Favorite Lines from Death of WCW

[Van Hagar]

I don't know if this has been done before, but what are some of you favorite funny lines from Death of WCW?

I think the best is, "Seeing him as nothing more than a midcarder, Eric Bischoff fired Steve Austin. He then went to the WWF and became the highest grossing wrestler. Oops."

I think the quote is a little off, but the "oops" at the end makes it hilarious.

If it's been done, go 'head on and delete this thread.

Also, RD, if you read this my favorite quote of your is from when the tape that featured an offer for a watch that tells you what year it is. "How old are you?" "I don't know, let me check my watch!"

[Goldenbane]

Now I read a lot of comic books, so this line(s) was especially funny to me....This isn't exact quotes, but I'm trying to be as close as possible.

Bam Bam Bigalow was counted out in a falls count anywhere match.

Yes that's right...the falls could count anywhere...even a different universe, but somehow Bigalow was counted out.

Y'see, Bam Bam stopped to help a girl...and when the ref didn't see Bam Bam there, he must not be ANYWHERE, and he started counting....

I'm amused by this because, like I said, I read a lot of comics...and in the Marvel Universe, you have super powerful items like the infinity guantlet and the cosmic cube....basically they can do "anything." When I first read that, I imagined Tony Shrillvone screaming "BAM BAM ISN'T HERE!! OOOOOHHHHHH MY!!! HIS OPPONENT MUST HAVE TRIGGERED THE EFFECTS OF THE INFINITY GAUNTLET AND ERASED BAM BAM FROM EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!! BIGALOW HAS BEEN COUNTED OUT!!! FANS, THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[danman2]

WTF

[Van Hagar]

goldenbane said:

Now I read a lot of comic books, so this line(s) was especially funny to me....This isn't exact quotes, but I'm trying to be as close as possible.

Bam Bam Bigalow was counted out in a falls count anywhere match.

Yes that's right...the falls could count anywhere...even a different universe, but somehow Bigalow was counted out.

Y'see, Bam Bam stopped to help a girl...and when the ref didn't see Bam Bam there, he must not be ANYWHERE, and he started counting....

I'm amused by this because, like I said, I read a lot of comics...and in the Marvel Universe, you have super powerful items like the infinity guantlet and the cosmic cube....basically they can do "anything." When I first read that, I imagined Tony Shrillvone screaming "BAM BAM ISN'T HERE!! OOOOOHHHHHH MY!!! HIS OPPONENT MUST HAVE TRIGGERED THE EFFECTS OF THE INFINITY GAUNTLET AND ERASED BAM BAM FROM EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!! BIGALOW HAS BEEN COUNTED OUT!!! FANS, THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What chapter was that in again?

[nutbunnies]

When they were talking about that Nitro where they had a scene filmed in choppers.

"Do not even ask how much this cost."

EDIT: Also, every time Buff Bagwell was mentioned during the Russo Era. Every time he was mentioned, he was doing something that was basically written for smarks, like discussing the outcome of the match and shit. Hilarious.

[rdreynolds]

The stuff about Sid's winning streak (which Bryan wrote) had me laughing so hard that I had a headache for four days. I even went to the emergency room, because I thought I had a brain hemmorage!

RD

[Goldenbane]

vanhagar3000 said:

goldenbane said:

Now I read a lot of comic books, so this line(s) was especially funny to me....This isn't exact quotes, but I'm trying to be as close as possible.

Bam Bam Bigalow was counted out in a falls count anywhere match.

Yes that's right...the falls could count anywhere...even a different universe, but somehow Bigalow was counted out.

Y'see, Bam Bam stopped to help a girl...and when the ref didn't see Bam Bam there, he must not be ANYWHERE, and he started counting....

I'm amused by this because, like I said, I read a lot of comics...and in the Marvel Universe, you have super powerful items like the infinity guantlet and the cosmic cube....basically they can do "anything." When I first read that, I imagined Tony Shrillvone screaming "BAM BAM ISN'T HERE!! OOOOOHHHHHH MY!!! HIS OPPONENT MUST HAVE TRIGGERED THE EFFECTS OF THE INFINITY GAUNTLET AND ERASED BAM BAM FROM EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!! BIGALOW HAS BEEN COUNTED OUT!!! FANS, THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What chapter was that in again?

It's in Part 3, The Fall, page 221. Bam Bam was wrestling Knobbs in a falls count anywhere match, but when Bam Bam stopped to help Kimberly, the ref decided he must have vanished into thin air and counted him out....thus he lost in a NO COUNT OUT FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE match, via wacky Russo writing.

BTW, this part: "I'm amused by this because, like I said, I read a lot of comics...and in the Marvel Universe, you have super powerful items like the infinity guantlet and the cosmic cube....basically they can do "anything." When I first read that, I imagined Tony Shrillvone screaming "BAM BAM ISN'T HERE!! OOOOOHHHHHH MY!!! HIS OPPONENT MUST HAVE TRIGGERED THE EFFECTS OF THE INFINITY GAUNTLET AND ERASED BAM BAM FROM EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!! BIGALOW HAS BEEN COUNTED OUT!!! FANS, THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wasn't part of the book, it was me trying to explaine why I liked that part... Heh, sorry!

[curtrok]

vanhagar3000 said:

goldenbane said:

Now I read a lot of comic books, so this line(s) was especially funny to me....This isn't exact quotes, but I'm trying to be as close as possible.

Bam Bam Bigalow was counted out in a falls count anywhere match.

Yes that's right...the falls could count anywhere...even a different universe, but somehow Bigalow was counted out.

Y'see, Bam Bam stopped to help a girl...and when the ref didn't see Bam Bam there, he must not be ANYWHERE, and he started counting....

I'm amused by this because, like I said, I read a lot of comics...and in the Marvel Universe, you have super powerful items like the infinity guantlet and the cosmic cube....basically they can do "anything." When I first read that, I imagined Tony Shrillvone screaming "BAM BAM ISN'T HERE!! OOOOOHHHHHH MY!!! HIS OPPONENT MUST HAVE TRIGGERED THE EFFECTS OF THE INFINITY GAUNTLET AND ERASED BAM BAM FROM EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!! BIGALOW HAS BEEN COUNTED OUT!!! FANS, THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What chapter was that in again?

I do believe that was in banking on a savior.

[curtrok]

rdreynolds said:

The stuff about Sid's winning streak (which Bryan wrote) had me laughing so hard that I had a headache for four days. I even went to the emergency room, because I thought I had a brain hemmorage!

RD

I read that part to my wife, she just looked at me before she collasped from how stupid that angle was. Then we both laughed for like an hour.

[andre28bc]

rdreynolds said:

The stuff about Sid's winning streak (which Bryan wrote) had me laughing so hard that I had a headache for four days. I even went to the emergency room, because I thought I had a brain hemmorage!

RD

You should put that on the back of the book. So Funny You'll Think Your Brain Is Bleeding!

[ACG2x]

Some of my faves (I'm at work and don't have the book with me, so apologies for not getting them 100% right)-

"In the Wasteful Spending department, WCW hired Master P's henchman Swoll for $400,000 per year"

"The punchline here is that the police station was just down the street from the arena. Yes, Goldberg was somehow not able to walk 30 feet in forty five minutes to make it back. Perhaps the crosswalk light was broken."

The entire Sid/Nash/Harris Brothers world title part. I read it to my fiancee who was in stiches. And she only follows wrestling about half as much as I do.

"This technically meant that Don Harris was the new WCW world champion. Or Nash was. Who knows."

"Eddie Gurrero was introduced as the mexican jumping bean, a line that surely didn't offend anyone."

And after noting Russo's quote in the New York Times about starting and ending every sentence with the word "logic" and RD just wrote "indeed". LMAO!

[Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone]

"Tony Schiavone had fans convinced that either A) he was trying to kill the company or B) was just incredibly stupid."

[Van Hagar]

acg2x said:

"The punchline here is that the police station was just down the street from the arena. Yes, Goldberg was somehow not able to walk 30 feet in forty five minutes to make it back. Perhaps the crosswalk light was broken."

Argh! I forgot about that one. That was another favorite as well.

[Black Swagger]

Man I need to dust this book off and find some of my favorite quotes.

[plushtar]

Not exactly a line, but a picture inserted into the book. All I could say is, Damn R.D.! I had no clue that Schiavonne was an elf.

[fallenangel]

"Eric Bichoff thought it would be great fun to be the story-line leader of the New World Order, which eventually grew to include such top names as Scott Norton, Ray Taylor, and Stevie Ray."

[Mikey]

Probably all the "oops". Like "WCW fired Steve Austin over the fax machine. He when to WWE and became one of the biggest stars ever. OOPS".