roxxi: One, by one, by one...

Sabin: Don't worry Sarita baby, I won't let Roxxi touch a hair on your head.

Shelley: How manly of you to stand up to a woman.

Sabin: She's got a kendo stick.

Shelley: Good point.

Feh that little Canadian f***s used to having a big pole in his hands isn't he?
Bet its the first Time Joe's been in the front though

JH:Hur Hur Hur
CD:He called Y'all gay
JH:Ya Fairies
CD:Not that theres anything wrong with that
JH:Course

Petey: You wanna make gay jokes?!
Go ahead, make all the little jokes you want old man. It'll make beating the hell out of you that much better.

Joe: You know, we could dispose of the formalities and just begin beating the piss out of you.
Roxxi: And trust us, we would love to turn you fat boys into dough.
Joe: But we'll give you one last chance to save yourselves from eating through a tube for the next few weeks.

Lashley: Shut up you bath-

*The sound of a kendo stick being cracked over Lashley's skull echoes throughout the hall. Lashley crumples to the ground, bleeding profusely and Roxxi stands over him.*
Roxxi: Who else wants some!?!

*Taz enters, tosses a towel onto Lashley's wound, and walks out.*

Is that it?
Thats f***ing it!?
f***ING PATHETIC
YOU FAT f***S AND ARE A f***ING EMBARASSMENT TO HARDCORE
OOOOOOHHHH I CAN SWING ME A STICK!
BIG f***ING DEAL I'VE EATEN MEN AND DRUNK THERE BLOOD
I'VE BROKEN NECKS AND USED MY f***ING GIRLFREIND AS A SHEILD!
I'VE TAKEN BELTS AND DEATH THREATS AND WIPED MY ASS WITH THEM THEN EATEN THEM

IN MY DAY TWO f***ING WIMPS LIKE YOU COULD'NT GET IN THE ARENA UNLESS PAT PATTERSON HAD HIS ARM AROUND THE BOTH OF YOU AND YOUR LITTLE GIRLFREIND COULD'NT GET IN BECAUSE EVEN A BLIND MAN CAN SMELL HER COMING

Joe: Oh, so you want to see some real violence old man?
WELL DO YA?
SEE, WE DON'T NEED THESE KENDO STICKS TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU AND ANYONE ELSE HERE!
WE'VE TAKEN OUT MEN BEFORE, AND WE WILL DO IT AGAIN IF WE HAVE TO!
YOU WANT TO TRY US OLD MAN?
DO YA?!
THEN MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE YOU f***ING FOSSIL!

*Sabin turn to Shane Douglas*
It's funny how you admit to all this, and yet you haven't been locked up.

Chris, it's wrestling man. Nothing needs to make sense.

Good point.

You want the First Move Double D's?

*Franchise grabs a Marshmallow out of the bag and pegs Joe right between the Eyes*
EAT IT UP SWEET-TITS AND WHEN YOUR DONE REPORT OVER HERE FOR YOUR ASS-WHIPPIN!

*Bruno Sassi drops the Marshmallow Bag as Tilly Chugs his Beer down and crushes the can against his head*
Tilly:Ever been to a real Rush Week Fatboy?
Sassi:Cause we're gonna beat you like a Pledge

Petey: You two WENT to college? I call bullshit.

Joe: A f***ING MARSHMALLOW!?!
ALL THOSE YEARS OF BEING "HARDCORE", AND YOU USE A MARSHMALLOW TO START A FIGHT?!
WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU YA WUSS!
HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW YOU START A f***ING FIGHT!
*Joe winds up and swings for the fences, but Douglas ducks and Kiyoshi takes the blow. Joe goes for another swing, but Douglas ducks again and Curry Man falls to the ground.*
TAKE THIS BEATING LIKE A MAN!
*Joe goes for another swing, but Jesse Neal walks into his path and goes down.*

Jesse:I tink mah jaw is broddem.
Homicide:Who cares.

Devon:Yujiro and Naito went down again!

Sassi:LES GET THE SMALL ONE!
*Sassi charges at Williams who sidesteps and laughs as Sassi slams a Recovering Bobby Lashley to the ground*
Tilly:YOU f*** UP DO IT LINEBACKER STYLE!
*Tilly lunges with his head tucked low at Petey who leapfrogs over and Tilly nearly breaks Kip James in half*

Petey: Gotta come quicker than that fat boys!

*Meanwhile, Joe keeps swinging at Shane and missing while Shelley turns to Sabin.*
We should really start to help.

You go and do that. I'll stand guard and protect Sarita.

Wait just a minute. You're gonna make me fight you battle while you get close to a woman?

Hey, I'm protecting her from that psycho Roxxi. What are YOU doing, you lazy ass?

I'm this close to leaving, I really am.
*Shelley charges into the rumble, knocking down Jesse Neal.*

..... Why?

About time you got some action
Speaking of aren't you going in there Chris?

Uh... if you want me to go, then I guess.
You can handle these crazy chicks, right?

The One's Roxxi is beating with a Kendo Stick currently?
I'd assume so
Plus I have my Big Brothers to protect me

Well, if you say so...
And we're still on for dinner and a movie.
*Sabin charges in, using a downed Lashley as a launch pad before diving at Curry Man.*
TRY TO COCKBLOCK ME WILL YA?

*Sabin leaps right into a Kendo Stick to the Mouth from Petey he goes down*
HA ONE DOWN
*Petey then turns around into a Double Spear from Lashley and Sassi*

Sassi:TWENTY THREE RUNNING YARDS BITCH!
*Suddenly Alex Shelly comes out of Nowhere and Nails Sassi with Sliced Bread No.2 off Lashley's back*

OH MY GOD YOU KILLED BRUNO!

YOU BATHTUR-

*Shelly nails a Spin Kick right to Lashley's Mush*
SHUT UP THEY'LL SUE!

*Shelly charges Joe but is grabbed up and Spinebustered straight through a Table*

DON'T YOU PASS OUT THE PAIN'S ONLY BEGUN PRETTY BO-

*Suddenly Joe's Eye's cross and he falls forward to reveal The Franchise standing behind with a Moist Sock that's dripping Red*
FRANCHISE NEVER WON ANYTHING CLEAN FAT BOY
Here you might be able get that put back on
*The Franchise drops the Sock on Jesse Neal who's rocking back and forth clutching between his legs*
Neal:AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHH YOUR A f***ING PSYCHOPATH MAN
YOU BIT IT OFF YOU f***ING LUNATIC!!!!!!

Quit crying that's happened to the Franchise so many times now he's lost count

*Douglas is then caned in the back of head by Sarita*
QUICK GET HIM
GET HIM!
*The Franchise is suddenly swarmed by Homicide and Team 3D who begin stomping the Piss out of Him*

Tilly:YOU ALL GET THE HELL OFFA HIM!
*3D turn around and get Ray gets blasted in the head with a Leather Belt then D-von does as well*
HA!

MIERDA!
RUN!
*Sarita drops the Cane and runs*
*Homicide goes to do the same but he runs straight into The James Gang who lift him up and Slam right on the Back of his head with a Double Uranage*

*The Camera then pans out to Sarita who's being lifted up in a Surfboard Torture Rack by Cheerleader Melissa while Trisha and Josie are stomping Kiyoshi*

*Tilly looks around at the James Gang and the Cheerleaders and all the other fallen wrestlers*
Tilly:HOLY CRAP WE WI-GURK
*Suddenly an Arm wraps around Tilly's throat and Samoa Joe falls back and locks him into the Coquina Clutch*

Hey wha-
*Kip and BG are suddenly Low-Blowed from behind by Petey Williams who then Leapfrog's over them AND CANADIAN DESTROYERS THEM BOTH!!!!!~
*Meanwhile Roxxi laughs and holds her bloody Kendo Stick up over the Three Fallen Cheerleaders and Sarita*
*Joe,Petey and Roxxi stand over all the fallen wrestlers and laugh when suddenly........................

























YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE---------------HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
*Jethro Holliday,Cody Deaner and ODB come flying over the Catering Table riding a Floor Buffer*
CD:GET RIDDA BALDIE BABY!
*ODB leaps off the Buffer and Plants Roxxi with a Flying Lou Thesz Press*

*Deaner then leaps off and goes for a Running Yakuza Kick on Williams who rolls to the side and goes for a Dropkick but Deaner distracts Petey by jamming his Lit Cigarette into Petey's Eye he then Leap's up Hooks his Leg behind Petey's head AND PLANTS HIM INTO THE GROUND!!!!!~

*Holliday and Joe square off with each other before charging they start laying into each other with Chops and Right Hands before Joe hits a Knee right into Jethro's Sternum then Lifts him up into a Powerbomb BUT JETHRO HOOKS HIS LEGS AND PLANTS JOE RIGHT ONTO HIS HEAD WITH THE ACE OF SPADES!!!!

*Holliday,Deaner and ODB stand over all the Carnage and look around*
JH:Now what?
CD:Dunno


*Taz wanders in and hands each of them a beer can*

JH:That works too

WCTNA IMPACT RETURNS AT QUARTER PAST

[MikeyMania]

Don: Un-freaking-believable.
Mike: Let's try to focus on this next match. Robert Roode has chosen to stay backstage for it.
Don: I don't blame him not wanting to get involved.
Mike: However, he will be in the Gauntlet for the Gold as well as Storm and Morgan.



JB: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Fairfield, Connecticut, weighing 330 pounds, The Blueprint, Matt Morgan!



JB: His opponent, from Leiper's Fork, Tennessee, weighing 230 pounds, being accompanied by Jacqueline, James Storm!

3 Votes to Win, 10 Minute Time Limit

[Deleted]

Storm with a Bulldog

[Perpetual Nirvana]

That promo...They should've sent a poet. So beautiful.

Oh and Storm with Double knee backbreaker.