Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Feb 24, 2010 10:48:30 GMT -5
As for the sequel to Aja's excellent remake of Hills Have Eyes, don't bother. It has none of the great suspense, or indeed, none of the great story, that it's predecessor has. It involves some of the stupidest, most inept National Guard soldiers and recruits you will EVER...ever see. I said it way back in the early horror thread when this sequel came out, and I'll say it again....but dammit, the National Guard should have sued the makers of this movie for slander and libel. It's one thing to have ONE stupid soldier, you know? That much I could have lived with....but having every single last Guardsman portrayed as a bumbling goof who can barely walk three steps without falling in the dirt, or misfiring a weapon, or crapping themselves in fear when they see a mutant....that's plain insulting. When the inbred, triple retarded, and outright idiotic hill people mutants are leaps and bounds smarter than your heroes....time to call it a day. Didn't Craven write the PD version of Hills Have Eyes 2? I've never seen the flick (heck, I've only seen half of Aja's movie) but I find it kind of odd that he would return to straight-up horror after making so much of Red Eye being his break into "legitimate" films. The less said of Music of the Heart, the better. ;D
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Post by Baixo Astral on Feb 24, 2010 10:51:18 GMT -5
Going to start in on my Coffin Joe boxed set tomorrow, whilst travelling to and from work - wish me luck.
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Welfare Willis
Crow T. Robot
Pornomancer 555-BONE FDIC Bonsured
Game Center CX Kacho on!
Posts: 44,259
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Post by Welfare Willis on Feb 24, 2010 11:05:18 GMT -5
The less said of Music of the Heart, the better. ;D Worst horror movie I ever saw. ;D
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erisi236
Fry's dog Seymour
... enjoys the rich, smooth taste of Camels.
Not good! Not good! Not good!
Posts: 21,904
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Post by erisi236 on Feb 24, 2010 12:01:23 GMT -5
As for the sequel to Aja's excellent remake of Hills Have Eyes, don't bother. It has none of the great suspense, or indeed, none of the great story, that it's predecessor has. It involves some of the stupidest, most inept National Guard soldiers and recruits you will EVER...ever see. I said it way back in the early horror thread when this sequel came out, and I'll say it again....but dammit, the National Guard should have sued the makers of this movie for slander and libel. It's one thing to have ONE stupid soldier, you know? That much I could have lived with....but having every single last Guardsman portrayed as a bumbling goof who can barely walk three steps without falling in the dirt, or misfiring a weapon, or crapping themselves in fear when they see a mutant....that's plain insulting. When the inbred, triple retarded, and outright idiotic hill people mutants are leaps and bounds smarter than your heroes....time to call it a day. That about sums it up really, part 2 was such a mess, which actually makes a bit of sense since the original part 2 was also a clusterf***.
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Post by Baixo Astral on Feb 24, 2010 12:10:31 GMT -5
I actually have the novelisation of the original Hills Have Eyes 2 - unreadable, but cool cover.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Feb 24, 2010 12:21:37 GMT -5
I actually have the novelisation of the original Hills Have Eyes 2 - unreadable, but cool cover. Wait...there was a novelization of Hills Have Eyes 2? I find that wildly amusing on so many levels.
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Post by mysterydriver on Feb 24, 2010 13:58:43 GMT -5
Darn, I wish I could find that one. I have a collection of Novelizations for movies considered "less-than-classic" ( ), usually enjoying how the author tries to turn the horrible moments of a movie into something that makes sense. The one for See No Evil was full of unintentional hilarity. Did you know that the reason Jacob Goodnight shoved the cell phone down the one girl's throat was because he thought it was evil black magic voices from the tiny box? You do now.
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Welfare Willis
Crow T. Robot
Pornomancer 555-BONE FDIC Bonsured
Game Center CX Kacho on!
Posts: 44,259
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Post by Welfare Willis on Feb 24, 2010 14:07:09 GMT -5
Darn, I wish I could find that one. I have a collection of Novelizations for movies considered "less-than-classic" ( ), usually enjoying how the author tries to turn the horrible moments of a movie into something that makes sense. The one for See No Evil was full of unintentional hilarity. Did you know that the reason Jacob Goodnight shoved the cell phone down the one girl's throat was because he thought it was evil black magic voices from the tiny box? You do now. SPOILER TAGS PUHLEEZEThank you. ;D
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Post by Rorschach on Feb 24, 2010 14:17:07 GMT -5
Darn, I wish I could find that one. I have a collection of Novelizations for movies considered "less-than-classic" ( ), usually enjoying how the author tries to turn the horrible moments of a movie into something that makes sense. The one for See No Evil was full of unintentional hilarity. Did you know that the reason Jacob Goodnight shoved the cell phone down the one girl's throat was because he thought it was evil black magic voices from the tiny box? You do now. Please tell me you have this one: Mixing the Mafia, the Brody clan, and a straight up voodoo witch doctor into one big island gumbo of a plot is dumb as hell, but to be honest, had we gotten that on the big screen, this flick MIGHT have had a shot to enter "so bad it's hilariously good" territory.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2010 14:24:41 GMT -5
I would've seen that.
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Post by Baixo Astral on Feb 24, 2010 16:49:13 GMT -5
Darn, I wish I could find that one. I have a collection of Novelizations for movies considered "less-than-classic" ( ), usually enjoying how the author tries to turn the horrible moments of a movie into something that makes sense. The one for See No Evil was full of unintentional hilarity. Did you know that the reason Jacob Goodnight shoved the cell phone down the one girl's throat was because he thought it was evil black magic voices from the tiny box? You do now. Heck, the next time I'm in the USA I'll send it to you.
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andrew8798
FANatic
on 24/7 this month
Posts: 106,081
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Post by andrew8798 on Feb 24, 2010 20:04:42 GMT -5
2 TV Spots for the Elm Street Remake
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andrew8798
FANatic
on 24/7 this month
Posts: 106,081
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Post by andrew8798 on Feb 24, 2010 20:44:05 GMT -5
Release date is June 15th
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Welfare Willis
Crow T. Robot
Pornomancer 555-BONE FDIC Bonsured
Game Center CX Kacho on!
Posts: 44,259
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Post by Welfare Willis on Feb 24, 2010 20:48:15 GMT -5
Release date is June 15th How are they legends of terror when several of the last sequels they've been good guys?
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Post by DSR on Feb 25, 2010 0:00:39 GMT -5
Darn, I wish I could find that one. I have a collection of Novelizations for movies considered "less-than-classic" ( ), usually enjoying how the author tries to turn the horrible moments of a movie into something that makes sense. Not really on the topic of horror, but I bought the novelization of STEEL (the Shaq superhero movie) for 50 cents at a department stores going-out-of-business sale years and years ago. I still haven't read it, though. Just thought I'd share.
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Post by Bullhead on Feb 25, 2010 0:21:02 GMT -5
I have the novelization of Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives. It starts with a flashback to Jason's childhood and his father is a character in the book. If they had made that into the movie instead, it would've been awesome. Not to say that Jason Lives isn't great just the way it is but still, you never know.
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Post by mysterydriver on Feb 25, 2010 0:24:40 GMT -5
Please tell me you have this one: Mixing the Mafia, the Brody clan, and a straight up voodoo witch doctor into one big island gumbo of a plot is dumb as hell, but to be honest, had we gotten that on the big screen, this flick MIGHT have had a shot to enter "so bad it's hilariously good" territory. I have Jaws, Jaws 2, and Jaws the Revenge. Sadly, I've yer to find Jaws 3 to complete my set...and yes I realize that Jaws was a novel first. Heck, the next time I'm in the USA I'll send it to you. Wow. Appreciate the offer. I never turn down free things. I have the novelization of Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives. It starts with a flashback to Jason's childhood and his father is a character in the book. If they had made that into the movie instead, it would've been awesome. Not to say that Jason Lives isn't great just the way it is but still, you never know. Jason books are fun Has anyone ever read the Friday the 13th Young Adult book series? I enjoyed the one that takes place at the carnival.
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Post by DSR on Feb 25, 2010 0:30:36 GMT -5
I have the novelization of Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives. It starts with a flashback to Jason's childhood and his father is a character in the book. If they had made that into the movie instead, it would've been awesome. Not to say that Jason Lives isn't great just the way it is but still, you never know. I believe they said in Crystal Lake Memories that that book is a pretty well sought-after collector's item nowadays. Wish I could get my hands on a copy. I have two of those: "Mother's Day" and "The Carnival." It's been a long ass time since I've read them, though. I remember the premise being that Jason's mask possessed anybody that wore it. That was weird, but fun. I may have to dig those old books out.
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Feb 25, 2010 0:36:12 GMT -5
Darn, I wish I could find that one. I have a collection of Novelizations for movies considered "less-than-classic" ( ), usually enjoying how the author tries to turn the horrible moments of a movie into something that makes sense. The one for See No Evil was full of unintentional hilarity. Did you know that the reason Jacob Goodnight shoved the cell phone down the one girl's throat was because he thought it was evil black magic voices from the tiny box? You do now. Please tell me you have this one: Mixing the Mafia, the Brody clan, and a straight up voodoo witch doctor into one big island gumbo of a plot is dumb as hell, but to be honest, had we gotten that on the big screen, this flick MIGHT have had a shot to enter "so bad it's hilariously good" territory. Hell, it sounds like "The Deep" with a bigger shark!
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Post by Bullhead on Feb 25, 2010 0:38:35 GMT -5
I have the novelization of Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives. It starts with a flashback to Jason's childhood and his father is a character in the book. If they had made that into the movie instead, it would've been awesome. Not to say that Jason Lives isn't great just the way it is but still, you never know. I believe they said in Crystal Lake Memories that that book is a pretty well sought-after collector's item nowadays. Wish I could get my hands on a copy. Other than missing the front cover it's in decent condition. Not that I would ever sell it. I've had it for years and actually read it a long time before I saw the movie. I may dig it up and read it again now.
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