Children And Swearing...

[biafra]

So, my son is starting to develop his own tastes in music and this year I wanted to buy him not only an ipod but his very first CD that he could claim as *his*.

He has gotten really into Linken Park so I decided I'd get him that one..especially since most of his other favorites come from my collection anyway. My wife and I (not knowing a whole lot about the band because we aren't fans) were discussing which "version" we would get him..the edited or the regular one.

Both of us decided rather quickly that we would never purchase a censored album for him, for the simple reason we have brought them up to understand that the concept of one group of words being forbidden and wrong while another group that mean the exact same thing are ok is pretty outdated and irrational.

We do back that up with some qualifications..

1. No matter how silly it is you're still expected in this society to speak a certain way in public, and in the interest of not constantly being in trouble we still have to moderate our language sometimes.

2. Even though the idea of certain words being forbidden is silly words themselves can still be used in a very negative and hurtful manner and that is something they shouldn't do regardless of which word they choose to use to convey the emotion.

For example...I tell them saying "hey that kid is fat and ugly" is a hell of a lot worse than stumping your toe and calling the rock a motherf***er.

3. Any time any word (good or bad) is used too much by a person it makes the person look like an idiot. No matter is it's "f***" or "dude" or something... just because you should be free to say certain words doesn't mean your entire vocabulary should consist of it.

Anyways..that's my take it. I know there are a lot of people who would see it as bad parenting or something for not grounding a child for using what is conventionally called foul language but I don't see it.

[Wolfpack Bitch]

I dunno.. I'm kinda torn by this. I've had issues with my kid (7) and music / video games. Not so much on my end per say, but on the father's end.

When D. became old enough to understand music lyrics, I changed what I listened to around him. Used to be the alternative rock / hard rock station.. I changed to country.

On the other side of things, his father gives him an MP3 player and allows him to listen to the song Independent, by Ludacris I believe. His father listens to rap / hip hop around him and I know those songs are just littered with not only cuss words, but very suggestive language. His father also lets him play Grand Theft Auto with the volume off

Now, I know my kid is aware of what words are bad and what he's not allowed to say. He chews me out when I swear and gets up set when I say the K word (Crap) and the I word (Idiot). He doesn't swear. He's a very smart kid and is aware of things like that around him. At this point, I allow him to watch R rated movies, turning his head when the nudity comes about and he just ignores the swears.


Personally, I hate hate hate censored CDs and the radio safe versions of songs. Won't buy CDs from Wal Mart anymore because of that. Currently, I'm pissed that come of the radio stations censor the song Toes. "I've got my toes in the water, ass in the sand." to "I've got my toes in the water, toes in the sand." Lame. Also mutes the word "fat" in "roll a big _____ one".

Stupid PMRC and other organizations that censor things.

[Deleted]

Nov 29, 2009 19:42:18 GMT -5 Wolfpack Bitch said:

Stupid PMRC and other organizations that censor things.

The thing about that is that the RIAA (who does the whole Parental Advisory thing) doesn't actually require it.

It's entirely the artist's choice.

[biafra]

He isn't allowed to play GTA and I won't buy him some music too..but it's not because of the language.

Mostly violence, and sometimes if the artist conveys a message I won't spend money on so my child can hear it.

When he is old enough where I'm sure he can keep art and fantasy seperate from reality I'll open it up more..but again.it has nothing to do with language.

[Allie Kitsune]

I'm always the Devil's Advocate on these things, and it makes me look like an awful person, but my ex-landlord, his wife is basically what happens when someone takes it too far on the "Let the kids swear and listen to suggestive music/watch suggestive movies/etc." issue.

She actually TRAINED and ENCOURAGED her daughter to swear at people from a very young age, because she thought it was incredibly funny having a young child curse at adults, and she'd just laugh and say "MY child doesn't take shit from ANYONE!".

There has to be some sort of responsibility taken, and she certainly didn't take any.

[biafra]

Nov 29, 2009 19:53:03 GMT -5 Allie Kitsune said:

I'm always the Devil's Advocate on these things, and it makes me look like an awful person, but my ex-landlord, his wife is basically what happens when someone takes it too far on the "Let the kids swear and listen to suggestive music/watch suggestive movies/etc." issue.

She actually TRAINED and ENCOURAGED her daughter to swear at people from a very young age, because she thought it was incredibly funny having a young child curse at adults, and she'd just laugh and say "MY child doesn't take s*** from ANYONE!".

There has to be some sort of responsibility taken, and she certainly didn't take any.

Which is really no where near the same thing as my situation is it?

Comparing apples and oranges really.

[BK From WV]

It's really up to you as the parent what you are comfortable letting your children listen to or watch. Myself,I actually only buy edited cd's because I don't want to hear the language. Of course,most of what I listen to doesn't have cursing in it anyway but in that rare instance that it may,I pick up the edited copy if there is one. That's me though. Different people have different views obviously.

[Koda, Master Crunchyroller]

When I have kids, I'm going to raise them on Nintendo...and SEGA, but mostly Nintendo. Once they turn 13(why 13? Well by then they will have seen enough stuff on TV and the internet), I'll let them play M rated games, and if they LIKE those kind of games, then, well, as long as they don't turn into that kid who shot his parents for taking away his copy of Halo 3, then I'll be happy.

[HMARK Center]

How much swearing or whatever affects your child, it seems, stems mostly from how you parent them in other facets of their lives.

My family swears. A lot. My father's family is 100% Sicilian, and when the whole family would be over for Sunday dinner, you'd hear a barrage of F's and S's or whatever else you want to imagine, even when my grandmother was still alive. Hell, normally it was my grandmother swearing the loudest.

However, I did not swear as a kid for a LONG time. Why is that? Mostly because my parents were not cool with me using those words, and let me know so. Yes, THEY could use them, but A) never in anger towards me or my brother, and B) they were adults, and knew that there were situations where those words were acceptable, and times they were not.

Basically, they pounded it into my brain that swearing is not something that can be done all the time, and I knew that if a report from school ever came home that I had sworn in class, I'd be dead meat.

However, at the same time, I was still allowed to watch shows like the Simpsons (which, granted, never went beyond saying "ass") and movies that had swearing in them...but because of the parenting I received, I didn't go around spouting off every curse word I heard to anybody who'd listen.

I can't really comment on music, though; I was raised on The Beatles, Beach Boys, Billy Joel, Broadway shows (lot of B's in there, huh?) and mostly artists who didn't swear much to begin with, with a couple exceptions here and there.

[Man Moth?]

I don't have children yet, so I cannot comment on what I do, however, when I have children I believe I would be a little strict on swearing. Swearing doesn't offend me and I do swear when it calls for it, but to me, if swearing is used every third or fourth word I will automatically assume you're an idiot. There are myriad words to choose from in order to better illustrate your point and falling back on f*** does not have to suffice.

[AriadosMan]

You know, F*** has lost the edge it used to have. There was a time when "this sucks" was considered a horrific swear. Now, people use it like water. Eventually, the word will degenerate into what "ass" is now and get replaced by a worse curse. To me, its not so much the language used as the edge of malice/contempt. Of course some things aren't acceptable in professional conversation, so what should really be taught is WHY and WHEN certain words should not be used rather than just classifying somethign as "bad in all situations".

[Dr. T is an alien]

My two youngest (8 and 10) don't ever care to listen to anything remotely racy, though since they follow their mother's taste in top 40 music they do hear some fairly trashy pop songs. My 14 year old step-son, however, actually actively seeks my opinion in music. That means that I can steer him towards decent metal tunes, classic rock, and some of the best new stuff that I have heard. Granted, some metal isn't exactly fairy tales, but at least his tastes don't run towards the truly vulgar and distasteful.

[Back to being Cenanuff]

Wait, when did Crap become a bad word? I've been using that word all my life in polite society...well maybe not polite, but society...and it's been only recently that people started thinking of it as a bad word. Why?

[Bo Rida]

The chances are every kid that's more than 8 years old knows the main swear words, with the probable exception of the C word.

Personally my Dad told me not to swear around women and that it was only really acceptable when we went to football, even then I shouldn't unless it's part of a song.

My Nan however constantly used swear words before saying "excuse my French", although like Cenasnore she never considered crap a swear word and would say so every time she let it slip, therefore that's the view I have too.

[Avalanche Alvarez]

I don't think it's cute and it does reflect on a child's upbringing if they're out in public swearing. I started around 12 and I've developed quite a vocabulary but it's not something I'm too proud of.