Post by hypnoticgenes on Nov 18, 2009 19:40:11 GMT -5
From Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader's printing of a 1979 issue of The Journal of Irreproducible Results.
Step 1: First, obtain about 50kg (110lbs) of weapons-grade Plutonium at your local supplier.
Step 2: Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with soap and water after handling,and don't let children or pets play in it or eat it.
Step 3: Fashion a metal enclosure to house the device. Most varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this enclosure as, for example, a briefcase,a lunch pail, or a Buick. DO NOT USE TIN FOIL.
Step 4: Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispherical shapes, separated by about 4 cm.
Step 5: Now get 100lbs (220kgs) of TNT. Gelignite is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful hardware man will be happy to provide you with this item.
Step 6: Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, feel free to use TNT packed in Play-Doh or any modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy.
Step 7: Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure made in step 3. Use super glue to bind the hemisphere arangement against the enclosure to prevent accidental detonation.
Step 8: To detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo mechanism, as found in RC model airplanes and cars. Detonator caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local supermarket.
Step 9: Now hide the completed device from your neighbors. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity and the extreme range of temperatured experienced there. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink will be perfectly suitable.
Step 10: Now you are the proud owner of a working thermonuclear device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch, can be used for national defense, or to keep pesky neighborhood pets off your yard.
Step 1: First, obtain about 50kg (110lbs) of weapons-grade Plutonium at your local supplier.
Step 2: Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with soap and water after handling,and don't let children or pets play in it or eat it.
Step 3: Fashion a metal enclosure to house the device. Most varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this enclosure as, for example, a briefcase,a lunch pail, or a Buick. DO NOT USE TIN FOIL.
Step 4: Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispherical shapes, separated by about 4 cm.
Step 5: Now get 100lbs (220kgs) of TNT. Gelignite is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful hardware man will be happy to provide you with this item.
Step 6: Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, feel free to use TNT packed in Play-Doh or any modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy.
Step 7: Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure made in step 3. Use super glue to bind the hemisphere arangement against the enclosure to prevent accidental detonation.
Step 8: To detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo mechanism, as found in RC model airplanes and cars. Detonator caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local supermarket.
Step 9: Now hide the completed device from your neighbors. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity and the extreme range of temperatured experienced there. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink will be perfectly suitable.
Step 10: Now you are the proud owner of a working thermonuclear device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch, can be used for national defense, or to keep pesky neighborhood pets off your yard.
