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Post by Rorschach on Jun 14, 2010 13:57:25 GMT -5
Well, hell...maybe they'll at LEAST give her the role of the girl who {Spoiler}eats a gunshot and dies, and not the girl who ends up captured, tortured, and skinned alive. Though maybe perverse entertainment MAY be gathered if they DO cast Kristen as the latter. I wouldn't expect half that s*** to happen in this one. They're already tossing the term "American audience" into the conversation, so we can expect a lot of changes to the script. Whatever, this American remake garbage just bores me now. Excuse me while I go on a Carlin-esque rant on this: (and this isn't directed at anyone here, just "venting my spleen" as it were, though I'd much rather vent another bodily receptacle on this fad, but I digress on that). You know what REALLY galls me about these "remakes for American audiences"? It's the fact that these studios CATER to the troglodytes and dumb down otherwise smart, engaging and intelligent fare, so that it will "do better box office amongst American moviegoers". Why the f*** do they assume that we WANT or NEED this to be done? I for one KNOW which types of films are "check your brain at the door" affairs (mostly anything done by Michael Bay or Jerry Bruckheimer, and anything with the Platinum Dunes logo stamped on it) and which are going to engage my cerebrum...and I don't mind having my brain engaged when I'm in the theater! I don't! And I know that MANY Americans agree with me on that. We're NOT an entire country full of mouth breathing hicks that f*** our sisters and have elbows on our foreheads from GENERATIONS of inbreeding! We CAN process complex and nuanced plotlines...we CAN! The fact that f*****g LOST of all things has been one of America's highest rated TV shows should prove that to be an ironclad FACT! The popularity of HOUSE and CSI also speak to the above average intelligence of a large chunk of this great nation. So WHY the f***, when a great horror movie comes raging out of Japan or Germany or Europe and takes the fancy of the American Horror Community, does an American remake of that film have to be so god DAMN retarded in order to be profitable? WHY do you try and attract summer blockbuster level business with a film whose SOLE reason for being popular in it's original form was just BECAUSE it was an "anti-popcorn movie"? Why do you f*****g try and fix what is NOT broken? The only answer I can come up with: Someone, high up on the Hollywood food chain has their head so far up their own ass that they're speaking in short bursts of intestinal gas. It's the only answer that makes sense, really. Someone is just oblivious and just doesn't GET it. You don't HAVE to turn Martyrs into Transformers 2 and you don't NEED gut the story to make it more "accessible" to a broader audience. If those TV shows that I talked about above....if those things are ANY indication, then the "broader audience" can handle a smart, intense movie like Martyrs just fine in it's original form. An America that has made those shows, not to mention films like SAW entertainment JUGGERNAUTS, does not NEED to have things "dumbed down" to enjoy them. Secondly, a film like Martyrs....half of the f*****g appeal lies in the fact that it is NOT accessible to the "lowest common denominator" audience of moviegoers, let alone a great deal of horror fans. People who enjoy, and for the most part really LIKE "blockbuster" movies like Transformers aren't the target audience for Martyrs or any of the other "smart" films to come out of Asia or Europe, and those films should NOT be brought down to THAT level...if anything, let those kinds of people try and come UP to the film's level. And if some beer-swilling redneck doesn't "get" Martrys or Marebito or Let The Right One In nothing of value is lost. He or she will go back to their Bay-splosion festival and probably forget they ever even watched the film. But you know, call me an optimist because as I said before, I do have a huge amount of faith in American moviegoers, and I think there's a very good chance that that same redneck just MIGHT be so blown away by the concepts he or she sees on the screen that they start raving to all their friends and family about how AWESOME and twisted this movie was, and how it will "really make you think". And then what the movie has actually managed to DO is, it's managed to maintain it's intensity, integrity and intelligence (Thank you, Kurt Angle!) and it's managed to convert the viewer and bring them onboard with a more cerebral style of filmmaking, rather than dumbing itself down and catering to the lowest common denominator of moviegoers. My hope is that someone up in that food chain will one day wake the f*** up and realize that American audiences are SMARTER than they're given credit for being, and that simply taking a foreign horror cult darling and remaking it with the "it" girl of the moment IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. Let me conclude with a simple lesson: A Tale of Two Sisters > The UninvitedPulse (Kairo) > PULSEThe Eye (Gin Gwai) > The EyeThree TEXTBOOK examples of why inserting the "hot piece of ass" of the moment into your film is NOT a substitute for the film being ANY f*****g good at all. I rest my case. ;D ;D
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Post by Banjo Is Broken on Jun 15, 2010 0:24:23 GMT -5
I saw "Paranormal Activity" the other night. It was pretty good. I wasn't completely enthralled by it, but it was decent. I'm still debating which ending I liked better though. The original, or the alternate. I wasn't thrilled with either of them really. One thing I do know is that the lead girl has a big, bootylicious butt.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 15, 2010 1:14:41 GMT -5
I saw "Paranormal Activity" the other night. It was pretty good. I wasn't completely enthralled by it, but it was decent. I'm still debating which ending I liked better though. The original, or the alternate. I wasn't thrilled with either of them really. One thing I do know is that the lead girl has a big, bootylicious butt. She has quite the delicious rack, too. ;D
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Jun 15, 2010 1:47:41 GMT -5
I saw "Paranormal Activity" the other night. It was pretty good. I wasn't completely enthralled by it, but it was decent. I'm still debating which ending I liked better though. The original, or the alternate. I wasn't thrilled with either of them really. One thing I do know is that the lead girl has a big, bootylicious butt. She has quite the delicious rack, too. ;D Oh my god, I just came up with the porn version of this...... Para-whore-nal Ass-tivity...Your Ass Is Posessed!{Spoiler}And yes, I know there's probably more than one porn parody on it...mine will be better.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 15, 2010 11:34:50 GMT -5
We're NOT an entire country full of mouth breathing hicks that f*** our sisters and have elbows on our foreheads from GENERATIONS of inbreeding! We're not? Damn, my life has been a waste... ;D Epic rant there, R-Man, and I agree with every word. Contrary to what the studio heads think, we DO want more from a movie than just scantily-clad women and gore...we CAN, and WANT, to think, you idiots!
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theryno665
Grimlock
wants a title underneath the stars
Kinda Homeless
Posts: 13,571
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Post by theryno665 on Jun 15, 2010 18:58:28 GMT -5
She has quite the delicious rack, too. ;D Oh my god, I just came up with the porn version of this...... Para-whore-nal Ass-tivity...Your Ass Is Posessed!{Spoiler}And yes, I know there's probably more than one porn parody on it...mine will be better. There's a funny bit on David Cross' new CD where he talks about going to a porn store and finding a video called "My Ass Is Haunted". Anyway, loved your rant Rorschach and pretty much thought the same thing while watching Timecrimes last night. (PS - If you haven't seen Timecrimes yet, DO IT!) As good as it was, I just sat there wondering if it was going to be remade and how much it'd be butchered. And the thing is, even though it has to do with time travel, it surprisingly isn't that convoluted. But I'm sure it'll have to get oversimplified for the "American audience", the same people that look at a subtitled movie and say "If I wanted to read, I'd pick up a book."
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 16, 2010 18:41:35 GMT -5
Oh my god, I just came up with the porn version of this...... Para-whore-nal Ass-tivity...Your Ass Is Posessed!{Spoiler}And yes, I know there's probably more than one porn parody on it...mine will be better. There's a funny bit on David Cross' new CD where he talks about going to a porn store and finding a video called "My Ass Is Haunted". Anyway, loved your rant Rorschach and pretty much thought the same thing while watching Timecrimes last night. (PS - If you haven't seen Timecrimes yet, DO IT!) As good as it was, I just sat there wondering if it was going to be remade and how much it'd be butchered. And the thing is, even though it has to do with time travel, it surprisingly isn't that convoluted. But I'm sure it'll have to get oversimplified for the "American audience", the same people that look at a subtitled movie and say "If I wanted to read, I'd pick up a book." I hate people who do that. I dislike them for not giving a GREAT film a chance because it has subtitles, but I HATE them for being too lazy to f*****g READ! THAT.....THAT RIGHT THERE is why we're headed for Idiocracy in the next ten years. "BUUUUH,,,,,GUUUUHHHH....DUUUHHHRRRR....Whets a book?" *FACEPALM*
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 18, 2010 11:59:41 GMT -5
Well, since I'm officially out of ideas, I'm just burning through my favorite movie series of all time over at the blog site. Linked at my sig, you know the drill.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 18, 2010 13:49:15 GMT -5
Heh heh heh....maybe this will get the thread back on track (and get Mr. Rigby's blood pressure up a bit)
Suppose it were announced tomorrow that, in an effort to revive _____ horror franchise Rob Zombie had been brought on board for a reboot! How do you think that movie would play out? I'll go first....this is for you, TR!
ROB ZOMBIE PRESENTS: THE GRUDGE
DIRECTED BY: ROB ZOMBIE
STARRING: Sherri Moon Zombie as Kayako Saeki Kelly Sue Sockwood
Bill Moseley as Takeo Saeki Trucker Sockwood
Daeg Farch as Toshio Saeki Bobby Luther Joe Sockwood
Sid Haig as Officer Billy Jack Bullsnort, investigating the Sockwood trailer
Denise Milani, as Betty Jean Bigguns, his stripper/hooker girlfriend who stays the night in the haunted trailer on a dare. (AKA "victim ONE")
Crrrrroooooaaaaaaaaaaa-F*****g-ooooooaaaaaak, you stupid pieces of s***!"
Coming this Halloween! ;D
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 18, 2010 14:04:27 GMT -5
Heh heh heh....maybe this will get the thread back on track (and get Mr. Rigby's blood pressure up a bit) Suppose it were announced tomorrow that, in an effort to revive _____ horror franchise Rob Zombie had been brought on board for a reboot! How do you think that movie would play out? I'll go first....this is for you, TR! ROB ZOMBIE PRESENTS: THE GRUDGEDIRECTED BY: ROB ZOMBIE STARRING: Sherri Moon Zombie as Kayako Saeki Kelly Sue Sockwood Bill Moseley as Takeo Saeki Trucker Sockwood Daeg Farch as Toshio Saeki Bobby Luther Joe Sockwood Sid Haig as Officer Billy Jack Bullsnort, investigating the Sockwood trailer Denise Milani, as Betty Jean Bigguns, his stripper/hooker girlfriend who stays the night in the haunted trailer on a dare. (AKA "victim ONE") Crrrrroooooaaaaaaaaaaa-F*****g-ooooooaaaaaak, you stupid pieces of s***!" Coming this Halloween! ;D ;D I actually got a good laugh out of that. Thank you. My own pick...I think that the ONE movie that he would absolutely mangle more than any other would be something known even MORE for its slow burn and restrained tone... Ladies and gentlemen, Rob Zombie's Audition... Of course, Sheri Moon would play the redneckified version of Asami. As for the main character, I think he'd actually go with some '70s-'80s horror movie actor that he hasn't brought on board yet for a pointless cameo. Tom Atkins is probably available these days. One last bit on the blog...now the idea doesn't seem so pointless. I've been kicking around opening up an all- Ju-On/Grudge fan site for a while, but unfortunately I know zilch about web design, so this is as close as it's ever going to get. ADDED: Just reread that synopsis, and man, oh man...the "origin" scenes in a Zombie Grudge film would just be PAINFUL to watch. Think the opening scenes of Halloween 2007 x 1000.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 19, 2010 17:09:32 GMT -5
Welp, time to resurrect this thread once again with a REVIEW! THE NEW DAUGHTERSTARRING: Kevin Costner, Ivana Baquero, Samantha Mathis and Gattlin Griffith DIRECTED BY: Luis Berdejo Color me shocked, folks, but it appears that Kevin Costner and Luis Berdejo have joined forces to make an American "J-horror" film! In his latest effort, The New Daughter, Costner plays John James, a recently divorced father of two and accomplished author, who has decided to move to an idyllic little country house with his children, both in an effort to get away from his old life, and also to find the solitude and tranquility necessary to write. But, much as the case was in similar films like Cold Creek Manor and The Amityville Horror, there is much more to this house than was originally disclosed by the shady realtor. It's not too long after moving in that John's daughter Louisa (played beautifully by Baquero, who should have a long and fruitful career in the genre ahead of her) begins to first hear things at night, and then later become moody and withdrawn, going so far as to lash out at her schoolmates and her father. Something sinister lives on John's new property...and it wants Louisa for itself. The New Daughter earns its comparisons to the "J-horror" genre with its deliberate pacing and slow-burn building of tension. Other, lesser films would have turned this into a creature fest from the get-go, or would have OVERLOADED it with sound stinger scares, or "CAT!" moments.....not here. The New Daughter keeps you just as much in the dark as Costner's John James is, forcing you to go at his pace as he pieces together the clues of what exactly is haunting his property, and what exactly this entity wants with his daughter. Though I am surprised to see Kevin Costner in a DTV role, he acquits himself well, and plays an absolutely believable father figure. I wish I could say the same about Mathis, as I *DEARLY* love her as an actress, and think she is criminally underused by Hollywood....but she's barely a footnote here, popping up as the kids' schoolteacher, and then again in maybe one or two more scenes. The script and plot could have done a LOT more with her, as she is a wonderful actress...but such is not the case. Now, I have to go into spoiler territory a bit here, but I feel it is my duty as a reviewer to advise potential viewers that the ending of The New Daughter may not sit well with them, as {Spoiler} it is one of the more "bleak" endings of any recent horror film I have seen. You'd expect Costner to ride in on his white horse and save the day and such...but it is not to be here. Yet another thing that actually earned the film points in my book, and also earned it comparison to foreign films where such endings are not as TABOO as they are over here. That this film had the guts to end as it did is amazing, and I salute both the director, and Kevin Costner for allowing it to do so, even at the cost of "not sending everyone home happy". ***1/2 out of five. A solid outing from Costner and worth checking out on a lazy summer evening. ESPECIALLY if you have surround sound, as the sounds these...."things" make are truly unnerving! ;D ;D
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 20, 2010 14:03:06 GMT -5
Welp, time to resurrect this thread once again with a REVIEW! THE NEW DAUGHTERSTARRING: Kevin Costner, Ivana Baquero, Samantha Mathis and Gattlin Griffith DIRECTED BY: Luis Berdejo Color me shocked, folks, but it appears that Kevin Costner and Luis Berdejo have joined forces to make an American "J-horror" film! In his latest effort, The New Daughter, Costner plays John James, a recently divorced father of two and accomplished author, who has decided to move to an idyllic little country house with his children, both in an effort to get away from his old life, and also to find the solitude and tranquility necessary to write. But, much as the case was in similar films like Cold Creek Manor and The Amityville Horror, there is much more to this house than was originally disclosed by the shady realtor. It's not too long after moving in that John's daughter Louisa (played beautifully by Baquero, who should have a long and fruitful career in the genre ahead of her) begins to first hear things at night, and then later become moody and withdrawn, going so far as to lash out at her schoolmates and her father. Something sinister lives on John's new property...and it wants Louisa for itself. The New Daughter earns its comparisons to the "J-horror" genre with its deliberate pacing and slow-burn building of tension. Other, lesser films would have turned this into a creature fest from the get-go, or would have OVERLOADED it with sound stinger scares, or "CAT!" moments.....not here. The New Daughter keeps you just as much in the dark as Costner's John James is, forcing you to go at his pace as he pieces together the clues of what exactly is haunting his property, and what exactly this entity wants with his daughter. Though I am surprised to see Kevin Costner in a DTV role, he acquits himself well, and plays an absolutely believable father figure. I wish I could say the same about Mathis, as I *DEARLY* love her as an actress, and think she is criminally underused by Hollywood....but she's barely a footnote here, popping up as the kids' schoolteacher, and then again in maybe one or two more scenes. The script and plot could have done a LOT more with her, as she is a wonderful actress...but such is not the case. Now, I have to go into spoiler territory a bit here, but I feel it is my duty as a reviewer to advise potential viewers that the ending of The New Daughter may not sit well with them, as {Spoiler} it is one of the more "bleak" endings of any recent horror film I have seen. You'd expect Costner to ride in on his white horse and save the day and such...but it is not to be here. Yet another thing that actually earned the film points in my book, and also earned it comparison to foreign films where such endings are not as TABOO as they are over here. That this film had the guts to end as it did is amazing, and I salute both the director, and Kevin Costner for allowing it to do so, even at the cost of "not sending everyone home happy". ***1/2 out of five. A solid outing from Costner and worth checking out on a lazy summer evening. ESPECIALLY if you have surround sound, as the sounds these...."things" make are truly unnerving! ;D ;D That definitely sounds like a worthy film. In fact, since I'm on my way to the local Wal-Mart to see if they have any more $5 DVD hidden gems, I might just give the Redbox a perusal to see if it's in there. You know, I've noticed that this thread tends to get neglected quite a bit on weekends. Either because everyone is out doing something, or just avoiding it in order to at least make it SEEM like there's something better to do. (Un)fortunately, I do neither.
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Post by Big DSR Energy on Jun 20, 2010 16:20:20 GMT -5
I really wish I had stuff to contribute, but I've just been burned out on horror as of late.
Of course, it doesn't help that the sun is out much more in the summertime than in winter. Watching horror movies in daylight hours just doesn't feel right.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 20, 2010 16:29:22 GMT -5
I really wish I had stuff to contribute, but I've just been burned out on horror as of late. Of course, it doesn't help that the sun is out much more in the summertime than in winter. Watching horror movies in daylight hours just doesn't feel right. I hear ya, man. I hate summer with a passion, and that's one of the reasons. Sooner or later, it will be October when this thread is abuzz with countless horror reviews, a fresh batch of new scary flicks at the multiplexes, a new Saw to rip to shreds, and various other nerdy countdown-like things.
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andrew8798
FANatic
on 24/7 this month
Posts: 106,119
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Post by andrew8798 on Jun 21, 2010 0:19:10 GMT -5
Ended up watching Grizzly tonight it wasn't too bad
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Post by Young Game on Jun 21, 2010 1:08:08 GMT -5
HELP ME WC HORROR THREAD! YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.
Okay...here's the thing: I'm trying to remember the name of this horror movie I read about in an early issue of Fangoria magazine. I was about 12 or 13 at the time, so this would have been around 1992-93.
The plot of the movie, from what I remember, was as such: A backwoods auto mechanic (?) is stranding unsuspecting motorists, and harvesting their organs to sell on the Black Market. I remember their being pictures in the magazine of people cut up, with various organs missing, and various auto parts used to replace those organs, I'm guessing to keep them alive and the organs fresh. I think he kept them in a shed or farmhouse...maybe a garage. For some reason, I also remember Phantasm's Angus Scrimm being in this movie as maybe a Doctor or something. EDIT: Just checked Angus Scrimm's iMDB page, and nothing remotely like this during that time period. Hmmmm....[/EDIT]
This is a weird feeling. I can remember almost everything about this article, picture perfect, but I can't remember the name of this damn movie!
Does this movie sound familiar to anyone? At all? Maybe? I'm normally not one to just fabricate things...and I doubt, even on my most creative day, I could have just made something like this up. Nah.
Any help you can provide on this current cinematic mystery is greatly, greatly, appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 21, 2010 1:51:13 GMT -5
That sounds like one of the GoreZone movies, but I can't remember which one. Maybe RAW MEAT?
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Post by Young Game on Jun 21, 2010 2:01:36 GMT -5
That sounds like one of the GoreZone movies, but I can't remember which one. Maybe RAW MEAT? Just Google'd "RAW MEAT". While this is a movie I'm adding to my list, it's not quite the one I was thinking of. Thanks, though.
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Jun 21, 2010 2:38:39 GMT -5
HELP ME WC HORROR THREAD! YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE. Okay...here's the thing: I'm trying to remember the name of this horror movie I read about in an early issue of Fangoria magazine. I was about 12 or 13 at the time, so this would have been around 1992-93. The plot of the movie, from what I remember, was as such: A backwoods auto mechanic (?) is stranding unsuspecting motorists, and harvesting their organs to sell on the Black Market. I remember their being pictures in the magazine of people cut up, with various organs missing, and various auto parts used to replace those organs, I'm guessing to keep them alive and the organs fresh. I think he kept them in a shed or farmhouse...maybe a garage. For some reason, I also remember Phantasm's Angus Scrimm being in this movie as maybe a Doctor or something. EDIT: Just checked Angus Scrimm's iMDB page, and nothing remotely like this during that time period. Hmmmm....[/EDIT] This is a weird feeling. I can remember almost everything about this article, picture perfect, but I can't remember the name of this damn movie! Does this movie sound familiar to anyone? At all? Maybe? I'm normally not one to just fabricate things...and I doubt, even on my most creative day, I could have just made something like this up. Nah. Any help you can provide on this current cinematic mystery is greatly, greatly, appreciated. Thanks in advance. Is this is? www.tuckerjohnston.com/Blood_Salvage.htmlwww.imdb.com/title/tt0099153/Ray Walston's in it, possible you thought he was Angus.
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Post by Young Game on Jun 21, 2010 18:20:25 GMT -5
BLOOD SALVAGE!!! YES!!!! The name of this movie has been this mystery to me, off and on, for almost 6 months now. It's nice knowing this place exists, where I can lay down what pieces of the puzzle I have, and within a day or a few days...puzzle solved. Out-freakin-standing! Thanks a lot for that. Seriously.
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