smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Dec 12, 2009 13:14:57 GMT -5
[Skinner is explaining why the NWA had Martin Blower murdered] Simon Skinner: You see, much as I enjoyed your wild theories Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of his being... an appalling actor.
NWA Members: [echoing in agreement] Appalling.
Nicholas Angel: You murdered him for that?
Simon Skinner: He murdered Bill Shakespeare.
Nicholas Angel: What? Oh.
Annette Roper: Martin Blower was less concerned with the reputation of the village than he was with his sordid affair with Eve Draper!
Nicholas Angel: So Eve deserved to die too?
Dr. Robin Hatcher: Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.
NWA Members: [echoing in agreement] Annoying.
Nicholas Angel: George Merchant?
Simon Skinner: He had in awful house.
NWA Members: [echoing in agreement] Awful.
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Post by Dr. Mantis Toboggan on Dec 12, 2009 13:17:20 GMT -5
It's so self-absorbed and egotistical, like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes!" -George Costanza
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Dec 12, 2009 14:35:53 GMT -5
Ted: And you know what else? I quit! Dr. Kelso: No you don't! Ted: Well I'm leaving early today! Dr. Kelso: No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work! Ted: Fine, but I'm getting a soda first! Dr. Kelso: Whatever.
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Post by Pervy Stone Cold on Dec 12, 2009 14:38:26 GMT -5
Eustace and Courage the Cowardly Dog are in a truck driving somewhere and Eustace sees a hamburger joint.
Eustace (to Courage): "You are hungry, ehhhh?..... Stupid dog!!"
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Post by Young Game on Dec 12, 2009 16:32:50 GMT -5
The Young Ones are at a funeral: Mrs. Smiley: "Do you dig graves?" Neil: "Yeah. They're all right. Yeah." ____________________________
From "The Kids In The Hall": "Sausages! We...are all....sausages!" _____________________________
"No. We can't stop here. This is bat country!" "It's okay. He's just admiring the shape of your skull." "PLEASE. TELL ME ABOUT THE F****** GOLF SHOES!" "Cows are gonna kill me! Bisexuals are gonna kill me!" __________________________________________
"Protection?! Protection from what? Zee Germans?" "How are those sausages comin', Charlie?"
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Dec 12, 2009 18:53:28 GMT -5
Gwen: Have you ever eaten alien meat? Jack: Yeah. Gwen: What was it like? Jack: He seemed to enjoy it.
My favourite Torchwood joke.
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Post by Shy Guy on Dec 12, 2009 20:03:35 GMT -5
"What the hell, all you have in here is Rush. There's no variety."
"Rush IS variety. Bitch."
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Post by Apricots And A Pear Tree on Dec 12, 2009 21:05:18 GMT -5
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f****** Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a****** this side of the nuthouse.
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Dec 13, 2009 0:08:42 GMT -5
The Dude: f*** sympathy! I don't need your f***in' sympathy, man, I need my f***ing johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2009 0:09:49 GMT -5
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f****** Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a****** this side of the nuthouse. You're goofy.
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Post by Alucard on Dec 13, 2009 3:10:19 GMT -5
Hiro: I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM! *grabs Ando* Card Shark: You two use the bathroom together? Ando: Yes, that is how we roll.
Heroes, Season one.
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Post by Jackson "The Cool" Carter on Dec 13, 2009 3:23:50 GMT -5
Despite it being one of their worst episodes, Principal and the Pauper had atleast two awesome exhanges:
Lisa: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Bart: Not if you called 'em stench blossoms. Homer: Or crapweeds. Marge: I'd sure hate to get a dozen crapweeds for Valentine's Day. I'd rather have candy. Homer: Not if they were called scumdrops.
Homer: Okay, once more. Where are we going? Edna: To Capital City. Homer: And why are you and the old lady in the car? Agnes: We're gonna talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back. Homer: And why is Marge here? Marge: I came up with the idea. Homer: And why am I here? Marge: Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies. Homer: Why are the kids here? Marge: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them. Homer: And why is Grandpa here? Grandpa: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself! Homer: Fair enough.
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Post by laughytaffy on Dec 13, 2009 3:47:33 GMT -5
Leela: So long jerkwads!
Professor Farnsworth: So long! *waves*
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Post by A Dubya (El Hombre Muerto) on Dec 13, 2009 4:18:03 GMT -5
"The first thing I'm going to do is kill your Mexican friend here." "I'm Cuban, B!" "Yes! Cuban B!" "I wanna talk to Sampson!! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alex Graham. Cause it's hard being young and gifted!"
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,321
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Dec 13, 2009 11:03:23 GMT -5
"Hey, it's a painting again." - Jon Lovitz, stating the obvious, The Stepford Wives
"Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch." - Spike, explaining what he's doing in five words or less, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
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Post by Munkie91087 on Dec 13, 2009 13:36:00 GMT -5
Bart: "Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!!" Marge: "HOMER!!" Homer: "In this house, we have a little word called please."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2009 13:59:32 GMT -5
Bart: "Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!!" Marge: "HOMER!!" Homer: "In this house, we have a little word called please." I'm more of a fan of the exchange after it. Bart: Those are all good points, but the problem is they don't resulting me getting the game. Homer: I know how you feel, Bart. When I was your age, I wanted an electric football game more than anything in the world. And my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. *pauses* Well, good night. *walks out*Now for my favorite... Homer: He has all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy? Marge: What's that? *Homer thinks for a second*Homer: Umm...a dinosaur.
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Post by The Summer of Muskrat XVII on Dec 13, 2009 14:09:58 GMT -5
"The first thing I'm going to do is kill your Mexican friend here." "I'm Cuban, B!" "Yes! Cuban B!" "I wanna talk to Sampson!! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alex Graham. Cause it's hard being young and gifted!" Hate to be "that guy" but it's Alice Kramden, from the Honeymooners not Alex Graham
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Bub (BLM)
Patti Mayonnaise
advocates duck on rodent violence
Fed. Up.
Posts: 37,742
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Post by Bub (BLM) on Dec 13, 2009 15:03:47 GMT -5
"Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch." - Spike, explaining what he's doing in five words or less, Buffy The Vampire Slayer The way he pauses after "walk" and then emphasizes the word "bitch" makes that line hilarious.
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Post by Lazy peon on Dec 13, 2009 15:16:49 GMT -5
I WAS FROZEN, TO-DAY
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