The Firefly universe was good for a number of funny lines.
*Jayne gets ready to shoot Niska's thug that is fighting with Malcolm.*
Zoe: No. This is something the captain has to do for himself.
Malcolm: [straining] No! No he doesn't!
Zoe: Oh.
*Zoe, Jayne, and Wash start pumping lead into the aforementioned thug*
Inara: Mal, what are you doing here?
Malcolm: You invited me.
Inara: I never thought for a second you'd be stupid enough to come!
Malcolm: [grinning] Well that makes you a tease.
Jayne: I won't get et! You shoot me if they take me!
*Mal aims pistol squarely at Jayne*
Jayne: Well, don't shoot me first!
Malcolm: Do you want to run this ship?
Jayne: Yes!
Malcolm: [caught off guard] Well... you can't...
Malcolm: What in the hell happened back there?
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl 'cause... I don't think that's ever getting old.
Kaylee: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!
Malcolm: Oh, God! I can't *know* that!
Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more.
Wash: "Everything looks good from here... (beat...playing with plastic dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive."
(as Stegosaurus) "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."
(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"
(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"
Jayne: "Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."
Jayne: "Testing, testing. Captain, can you hear me?"
Mal: "I'm standing right here."
Jayne: "You're coming through good and loud."
Mal: " 'Cause I'm standing right here."
Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
Jayne: "These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me."
Wash: (Off an alarm sounding from the console) "Closing in."
Zoe: "Planet's coming up a mite fast."
Wash: "That's just cause I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all."
Mal: "Well, that happens, let me know."
Harrow: "You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten... and yet breathing? It makes him a coward."
Inara: "It's humiliation."
Mal: "Sure. It would be humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (lightly stabs Atherton with the sword) Guess I'm just a good man. (stabs him again) Well, I'm all right."
Zoe: "You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?"
Mal: "What? Come on, seriously, Zoe. Whaddya think?"
Zoe: "Honestly, sir? I think you got robbed."
Mal: "Robbed? What? No. What do you mean?"
Zoe: "It's a piece of fei-oo." [fei-oo. = junk]
Mal: "Fei-oo? Okay, she won't be winning any beauty contests anytime soon. But she's solid. Ship like this, be with ya 'til the day you die."
Zoe: "Cause it's a deathtrap."
Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."
