Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2009 22:22:27 GMT -5
Found this and thought I'd share, in case anyone's interested. Here's a link to the original review if anyone would rather read it there, and if you go to his website here he's also got reviews of See No Evil, The Marine, The Condemned, Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia, and 12 Rounds on there.
THE MARINE 2 drinking game: take a shot whenever Ted DiBiase says "powder monkey".
When last we left off with THE MARINE John Cena's wife had been kidnapped by the T-1000 and half the state of South Carolina got blown up as he set about getting her back. John Cena was too busy playing I-can't-believe-it's-not-DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE in New Orleans to return as superhuman marine John Triton so this time we get everyman marine Joe Linwood attending the opening of a Southeast Asian island resort with his young blonde wife who works for the super rich industrialist that developed the locale; armed separatists that want nothing to do with the encroaching scourge of Western civilization take everyone hostage except for the marine and you better believe he puts his skills to good use.
I've joked in the past about how Vince McMahon appears to want to be the Golan-Globus for the 21st century and never has that comparison been more appropriate than with THE MARINE 2, a genuine throwback to the golden days of action cinema about steel-jawed white military men laying waste to thralls of non-white freedom-hating foreigners. THE MARINE 2 comes across as a slicker version of the low rent Cannon produced actioners shot in the Philippines back in the Seventies and Eighties - except in one very important respect. There's a very good reason why we still fondly remember over the top Reagan era action flicks like COMMANDO and AMERICAN NINJA and INVASION USA and modern b-action movies like THE MARINE 2 are doomed to be totally forgotten about less than an hour after you finish watching it.
You don't go into a film such as THE MARINE 2 with lofty expectations. We've seen variations of this very movie a million times before, which is to be expected since, if you stop and think about it, WWE has yet to produce a single motion picture that from a plot standpoint wasn't just a cliched riff on a previously successful action movie premise. As a fan of cheesy Eighties action flicks I was more than prepared to enjoy THE MARINE 2 assuming it delivered the action goods. The moment the main villain made his first appearance wearing this half-and-half skull mask looking like a bad guy straight out of an old GI Joe cartoon I got my hopes up that this sequel wouldn't be another unimaginative bore like WWE's last foray in direct-to-DVD action moviemaking, BEHIND ENEMY LINES: COLUMBIA. Then that bad guy quickly discards the mask and becomes just another generic movie terrorist in a generic action movie. Movie over.
Once again WWE Studios have cranked out a strictly by-the-numbers action flick damned determined to avoid setting foot into territory that could be described as cheesy. The closest it ever comes to being fun is a three-way fight during which our marine hero proves that his special brand of dropkick fu is vastly superior to these puny Asians and their traditional kung fu. Had the rest of the tame R-rated action (90% fewer fireballs than the original, 75% more slow motion) been as lively as that one sequence the rest could be more easily forgiven. As hopelessly idiotic as THE MARINE was, part of me missed that inanity because this sequel, while most definitely a more competently made movie, has no personality, no humor, and no camp value - much like its star.
It's not so much that Ted DiBiase (Don't call him "Jr." WWE hate's juniors) is a bad actor; he's a non-actor. He lifelessly recites quick bursts of dialogue and makes a facial expression or two on occasion, but acting - acting is a bit involved than this. Never is this more obvious than in the few scenes he has with Michael Rooker, an always reliable film veteran stuck in a nothing role that still manages to run circles around DiBiase. Even in the heat of battle he still comes across as an uncharismatic stiff going through the rehearsed motions. Lord knows you don't have to be a good actor to be an action hero but having an ounce of screen charisma is certainly a plus. Why WWE chose Ted DiBiase to star is beyond me. Was there nobody else on their roster that fit the mold for the part of a young marine? It's not like DiBiase is the big a star on their roster to begin with.
The least they could have done was stunt cast DiBiase's more famous dad and had him do his Million Dollar Man routine in the role of the arrogant rich resort owner/developer. Imagine him offering to give the terrorists the money they demand if the leader can bounce a basketball ten times only for DiBiase Sr. to kick the ball away after the ninth dribble. Then the terrorists lay waste to him in a hail of gunfire. Would have at least made THE MARINE 2 entertaining for a few minutes.
When last we left off with THE MARINE John Cena's wife had been kidnapped by the T-1000 and half the state of South Carolina got blown up as he set about getting her back. John Cena was too busy playing I-can't-believe-it's-not-DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE in New Orleans to return as superhuman marine John Triton so this time we get everyman marine Joe Linwood attending the opening of a Southeast Asian island resort with his young blonde wife who works for the super rich industrialist that developed the locale; armed separatists that want nothing to do with the encroaching scourge of Western civilization take everyone hostage except for the marine and you better believe he puts his skills to good use.
I've joked in the past about how Vince McMahon appears to want to be the Golan-Globus for the 21st century and never has that comparison been more appropriate than with THE MARINE 2, a genuine throwback to the golden days of action cinema about steel-jawed white military men laying waste to thralls of non-white freedom-hating foreigners. THE MARINE 2 comes across as a slicker version of the low rent Cannon produced actioners shot in the Philippines back in the Seventies and Eighties - except in one very important respect. There's a very good reason why we still fondly remember over the top Reagan era action flicks like COMMANDO and AMERICAN NINJA and INVASION USA and modern b-action movies like THE MARINE 2 are doomed to be totally forgotten about less than an hour after you finish watching it.
You don't go into a film such as THE MARINE 2 with lofty expectations. We've seen variations of this very movie a million times before, which is to be expected since, if you stop and think about it, WWE has yet to produce a single motion picture that from a plot standpoint wasn't just a cliched riff on a previously successful action movie premise. As a fan of cheesy Eighties action flicks I was more than prepared to enjoy THE MARINE 2 assuming it delivered the action goods. The moment the main villain made his first appearance wearing this half-and-half skull mask looking like a bad guy straight out of an old GI Joe cartoon I got my hopes up that this sequel wouldn't be another unimaginative bore like WWE's last foray in direct-to-DVD action moviemaking, BEHIND ENEMY LINES: COLUMBIA. Then that bad guy quickly discards the mask and becomes just another generic movie terrorist in a generic action movie. Movie over.
Once again WWE Studios have cranked out a strictly by-the-numbers action flick damned determined to avoid setting foot into territory that could be described as cheesy. The closest it ever comes to being fun is a three-way fight during which our marine hero proves that his special brand of dropkick fu is vastly superior to these puny Asians and their traditional kung fu. Had the rest of the tame R-rated action (90% fewer fireballs than the original, 75% more slow motion) been as lively as that one sequence the rest could be more easily forgiven. As hopelessly idiotic as THE MARINE was, part of me missed that inanity because this sequel, while most definitely a more competently made movie, has no personality, no humor, and no camp value - much like its star.
It's not so much that Ted DiBiase (Don't call him "Jr." WWE hate's juniors) is a bad actor; he's a non-actor. He lifelessly recites quick bursts of dialogue and makes a facial expression or two on occasion, but acting - acting is a bit involved than this. Never is this more obvious than in the few scenes he has with Michael Rooker, an always reliable film veteran stuck in a nothing role that still manages to run circles around DiBiase. Even in the heat of battle he still comes across as an uncharismatic stiff going through the rehearsed motions. Lord knows you don't have to be a good actor to be an action hero but having an ounce of screen charisma is certainly a plus. Why WWE chose Ted DiBiase to star is beyond me. Was there nobody else on their roster that fit the mold for the part of a young marine? It's not like DiBiase is the big a star on their roster to begin with.
The least they could have done was stunt cast DiBiase's more famous dad and had him do his Million Dollar Man routine in the role of the arrogant rich resort owner/developer. Imagine him offering to give the terrorists the money they demand if the leader can bounce a basketball ten times only for DiBiase Sr. to kick the ball away after the ninth dribble. Then the terrorists lay waste to him in a hail of gunfire. Would have at least made THE MARINE 2 entertaining for a few minutes.
