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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2010 22:37:21 GMT -5
WWCF Botch at the Beach, July 26th, 2010
Hoss - Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Botch at the Beach! Gorilla Tim Hoss here at ringside, along with Jesse King!
King - What a show we have tonight, Gorilla!
Hoss - Absolutely! Tyfo finally cashes in his Money in the Bank against friend and fellow Family member, the WWCF World Champion Jay Carroll!
King - After weeks of hostility and countless brawls, Hangman and Square will challenge The Metal Express for the World Tag Team Championship and that will not be for the faint of heart!
Hoss - By order of WWCF CEO Seth Drakin, Viva Los Bio Dome is here and he WILL compete tonight against a mystery opponent!
King - Last month at Wheel of Misfortune, The Boiler Room Brawler was electrocuted by The Man in Black, causing him to suffer from amnesia. Now tonight, BRB’s friend The Smokin’ Vokoun tries to avenge his buddy in a non-title hardcore war!
Hoss - Don’t forget about our number one contenders match between “Damn Right” Jackson and Jonathan Michaels! Both men have worked their way up the ladder recently and tonight, we’ll find out which one is going to take it to the next level!
King - Evil M, the Champion of Honor, looks to take care of the annoyance that is Sparks once and for all right here at the Botch!
Hoss - And in one of the more unusual matches of the night, The General of the Monkey Army and Mad Man will meet in a stuffed monkey on a pole match.
King - We’ve seen some ridiculous matches before Gorilla, but this one takes the cake!
Colt and Jazzman V. Whitey Fats and The Boiler Room Brawler
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well let's get Botch at the Beach started, King.
Jesse King: Let's get it started, indeed, Gorilla! Colt and Jazzman square off against the returned Whitey Fats and the amnesiac Boiler Room Brawler.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This will be Brawler's first match since he lost the Inter-Forum Championship to the Man in Black at Wheel of Misfortune. Does he still have it, or has he forgotten everything?
Jesse King: Well let's join Michael Muffer...
Michael Muffer: Your first match today is a tag team match...
"You know that time in your life, that single moment that defines exactly who you are? Well that only stings for a second..."
*Hurricane Season - Trombone Shorty*
The crowd pops as the pyrotechnics explode. Colt and Jazzman stand at the entrance as the smoke clears, Colt's hand pointing to the bright, blue sky above. Jazzman spins around and starts walking while Colt hops down the ramp. Both men high-five the fans on their way to the ring.
Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring, weighing in at a combined weight of 483lbs, Colt... and Jazzman!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Look at 'em, King. They look like they're the Tag Team champions.
Jesse King: I suppose that they do, but the fact is that they aren't.
Colt rolls into the ring while Jazzman stops and hands his fedora to a kid in the audience. Jazzman turns to Colt, who takes off his fedora and throws it into the audience, causing a scramble as he removes his trenchcoat.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Sell that on eBay...
A fan emerges with the fedora and goes crazy as Jazzman walks up the ring steps and crosses the ropes as Colt points to the sky again.
Jesse King: I'd hate to say it, but I think that these two will be our winners tonight.
Michael Muffer: And their opponents...
*Old Classy Southern Music*
The crowd starts booing as Whitey Fats emerges with BRB timidly following him.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Whitey Fats looks so sure of himself, King.
Jesse King: Well, he has BRB under his dime now, but BRB is a blank slate. He might have a sack of magic beans right there.
Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring, weighing in at a combined weight of 630lbs, Boiler Room Brawler and Whitey... Fats!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It won't be pretty when BRB remembers that he hated Whitey.
Jesse King: That's the funny part if you asked me.
Whitey and BRB enter the ring while Colt and Jazzman go to their corner.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Colt and Jazzman clearly have the skill advantage while Whitey and BRB clearly have the weight advantage.
Jesse King: BRB was a master at using his weight to its fullest potential. But will he remember tonight?
Jazzman crosses the ropes and heads for the center of the ring as Whitey and BRB discuss. Referee "Spud" Verne Johnson taps his foot. Whitey reassures BRB with a $5 bill and a pat on the back. BRB points to his eyes and then to Jazzman.
Jesse King: Looks like BRB wants to watch first.
Whitey shakes his head but crosses the ropes and approaches the center of the ring, across from Jazzman. Spud begins the match. Jazzman throws a kick at Whitey, who blocks the kick and counters with a punch to Jazzman's chest. Jazzman answers back with a punch to Whitey's shoulder.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's a brawl now!
Whitey forces Jazzman back and follows it up with an Irish whip to the ropes. Jazzman rebounds and is caught by Whitey with a powerslam.
Jesse King: Whitey's wasting no time.
Whitey looks at BRB while pointing down at Jazzman. He walks up and tags BRB into the ring. BRB looks around as the crowd picks up.
Jesse King: It's do or die, BRB!
BRB crosses the ropes while Jazzman returns to his feet. Whitey whispers into his ear while pointing at Jazzman and then to himself.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Monkey see, monkey do?
BRB walks up to Jazzman, who bobs, weaves, and shows fancy footwork for the audience. BRB looks back at Whitey, who sternly points back at Jazzman. BRB returns to Jazzman, who invites him to throw a punch with a pound to his own chest.
Jesse King: Jazzman's giving BRB a free shot...
BRB looks back at Whitey, and then nervously throws a punch at Jazzman, who catches BRB's arm and brings him to the ground. BRB yelps as Whitey crosses the ropes and stomps on Jazzman. Spud counts one as Jazzman lets go of BRB to deal with Whitey. BRB backs away from the two to clutch his arm in pain.
Jesse King: Oh dear... how the mighty have fallen.
Spud counts two and Whitey returns to his corner. Jazzman is up, hands on hips, and shaking his head at BRB. He returns to a wrestling stance and invites BRB to attack him. BRB looks around and points at his arm, to which Jazzman shakes his head. Whitey calls out to BRB, pointing at himself.
Whitey Fats: Do what I did!
Jesse King: What is this? School?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This match will be a cinch for Jazzman and Colt.
Jazzman gestures to BRB, who walks up and tries to grab him. Jazzman backs up and slaps him on the head. Jazzman sidesteps a swing from BRB and follows it with an elbow strike to BRB's back. Colt starts cracking up in the corner. Jazzman shrugs. Whitey scowls and holds his hand out. BRB walks over and tags Whitey in.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This match should pick up here.
Whitey tackles Jazzman into the ropes and starts laying into him with punches. Spud tells Whitey to get off the ropes but Whitey continues pounding on Jazzman. Colt crosses the ropes and runs for Whitey, throwing a kick to Whitey's back. Spud counts one as Colt remains in the ring, stomping on Whitey while Jazzman returns to his feet.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Whitey's in trouble now. He may as well be in a handicap match today.
Jesse King: Maybe BRB should scoop up some sand...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What? And get them both disqualified?
Spud counts two and Colt returns to his corner. Whitey stands before Jazzman and throws another punch which Jazzman catches with an arm drag. Whitey quickly stumbles back onto his feet but bounces back from the ropes and is kicked in the midsection by Jazzman.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Jazzman has become well known for his hard-hitting kicks.
Jesse King: And he's a technical kind of guy.
Whitey bends over from the sharp pain of the kick, to which Jazzman double underhooks Whitey's arms and suplexes him towards Colt.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A beautiful double underhook suplex from Jazzman!
Jesse King: BRB sure looks amazed.
Colt climbs up to the top rope and leaps down for an elbow drop but Whitey slides out of the ring. Jazzman slides out of the ring and follows him. Whitey turns around and punches Jazzman in the face. Jazzman backs onto a hand and delivers an enzuigiri kick to Whitey's face as Spud counts one. Jazzman starts standing Whitey back up.
Jesse King: Whitey sure got a face full of foot there.
Whitey shakes his head as Spud counts two. He headlocks Jazzman and punches him in the gut, making him bend over. Whitey maintains his headlock, twists around Jazzman, and drops down for a DDT to the sandy floor. Spud counts three.
Jesse King: Jazzman's down with a DDT!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And Whitey's looking at a possible count-out win here.
Whitey puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles for BRB, who carefully drops down and walks around the ring for Whitey. Spud counts four as Colt climbs to the top rope.
Jesse King: Colt might be making a second mistake here.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: People underestimate how hard sand feels when it is as thoroughly packed in as it is at a beach.
Spud counts five as Colt dives off the top rope for a Shining Wizard to Whitey's skull.
Crowd: Holy s***, holy s***, holy s***!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: A top rope shining wizard from Colt!
Jesse King: Brawler, you gotta get Whitey back into that ring!
Spud counts six as Brawler comes around the ring corner and leaps for a clumsy body slam to all three men.
Jesse King: Brawler, you're keeping everyone out of the ring with your tubby mass! Get Whitey out of there!
Spud counts seven as Colt pushes BRB off of him. BRB rolls around and remains sitting on Jazzman and Whitey.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This match is going to end in a double count out today, King!
Jesse King: Is that really a way to begin Botch at the Beach?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Now that you mention it, why not?
Spud counts eight as Colt double axe handle smashes BRB over the head. BRB holds up his arms for protection and gets off of Jazzman and Whitey.
Jesse King: This is sad. BRB really, really needs to train.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But at the same time, victory is almost surely out of Jazzman and Colt's grasp.
Colt starts helping Jazzman stand up as Spud counts nine. BRB stands up and runs at them, knocking them both over and falling with them.
Jesse King: *sighs*
Spud counts ten and calls the bell.
Michael Muffer: This match, ending in a double count out, is a draw!
The fans have a mixed reaction as BRB helps Whitey stand up. Whitey is confused but BRB guiltily tells him the news. Whitey smacks him over the head as they return to the entrance. Colt and Jazzman are up, posing for the crowd.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Colt and Jazzman had this match in the bag until it went outside.
Jesse King: Well, Whitey still has yet to truly lose since he returned, but man does BRB look the worse for wear now.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: BRB's ring skills have taken a sharp decline since the electric chair, but now Jazzman has a base to work from.
Jesse King: On the bright side, Colt still doesn't have one over Whitey. Ha!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Bright for some...
Jesse King: Botch at the Beach is off to a great start, and I already need another margarita!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Let's move on then, King.
Stuffed Monkey on a Pole match: Mad Man V. The General of the Monkey Army
Muffer: The following contest is a stuffed monkey on a pole match! In this match, a stuffed monkey will be hung from a pole in the corner of the ring. Whichever man is able to grab the monkey first will be declared the winner!
*King Kong 2004*
The General marches down the aisle, Bongo and Tinkers at his side.
Muffer - Introducing first, from Lansing, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds, The General of the Monkey Army!
Hoss - Some would call The General a master of these unconventional match types, Jess.
King - Well, we’ve seen him come up on the winning end of some crazy matches before, Gorilla. So this is right up his alley!
*Down With The Sickness*
Mad Man appears at the top of the ramp in a black robe emblazoned with the logo from the Book of Madness and laughs maniacally. He then comes to the ring passing out pamphlets to fans along the entrance ramp. Upon entering the ring he poses in the center of the ring under a single red spotlight holding the Book of Madness.
Muffer - And his opponent, from W-S, NC, weighing in at 250 pounds, The Prophet of Madness, Mad Man!
Hoss - Mad Man is a relative newcomer Jess, but he has proven already to be a force to be reckoned with in the WWCF!
King - Gorilla, this guy is off his rocker, to put it nicely. I’m glad I’m retired, just so I don’t have to get in there with him!
Referee Floyd McLloyd calls both men to the center of the ring and explains the rules to them, before calling for the b-
Hoss - What’s this?!
Tinkers scurries up the pole, grabs the stuffed monkey and tosses it to the General! McLloyd, Mad Man, and Muffer all seem taken aback as The General and his army celebrate.
Muffer - Now what?
McLloyd - I don’t know, this has never happened before!
Hoss - Well, it would appear that the match is already over, Jess!
King - But there was no official decision, Gorilla! The ref doesn’t seem to know what to do!
After some deliberating, Muffer gets on the mic.
Muffer - Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled that since Tinkers retrieved the monkey before the bell rang, and that because Tinkers is not a part of the match, that the match WILL CONTINUE!
Furthermore, because Tinkers was the one who removed the stuffed monkey from the pole, she must put it back before the match can go on!
The General and Tinkers protest.
McLloyd - Hey, you do the crime, you do the time!
Tinkers reluctantly climbs back up the pole and sticks the stuffed monkey up top. The bell rings. Mad Man knees The General in the back, then drops him with a reverse DDT! He starts up the pole, but on her way down, Tinkers grabs at Mad Man’s eyes! Mad Man shoos her away, as the General gets underneath him and powerbomb’s him to the mat! The General stomps on the Mad Man, then pulls him up. He shoots him into the corner and charges, but the Mad Man bursts out with a lariat, knocking the General to the mat!
Hoss - Mad Man knew what was coming and had an excellent counter for the monkey flip!
General back up, Mad Man charges but get’s caught with an overhead suplex! The General goes for the pole, but Mad Man cuts him off with a chop block! He stomps the leg, then picks up his opponent. Tinkers tries to intervene, but Mad Man intercepts her!
Hoss - This doesn’t look good for Tinkers, Jess!
King - Mad Man may dine on monkey stew tonight, Gorilla!
Mad Man lifts Tinkers over his head, but Bongo cuts him off with a punch to the midsection!
King - DAYUM! That’s gotta feel like being hit with six bricks tied together, Gorilla!
The General picks Mad Man up and holds him. Bongo winds up for a knockout punch, but Mad Man moves! Bongo clocks The General!
Hoss - Nighty night General!
Mad Man goes for the pole, but Tinkers throws sand in his eyes, blinding the Prophet of Madness! Bongo grabs Mad Man and slams him to the outside, while Tinkers checks on the General!
Hoss - Both men in a bad way right now, Jess!
Tinkers and Bongo try to revive the General as Mad Man heads into the crowd for some reason.
King - What is that psychopath doing?!
Hoss - The Mad Man is loose among the people!
In the ring, Bongo and Tinkers grunt and squeal at one another, then Bongo rolls to the outside! He grabs a bucket from under the ring and runs towards the ocean!
King - Has this place gone insane, Gorilla?
Hoss - No, I think this is just your typical PPV match involving the General.
The Mad Man starts making his way back to the ring, carrying a surfboard with him. Bongo runs back from the other side, the bucket now filled with water. Mad Man climbs over the guardrail while Bongo leaps over it, spilling some of the water in the process. Both men make it to the ring at the same time. Mad Man goes to hit the General with the surfboard, but Bongo knocks the surfboard aside, then dumps the water on the General!
Hoss - Bongo just doused the General with water! Brilliant!
King - But The General still ain’t movin’, Gorilla!
Tinkers excitedly points at the surfboard. Bongo shrugs, picks up the surfboard, and…
Hit’s The General with it!
Hoss - What is he doing?!
The General leaps to his feet!
King - Well, I’ll be damned.
Mad Man is heading up the pole, but The General quickly climbs up after him! The two trade punches, while trying to keep their balance at the same time. Both get a hold of the stuffed monkey and pull it down at the same time! Both drop to the mat, each with a hand on the monkey!
Hoss - Both men holding the monkey, Jess!
King - But who won?!
Muffer - Ladies and gentlemen, referee Floyd McLloyd has ruled that since both men grabbed the stuffed monkey at the same time, neither has won! Therefore, the match MUST CONTINUE!!!
Both men groan, as Tinkers dutifully scrambles back up the pole to hang the monkey up.
Hoss - Well, this is unusual Jess. I have never seen a match be restarted twice!
The General and Mad Man trade punches, then The General shoots Mad Man into the corner! He charges, monkey flip! But Mad Man lands by the pole! As The General charges, Mad Man hit’s him with a bucket! He climbs up the pole, Bongo too big to climb after him! Tinkers tries to stop him, but she’s too tired from going up and down the pole! Mad Man reaches up and grabs the stuffed monkey, then drops to the mat!
King - And it’s over, Gorilla!
Muffer - Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, Mad Man!
Mad Man hugs the stuffed monkey tight and heads to the back as Bongo and Tinkers tend to the General.
Hoss - That was something, wasn’t it Jess?
King - It sure was, Gorilla. When you figure out what, let me know!
Championship of Honor: Evil M V. Sparks
Muffer: This contest is a Rules of Honor match set for one fall and it is for the Championship of Hoonnnooorrr! The competitors of this match must abide to the Rules of Honor or they will receive an instant DQ!
Rule number one! The match will begin with a handshake. If one man tries to attack his opponent before the bell, the match is immediately thrown out!
Rule number two! If one man leaves the ring, he has a twenty count to return or the match ends. And fighting outside the ring will NOT be tolerated!
Rule number three! If one man tosses his opponent over the top rope, he will be disqualified!
Rule number four! No moves that cause trauma to the head shall be allowed! No DDTs! No brainbusters! NO PILEDRIVERS!
*The arena goes black. The opening organ is ominously sounding almost drowning out the boos, and then...THUNDER!*
Evil M comes out to a hot crowd, showing their immense dislike.
Hoss: The crowd showing that they obviously don't like this monster.
King: Well they had better shut their traps and show some respect. He's going through a rough time now that Yellow Jacket's gone.
Hoss: Yellow Jacket shmellow jacket! He's just using him as a lame excuse to get people to feel sorry for him, and lord knows that ain't gonna help.
One fan behind a barricade shouts "YELLOW JACKET SUCKS!" as loud as M can hear it. M gets in the young man's face and starts inaudibly patronizing him.
Hoss: Speak of the devil. That comment got him hot and ready to rip that fan's head off.
King: And rightfully so!
Hoss: How about you shut YOUR trap?
He then continues walking while looking at the fan for a breif second. He gets in the ring and sets off his pyro with a loud burst of flames.
*Caught in a Web*
Sparks comes out to a warm reaction. The crowd is generally behind him.
Hoss: Here is the challenger! And boy does he look ready to tear into Evil M.
King: Well he'd better think twice about that! Remember, Gorrila, this is a Rules of Honor match! It's meant to be a respectful competition between two athletes. Sparks can't do any of that hardcore cheating crap he usually does!
Hoss: I think that once this match is over, the word 'honor' will be thrown out of the window!
Sparks puts Scar in his cage and gets in the ring. He panders to the crowd before going to his respective corner.
Muffer: Introducing first, from Parts Unknown, Massachusetts, weighing in at 320 pounds...HE...is the current Champion Of Honor...Evillll EEEEMMMMMMM!--And the challenger, from Sevierville, Tennessee, weighing in at 216 pounds, one part of Heavy Metal Hollywood, SPAAARKS!
The referee calls for the bell and signals for both men to shake hands. Evil M goes to the center and extends his hand to Sparks, with a devilish smirk. Sparks slowly comes up to him, not looking to thrilled with this.
King: Oh come on! Just take it! It's not like you have to kiss or anything!
Hoss: Sparks is right to be hesitant, King. Evil M is know for pulling some of the sneakiest traps in the WWCF.
Sparks finally takes Evil's hand and shakes it slowly, maintaining eye contact and keeping a stern expression. They tie up. Evil catches Sparks in a headlock. Sparks slips out of it and waist locks Evil from behind. Evil bounces of the ropes to shake Sparks off of him. Sparks runs at him and recieves a hard throat thrust.
Hoss: Oh! What a hard shot. That was audible even in the cheap seats!
Evil M saunters over to Sparks, staggering on his knees, and grabs him. He lifts him up and gives him a sidewalk slam. He makes the cover.
1...Kickout
Evil drapes Sparks over his shoulder and rams him into a corner, shoulder thrusts following. The ref breaks it up and Evil backs off. He runs at Sparks, only to be met by an elbow. Evil staggers backwards as Sparks goes to the second rope. He jumps and hits a seated senton, knocking Evil down.
King: Why, that should be a DQ! That move can cause head trauma!
Hoss: So can looking at your step mother, but this match is already confusing and shady. Wouldn't be surprised to see Evil pull one of his tricks here.
Sparks stands up Evil, runs the ropes, and clotheslines Evil, who is stunned, but still standing. Sparks tries again, this time nearly knocking Evil down. He runs at him again, and eats a big boot right to the skull.
Hoss: That can cause trauma as well! No wonder Evil made this match by those rules. He MADE these rules. How is that fair?
Evil goes for the cover.
1... Tw-Kickout.
Evil drags Sparks to the corner and turns him into position. Evil goes to the other corner and runs at full speed to Sparks's corner. He jumps, grabs the top ropes, and lands with both feet on the second rope. He starts to gain momentum on his splash.
King: Uh oh. That's 320 pounds that is about to squash that bug!
Evil propells himself off the second rope and straightens himself to land on Sparks, but Sparks rolls out of the ring! Evil's body violently crashes to the ground. He grabs his midsection and writhes as Sparks saunters lightly on the outside, regaining his stamina and cools his heals. The ref starts the count.
1!
2!
3!
Evil grabs the rope to get himself up.
4!
5!
6!
7!
Hoss: Remember, there is a 20 count for ring outs. Sparks has plenty of time to re-couperate.
8!
Evil rolls to the outside. Sparks runs at him but stops in his tracks, remembering the rules.
9!
Evil and Sparks have a staredown.
10!
11!
12!
Sparks runs quickly back in the ring, as does Evil. Once they are both in, they start to trade lefts and rights. Sparks gets the upper hand and delivers quick blows to the midsection. He irish whips Evil and connects with a spear on the rebound. He holds the position and starts hammering on the face of Evil befor the ref pulls him off. Sparks goes for the cover.
1... Tw--Kickout.
King: Evil has a big size advantage over Sparks. How he's gonna hit the Spinerettee is beyond me.
Hoss: Don't count this kid out, King. His muscles may not be strong enough, but his heart sure is.
Sparks locks in an armbar on the ground. Evil tries to fight out of it, but Sparks's grip is too tight. Evil tries to kick himself to a bottom rope, but Sparks just drags him back to the center. Evil struggles to get up to his feet. Sparks won't let go and is hanging onto Evil's arm like a child. Evil lifts up Sparks using only his right arm! Sparks's feet are off the ground. Sparks swings his legs onto Evil's neck and gives him a hurricanrana!
Hoss: Oh! A nice showing of athleticism by Sparks there.
King: Yeah, but flash will only get you so far. Sometimes it's brute force that is a show of dominance!
Sparks make the cover.
1...
2...Kickout.
Sparks stalks Evil and waits for him to get up. Evil slowly turns around into a savate kick, but he catches it! He forces Sparks into a nasty clothesline!
King: That's what I'm talking about! Dominance!
Hoss: Not gonna argue that.
Evil goes for the cover.
1...
2...Kickout
Evil runs and drops an elbow onto the chest of Sparks into a pin.
1...
2...
Kickout.
Evil gets on the apron and slowly ascends to the top rope and waits for Sparks to get up. Sparks dazily turns around and sees an airborne Evil M going for a flying clothesline, but he rolls out of the way! Evil lands rolling and runs right into a savate kick.
Hoss: Oof! Evil M should stick to ground offense, in my opinion. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
King: You said it, Gorilla! And he fell down hard after eating Sparks's foot!
Sparks goes right back into that armbar, to the disdain of Evil. He really fights hard this time to shake Sparks off, but he can't do it.
Hoss: Veteran instinct by Sparks. He knows that his arm is still aching after the first armbar.
Evil slowly crawls to the ropes. Sparks tries to drag him back, but he is to fatigued. Finally, Evil gets to the ropes and the ref breaks it up. Sparks lets go and backs off for a bit. Sparks makes a grab for Evil, but Evil hits him in the midsection. He uses Sparks as leverage to get himself up and starts to turret punch Sparks. He headlocks him, runs, and drops him with a bulldog. He drags Sparks's body over to the corner to try an avalance again. He runs, jumps, and actually hits it this time. He stays in position for the cover.
1...
2...
Sparks grabs the bottom rope!
King: Aw man! That would've been it!
Sparks rolls out of the ring again. The ref starts the count.
1!
2!
3!
Evil M is up and poised for something...
4!
5!
Sparks is clawing the apron to pull himself up...
6!
7!
8!
Sparks grasps the bottom rope and rolls back in the ring. Sparks staggers back to his feet and turns around into a chokehold! Evil has a crazed and demented look in his eyes!
King: This is it, Gorilla. That bug will finally get the bug bimb he deserves!
Sparks kicks Evil in the injured midsection. He jumps and hits an enziguri, knocking the big man down!
Hoss: Enziguri! Sparks is no quitter! His passion is clear in his eyes! As hurt and battered as he may be, he pushes on like a truck in a snow storm!
Sparks climbs up to the top rope and taunts the cheering crowd. Spark turns around and moonsaults onto the shoulders of Evil M! Evil gets Sparks in the tombstone position!
Hoss: Wait! I thought he said no piledrivers! A piledriver is his finishing move, damnit!
Sparks slips out of it and tries to go for a school boy, but Evil is holding onto the ropes. Evil then thrusts himself over the top rope down to the floor. The ref sees this and calls for the bell. Sparks gets up and asks the ref what happened. Sparks can't believe it.
*"THUNDER!"*
Muffer: Here's your winner and STIIIIIILLLLLL your Champion of Honor...Evilllll EEEEEMMMMMM!
The crowd drowns the arena in heat as Evil is handed the title looking proud.
Hoss: WHAT?! THAT NO GOOD SUNAVA B*TCH! How can anyone think this man has 'honor' when he does something like that?!
King: What are ya talking about, Gorilla! The whole world saw it! Sparks pushed Evil M over the top rope! And the rules say that it's an instant DQ.
Hoss: Instant DQ my ass! That was blatently cheating! Sparks was trying to pull him down. He wasn't even close to pushing him! Evil clearly took advantage of his best laid 'rules' and stole the victory!
King: Stealing or not, you've gotta give the devil his due. Brilliant strategy by Evil M!
Evil is still celebrating on the ramp when Sparks attacks him with chair! The crowd pops loudly to this. He hits Evil in the back a couple of times before tossing the chair. He goes over to ringside and grabs a mic and Scar's box. He goes back to Evil and stands over his writhing body and speaks.
"You think this is over? Huh? After what you just pulled? Well, that's where you're wrong, Evil. You see, I'm excersising my rematch clause. And this time, I want it 'my' way. That means no more of this honor sh*t. I want to resign from my position at BattleBowl and challenge you for your championship. In what match, you ask? Well, how about a match where honor doesn't come into play at all? Where honor can't get in...or out? Where honor doesn't even exist? After all, how could there be any honor in a...STEEL...CAGE?!"
The crowd pops even louder as Sparks drops the make and lets Scar out of his cage onto a lifeless Evil M. Sparks walks out to a huge reaction as Caught in a Web plays.
Hoss: My god! What a huge match he just teased! I can't imagine the horrible things these men will do to each other in that type of environment!
King: If this goes through, there had better be EMT's on hand. This one will get ugly!
Non-Title Hardcore Match: The Man in Black V. The Smokin‘ Vokoun
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's been a great day at Botch at the Beach so far, King, but now there may be blood on the sand.
Jesse King: Yes indeed. I'm on my 8th margarita tonight.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The WWCF Hardcore Champion, The Smokin' Vokoun, faces off against the WWCF Interforum Champion, the Man in Black.
Jesse King: Is it just me or will both of them look... off at a beach?
Michael Muffer: This next match will be a Hardcore, Non-Title Match!
*Sinner Man - Nina Simone*
The crowd pops as the Smokin' Vokoun emerges, a cold but crazed stare in his eyes. He carries a 2x4 in his hands and heads for the ring.
Michael Muffer: Introducing first, the challenger: weighing in at 275lbs and hailing from Chicago, IL; He is the World WrestleCrap Federation Hardcore Champion: The Smokin'... Vokoun!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Smokin' Vokoun is ready to bring the fight to the Man in Black tonight.
Jesse King: The Man in Black has proven to be a strong fighter, having defeated every man in his way.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: His entrance should be interesting, considering that there are no ring lights to go out.
The Smokin' Vokoun looks up at the sky and people start pointing.
Jesse King: Look, Gorilla!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What?
The moon begins to cover the sun for a solar eclipse.
*When A Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This arena's going bananas, King!
Jesse King: It's a solar eclipse!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Do you think?
Jesse King: No, it has to be a coincidence.
The Man in Black emerges after a pyrotechnic explosion in the ring. He stands in the center of the ring, Interforum Championship belt adorned over his waist.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This is the second time this year that the Hardcore Champion and the Interforum Champion will be squaring off against each other.
Jesse King: But unlike BRB/Jackson, this match is not for a title.
The Smokin' Vokoun charges for the Man in Black, who reaches behind himself, locks onto Vokoun, and drops down for a cutter, sending Vokoun to the mat.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And the match has begun!
Referee John Creed starts the match, looking up at the sky for a moment.
Jesse King: This solar eclipse is almost over.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Lightning in a bottle, I suppose.
MiB returns to his feet as Vokoun starts getting back up. MiB throws a punch at Vokoun, who swings his 2x4 around at MiB's leg. MiB clutches his leg and hops back.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Smokin' Vokoun probably stands the best chance of defeating the Man in Black tonight because there are weapons.
Vokoun runs up to MiB and clotheslines him down to the mat. Vokoun drops down to punch MiB in the head but MiB thrusts his fist up at Vokoun's throat.
Jesse King: The Man in Black is a scrapper. He and Vokoun are similar in size. I don't think that Vokoun can beat the Man in Black at brawling.
MiB stands up and throws a kick at Vokoun, who rolls out of the ring. MiB takes off his IF belt and crosses the ropes as Vokoun gets up. He jumps off, belt before him, and slams it onto Vokoun's head, knocking him down to the ground.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Man in Black has the Smokin' Vokoun under control, but can he keep it up?
MiB slams the IF belt onto Vokoun's hand to make him release the 2x4. MiB jumps and delivers a knee drop onto Vokoun's back.
Jesse King: Smokin' Vokoun is going to have to try harder than this if he 's going to avenge BRB.
Vokoun pounds his fists into the sand and stands up. MiB chucks the IF belt at him but Vokoun charges forward, grabs MiB, and belly to belly suplexes him onto the 2x4.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Oh... That's got to hurt!
MiB rolls onto his front as he clutches his back. Vokoun grabs a large seashell and starts bashing MiB in the back.
Jesse King: Vokoun's using his environment now.
Vokoun raises the seashell to bask MiB some more when MiB throws sand in his eyes. Vokoun drops the seashell while MiB returns to his feet.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: As is the Man in Black.
MiB backs away from Vokoun and starts digging some sand.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What's the Man in Black doing?
MiB finishes digging, forming a small pit. He whistles for the Smokin' Vokoun, who heads over.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Uh...
Vokoun loses his footing at the small dip in the sand, stumbling forward. MiB catches him with a fireman's carry and starts spinning him around.
Jesse King: Oh, he used the small sand pit to make Vokoun lose his footing.
MiB continues to spin Vokoun around, eventually sideslamming him into some driftwood.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Luckily for Vokoun, driftwood is not as hard as dry wood.
MiB goes for the pin. Referee John Creed counts one, tw-Vokoun powers out. MiB stands up and backs away, waiting for Vokoun's next move.
Jesse King: The Man in Black has had control for most of this match so far.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Think he might have gotten stronger because of the eclipse?
Jesse King: Don't be silly. Besides, the eclipse is almost entirely over by now.
Vokoun grabs a piece of driftwood and throws it at MiB, who dodges it. He then runs at MiB and tackles him, running him into the water with a splash. Both men exchange blows, back and forth, in the water.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's gone from wrestling to water polo!
Vokoun uppercuts MiB, who flies backward into the water and sinks down. MiB doesn't return to the surface.
Jesse King: Uh oh, where did the Man in Black go?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Might he be drowning?
Vokoun wades through the water, looking out for MiB.
Jesse King: Maybe he's swimming under the surface; like a shark.
MiB suddenly emerges behind Vokoun and bashes him in the head with a rock, and then dips back into the water. Vokoun swings around for MiB but cannot find him.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Who knew that the Man in Black would be so formidable at a beach?
Jesse King: Whoever the Man in Black is, he's one adaptable son of a bitch.
Vokoun ducks down into the water and picks up a rock. He looks around for MiB, but MiB doesn't emerge.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Fool me once...
MiB suddenly bursts forth but is met with a rock to the head from Vokoun. Vokoun starts pounding him; head, chest, back, shoulders, arms, the works. He then headlocks MiB and holds him underwater.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Smokin' Vokoun's one guarantee here is that the Man in Black has to breathe.
MiB stops struggling. Vokoun drags MiB back to the sand and goes for the pin. Creed counts one, tw-MiB kicks out.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: No!
Jesse King: Should have kept him in there longer, Vokoun!
Vokoun starts stomping on MiB, who tries to stand back up but cannot seem to.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Vokoun's got control of this match now. MiB's in trouble. Vokoun might actually beat him!
Vokoun stands MiB up into a bent position. He calls out to the crowd, waistlocks MiB, but is back body dropped onto the sand by MiB. MiB takes a breather while Vokoun stands back up.
Jesse King: Both of these men are pretty beaten up already, and the water didn't help things.
Vokoun throws a bionic elbow at MiB but MiB dodges it. MiB grabs Vokoun by the arm and wrenches it, dropping an elbow onto it. Vokoun responds with a punch to MiB's gut and a DDT.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: MiB has had control of most of this match but Vokoun gets some pretty devastating blows throughout. I don't know who'll win at this point.
Jesse King: My money's on the Man in Black.
Vokoun goes for the pin. Creed counts one, two, MiB kicks out. Vokoun gets up and approaches a woman sitting in a beach chair with an umbrella. He scares her off and takes the umbrella off and folds it down.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This should be interesting...
Vokoun charges at MiB, holding the folded umbrelly as a lance. MiB backs up to the ring and dodges out of the way. He grabs Vokoun's 2x4 and swings for Vokoun, who disarms him with the umbrella and swats him in the face.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: These two men are using this beach to its fullest potential.
Jesse King: Are they?
Vokoun swats MiB in the face again but MiB grabs the umbrella and holds on, initiating a tug of war. MiB eventually lets go, causing Vokoun to stumble backwards. MiB capitalizes by running up and delivering a leg lariat, taking Vokoun to the ground.
Jesse King: MiB outfoxes Vokoun again. But that's pretty easy.
Vokoun clutches some sand and throws it into MiB's face, but MiB's unaffected due to his facemask.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Good idea, Vokoun, but MiB's mask renders that tactic useless.
MiB pulls the umbrella away and chucks it. He climbs onto Vokoun's back and locks in a camel clutch.
Jesse King: I don't think that the Man in Black has worked Vokoun enough for a camel clutch to work.
Vokoun begins standing up in spite of MiB's camel clutch. MiB changes tactics by hooking his arm around the front of Vokoun's neck. He backs up and drops down.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Good conversion to an inverted DDT by the Man in Black.
MiB heads for Vokoun's feet and starts pulling off Vokoun's boots.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What's he doing?
Jesse King: Hm...
MiB pulls off Vokoun's socks and throws them away.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I don't get it.
Jesse King: What's the temperature today?
Gorilla Tim Hoss: 97, 98 degrees fahrenheit...
Jesse King: Aha! Look at the sun, Gorilla! Think of the sand!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Vokoun will be dancing around the sand! It'll be scorching hot!
Jesse King: Man in Black has to be sweating himself. He is dressed in black.
Vokoun starts getting up and then starts hurrying, and then hopping around. MiB winds up and delivers a discus clothesline to Vokoun. He covers for the pin. Creed counts one, two, Vokoun kicks out.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Gonna take more than a discus clothesline to take out the Smokin' Vokoun.
Jesse King: Don't matter. As long as Vokoun stands on that hot sand, he's good as toast!
MiB climbs up to the apron of the ring while Vokoun stands back up. He gestures to the crowd.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This could be it!
Vokoun is back up but he hops and runs for MiB before MiB can dive. MiB responds by climbing up to the top rope. Vokoun slides into the ring. MiB drops down to the apron and then to the outside, backing away.
Jesse King: Vokoun will have to follow MiB onto that hot sand. MiB now dictates this match.
MiB picks up the discarded umbrella as Vokoun looks out to the crowd.
Audience: Vokoun, Vokoun, Vokoun, Vokoun...
MiB stands ready for Vokoun, who picks up his Hardcore belt to a crowd pop and runs out of the ring at the MiB. MiB unfolds the umbrella but Vokoun continues and barrells into him, swinging the Hardcore belt.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Smokin' Vokoun is doing this for Boiler Room Brawler! He's doing it as Hardcore Champion. He's doing it for the WWCF Galaxy!
MiB is on the ground but the umbrella remains in the way, giving him just enough time to roll out of the way of Vokoun and stand back up. Vokoun digs his feet into the sand, looking for cooler sand for his feet and he stands back up.
Jesse King: Vokoun needs to take this fight to the wet end of the beach, where it'll be cool on his feet.
Vokoun still holds onto the Hardcore Championship belt and charges at MiB, who catches him, lifts him up, and sits down for a spinebuster. Vokoun pounds him in the head in the process, and both men are down.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Bah gawd! They're both down!
Creed gives them a moment and then decides to count one.
Jesse King: Killed each other in the crossfire. Not bad.
Creed counts two.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: They have eight more seconds to stand up.
Creed counts three.
Jesse King: It's not very often that we see a knockout finish in WWCF...
Creed counts four.
Jesse King: ...but where better than a Hardcore Match?
Creed counts five.
Audience: Vokoun, Vokoun, Vokoun, Vokoun...
Creed counts six.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Can the audience revive their hero, their Hardcore Champion?
Creed counts seven and MiB starts to stir.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Uh oh, uh oh!
Creed counts eight as MiB begins to stand up while Vokoun begins to stir.
Jesse King: The Man in Black's gonna make it!
Creed counts nine. MiB takes a breather while Vokoun kicks sand around in his attempt to get up.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Vokoun fought hard, but it wasn't enough!
Creed counts ten and calls for the bell.
*When A Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash*
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner as a result of a knockout: your World WrestleCrap Federation Interforum Champion: The Man. in. Black!
The crowd boos as the Man in Black takes the Hardcore belt and raises it above his head and points at himself.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Vokoun has given the Man in Black his hardest fought victory to date, but even he couldn't do it. Who the hell can?
The Man in Black bashes the Smokin' Vokoun in the head and then leaves to grab his Interforum Belt and put it on.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: The Man in Black reigns supreme, but Vokoun has shown that the Man in Black is still merely human.
Jesse King: Whitey Fats is the only man to get one over on the Man in Black so far, and that was only after the Man in Black was already thrashed and fatigued.
The Man in Black leaves down the ramp.
Jesse King: And BRB is in no shape to challenge the Man in Black for the belt.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Vokoun fought nobly for BRB, but the show must go on.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2010 22:43:47 GMT -5
Number One Contenders match: Jonathan Michaels V. “Damn Right” Jackson
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And now ladies and gentlemen, it's time to determine who will be the next man to challenge for the WWCF Championship!
Jesse King: That's right Tim, both of these men have crossed paths before throughout their career, but the stakes have never been this high!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Too true, I mean every headline you read nowadays is about how either Jonathan Michaels or "Damn Right" Jackson is taking the WWCF by storm, how they are going to be running this place... and this match up is their first step in that direction... let's take this to Michael Muffer...
"Too Black... Too Strong... DAMN RIGHT!" I Made It - Kevin Rudolf
A mixed reaction, consisting mainly of boos scatters across the arena as "Damn Right" Jackson walks out, wearing his trademark White Suit Jacket and Sunglasses, he has a look of pure focus as he walks down to the ring, ignoring the fans...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This man has accomplished quite a bit in his first year here, he's claimed multiple wins over many former champions and has successfully held the Inter-Forum Championship. He showed his dominance in Thunderdome, and now he's looking to earn his first One on One shot at the World Title...
Jesse King: You forgot to mention he earnt those accolades by being a Shameless Bully!
Jackson rolls into the ring and removes his jacket as he awaits...
DOA - Foo Fighters
The crowd erupt into cheers as Jonathan Michaels walks out, with Sara Nakatomi in tow. He confidently stands at the top of the ramp and points to Jackson as he makes his way down to the ring.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And you cannot forget this man, Jonathan Michaels, he's a former Hardcore Champion, a former Champion of Honor and has his own share of victories over legends and former World Champions, including a victory over our current CEO, Seth Drakin.
Jesse King: And most of all, the Hardcore Heartthrob has done it all without stooping to Jackson's level. This is a man who you want to headline your company!
Jonathan kisses Sara before sending her to the back, he turns back to Jackson and rolls into the ring, the referee keeps them separated.
Michael Muffer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! And is to determine the Number One Contender to the WWCF Heavyweight Championship of the World!
Introducing first, from West Philadelphia, Born and Raised weighing in tonight at 304 pounds, The Black Dynasty... "Damn Right" Jackson!
The mixed reaction returns, Jackson completely ignores this.
Michael Muffer: And his opponent, hailing form Los Angeles, California... weighing in tonight at 245 pounds, The Hardcore Heartthrob... Jonathan Michaels!
The crowd burst into cheer and Jonathan acknowledges this.
Michael Muffer gets our of the ring, and the referee Lloyd McFloyd calls for the bell to start the contest. The two men circle the ring, measuring eachother up. Jackson mockingly offers for a test of strength, knowing full well that he'll over power the smaller Michaels... Michaels smiles at this "offer" and quickly slaps Jackson across the face. To the delight of this crowd.
Jesse King: Looks like Michaels wasn't a fan of Jackson's little joke!
Jackson is rubbing his face in disbelief over the audacity of Michaels. He turns his head back to Michaels, and Michaels explodes on him with a series of rights and lefts. Michaels gets Jackson into the corner and continues to hammer away until referee Lloyd McFloyd separates them.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Jonathan exploding into this match early, very focused... He knows what's on the line tonight!
Jackson shakes the cobwebs out of his head and approaches the waiting Michaels. Michaels goes for another right, but Jackson catches his hand and whips him to the ropes. Jackson clotheslines Michaels to the ground on the rebound.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: But it looks like Jackosn quickly uses his strength to his advantage!
Jackson starts to mercilessly stomp on the downed Michaels, Michaels rolls to the ropes for safety, and now it's Michaels who is shaking the cobwebs out as Jackson waits...
Jesse King: This men have faced off a few times before, so they should know what the expect...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: That's right, both times these men have faced off it was for the sake of a title shot and both times Jackson came out on top... however Jonathan is known for adapting... And this match is for a one on one shot at the title, not a tournament, not for Thunderdome... but an undisputed one on one shot at the title that you're in this business to fight for!
Jackson takes a swing at Michaels, but Michaels grabs Jacksons arm and this a hip toss into an armbar. He wrenches on the arm, but Jackson rolls over and pushes Michaels away. Jackson works himself to his feet, but Michaels pounces on him with a flying forearm. Michaels quickly goes up to the top rope and dives off with a Moonsault, but Jackson rolls out of the way, and Michaels lands on his feet. Michaels applauds Jackson as he watches him get to his feet.
Jono goes to Irish Whip Jackson, but Jackson holds his ground and pulls Michaels towards him, Jackson scoops him up and drops him with a Body Slam. Jackson goes for the pin...
1...
Michaels kicks out right away...
Jesse King: Come on now, surely Jackson had to have known he was going to kick out of that!
Jackson picks Michaels up and kicks him in the midsection, he then sets him up for a suplex, he lifts Michaels up into the air but Michaels wiggles free and lands on his feet, spins Jackson around and hits a Snap Suplex. Michaels goes for the pin now...
1...
Now Jackson kicks out quickly...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Both men trying to put this one in the record books early.
This time Michaels picks Jackson up and whips him to the ropes, Jackson bounces back and goes to clothesline Michaels, Michaels see this coming and ducks it. He quickly spins around and hits Jackson with a Dropkick into the opposite ropes and connects with a Spinebuster!
Jesse King: See that! Michaels outsmarted and overpowered Jackson, he's learnt from his mistakes! Just like when Jackson came out to attack Michaels last week... Michaels was ready for him!
Michaels goes for another pin... Lateral Press
1...
2...
Jackson kicks out! Jackson keeps a hold of Michaels and gets to his feet, holding Michaels in a Fallaway Slam, throwing him across the ring!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Now there is more to a match than just strength, however Jackson has used his Strength to defeat many of the top names here, in recent weeks that includes Colt and Little Naitch as recently as last week.
Jackson walks over to the downed Michaels, he crouches over him to pick him up, but Michaels slaps Jackson across the face, Jackson stumbles back. Michaels springs to his feet and runs at Jackson, but Jackson meets this with a One Armed Uranage. Jackson goes to pin Michaels...
1...
2...
Michaels kicks out!
Jesse King: Say what you will about Jackson's strength, it is simply no match for Michaels' heart and determination!
Jackson goes to pick Michaels up, but Michaels counters with a Small Package!
1...
2...
Jackson breaks free, just in time, he's in complete shock, whilst Michaels rolls to his feet. Jackson gets up and turns to Michaels, who catches him with a kick to the midsection, followed by a DDT! Michaels quickly runs to the turnbuckles and flys off with a Moonsault!
1...
2...
Jackson kicks out! Michaels can't believe it! Michaels mounts the fallen Jackson and starts hammering away at him, Jackson rakes at Michaels eyes to get him off! Jackson uses the ropes to get to his feet and takes Michaels down with a Big Boot. Jackson quickly turns his attention to one of the turnbuckle pads and attempts to take it off. Lloyd McFloyd immediately runs up to Jackson and tells him to stop. Jackson hesitantly complies...
Jesse King: What is that oaf trying to do here! That's uncalled for! If you need an exposed turnbuckle to win, you should not be Champion!
Jackson turns his attention back to Michaels, he picks him up for a Gorilla Press Slam, he stalls for a bit, and Michaels uses this time to wriggle his way free, Michaels lands on his feet and hits The Fade To Black! Sending Jackson right out of the ring!
Jesse King: There it is! The Fade to Black! It's over!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I'm not too sure about that, as effective as that move is, Michaels cannot pin Jackson outside...
1!
2!
Michaels stands by the apron, looking down the fallen Jackson... he's not moving...
3!
4!
Jesse King: Looks like he won't need to! Jackson's not moving!
5!
6!
Jackson starts to stir...
7!
8!
He uses the apron to pull himself up...
9!
Jackson rolls in just in time, Michaels immediately responds to this with an elbow drop. He goes for the pin...
1...
2...
Jackson gets his foot on the rope.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It looks like Michaels might finally be closing in on how to solve this riddle that is "How to beat Jackson"
Michaels drags Jackson into the ring and measures him up for another Fade to Black. Jackson slowly stirs as he gets to his feet. When he gets to his feet, Michaels attempts to hit the move, but Jackson catches Michaels's leg and hoists him up and connects with a huge Powerbomb!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: My god! What a counter!
Jackson goes for the pin...
1...
2...
Michaels kicks out!
Jesse King: Look at all these near falls, it goes to show what these guys are willing to do, what they're willing to go through, to get this coveted shot at this most coveted of titles!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: You're right, whether the champion is Jay Carroll or Tyfo, they're going to have a hell of a night against whoever wins this match!
Jackson picks Michaels up and attempts to lock in the Altitude Adjustment, but Michaels quickly counters this with a side headlock, right into another DDT. Michaels picks Jackson up and goes for The Fade to Black, but Jackson ducks it and quickly scoops Michaels up into the Altitude Adjustment and wrenches away!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: This does not look good for Michaels here! He's felt the wraith of this move many times now, and many superstars have quickly submitted!
Michaels is screaming in pain as Jackson walks into the center of the ring, still wrenching on hard with the move. Lloyd McFloyd runs up and asks Michaels if he submits, Michaels screams out "NO!"
Jesse King: Something tells me Michaels isn't going to be one of those people, there is way too much on the line for him tonight! FIGHT IT!
The crowd begin a loud "Let's go Michaels!" chant, this seems to anger Jackson so he wrenches on even harder, but Michaels still refuses to give in.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: You were right! Look at the heart, the passion!
Jackson realises Michaels won't give up, so Jackson prepares himself to jump, so he can hit the High Anxiety, as he does so, Michaels breaks himself free hitting a third DDT! Both men are down!
1...
2...
3...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: And now it's Michaels with an amazing counter! These guys have clearly used the last month studying eachother to the fullest extent.
4..
5...
6...
Jesse King: Of course they have! This is to see who can challenge for the World Title! These are the sort of matches you prepare years for, this is why you're in this business! You don't go into a match like this with anything less than 110%, these two warriors are quite possible the two best wrestlers not holding a title right now. They won't go down without a fight!
7...
The crowd begin to will both men on, they want this match to have a proper ending. Both men uses the ropes to get to their feet, Jackson is grasping his heap, whilst Michaels is grasping his back. They spring off of the ropes and they stumble towards eachother, meeting face to face.
Jackson takes the first punch, Michaels responds in kind. Jackson throws the next, Michaels does the same. Jackson goes for a third punch, Michaels then hits a third, this one rocks Jackson hard and Jackson stumbles to the turnbuckle... Michaels runs at Jackson in the corner, once he gets close to jumps at him... Jackson quickly ducks down and rips the turnbuckle pad he previously untied earlier, and Michaels lands chest first on the exposed turnbuckle. Jackson pushes the winded Michaels back and lays him out with a huge Spear!
Jesse King: What the hell was that? Disqualify him ref!
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It might not be honest, but it was definately smart. That's the sort of thing you have to do when you want a World Title Shot!
Jackson goes in for the pin...
1..
Jesse King: Not this way!
2...
Jesse King: Not this way!
Thr-
Jesse King: NOT THIS- WAIT! MICHAELS KICKS OUT! MICHAELS KICKS OUT! MICHAELS KICKS OUT!
Jackson cannot believe it, he throws a tantrum in the ring.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: It's looks like's Michaels' heart is too much, even for Jackson's dirty ways...
Michaels begins to stir in the middle of the ring, and Jackson is livid. He goes back into the corner and measures Michaels up again... Michaels barely gets to his feet, and when he turns around Jackson lays him out with another Spear!
Jesse King: That's it... it's over..
Jackson goes for the pin...
1...
2...
MICHAELS KICKS OUT AGAIN!
Jesse King: WHAT!
Jackson simply cannot believe this, he's almost in tears... "What do I have to do!". Jackson paces around the ring in frustration, he turns back to see Michaels slowly getting to his feet again. Jackson gets in the corner one last time...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Please... no more...
Michaels is struggling to get to his feet, he constantly falls back down to win knee. Jackson is frustratin grows, just begging Michaels to turn around... Michaels uses the ropes to get to his feet, he pushes himself off the ropes to turn and face Jackson, but Jackson takes him down with a third Spear!
Jackson goes for the pin...
1..
Jesse King: Come on Jono! You can make this!
2...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Mercifully...
3!
Gorilla Tim Hoss:... it's over!
I Made It - Kevin Rudolf
Jackson rolls off of Michaels, in utter disbelief at what he had to do to win. Michaels is barely moving in the center of the ring, whilst Jackson is right next to him, on his knees soaking this in...
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner and the NEW Number One Contender to the WWCF Heavyweight Championship... "Damn Right" Jackson!
Jackson gets to his feet and looks down at the fallen Michaels, he bends over and grabs Michaels by the arm and pulls him to his feet. They stare at eachother for what feels like an eternity... until Jackson embraces Michaels, mouthing the words "Thank you". Jackson and Michaels hold eachother hands up high, until Sara Nakatomi runs down and sees to her man, she helps him to the back. Jackson along with the crowd applaud.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Despite failing to come out on top, you cannot take anything away from Jonathan Michaels tonight folks... He gave it his all and put up a fight worhty of a Champion. His time will come, I'm sure of it. It simply wasn't his night...
Jesse King: And say what you will about Jackson, as one of his biggest detractors myself, you cannot deny that that man, The Black Dynasty, after his wins over Colt, Naitch and now Michaels, has to be one of the hottest superstars going. He fought from the bottom and worked his way up, the hard way and has finally earnt his shot to challenge for the WWCF Championship...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Whether it's Tyfo or Jay Carroll, they are going to have their hands full when they step in the ring with "Damn Right" Jackson...
Backstage, Sara runs up to Jonathan with a microphone.
Jonny?
What?
What are you going to do now?
You'll find out next week just like everyone else.
Viva Los Bio Dome V. Mystery Opponent
*Paparazzi hits, and the crowd boo's violently. The song plays for 30 seconds... No Viva Los Bio Dome. It plays for a minute... No Viva. The crowd is getting restless, but finally, Viva steps out from the curtain and stands on the ramp. He's got his arms crossed and his lips pouted.*
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Whoa! Viva does NOT want to be here, and quite frankly, I didn't expect him to be. I know that Seth told him that he had a match, and he would have to win if he ever wanted to file his grievances with the CEO, but a lot of people, including me, expected him to see if Drakin was bluffing!
Jesse King: I knew Viva would be here. The guy's a consummate professional, despite being held down time and time again by Seth Drakin.
*Viva stands inside of the ring, and the ring announcer tosses him a mic*
Viva Los Bio Dome: Well, Seth? You said you had a match for me. I don't have all day, Boss, so let's get this show on the road.
*Seth Drakin appears on the Crappertron*
Seth Drakin: You continue to think that I'm on your time, Viva. It's a bad habit that will be broken whether you like it or not. Before your opponent makes his way to the ring, though, I'd like to let you know that if anyone interferes in this match, they will be suspended indefinitely, and if they are champions of any sort they will have their titles stripped. Alright, hit Viva's opponent's music.
Jesse King: I wonder who it could be, Hoss! We've been waiting for this day since Seth announced this match last week! I got my money on Amigo, who you got?!
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: I'm hoping that it marks the triumphant return of Aaron Enigma to the WWCF! We need a hero!
*The New Blackjacks theme song hits, and Littlenaitch stands up at the ramp smiling. Viva can't believe it and begins throwing a tantrum in the ring.*
Seth Drakin: Oh, and Viva... This match is going to be No Holds Barred.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: It's LITTLENAITCH! The man was SALIVATING at the opportunity to fight Viva last week, and Viva ducked him like Mayweather is ducking Pacquiao!
Jesse King: Even I have to admit, Timmy, it sure isn't looking very good for Viva right now! What's he going to do!
*The crowd pops enormously and 'Naitch begins making his way to the ring with a huge grin on his face, grinding his hands together and psyching himself up. Viva's jaw is on the floor and he can hardly deal with what he's hearing. 'Naitch steps in the ring and Viva starts on the mic again.*
Viva: Woah, woah, 'Naitch! How ya' doin' big guy?! Look, I know you're pissed off at me about beating you in our title match, and I know you're pissed at me for putting your buddy Jay's head square into the WWCF championship belt, but you've got to let bygones be bygones man. My fight is not with you. I offer up a truce. You stay out of my business, I stay out of yours. 'Cause as it is right now, 'Naitch, you're just fighting Seth's battles for him, and you don't even like him, so...
*Littlenaitch grabs the mic out of Viva's hand.*
Littlenaitch: Look here, you little rat, this has nothing to do with Seth. This has everything to do with a weasel like you getting his just desserts. You walk around here, and you act like you own the place. You think you can do whatever you want and get away with it. Well I'm the piper and it's time to pay up, pal. You can say whatever you want to say, but the fact of the matter is this: I am going to hurt you tonight. You will finally feel the pain you've put so many people in. This isn't just for me tonight, and I won't lie, a small part of it is. This is for Stryker. This is for Ganzobomb. This is for Aaron Enigma. And most of all, this for the WWCF Champion Jay Carroll. You better get ready, son, 'cause there ain't a god damn thing you can say to me that's going to change my mind. Ref, ring the bell.
*Viva snatches the microphone back for one last attempt at peace.*
Viva Los Bio Dome: Wait, wait, wait one second. I'm laying it all out on the table right now, man. It's like this, man. I don't want to have to fight you to prove my point. If I beat you, what do I get? Another notch on my belt? I don't have a belt anymore, I don't have a chance to win that title. I don't have anything to fight for, 'Naitch. You beat me, and you're on the fast track to success... But do you really want to beat a man that's already been beaten? Seth took my livelyhood away from me. He took my opportunity to fight for the title that me and you both want so badly. Haven't I taken enough punishment? This is my last peace offering, 'Naitch.
*Viva Los Bio Dome holds out his hand to be shaken. Littlenaitch looks down at his hand, and puts his hand to his chin in contemplation.*
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Don't do it, 'Naitch! Give this man the beating he deserves!
Jesse King: Viva's made some good points, 'Rilla. There's really no point in these two fighting right now. This is Seth's check mate in the continual game of chess he's been playing with Viva, and I don't know if 'Naitch is comfortable being a pawn in Seth's game. Viva was smart to bring it up.
*Littlenaitch shakes Viva's hands. Viva's smile is from ear to ear, and he turns to walk out of the ring, but 'Naitch doesn't let go. Viva looks over at 'Naitch. 'Naitch smiles and hits him with a clothesline. The crowd popped like a bomb.*
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: YES! 'Naitch, don't ever change! Teach this Kid the repercussions of the havoc he's wreaked!
Jesse King: Here we go! Viva tried, but it backfired, and he's going to have to fight... HARD if he wants a snowballs chance in hell in this match!
Referee Lloyd McFloyd quickly calls for the bell, and the match begins.
Viva Los Bio Dome vs. Littlenaitch (No Holds Barred) Littlenaitch walks over to Viva, who's peeling himself off of the ground, and he kicks him square in the ribs. Gasping for air, Viva crawls to the ropes. 'Naitch begins hammering down fists on the back of Viva's head. Punch after punch after punch, until finally Viva hits him with a C-C-Combo Breaker, sending him to his knees in agony.
Jesse King: C-C-Combo Breaker by Viva. Cheap, but that's what it's going to take to tip the scales in his favor. He's fighting an angry Littlenaitch right now.
Viva gets up and kicks 'Naitch right in the face. He starts his garvin stomp. Stomps the left foot. Stomps the right foot. Stomps the left hand. Stomps at the right hand, but 'Naitch catches it, trips Viva, and locks in his figure four.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Holy! This could be it, folks! This could be all she wrote already! What excellent resolve by 'Naitch! The wherewithal to grab the foot and lock in the figure four!
Viva's writhing in agony. He's flailing like crazy until he sits up and begins throwing punches in to 'Naitch's midsection. 'Naitch won't break the hold, so Viva starts struggling to turn over. He flails once but 'Naitch brings him back. He tries again and gets a it closer. Finally, he's got 'Naitch on his side, but 'Naitch releases the hold before Viva can completely reverse it.
'Naitch stands up and taunts Viva, saying "Come get some!". Viva stands up and 'Naitch charges him. Viva hits a drop toehold and slides out of the ring. 'Naitch follows. The two brawl outside. Trading punches left and right, until Viva recognizes his location and grabs 'Naitches head, driving it into the ring steps. 'Naitch flails to the walkway and collapses. Viva begins working to separate the two ring steps. He finally detaches the top two steps and he grabs it. He walks over to 'Naitch, who's just getting up, and slams the steps onto his back. Viva sets the ring steps on top of 'Naitch and sits on them.
Viva begins taunting the crowd by checking his watch and laughing. He blows kisses to the women in the crowd. Out of nowhere, 'Naitch shifts his position under the stairs, causing them to slide off. Viva goes flying.
Jesse King: This is the stuff I'm talking about, 'Rilla. You know, I love Viva. He's got more talent than a lot of other guys in this business. But if he didn't act like he was god's gift, he wouldn't be in the positions he's in now. He's got to learn how to check his ego at the door if he ever wants to regain that title he covets so badly.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: I don't think he can change, Jess. The guy's an egotistical, self-centered jerk. It's honestly shocking he can coexist with the others in Heavy Metal Hollywood.
'Naitch is slow to get up, and so is Viva. They are both on their feet, and both go for the ring steps. They lock up with the steps inbetween them, and start trading punches. 'Naitch tires of it, and shoves Viva off. Viva backs up a couple of steps, and 'Naitch grabs the ring steps, tosses them to Viva. Viva catches them and 'Naitch dropkicks him in the knees. Viva falls forward and eats more ring steps.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: That was genius! Look at the teacher taking the student to school there!
Jesse King: I don't think I've ever seen that before. A veteran move by The Nature Boy.
"Naitch looks down and turns Viva on to his back. He climbs on to the guard rail and sets his sights on a gnarly leg drop that would snap Viva's neck in half. He jumps, but Viva rolls off of the steps. Viva quickly gets up, charges the sitting 'Naitch and kicks him square in the back of the head. Viva picks 'Naitch up and rolls him into the ring.
Viva slides into the ring and drops a knee on 'Naitch's head. He spits on 'Naitch before picking him up. Viva lifts him up and whips him off of the ropes. He goes for a running Lariat, but 'Naitch ducks and hits him with a quick scoop slam. 'Naitch picks him up and hits him with a thunderous chop. Viva takes the chop and returns fire with a bitchslap. 'Naitch with a chop, Viva with a bitch slap. The two continue to trade until finally Viva ducks 'Naitches chop and lifts him up for a quick fireman's carry.
Viva runs off the ropes before baseball slide kicking 'Naitch to the outside. Viva picks 'Naitch up and hits him with a snap DDT. 'Naitch has been cut open and he's bleeding badly.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: What a devastating DDT! The impact busted 'Naitch clean open! This match is turning out to be two men with stronger wills than we ever thought. Viva might not know it, but he's proving himself to belong by FIGHTING rather than hitting everyone with cheap shots, and he's got to be earning respect while doing it.
Jesse King: I've got to agree here. Viva's showing a lot more than anyone ever gave him credit for. Maybe this is the making of a brand new Viva here.
Viva picks 'Naitch up, who's still knocked out. Viva pulls the monitors out of the announce table, and tells Jesse and King to back up. Viva lays 'Naitch on the table, and makes his way up into the ring. Viva scales to the top rope and gets ready. Viva launches off of the top rope for a frog splash but 'Naitch rolls off of the table right in front of Jesse and King in the nick of time. Viva is practically buried under the wreckage of the table. 'Naitch is still gathering his composure, but he digs Viva out, throws his arm over his back, and carries him to the ring. 'Naitch slides Viva in, slides in himself, grabs Viva's legs, ties them up in the figure four, and collapses to the ground. Viva doesn't even move. 'Naitch, confused, tightens the hold. Viva just lays there dormant. 'Naitch doesn't know what to do, so he keeps it locked in and motions to the ref to see if he's conscious. The ref lifts Viva's arm. It drops with no resistance.
ONE!
The ref lifts his arm a second time, and again it drops with no resistance.
TWO!
The ref lifts Viva's arm a third time, and with a huge burst of energy, Viva uses the moment to shoot the arm to the ropes. The crowd boos mercilessly. The ref motions 'Naitch to break the hold, but he shakes his head.
Jesse King: Apparently, the ref has forgotten that this is a No Holds Barred match. 'Naitch can keep that sucker locked in as long as he wants, and he ain't done yet.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: If It was me, I'd just keep it locked in until Viva taps, although that plan might be flawed, because while he's in pain, it's quite clear that 'Naitch is going to have to find another way to beat Viva.
'Naitch frustratingly releases the hold, picks Viva up, lifts him up high, and rips him down with a brutal suplex. 'Naitch goes for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
Viva kicks out at two. Viva grabs the rope, pulls himself up and ducks a clothesline. Viva kicks 'Naitch in the chest and whips him into the corner. Viva gingerly runs to 'Naitch and hits him with a relatively weak flying knee. 'Naitch stumbles out of the corner and Viva hits him with a stiff backcracker. He turns him over and pins him.
ONE!
TWO!
'Naitch kicks out and Viva just hops on top of him and starts hitting him with punch after punch. 'Naitch eats about fifteen before Viva follows it with a sharp elbow and goes for another pin.
ONE!
TWO!
'Naitch gets his shoulder up. Viva gets up and drops a knee on 'Naitches head. He picks 'Naitch up, whips him off the rope, and hits him with a running lariat.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: I don't know how he's done it, but after that hellacious crash in to the announce table, Viva's found a way to find a little energy and turn this match around. Say what you will, but the momentum is in his favor right now.
Jesse King: You're right, man. It is in his favor, but the fact of the matter is that we've seen 'Naitch come back when we've least expected it time and time again. This is one man who can pull a win through a thimble, and this match is far from over.
Just as King finishes, Viva goes for another pin.
ONE!
TWO!
'Naitch gets a shoulder up and immediately rake Viva across the eyes.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: There's the 'Naitch of old! We don't see it much, but 'Naitch used to be the nastiest fighter in the WWCF. It's nice to see him recognize that he's going to have to pull every card in his deck to pull out the win here tonight.
Jesse King: Some would say that that move right there makes the Texas Toaster no better than The King of Hollywood.
Viva jumps up grabbing his eyes and 'Naitch pulls himself up and clotheslines Viva. 'Naitch picks Viva up, kicks him right in the gut, and hits him with a stunner.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Wow! I've never once seen him do that, but the move is so fitting! How's Viva going to get up from that?!
Jesse King: I have no clue. That was a shocking maneuver. Littlenaitch is putting his heart and soul on the line here tonight.
'Naitch quickly goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE---
Viva gets a shoulder up, and 'Naitch cannot believe it. He's got his hands in his head, and he peels himself up, bounces off of the ropes back first, runs to Viva, and hits an atomic leg drop. He gets up and does it again. He hits Viva with one last atomic leg drop for measure. He goes for a cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE---
Viva finds the rope with his left leg, and 'Naitch has had enough. 'Naitch stands up and uses his foot to push Viva to the outside. 'Naitch steps over the middle rope and drops down to the outside, picks Viva up, and irish whips him into the guard rails. 'Naitch starts choking Viva up against the guard rail. 'Naitch picks Viva up and yells at him.
Littlenaitch: Let's see how you like a taste of your own medicine!
'Naitch walks to the ring announcer's booth and grabs a steel chair. 'Naitch walks back over to Viva, who has now stood himself up, and swings the chair at him. Viva catches it at it's apex, and the two begin fighting for the chair. Viva quickly kicks 'Naitch in the groin and rips the chair from him. Viva looks at 'Naitch, and looks at the chair. He looks at both a few more times before tossing the chair towards Jesse and King and picking up 'Naitch and tossing him back into the ring.
Jesse King: Viva! What the HELL are you doing?! That was your chance to put this away, why would you pass that up?
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Maybe he's starting to realize that in order to get the respect he feels he deserves, he's going to have to start winning matches the right way. Maybe he's understanding what it takes to be a true champion in the WWCF.
Jesse King: Viva's not a true champion, and that's what makes him incredible. He's turning what's normal on its ear and he's ushering a new era of wrestler. He doesn't just win matches. He wins matches and debilitates his opponents, and if he has a change of heart he's going to find his road to the belt a lot rougher than it would be otherwise.
Viva slides into the ring and picks 'Naitch up. He locks 'Naitch into The Bedtime Story tightly, and 'Naitch starts struggling instantly.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Uh oh!! This could be all she wrote. Viva's new submission is a nasty one! I simply don't see how 'Naitch is going to get out of it.
'Naitch starts throwing elbows wildly. He misses several before connecting with a couple. Eventually, 'Naitch grabs the back of Viva's hits a desperation neckbreaker. Both men lie on the canvas drained.
The ref starts a ten count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Both men start to move a little bit.
FOUR!
FIVE!
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Both of these men are completely exhausted, King, but there has to be a winner! It can't end like this!
SIX!
SEVEN!
Viva turns over and grabs the bottom rope, while 'Naitch turns onto his belly.
EIGHT!
Viva grabs the second rope to pull himself up. 'Naitch all fours trying to find the energy to get up.
NINE!
Viva finally pulls himself up, and right before the ref counts ten, so does 'Naitch. Viva slowly walks towards Littlenaitch and quickly grabs him.
Jesse King: It looks like he's setting him up for The Bio Dome! Can he hit it?!
Viva struggles to lift 'Naitch up for the Bio Dome. With all his might, he's finally got him up to the apex, but before he can slam him down, his knees buckle and he falls. 'Naitch collapses right on top of him and the ref goes down for the count.
ONE!
TWO!
THR---!
Viva gets his shoulder up at the nick of time.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: ONE! TWO! THREE! He's got it. Is it over? NO! Viva gets his arm up, and ladies and gentleman we are seeing one for the record books here tonight! Neither of these men know the meaning of the word give up, and we are seeing a CLASSIC match. Believe you me, this'll be on the "Best of the Botch at the Beach" DVD.
Jesse King: Give it a rest, 'Rilla. I'm trying to watch the match here. 'Naitch can barely believe what has happened, and he instantly tries to take advantage.
He lifts Viva up, locks him up, and throws him into the corner. He begins stomping, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. The crowd counts along. He picks Viva up again and notices that Viva's busted wide open, a cut that is gushing blood, he smiles and whips him off of the ropes and goes for a clothesline. Viva ducks, spins around, and hits him with The Purple Sticky Punch.
Jesse King: Purple Sticky Punch! He pulled it out of nowhere! Good god, Viva! Go for the pin!
Viva drops down to both knees, grabs 'Naitches arm and goes for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THRE---!
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: WHAT?! HE KICKED OUT! THIS MATCH AIN'T OVER, FOLKS! These two men are both beaten to bloody pulps, but this match will NOT be over until one of these men is crowned the winner.
Jesse King: I simply can't believe it. This is insane. Who's going to break who? Who's going to find a way to win this match?!
The look on Viva's face is not one of shock, and it's not one of surprise. It's one of illness. His face turns a light tint of green as he contemplates just what it's going to take to put Littlenaitch away. Viva walks over to the downed 'Naitch and walks right into a school boy.
ONE!
TWO!
THR---!
Jesse King: He almost got you there, Viva!
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Textbook Nature Boy. The guy simply knows how to win matches.
Viva quickly gets up, and 'Naitch gets up as well. 'Naitch goes to lock up, but Viva blocks it and spits right in 'Naitch's eye. Viva charges the ropes and drop kicks 'Naitch while he's trying to clean his eyes. Viva picks Littlenaitch up, and goes again for the Bio Dome.
Jesse King: He's got 'Naitch up! Does he have the energy to hit the Bio Dome?!
Viva hits the Bio Dome, leaving no chance for him to miss. Bloodied and beaten, he uses every fiber of energy he has left to throw his arm over 'Naitch.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: I'm not body language expert, but this is it. If Littlenaitch finds the wherewithal to kick out of this, Viva's got nothing less. It's now or never for Viva Los Bio Dome.
The ref starts the count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The ref calls for the bell as neither men move. Finally, after a couple of minutes of round of applause from a thankful crowd, Viva peels himself off of 'Naitch and rolls to the outside. As he walks to the ramp, he turns to 'Naitch, who motions as if he was tipping his cap to Viva. Viva returns the favor and heads to the back. 'Naitch motions to the crowd, who cheers loudly for him, rolls outside, and walks up the ramp.
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: He did it! He did it! Viva finally hit the Bio Dome! Believe you me, all that talk about how Littlenaitch was below him, how he was too old to hang with the big boys, how he was a has been and he couldn't take the heat anymore... Littlenaitch just shut that talk right down with one of the best losing performances of his career!
Jesse King: Honestly, I'm shocked that Viva pulled it out. I can't believe he did it.
Jesse King: A main even caliber match just took place and we still have a hell of a card left! I hope you bear with us as we bring out a crew to rebuild the announce table. As we get this done, check out this piece on why this next match is so important.
A video package plays, highlighting the feud between The Metal Express and The Human Hate Machines, dating back to before the Stable Wars II. All the brawls, the wins by Square and Hangman in singles competition, and the attack last Monday by Headbanger and Dave. The final shot is Square and Hangman, bloodied and battered in the middle of the ring.
WWCF World Tag Team Championships: The Metal Express V. Square and The Hangman
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: And we're back! The next match is our World Tag Team Championship encounter, The Metal Express defending against Square and The Hangman.
Muffer: The following contest is set for one fall and it is for the WWCF World Tag Team Championship!
*I Don’t Care*
Square and The Hangman make their way to the ring.
Muffer - Introducing first, the challengers! At a total combined weight of 510 pounds, representing the Human Hate Machines, Square and The Hangman!
Hoss - Square and The Hangman have gotten the upper hand on The Metal Express in singles matches the past few weeks, Jess.
King - Yeah, but remember Headbanger Man and D-Day Dave left them laying on NiteRaw last week. The Express is still in it to win it.
*We’re Not Gonna Take It*
Headbanger and Dave walk out, carrying the belts. Dave is sporting a blond streak in his hair that has not previously been seen.
Muffer - And their opponents! Weighing in at a total combined weight of 498 pounds, they are the defending WWCF World Tag Team Champions, D-Day Dave and The Headbanger Man, The Metal Express!
King - OK, what the hell is up with Dave’s hair?!
Hoss - Long story, Jess. Long story.
The Express approach the ring, but Square and Hangman jump them on the outside!
Hoss - And The Hate Machines not waiting for them to get in the ring to start the match!
All four men brawl on the floor, Headbanger battling Square and Dave taking on Hangman. Headbanger throws Square against the guardrail, then hit’s a spinebuster on the ramp! Dave chops away at Hangman, then suplex’s him on top of Square! The Metal Express tear off their t-shirts and toss them aside. Hangman back up, Dave with a knee to the ribs, then a Headbanger big boot!
King - See Gorilla? You can’t count out the Metal Express just yet! There’s a reason why they’ve been Champions for almost six months!
Square get’s to his feet and he grabs Dave by the hair and throws him into the guardrail! Headbanger charges, but Square meets him with a dropkick! Hangman makes his way to ringside and grabs a chair!
Hoss - Now wait just a second! This is NOT a no-disqualifications match!
King - No Gorilla, but the bell hasn’t rung yet, so it’s still anything goes!
Headbanger picks up Square and slams him on the sand outside the ring, but Hangman waylays him with a chairshot! He hammers Headbanger with the chair, then measures up Dave as he get’s to his feet. Hangman lunges, but Dave ducks! Dave snatches the chair, rams Hangman in the ribs, then DDT’s him on the chair!
King - See, this is the kind of match I expected between these two teams, Gorilla! A no-holds-barred brawl!
Hoss - But at some point, you’d think the referee would try to restore order so the actual match can begin!
King - These two teams despise each other! Let ‘em go!
Square back up, Dave fells him with a clothesline, then slingshot’s him into the side of the ring! Headbanger grabs Hangman and set’s him up for a piledriver on the ramp, but Hangman back body drop’s him! Headbanger clutches his back, as Hangman scoops him up and Alabama Slam’s him onto the chair! He then runs up behind Dave and blasts him with a lariat, before tossing him into the ring. Will Alphonzo signals for the bell!
Hoss - And we’re finally underway, Jess!
King - Yeah, but Headbanger’s out on the outside! This is a glorified handicap match right now, Gorilla!
Square picks up Dave and suplex’s him! Cover!
1! 2! Kickout!
Hangman tag’s in. Scoop slam, followed by an elbow drop, then another cover.
1 2 Kickout!
Hangman picks up Dave and hangs him upside down in the corner. On the outside, Headbanger starts crawling towards the ring. Square tags in and hit’s a sliding elbow to Dave’s face! Hangman holds Dave’s feet while Square kick’s away at the tag team champ! Headbanger starts to get to his feet, but Hangman runs over and clothesline’s him, then DDT’s him on the sand!
Hoss - The Hate Machines doing their best to keep Headbanger Man out of this match!
King - When you only have one opponent to contend with, it makes the match that much easier, Gorilla!
Back in the ring, Square is down on all fours, punching away at Dave, while Hangman grabs a microphone cable from ringside. Square holds Dave steady as Hangman wraps the cord around his leg’s literally hanging him upside down in the corner! Square and Hangman hammer away at the helpless tag team champion until Alphonzo yells at them to back off or be disqualified. Alphonzo unties Dave, but Square immediately pounces on him, snap suplexing him over, then dropping a knee across his chest. Hangman tags in, legdrop, then a cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
King - How is he kicking out, Gorilla?!
Hoss - It’s that championship mentality, Jess. Keep fighting until you have nothing left!
Hangman scoops Dave up over his shoulder and runs at the turnbuckle, but Dave slides free and rolls Hangman up!
1! 2! Square kick’s Dave in the back of the head, breaking up the pin!
They drag Dave to their corner and Square tags in, as Headbanger start’s to stir on the outside. Hangman holds Dave for Square to hit a double axehandle from off the top rope! Hangman tags back in, uranage to Dave! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Hoss - Dave keeps taking a beating Jess, but he’s hangin’ in there!
King - But I don’t think he can take much more, Gorilla! Headbanger needs to get to the ring or we’ll have new champs for sure!
Hangman locks Dave in a front facelock, then hoist him up and drops him stomach first across his knee! On the outside, Headbanger slowly begins pulling himself up to the ring apron. Square sees this and dives on to him from the apron! Hangman rolls to the outside and kicks Headbanger in the ribs, then slams him into the guardrail! Hangman rolls back in to break the count, while Square kicks away at Headbanger. Hangman goes to pick Dave up, but Dave catches him in a small package!
1! 2! Square dives back in to break it up!
Hoss - And how close was that, Jess?! I thought it was over!
King - It’s the numbers game, Gorilla. Dave is essentially fighting by himself right now. It may be just a matter of time!
Hangman positions Dave across his knee as Square climbs to the top rope. He leaps off with an elbow across Dave’s throat!
Hoss - Decapitation! What a move that was!
Square makes the cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
The Hate Machines can’t believe it, but Hangman scoops Dave up in a bear hug. Square bounds off the ropes with a clothesline!
King - Hart Attack, Gorilla! Their pullin’ out all the stops tonight!
Hangman in for the cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
King - Incredible, Gorilla! Dave will not stay down!
Hangman perches Dave up on his shoulders as Square goes up top.
Hoss - Uh-oh! This could spell the end, Jess!
Square prepares to leap, but Headbanger Man shoves him off to the outside! Dave rolls Hangman up in a victory roll!
1! 2! Kickout!
Dave dives to the corner and tags Headbanger!
King - Finally Headbanger gets in this match!
Headbanger meets Hangman with some punches, then a suplex! Hangman back up, Headbanger with a slam! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Headbanger props Hangman up on the top rope, then climbs up as well. He hooks him for the Blastbeat Bomb, but Square leaps up and nails him with a knee to the face! Hangman back body drop’s Headbanger to the mat, then comes off the top with a moonsault press! Cover!
1!
Dave tries to get in, but Square pulls him out!
2!
Kickout!
King - Unbelievable, Gorilla! The champs won’t quit!
Dave throws Square into the ringpost, then charges, but Square moves and Dave slams into the post! In the ring, Hangman set’s Headbanger up for the Slash Buster, but Headbanger slips out of it, kick to midsection, Double Bass DDT! Both men down!
Hoss - Both teams giving everything they’ve got in this one!
On the outside, Square grabs Dave and hit’s the L7 on the sand! In the ring, Headbanger drapes an arm over Hangman!
1!
2!
Square breaks it up!
He pulls Headbanger up, SquarePlosion! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
King - That’s it, Gorilla! New Champions!
Muffer - Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, and NEEEEEEWWWWWWWW WWCF World Tag Team Champions, Square and The Hangman!
Square grabs both belts and holds them up high, before laying one next to Hangman. On the outside, EMTs check on Dave and Headbanger. Square rolls his partner to the outside as Amigo comes down to help him to the back, while Square raises both belts high in the air.
Hoss - One thing can be said for the Metal Express, Jess. For nearly six months, they proudly held those titles, fighting anyone who challenged them. And tonight was a phenomenal display of guts by both men against a team that has been simply dominant.
King - No doubt the Metal Express had a great run, Gorilla. And something tells me they’ll be back in the hunt before long.
Hoss - Indeed. Moving on however, it is now time for our main event, the WWCF Championship bout between Jay Carroll and Tyfo!
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