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Post by Neo Het Is Evil Dead on May 15, 2010 8:52:44 GMT -5
" So I just heard that I have a match against sparks this week which to be honest , I could care less about. Seriously this company would be lucky if I even showed up to match because of the way they've treated me. First off , my match is on Heatz? Really? Really?? I'm a star! I should be on PPV or at the very least my debut should be in the main event! Why the hell should someone as talented as me go out there and try to beat sparks? What do I get out of it? Bragging rights? Bragging rights over a drug-addict who probably dropped out of high school? That's what I get for signing with this company? Great because that's what my career is missing , a victory over a drop out. I mean come on! Yes I asked for a match with heavy metal Hollywood but I didn't think they were going to give me the most pathetic member of the entire group to wrestle and even if I thought they would , why the hell would I want to wrestle on monday niteraw or heatz? I want to wrestle on PPV , not some throw-away show on basic cable that like four million people watch. I wrestled on basic cable in college , I'm an adult. I want to be in the main event on the big shows and I want to fight people with actual talent , not some guy who got a grip of bio dome's coattails and held on to it for dear life. Honestly , do any of you people think that I care if sparks beat me? Because if you do , you might have serious brain damage. Look , Ali lost to Joe Frazier and no one thinks Frazier is better then Ali. Why? Because Ali is the greatest boxer of all time just like I'm the greatest wrestler of all time. It doesn't matter if I lose to sparks because ten years from now I'm going to be a four time world champion and no one is going know who spark is. Look at the facts ; This is the pinnacle of spark's career and no one outside of HMH and there fans know who he is while I , at the start of my career are taking phone calls from Larry king. Nobody cares about sparks and neither do I. Honestly , I kind of hope he beats me. Why? So he can actually feel like he's accomplished something for once in his pathetic miserable existence. I really hope that he can some how muster enough talent to defeat me so that his entire life isn't pointless dribble."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2010 17:27:47 GMT -5
" So I just heard that I have a match against sparks this week which to be honest , I could care less about. Seriously this company would be lucky if I even showed up to match because of the way they've treated me. First off , my match is on Heatz? Really? Really?? I'm a star! I should be on PPV or at the very least my debut should be in the main event! Why the hell should someone as talented as me go out there and try to beat sparks? What do I get out of it? Bragging rights? Bragging rights over a drug-addict who probably dropped out of high school? That's what I get for signing with this company? Great because that's what my career is missing , a victory over a drop out. I mean come on! Yes I asked for a match with heavy metal Hollywood but I didn't think they were going to give me the most pathetic member of the entire group to wrestle and even if I thought they would , why the hell would I want to wrestle on monday niteraw or heatz? I want to wrestle on PPV , not some throw-away show on basic cable that like four million people watch. I wrestled on basic cable in college , I'm an adult. I want to be in the main event on the big shows and I want to fight people with actual talent , not some guy who got a grip of bio dome's coattails and held on to it for dear life. Honestly , do any of you people think that I care if sparks beat me? Because if you do , you might have serious brain damage. Look , Ali lost to Joe Frazier and no one thinks Frazier is better then Ali. Why? Because Ali is the greatest boxer of all time just like I'm the greatest wrestler of all time. It doesn't matter if I lose to sparks because ten years from now I'm going to be a four time world champion and no one is going know who spark is. Look at the facts ; This is the pinnacle of spark's career and no one outside of HMH and there fans know who he is while I , at the start of my career are taking phone calls from Larry king. Nobody cares about sparks and neither do I. Honestly , I kind of hope he beats me. Why? So he can actually feel like he's accomplished something for once in his pathetic miserable existence. I really hope that he can some how muster enough talent to defeat me so that his entire life isn't pointless dribble." *VHS Video feedback* A cheap, shoddy-looking infomercial set is seen with various items wrestling related. There us a counter in the middle of the set. Sparks walks on screen looking around.* ...huh? What was that? OH! Hey there, (insert superstar name here). So, you are making your WWCF debut in a match against me. CONGRATULATIONS! Hope you go out there and have a great time! However, there are certain precautions to take when facing a wrestler. Be sure to where proper padding such as:*A list of items go down the screen in a cheap Star Wars credits video effect.* Elbow pads
Knee pads
Athletic wrist tape
Wrestling boots
Wrestling trunks or tights
A cool mask
and MUCH MUCH MORE!*Sparks is shown again shown again standing at the counter* It is also important to remember who exactly you are stepping in the squared circle with. There are MANY different types of wrestlers out there. You may be facing:A crazed sociopath
A quiet psychopath
A wanna-be rapper who became a crazed psychopath
A coward who hides his face with a crappy mask from Big Lots
A wrestler who has a fascination with spiders and bass guitars
A wrestler who lives in a boiler room
A wrestler who hangs out with monkeys
A lawyer who has an expertise in Indian black arts
And MANY MANY MORE!So what are ya waiting for! Get that ring gear on and get your ass kicked TODAY!*After the video ends, "Please switch to tape 2" comes on the screen*
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Post by dreamwarrior on May 15, 2010 17:32:49 GMT -5
M.O.P. This sunday on Heatz I take you on so far I am 0 for 2 and this week i plan to change that last week i took Titanonhere to the limits and I did not suceed but this sunday I am gonna take you to the limits I am gonna Give you the fight of your life Because I am not going to get fired see you on heatz.
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,073
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on May 15, 2010 23:39:46 GMT -5
*At WWCF HQ on a Phone*
Yes? good, so how is the trip been so far? Won a title? Good. Listen, I don't know when I can get you in here, but keep working on the job, and your stock will go up. Who knows, with you and Hangman, maybe I can make a big move on something......All right, bye.
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Post by Cyno on May 16, 2010 10:28:31 GMT -5
Dreamwarrior, looks like you're going one-on-one with the Paragon of Excellence this Sunday on Heatz!!1 Now, I don't know what wrestling gods you pissed off, but don't expect me to go easy on you because you're new. No one went easy on me when I first started and it took me awhile, too, to win my first match.
On a happier note, welcome back Colt! You didn't happen to bring Aaron Enigma back with you, did you? Because I know you guys were tight, and he hasn't been returning my calls. Or my emails. Or my tweets. It's like he disappeared off the face of the planet!
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Post by Neo Het Is Evil Dead on May 16, 2010 14:19:36 GMT -5
Dreamwarrior, looks like you're going one-on-one with the Paragon of Excellence this Sunday on Heatz!!1 Now, I don't know what wrestling gods you pissed off! As a wrestling god myself, I would like to note that it was not me who dream warrior pissed off to get booked into this match. I would also like to note that I belive it was frank trigg who dream warrior pissed off to get booked into this match.
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on May 17, 2010 9:08:09 GMT -5
So What do you say Drakin? I throw ludicrous amounts of money at you......Slap the Sivana Enterprises name and you stay in power as the Big Head Cheese. The only real difference is that I'd sign your check and otherwise......I'm Hands-Off, you do your own thing and I'll only be involved......minimally...hell....you won't even notice I'm there.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on May 17, 2010 10:21:26 GMT -5
So What do you say Drakin? I throw ludicrous amounts of money at you......Slap the Sivana Enterprises name and you stay in power as the Big Head Cheese. The only real difference is that I'd sign your check and otherwise......I'm Hands-Off, you do your own thing and I'll only be involved......minimally...hell....you won't even notice I'm there. Seth: Hmmmmmmmmm....................no
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Post by Tyfo on May 17, 2010 12:25:42 GMT -5
Like I said last week when I came back, I'm currently fielding offers from the various talk show hosts here in the WWCF to see just who wants my Money in the Bank cash in announcement. I have the date set in my mind and the only thing left to do is tell the world.
So who wants the scoop, and most importantly...what's it worth to your shows ratings?
As for tonight, DR Jackson, find whoever you want because it's not going to make any difference. When your facing the premiere tag team on this planet, your going to need every piece of help you can dig up. So go find one of your non friends or non enemies and give it what you've got tonight. Naitch and I will be ready.
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on May 17, 2010 13:37:25 GMT -5
So What do you say Drakin? I throw ludicrous amounts of money at you......Slap the Sivana Enterprises name and you stay in power as the Big Head Cheese. The only real difference is that I'd sign your check and otherwise......I'm Hands-Off, you do your own thing and I'll only be involved......minimally...hell....you won't even notice I'm there. Seth: Hmmmmmmmmm....................no Fine, ok then....I'll see myself out and a good day to you sir.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 17, 2010 13:41:53 GMT -5
So the WWCF Galaxy thinks that the Man in Black is stealing my mojo. They cite the loss of my Hardcore Championship to the Smokin' Vokoun and think that my Inter-Forum Championship is soon to follow.
Well let me, BRB, set all of you straight.
First, I get a rematch against the Smokin' Vokoun and we'll probably trade it back and forth because of the all of the rematches. I say good luck to anyone who thinks that they can get it off of either of our hands.
Secondly, you are treading into no man's land, Man in Black. You do not want to be my enemy. The Human Hate Machines will not secure my Inter-Forum Belt as long as I hold it, and you're not going to be the reason why I lose it!
In fact, how about you just unmask yourself next week and we settle this like men? No more beating around the bush. It's high time that we lock horns and find out who the better man is.
Until then, I am going to make an example out of the Revolution of Evolution Square when I swing my big, massive, pipe wrench into the Hero of Billions's skull and it'll be me, BRB, who gets the One, Two, Three!
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on May 17, 2010 18:49:50 GMT -5
You know SPORTS FANS....I've have had alot of things on my mind, you know. A lot of things goin' on in the WWCF that involve Ol' Smokey. You know Tim Hoss was right....ever since I joined the Family I've gotten alot of heat from all sides of the WWCF...of course I've always had heat in the WWCF...BUT NOW IT'S EVEN HOTTER!!!! Everybody wants to destory the big stupid mongrel in The Family...especially you HANGMAN!!! And let me tell you something, I've lost alot of sleep over it....no...not because I'm afraid what my well being...no....it's not because I'm afraid of The Hangman...IT'S BECAUSE I'M THINKIN' OF DIFFERENT WAYS TO HURT YA!!!! And I'm up to 32,922.....THAT'S A LOT OF WAYS TO HURT YA!!!! AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO YOUR LEGS!!! And this Monday night, you'll get a taste of me and Square you'll get a taste of the Big Boiler Room Brawler. Of course it's gonna be just a tag match....but I'm not really thinking about that...I'M SAVING THE TORTURE FOR CHAMPIONSHIP HEATZ HANGMAN!!!! And I don't want you to be afraid of me Hangman...I really don't. Because I'll only hurt you once....BECAUSE ONCE I DESTROY YOU...YOU'LL NEVER WANT TO FACE ME AGAIN!!!. But if you feel you need to challenge me more....I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR WISH....UNTIL YOU CAN'T WALK ANYMORE!!!! *He giggles and shrieks* Just think.....about that.[/color]
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Post by The Hangman on May 17, 2010 18:55:39 GMT -5
Yawn. Same olf tired crap of "WARGH, I'M EVIL AND INSANE! FEAR ME!" crap I've heard since day 1.
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on May 17, 2010 19:08:39 GMT -5
Yawn. Same olf tired crap of "WARGH, I'M EVIL AND INSANE! FEAR ME!" crap I've heard since day 1. Fine....be the prick that you really are. Because tonight and at Championship Heatz...YOU WILL LEARN TO RESPECT ME!!! You will not underestimate me. I've seen WWCF legends underestimate me but I can understand that now...but a nobody like you? Underestimating me is the worst mistake you've ever made in your soon to be short career.[/color]
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Post by The Hangman on May 17, 2010 19:11:18 GMT -5
Yawn. Same olf tired crap of "WARGH, I'M EVIL AND INSANE! FEAR ME!" crap I've heard since day 1. Fine....be the prick that you really are. Because tonight and at Championship Heatz...YOU WILL LEARN TO RESPECT ME!!! You will not underestimate me. I've seen WWCF legends underestimate me but I can understand that now...but a nobody like you? Underestimating me is the worst mistake you've ever made in your soon to be short career.[/color][/quote] You can beat a 14-foot tall Polar Bear with Hydothermia and on steroids, and I still wouldn't respect you because you are just some oily, sleazy trucker that got into wrestling to pay the bills, and get out of a diet of ham and eggs.
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on May 17, 2010 19:16:55 GMT -5
Fine....be the prick that you really are. Because tonight and at Championship Heatz...YOU WILL LEARN TO RESPECT ME!!! You will not underestimate me. I've seen WWCF legends underestimate me but I can understand that now...but a nobody like you? Underestimating me is the worst mistake you've ever made in your soon to be short career. [/color][/quote] You can beat a 14-foot tall Polar Bear with Hydothermia and on steroids, and I still wouldn't respect you because you are just some oily, sleazy trucker that got into wrestling to pay the bills, and get out of a diet of ham and eggs.[/quote] Hangman....just because I don't look like a greek god....just because I don't look like a superhero...JUST BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A FREAK.....doesn't mean that I'm not a wrestler. Yeah, I do this stuff for a living....I put my life on the line everynight because how I like it. And I'm not gonna let some prick like you take it away!! This Hardcore belt....is the fruit of my labors...with out this...I would die. So Hangman, if you think you can take this from me....you'll have to kill me.[/color]
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Post by The Hangman on May 17, 2010 19:18:33 GMT -5
You can beat a 14-foot tall Polar Bear with Hydothermia and on steroids, and I still wouldn't respect you because you are just some oily, sleazy trucker that got into wrestling to pay the bills, and get out of a diet of ham and eggs. Hangman....just because I don't look like a greek god....just because I don't look like a superhero...JUST BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A FREAK.....doesn't mean that I'm not a wrestler. Yeah, I do this stuff for a living....I put my life on the line everynight because how I like it. And I'm not gonna let some prick like you take it away!! This Hardcore belt....is the fruit of my labors...with out this...I would die. So Hangman, if you think you can take this from me....you'll have to kill me.[/color][/quote] Quite a tempting offer, I must admit.
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on May 17, 2010 19:25:55 GMT -5
Hangman....just because I don't look like a greek god....just because I don't look like a superhero...JUST BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A FREAK.....doesn't mean that I'm not a wrestler. Yeah, I do this stuff for a living....I put my life on the line everynight because how I like it. And I'm not gonna let some prick like you take it away!! This Hardcore belt....is the fruit of my labors...with out this...I would die. So Hangman, if you think you can take this from me....you'll have to kill me. [/color][/quote] Quite a tempting offer, I must admit.[/quote] Then at Championship Heatz you better come at me with a Machine Gun because that's the only way you can take my title.[/color]
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Post by The Hangman on May 17, 2010 19:28:11 GMT -5
Quite a tempting offer, I must admit. Then at Championship Heatz you better come at me with a Machine Gun because that's the only way you can take my title.[/color][/quote] *Calls up someone on a cell phone*
Hello, I'm looking for something in the 9mm range, light and easy to conceal, and I need it by Sunday. You got one ready? Great.
Oh, sorry, prank call. Ha ha ha.
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Post by delurked on May 19, 2010 5:34:48 GMT -5
A WWCF.com Exclusive:
Jerry Fish: I’m talking to Titanothere, the Monster of the Mesozoic Age. Let’s get right to it, Titan. Monday on NiteRaw you were humbled in your Inter Forum’s ranking match against Jazzman. The loss cost you a pay per view appearance at Survivor Team Challenge Series and the chance to be Number One Contender for the IF Belt. What went wrong?
Titanothere (in ring gear and helmet): I got beat by a better wrestler. Jazzman is a former Heavyweight Champion. And Monday night he reminded us why he held that title for five months, the longest reign in WWCF history. I thought I had Jazzman scouted. But he switched up his game, and easily took me out. I won’t lie, Jerry: it was embarrassing. Maybe the worst loss of my career.
Fish: Worse than the match with Smokin Vokoun that put you in the hospital?!
Titan (nodding): At least with Vokoun I felt I had a chance. This was… wow. Voodoo Lawyer TTS has his work cut out for him when he faces Jazzman at Survivor Series. I wish them both the best of luck, and am looking forward to seeing their match.
Fish: And what are your plans for the future?
Titan: Well, there are still plenty of opportunities for me in the WWCF once I start winning again. The Championship of Honor. The Hardcore Title. Heck, maybe its time I look into pairing up with somebody and try for the Tag Team Belts. But to do all that I need to work on the holes in my own game. Jazzman proved size doesn’t matter when it comes to wrestling, and if I want to wear gold in the WWCF I have to be more than just the strongest guy in the ring. And, after Monday night, I think I figured out how to accomplish that. What is the one thing all the great ones, the real Legends of wrestling, have had?
Fish (after a long pause): I don’t know. What?
Titan (smiling): A submission maneuver so devastating it can end a match almost instantly. I crushed Jazzman with the Extinction Event, and he was still able to put me down with that triangle choke. If I want to be champion I need an attack painful enough to make my opponent beg for mercy.
Fish (confused): A submission hold? Really? Hogan never had-
Titan: Yes, a truly devastating submission hold is what I need to get me over the hump. And after doing some research I think I’ve found the one that plays to my strengths. And not only that, I’ve contacted the man who can teach it to me!
Fish: What is it? Who is it?!
Stage hand (after approaching from off camera): Titanothere, Arena Security just called. There’s a ‘Mister B’ at the front desk and he’s asking to see you.
Titan (excitedly): Great! Tell them I’m on my way. (Grabs Fish by the shoulders) Got to go, Jerry. Time for my first lesson, and it would be a huge mistake to keep this guy waiting (rushes off).
Fish (looks to the camera): Well, it seems there is a mystery unfolding here at the Parts Unknown Arena. What is this devastating hold Titanothere wants to add to his repertoire, and who has he sought out to show him how to apply it? Keep logging in to WWCF.com for more on this story as it develops.
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