BorneAgain
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Post by BorneAgain on Jul 9, 2011 16:55:13 GMT -5
"The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" 1977 A cute and fun classic from an otherwise inconsistent period in Disney. The third part (Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too) is the weakest, but still a good story. For those raised on the New Adventures of Winnie, hearing the old voices is a bit of an adjustment (Rabbit especially sounds like an old woman to my ears) but Sterling Holloway, Paul Winchell, and John Fiedler to tremendous jobs in their respective roles. The watercolor animation style works perfectly for the storybook world of Winnie the Pooh, and animators get great facial expressions out of both the titular bear and Tigger. The episodic nature of the film works perfectly in pacing, as the film never feels like it drags. Even as a compilation film, bookend framing device is done wonderfully and the whole movie flows well as a result. The songs are very solid, with the most memorable easily being Heffalumps and Woozles given the bizarre imagery. The Sherman Brothers are effective in the soundtrack, though oddly enough the opening song is the biggest thing that dates this film. Overall possibly the best film of the Disney Dark Age (with only Great Mouse Detective providing competition).
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El Pollo Guerrera
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Jul 11, 2011 1:10:21 GMT -5
"IT'S ALIVE"The movie starts with Frank and Lenore Davis going to the hospital ( after taking their 11 year old son Chris to a friend) so that Lenore can delivery her baby. While Frank waits and looks through the window at the maternity ward, something goes terribly wrong in the delivery room... The child is a fanged mutant that kills the hospital staff and escapes. What follows is more a look at how Frank and Lenore try to deal with the fact that their child is a monster and less a monster/horror film. Frank goes into full-out denial, saying that the child isn't his and it should be hunted down and killed ASAP, so that he can get back to his job. Lenore moves from depression to an 'everything will be all right' attitude that comes across as a little creepy, to acceptance and motherly love of the child. The movie also looks at how the world is reacting to the story. Someone leaked the names of the parents to the news, and Frank is surrounded by reporters while at work (a public relations firm). There's also a snippet of a meeting between the Davis' doctor and a pharmaceutical salesman, who wants the police to destroy the child in case the company's drugs are the cause of the mutation. Davis himself meets with a professor who wants the rights to the body after the child is killed, for research purposes... much to the disappointment of Lenore. The police don't come off as very competent in this movie. There is one great scene where a fleet of squad cars and cops with shotguns rush into a yard and surround a crying baby. As for the horror, the movie is fairly clean. The 'birthing' itself happens off camera, with only the aftermath shown. Yes, there are also scenes where the child sneaks up and kills a few innocent bystanders, including a milkman ( look it up). These are relatively bloodless and to me, come across as a little silly. There are a few flashes of flesh-tearing near the end ( and one close-up of the Davis' ill-fated cat) but the movies goes more for suspense and it works really well. No sour notes in the acting department, although John Ryan (as Frank) does tend to over-react a bit in some scenes but he does very well for the most part. As for why... there are no answers. No explanation. And it appears to be only the beginning. The last line in the movie is a police detective taking a phone call and saying "There was another one born in Seattle." Great story, interesting exploration of the implications of the plot, well presented on a low budget. Not a masterpiece but it is well worth seeing. Recommended. EDIT: damnit, I forgot to mention it was written and directed by Larry Cohen, B-movie master of such films as "God Told Me To", "Q The Winged serpent", the TV series "The Invaders" and writer of modern movies "Cellular" and "Phone Booth".
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El Pollo Guerrera
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Jul 25, 2011 0:40:05 GMT -5
"IT LIVES AGAIN (aka It's Alive 2)"Expecting their first baby in a few days, the Scott's receive a startling visitor: Frank Davis, the father of the 'monster' baby from the original "It's Alive" movie. Frank tells them that tests show that the Scott's baby will be another one of the mutations, and he's there to help them save the baby before the authorities step in and kill it. The story does pick up in a logical way after the first movie: David is traveling across the country, helping the researchers find these mutations and 'secure' them before the police arrive... and the government is clamping down hard on this problem. When the Scott's arrive at the hospital, the building is already surrounded and police with shotguns fill the hallways. Which turns into the strangest 'heist' in a film I can recall, as Davis takes the mid-delivery Scott mother (while holding the police commander at gunpoint) out to a waiting truck with a portable delivery room. The child is delivered and taken to a hidden research facility, where it turns out that there are two others. Of course, there is an attack by the police and the babies get loose. Again, the Scott's (played by Frederic Forrest and Kathleen Lloyd) feel their marriage crumbling as he tries to reject the child and she tries to embrace it. The body of the movie is not as gory as you might expect a B-movie about monsters on the loose is. It feels and plays more like a 70's TV police drama. An apt sequel/continuation of the first movie and not just a rehash. Worth seeing.
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Post by crabnebula on Jul 25, 2011 3:47:27 GMT -5
"GALAXY OF TERROR"Story: sent to a distant planet by their leader "The Master" to find survivors of a crashed ship, the crew of Quest find a giant pyramid and then something starts killing off the crew... A cult classic, and deservedly so. THE James Cameron was second unit director and production designer for this. The story is pretty much a rip-off of "Alien", but they turn it into a more psychological thriller version of the same idea. That is, they TRY to... the whole wrap-up/reveal at the end of he movie feels rushed and not very well explained, in a "holy-crap-we-have-to-get-this-done-right-now" kind of way. While the monsters do have that 50's guy-in-a-rubber-suit look to them, the sets and the whole look of the movie is incredible. It is truly amazing what this crew did with the amount of money they had. The acting... well, the leads were average (Edward Albert Jr. and "Happy Days" Erin Moran in the only role I can remember that isn't Chachi-related), and the secondary characters are played by some great actors and may have interesting backgrounds but aren't on the screen long enough to get into. Sid Haig (Captain Spaulding in "The Devil's Rejects") is a mute warrior who uses only crystal throwing stars... never explained why. Robert Englund (pre-"A Nightmare on Elm Street" and pre-TV's "V") is a tech who hates himself... no reason. The team leader hates Albert's character, the pilot of the Quest survived a big disaster, the lady tech is afraid of sex, the mission leader, the cook, the rookie... they all have back stories but they are touched on so lightly that you question why they mentioned it in the first place. The documentary is very nice, with interviews of much of the cast and crew (sadly, Mr. Cameron did not participate, but iconic producer Roger Corman did), and it's great hearing the stories about how they filmed the "giant maggot" scene, how they made the sets (used MacDonald's styrofoam containers stolen from garbage bins to line the hallways of the spaceship), how the effects were done, etc. All in all, a movie that does deserve it's cult status. Bad, yes. Fun... yes. Also, it is worth seeing this to compare to "Aliens"... Recommended. Looking at the cover art, having not seen the film, it looks like Sam Raimi might have been influenced by this film. I don't know if the flying creature is in this or not, but it looks exactly like and spoilers coming up {Spoiler}the flying beast that Ash kills at the very end of Evil Dead 2
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2011 5:55:14 GMT -5
The Pledge ------------- www.imdb.com/title/tt0237572/Directed by Sean Penn and starring good ol Jack Nicholson, this movie is one of the most frustrating movies i've seen in a very long time. It started out with the potential to be awesome then just spiraled into a Deus Ex Machina ending that will leave you wanting 2 hours of your life back. Its just red herring after red herring with everyone being completely clueless as to what the hell is going on. Its available on Netflix instant queue if anyone wants to piss themselves off.
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El Pollo Guerrera
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Aug 1, 2011 2:48:03 GMT -5
"IT''S ALIVE 3: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE"This time, we follow the story of Steven Jarvis, single father of one of the mutants as he fights in court to save the life of his child and four others who have been captured. He manages to convince the judge that the children are just scared and the judge rules that the children are to be exiled on a remote island far from human contact. Jarvis tries to pick up the pieces of his life, seeing his ex-wife who ran and hid from the media, trying to score with a hooker (who screams at him once she finds out who he is), is force to agree with a book deal, and struggles to make a living... Then, 5 years later, the scientists approach him with an idea: Let's go to the island and see how the kids are doing! And that's where the wheels fall off of the car. The previous two movies were more about the implications of a strange event, and the beginning of this one was as well, but at about the 30 minute mark, it becomes a strange meld of 80's horror schlock and free-for-all, script-out-the-window insanity. There's five minutes on the boat of just banter, filler, crap that happens that doesn't even try to advance the plot... it's like they just kept the camera rolling and let them improvise! When they hit the island, the babies have grown to human adult size and start viciously killing the scientist and crew, up-ing the gore content and swinging the film into full 80's mode. It piles sub-plot upon sub-plot, involving hunting "big pharma' exec, street punks, the ex's problems avoiding the spotlight, and Communist Cuba (!), and none of it is given any time to become the story. It tries to put the 'story' wheels back on near the very end but it's too late to repair the damage. Michael Moriarty (TV's "Law & Order") is actually quite interesting in his role as Jarvis, because I can't decide if he's acting like his character is going crazy because he was told to or because the script was so bad he figured it would never make it to a screen anywhere. Special effects... stop motion for the babies in small form and some pretty bad looking rubber suits as 5-year 'adults'. The gore is gory and shown in close-up flashes to maximize shock value. Interesting premise, undone by insane script that tries to stuff too much into too short a time, with disasterous results. AVOID. ------------------------------------------------------------------- "HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN"Over-the-top action/gore film, an homage to the same type of film from the 70's. Rutger Hauer is an unnamed hobo who just wants to buy a lawnmower and try to build a better life. He tries to stop the son of a crimelord from hurting a prostitute and gets (very graphically) beat up by the son, his brother and the corrupte police. And then, with a little help from the hooker, the hobo starts to fight back... I guess "over-the-top" doesn't even BEGIN to describe this movie. Deaths aren't just 'falling down', they are explosions of blood and guts that spray everyone within 20 feet... you'd think they were anime characters. The amount of bloody gore in this movie rivals the current trend of 'torture porn' horror films, but it's presented in such a way that you almost laugh at the absurdity of it. Even when the movie isn't spraying the scren with the bodily fluids of some poor victim, the colours of the scenery are so bright that it felt like the movie was shouting at me. Hauer played his role to perfection, at times a world-weary warrior who knows what he must do (and the cost), then a mental patient who struggles to understand his surrondings, then a Punisher-esque action god with a loaded gun and a quick quip. My one complaint is that the villains were SO bad, SO nasty, SO evil that there is NO WAY that they could do what they have done and not attracted any kind of national government intervention. Insane film, insanely fun. Recommended.
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El Pollo Guerrera
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Aug 8, 2011 1:30:41 GMT -5
"PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING"Italian-produced sequel to the 1978 cult classic "Piranha", best known as the first directorial credit of James Cameron ("The Terminator", "Aliens", "Avatar", "Titanic"). A sunken military ship off the coast of... some resort island has the eggs of a secret military project to create a breed of flying piranha. Which hatch and cause havoc at the resort during a annual celebration. The hotel's marine expert/scuba teacher and her estranged husband, the police chief, try to save lives and stop the spawn, while trying to find their missing son. More of a "Jaws" rip-off with elements of the original "Piranha". Pretty standard plot, with no real shocking twists and turns. A few plot holes, though... mainly: {Spoiler}The wrecked military ship had 4 containers on it and the Navy only recovered 3. So why did they allow the resort to let scuba classes happen at the wreck when they knew they still had to recover one container of POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS MATERIAL? No real sour notes from any of the actors, which is a step above movies of this ilk. Lance Henriksen is his usual intense self as the cop, with TV actress Tricia O'Neil as the wife. Some very gory scenes. There's one thing the Italians know, it's gore. It is interesting to watch to see the bits and pieces of James Cameron's future, specifically near the end and the claustrophobic escape through the heating vents, which I'm sure he used in "Aliens". There's also one scene where a nurse is attacked by a fish that's a rip of the "Alien" chestbuster. So, all in all, a dumb (and unoriginal) story with a few plot holes but entertaining in the end.
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El Pollo Guerrera
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Aug 16, 2011 0:46:18 GMT -5
"THE BLACK HOLE (1979)"The crew of the exploration spaceship the USS Palomino find a black hole and a derelict ship, the USS Cygnus, frozen in space at it's edge. Investigating, they find the ship inhabited by an eccentric scientist and his crew of robots, who plan on taking the ship through the black hole to the other side. However, the Palomino crew also uncovers the truth behind the scientist and what happened to the original crew... Some saw this as Disney's attempt to cash in on the "Star Wars" fad... and maybe it was, but it still is a pretty good movie. The plot is interesting, with it's part adventure/part mystery elements. The special effects were very well done (for the time). The characters were all interesting, fully fleshed people. The robots were either cute or menacing. But the movie as a whole feels a little flat. The characters were good but the actors seemed to be either bored or tired. There are some great actors here... Maximilian Schell is the captain of the Cygnus, Anthony ("Psycho") Perkins is a scientist on the Palomino, Robert Forster is the captain, Yvette Mimieux, even Ernest Borgnine... but they all seem to be 'underplaying' their roles. Plus, there's some cutesy, 'Disney-esque' interplay between the robot VINCENT and BOB (voiced by Roddy McDowell and Slim Pickens), the scientists' menacing sidekick Maximilian, and the Cygnus' sentry robots. Which, if you think about it, brings up some deep questions about the robots in the movie... if they don't have feelings, why do they show signs of jealousy? However, once the final act hits, it becomes a damn good shoot'em up with explosions, a meteor shower (out of nowhere, making you wonder if they threw it in because things were starting to drag), betrayal, and a classic WFT ending.... {Spoiler}... where the ship goes through the black hole, and the scientist and Maximilian are fused together, either in Hell or on a flaming planet on the other side. Of historical note, this is the first Disney movie that received a PG rating and not a G, because of a few choice words here and there, along with the content of people dying. All in all, a good movie, flawed but enjoyable. Recommended.
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Aug 22, 2011 22:54:36 GMT -5
"THE TERROR WITHIN" In a post-apocalyptic future, a remote Army (?) research base in the Mohave desert is attacked by a mutant monster caused by the plague that killed 99% of the world's population... a monster that kills the men and rapes the women. And there's more of them outside the door... The story is nothing new... in fact, it's almost a note-for-note remake of "Alien", but as such, it really ain't that bad. Since you know the story, you can pick out who will die and who survives easily. The story does move along at a good clip, so there's no slow spots. There is a lot of gore as well, so fans of that will be pleased. On the down side, the monster looks like a guy in a rubber suit. It's a well-designed suit, mind you, in that the concept of the monster is interesting but it looks like the budget was on the gore and not enough was left to make the suit. Either that, or they weren't planning on showing the monster as much as they did. Another negative is the death of one of the characters... {Spoiler}... played by George Kennedy, the top name on the poster. When the monster is raping one of the two women on the base, George does a suicide run to save the woman and is killed... but it isn't shown. AT ALL! He just runs at the monster, the camera follows the 'rescue' and that's it.
It's almost like a tease that he's coming back later but it doesn't happen.
And yes, Andrew Stevens is more upset when his dog is hurt than when his girlfriend is killed. There's also a 'leap of logic' moment where they 'discover' the monster's weakness that truly comes out of NOWHERE. With the equipment on that base and the training that the doctor had, there is NO F'N WAY they could have just come up with that conclusion out of the blue that way. They COULD have reached that same conclusion a DIFFERENT way that was readily available to them in the script, but they tried to justify it by having the doctor find the answer. So, a bad movie but quick enough and gory enough to entertain someone in the mood for something quick and stupid. Entertaining in spite of it's flaws.
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Post by Joker on Aug 24, 2011 8:02:56 GMT -5
The Golden Voyage of SinbadGood old Sinbad, with this heroic sailor you can guarantee sword fights, adventure, magical monsters and an evil wizard. His Golden Voyage certainly doesn't let us down in all these departments. The basic plot is Sinbad finds a gold tablet and after a brief confrontation with Tom Baker's evil wizard he, his crew, a freed slave girl, a good for nothing boy and the Grand Viser set sail on a journey to find the remaining tablets which point the way to the Fountain of Destiny. But is it any good? First up we have to thank Ray Harryhausen for the monster effects and although they are not all quite as amazing as some of his other films they are still lots of fun, the Six Armed Sword Fighting Kali Statue being the highlight. The acting is a little cheesy in places but it adds to its charm as Tom Baker (Pre-Doctor Who Fame) mumbles and chants incomprehensible giberish to summon little imps or bury the crew under rocks. The crew are fairly generic but reasonable the comic relief coming form the young lad with oddly big hair tricked by his father to become apart of the crew. The Grand Viser is suitably mysterious yet regal with his Golden Mask, While the slave girl played by Caroline Munro is very hot and a good love interest for Sinbad, or maybe I was sidetracked by her very low cut top ;D Tom Baker as Koura the villain adds lots to the film his scenes always fun as he continuously tricks or hinders the heroes. As for Sinbad played by John Phillip Law I found him alright but in comparison with other Sinbad films he doesn't quite cut it for me. Overall a fun film with plenty of monsters, action and magic. Not amazing, but certainly watchable.
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Libertine
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Post by Libertine on Aug 24, 2011 8:07:34 GMT -5
My browser (Chrome) just told me that the first page of this thread may contain malware. Anyone else had that message?
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Aug 29, 2011 22:55:36 GMT -5
"DEAD SPACE"Another "Alien" rip-off, this time a trouble-shooter is sent to a remote science base to stop an experiment that has gone wrong and escaped. While the hero has sex with the hot female doctor, the mutating monster sneaks around the base killing the others, until the secret of the monster is revealed... it's part human DNA. Wait a minute, did I review this movie before? Actually, yes... sort of. It's billed on the box as a "loose remake of Forbidden Worlds", another Corman production that is famous (or infamous) for being a hilariously bad "Alien" rip-off. What they did this time was remove the plot twist. And the nudity. And the fun. After an unrelated starship battle (from "Battle Beyond the Stars"... again), the hero responds to a distress call and crash lands on the planet, where the staff of the lab fills him in on the problem, a few people get killed, they sleep, a few MORE people die and the monster battle happens. A 'paint by numbers' story. Some of the story doesn't make sense, either... {Spoiler}There's a scene where they have to get out of the lab to chase the monster (and it turns out that the planet looks like every other desert badlands planet that Corman has ever been involved in), and they make a point that the suit Singer is wearing will protect him from the poisonous atmosphere. So he goes outside WITHOUT ZIPPING THE SUIT UP! Really? Anyways, Marc Singer (the original "V" series) plays the hero, complete with sarcastic robot pal, and they are the only two characters that have any chemistry with each other in this movie. Even his sex scene with the hot (well, hot-ish) doctor babe is bland, even if it was a dream sequence. All the other characters are just there, existing only to be offed in gory ways. Even the 'heroic death' of one of the doctors (Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad") comes off as boring. As for the gore, it's there but only in flashes. As for the main monster, it's the same problem as with "The Terror Within". It's a great design, but the execution is poor. When it's on-screen, it moves like it's a giant marionette, which makes it look like Eddie from an Iron Maiden concert video from the early 80's. The movie tends to rely on the 'reaction shot', people screaming and shooting as the off-screen monster runs around the room and jumps through an air vent or plows through a wall. The end hand-to-hand battle with the monster is especially funny in this way. One more thing: there's a commentary track, but it's not accessible when the movie is playing. You have to select it in the Special Features and watch the movie through again to hear the director's commentary. Bad idea. Where "Forbidden Worlds" was entertainingly bad, "Dead Space" manages to be just plain straight-out bad. ------------------------------------------------------ On a side note, when the DVD starts up, the first menu is the outside of the 'theater'. You select the ticket and are taken into the 'lobby' where you choose the 'snack bar' (chapter select), the 'office' (special features, trailers) and the 'theater', where you can either start the one of the movies or choose "The Grindhouse Experience". Choosing that starts the show with the classic "Coming Soon" previews, then "The Terror Within", then a classic intermission video, more (and different) trailers and then "Dead Space". Nice touch!
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
His name has chicken in it, and he is good at makin' .gifs, so that's cool.
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Sept 5, 2011 22:22:24 GMT -5
"THE TROLL HUNTER" A group of college students start working on a documentary about a mysterious poacher and uncover a bigger secret: the trolls of myth and legend are real, and something is getting them riled up. And Hans, the mysterious "poacher", is a government employee whose job it is to keep the trolls under control. Wonderful film, done in the popular "mockumentary" style. As such, you're in for a bit of a dry start as the filmmakers try to uncover what the heck is happening, but when the first troll is revealed, the movie picks up. There are still a few slow spots after that, but they add more background colour than dead space and are more than made up for in the special effects. Otto Jespersen played Hans the hunter, and his performance is the greatest here. He manages to show how sick and tired of his job (and the bureaucracy) he is, and yet shows a kind of begrudging respect for the trolls, without giving in to the ridiculousness of the situation. These are trolls, this is his job, all done in a matter-of-fact fashion. The trolls themselves are incredible. Bellowing, snarling, drooling monsters that knock down trees and eat sheep, all in living colour. The trolls are so well designed and executed that I almost expected to see Jim Henson credited at the end of the film. As for flaws, I'm gonna say none. I know a few people don't like "Blair Witch"-esque mockumentary with the expected 'shaky-cam", but I've never had a problem... in fact, I've felt that it helps me in 'suspending my disbelief', as it were. There's also the ending, where... {Spoiler}... the camera crew is captured by the government... ... but I was expecting something along those lines anyways, given that at the very beginning of the film, you're told about the 'lost footage' setup. Great film, worthy of any sci-fi fan's movie library. Kind of like "Cloverfield" but with fewer unanswered questions. Highly recommended.
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Sept 12, 2011 23:44:04 GMT -5
"BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS"One of Roger Corman's most famous productions, this movie is a blatant attempt to cash in on the success of "Star Wars" by mixing outer space with the classic plot of "The Seven Samurai". On a budget. And it's a hell of a lot of fun. Richard Thomas (John Boy of "The Waltons") stars as Shad, the young volunteer sent to find warriors to save his planet Akir from the invading tyrant Sador (John Saxon of "Enter the Dragon"). He finds a love interest, an aging trucker transporter with a load of weapons with no buyer (George Peppard of "The A-Team"), an assassin looking for a safe place to hide (Robert Vaughn, playing the same role he did in "The Magnificent Seven")[/color], a Valkyrie warrior looking to prove herself (B-movie starlet Sybil Danning), a lizard-like being with a grudge against Sador and his crew (including a pair of aliens who communicate with body heat?), and Nestor, an alien race that's a cross between Star Trek: TNG's Commander Data and the Borg. The story does follow the basic points of "The Seven Samurai" in a compressed time line... Sador attacks, Shad goes to find help, help arrives, battle ensues. What makes the story go more smoothly is the actors, who for the most part seem to be having a good time making this movie. Thomas looks like he's having a blast, Peppard plays Cowboy like a veteran giving his tired best, and Vaughn nails it as the cold killer. Danning is especially fun as the life-loving warrior princess in a costume that looks two sizes too small (and according to the 'behind-the-scenes' featurette, it was). The special effects were incredibly well done, considering the apparent limited budget they had. No one who didn't love what they were doing would have done half as good a job. This movie was the first big chance for the one and only James Cameron (do I have to list his credits?). It's also a big break for award winning screenwriter/director John Sayles ("Lone Star") and award winning composer James Horner ("Titanic", "Aliens"). A must-have for any sci-fi fan's movie collection. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "WINNERS AND SINNERS"A Hong Kong-made comedy with some great martial arts action scenes, starring Sammo Hung, with a smaller side story with Jackie Chan. Sammo (as "Teapot") and four others (nicknamed "Rookie", Exhaust Pipe", "Curly" and "Vaseline") meet and become friends after they are all arrested and jailed on the same day (the opening of the movie shows their crimes... funny stuff). When they are released, they stay together to straighten out and live right. Along with Curly's sister (whom the others try to get too close to...), they start a cleaning service. When coincidence lands a set of counterfeit money plates in their hands, they have to clear their name and save Curly's sister. There's also a side story of Jackie as a bungling cop, doing his best to catch bad guys but being punished for his 'over-eager' actions (including a two dozen car pile-up that's a howl). There are a few damn good fights in this. The best ones feature the non-fighters in hand-to-hand combat and they are a gas! The comedy varies, from some pretty broad slapstick to cultural Chinese humour that I frankly didn't quite get... but the parts I did get are hilarious. There is a must-see scene in this, involving Richard "Exhaust Pipe" Ng and a magic spell of invisibility... This was on video, poorly dubbed in English with terrible voice actors, but the movie was still a lot of fun.
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Sept 19, 2011 23:23:36 GMT -5
"NOT OF THIS EARTH (1988)"Traci Lord's first legal, non-X movie. A stranger hires nurse Nadine (Lords) to help with his blood transfusions, until she finds out the truth: he's an alien and is getting the blood from dead hookers. A remake of a 1957 film directed by Roger Corman, this movie was the result of a bet between Corman and director Jim Wynorski: if Wynorski could put together the remake in less time than Corman did, he'd win a car. Corman's movie was done in 12 days, Wynorski finished the remake in 10 and a half. Yes, it is a bad movie. Yes, not all of the actors are what people would call 'good'. But there is a goofy, retro charm here and that makes the movie fun to watch. Traci actually showed a few flashes of talent in her first starring role, talent that would develop as she kept working. And, y'know what, good for her. She took her infamy and made it into something better. Oh, and yes, she is nekked. This is the (apparently) last movie she appeared nude. The other actors are a bit of a mish-mash. Arthur Roberts is creepy and stoney-faced as the alien (good job), Lenny Juliano is fun as the alien's chauffeur, but the hero is played by low-charisma stick of an actor Roger Lodge (who would go on to be a sportscaster AND the host of the reality date show "Blind Date"). Everyone else hams it up for camp (including future sex therapist Ava Cadell as a soon-to-be-dead hooker). I watched the movie with one of the commentary tracks on (I had seen it long ago and didn't need to be reminded of the story), the new track with Lords and Wynorski sharing memories of the shoot, and it was kinda neat hearing the stories. Apparently Lodge scratched Wynorski's car during the shoot and the director has never forgiven him for it. Also, whenever Lords shows up on screen in something revealing (or nothing, even more revealing), Wynorski loses his train of thought and has to comment on her loveliness. So, bad but fun. Oh, and there's this... {Spoiler} ------------------------------------------------------------------- "DA XIAO JIANG HU (JUST CALL ME NOBODY)" A young cobbler with no kung-fu skill (but a strangely flexible body) follows a lovely young woman across the country, where she is fighting in a competition, which is rigged by her former fiance to catch her, and the cobbler learns about The Force and martial arts along the way. A martial arts comedy that relies more on slapstick than on punch-ups. Ther is a TON of comedy and it gets pretty stupid at times. the heroic lead knows NOTHING of fighting and has to stop at times to read a comic book to learn stances and attacks... then some sympathetic masters give him more books to read and he leaves them because there's no pictures... and they 'infuse his body with their ki' so that he might have a chance... but mostly he gets through the movie on pure dumb luck. Jebus, this movie brained my damage. There are some nice special effects, some nice bits that happen to characters during fight scenes, some laugh-out-loud pieces, but all in all it's just a giant mish-mash of insanity. But for me, the worst part was this: The subtitles were clearly written by someone who does not know English. At all. I watched this with friends, and when it started one of them said that we'd watch this with the 'Engrish' subtitles on... and boy, was he right. (Either that, or they took the script and ran it through "Bad Translator".) May have been funny in the vein of "Kung-Fu Hustle" or "Shaolin Soccer", but too wild, too crazy and too hard to understand.
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
His name has chicken in it, and he is good at makin' .gifs, so that's cool.
Status: Runner
Posts: 14,894
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Sept 26, 2011 22:09:30 GMT -5
"KRULL"Story: The planet Krull is invaded by "The Beast" and his army of Slayers. Two warring kingdoms agree to combine with the marriage of Prince Colwyn and Princess Lyssa, hoping that their combined armies can stop "The Beast". Slayers attack the wedding, decimate the army and kidnap Lyssa, leaving Colwyn to gather a rag-tag crew of adventurers to save her and the world, using the magical weapon called the Glaive. Early 80's sci-fi/fantasy adventure that feels like it's trying to cash in on the trend of D&D and "Conan", and falls short. It's GOOD, but it's not as epic as it wants to be. The good: 1) the sets and design are incredible. 2) Some of the costumes (like the Slayers) are fantastic. 3) Nice music. 4) A few of the supporting cast look like they're having fun, and because of that their characters are more interesting to watch. Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane show up as brigands who help the hero. The bad: 1) bland lead actors. It's bad when you want to know more about the guy standing in the background than the hero... 2) the story moves a little too quickly, not explaining little details that might be helpful to the viewer. (For instance, WHY is the hero able to reach into a pool of lava to retrieve the Glaive without getting burned?) 3) poorly staged fight scenes. The movie looked great but is an empty shell. Tough to recommend unless you're a fantasy freak. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "KIDS FROM SHAOLIN"Story: On one side of the river is a poor family of orphaned boys who are learning Shaolin kung-fu from their adopted father and his brother. On the other side of the river is a rich family of only daughters who learn Wudang swordfighting from their parents. A gang of bandits try to split the families up so that they can get revenge on the Wudang, but the Shaolin boys love the Wudang girls and try to help them. A comedy, a musical, a love story and a bit of martial arts all in one. The movie starts with several cute scenes where the kids of the two family engage in their Shaolin vs. Wudang rivalry (including a great scene with the younger kids fight in animal styles), then gets more serious as the eldest boy starts falling for one of the daughters... and of course, the Shaolin father loves another daughter AND the Shaolin uncle loves ANOTHER daughter. There's a huge fight scene at the end, with the smaller kids getting involved (with humourous effect). Notable for being the second staring role for a young Jet Li. Entertaining, but a bit of a tough slog if you wanted just an action film.
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Post by Joe Galt on Sept 27, 2011 7:20:04 GMT -5
I remember enjoying the heck out of Krull when I was a kid. Nice to see a modern review of it.
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
His name has chicken in it, and he is good at makin' .gifs, so that's cool.
Status: Runner
Posts: 14,894
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Oct 3, 2011 22:43:57 GMT -5
"EAT MY DUST!"Ron Howard stars as Hoover Neibold, rebellious son of the Sheriff, who steals the winning stock car from the races just to impress the lovely Darlene... . Darlene likes to go fast. Chaos ensues. Fun movie. Not what you would call a 'thinking man's movie', just one big car chase mixed with scenes of the Sheriff trying to deal with the chaos that Hoover and his deputies are causing (and from the looks of it, a lot of the damaged that happened was really caused by the deputies). Heavy on the slapstick and visual gags, including a few scenes that could have fallen out of a Marx Brother movie or a Bugs Bunny cartoon. And yes, Hoover 'finds his thrill on Blueberry Hill', if you know what I mean. And that leads to an ending that actually made me mad... not because it was a 'stupid movie ending', but because... {Spoiler}Darlene just up and leaves, leading Hoover to the truth that she really didn't like him, she just wanted the thrill of the ride, or as Hoover put it: "It was never me... it was the car!" Lots of funny secondary characters, especially Dave Madden (best known as the manager of the Partridge Family from the TV series) as Big Bubba Jones, owner of the stolen car, and his band of drunken racing friends who help out the police when the squad cars prove to be too weak to catch the racing car. This DVD also has a short interview with Ron Howard (he talks more about "Grand Theft Auto"), a slight bit of a behind-the-scenes doc (interviews with actress Christopher Norris, a film editor and the director of photography), a three minute interview with Corman, and a 13 minute doc about the guy who painted the movie poster, John Solie... strange collection of special features, but there looks like there's more meatier stuff on the second disc in the set, which I'll get to next week. Dumb fun. Recommended. ----------------------------------------------------- "ARMOR OF GOD"Jackie Chan is Asian Hawk, adventurer, who is recruited by an old friend Alan (played by Cantopop singer Alan Tam) to help rescue his love (and Jackie's former object of affection) Laura from an evil cult that wants Jackie to bring them a set of valuable artifacts called the Armor of God, three pieces of which are owned by Count Bannon. Bannon agrees to help if his daughter May (played by former Miss Spain Lola Former) comes along to help. One of Jackie's biggest hit movies in the 80's, with a great mix of comedy (both slapstick and the more subtle Chinese-style comedy) and jaw-dropping action, including a fantastic fight with four 'amazon' women at the end of the movie. Yes, this is the movie that has the stunt that almost killed Jackie Chan, and it is shown during the final credits. My only, ONLY complaint is the very end of the movie, which is RIDICULOUSLY impossible, even for a Jackie Chan movie. Highly recommended.
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agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,868
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Post by agent817 on Oct 3, 2011 23:31:47 GMT -5
I'll do three, one I watched in the theater, another on Netflix, and the other on DVD. Each in order. Plot: A young woman, after witnessing her parents' murder as a child in Bogota, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin. Verdict: Not bad, but it felt too familiar. Review: The movie itself was not bad, but it kind of felt like Salt Revisited. Small girl who is a spy/assassin knowing how to take on guys much bigger than her. Also, a very well trained assassin who is the target of the government and but forces them to help her bring down her primary target. Overall, I liked it, but I still felt like I was watching Salt again. Plot: A high school girl is in love with her football player boyfriend and is willing to have sex with her, until she finds out that there is a "bang book" that the football team is involved in that regards the players taking the virginities of girls. Her and her friends, as well as other girls to rebel against the football team because of that book. Verdict: Eh. Review: Okay, I'll admit, I watched it because I have somewhat of a crush of Tania Raymonde and sort of had a crush on her even in her appearances on "Malcolm in the Middle" when she played the nerdy-yet-so-cute Cynthia. However, this is just typical teen fare that has been done to death. Rob Schneider, I can see that he has fallen unless he does a movie with Adam Sandler, but without him, he does straight-to-DVD films. I laughed in some areas, but not a lot. Plot: Wayne Szalinski invents a machine that grows things. He accidently grows his 2-year old son and does everything to get him back to normal size. Verdict: Still decent, but has not held up well for me, but I still like it. Review: For the past few months, I had been on somewhat of a "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" kick and that mostly has to do with the TV show, but not without the movies as well. I love the first movie. I watched the third movie and I didn't think that one was that great, though I kind of enjoyed it. However, with the second one, it was still enjoyable, though I can see how outdated it is.
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
His name has chicken in it, and he is good at makin' .gifs, so that's cool.
Status: Runner
Posts: 14,894
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Oct 10, 2011 21:43:56 GMT -5
"GRAND THEFT AUTO"Ron Howard's first movie as director. Ron stars as Sam, who wants to marry Paula (Nancy Morgan). When her father, a rich man with political aspirations, doesn't approve, Paula steals her father's Rolls-Royce and the couple hits the road to Las Vegas... followed by: - her father, mother and a team of private detectives (lead by Rance Howard, Ron's father), using a black van, a helicopter, several black sedans and a stolen Jeep - her flakey former fiance, in a sports car, a car swiped from an auto dealer, a Chev truck, and a stolen ice cream truck - the flake's mother (Marion Ross, "Happy Days") in a swiped Volkswagen - a travelling preacher in a stolen police car (who then rides in the ice cream truck) - a police officer (driver of the stolen cop car) in a bus full of seniors - a pair of grease monkeys (one played by Ron's brother Clint) in a hot rod and a stolen mini-truck with a "Just Married" camper on the back - a gas station owner and his friends in a truck full of dynamite - a group of mob enforcers (with Leo Rossi as a sniper) - a carload of stereotyped Mexicans in a low-rider - a radio DJ in a helicopter (played by radio DJ "The Real" Don Steele), broadcasting the whole chase live This whole mess ends at a demolition derby. Not as slapstick as "Eat My Dust" was but funny in a "what else can go wrong" way. There is a great serious moment between Sam and Paula (is she doing this just to piss off her father?) but the rest is all of the wacky characters trying to corner the young lovers in. And LOTS of car crashes. Included on the disc are a short interview with Rance and Clint Howard, a snippet of an interview with Howard and producer Roger Corman, and the trailers. There's also two audio commentary tracks, one with Howard and Corman, the other with Rance, 2nd Unit Director Allan Arkush, Editor Joe Dante ("Gremlins") and Key Grip Ben Haller. A fun movie, in a 'turn off your brain' way. Recommended. ------------------------------------------------ "AIRHEADS" In an effort to kick-start their career, the metal band The Lone Rangers break into a popular radio station to try and get them to play their demo. When the program director tries to kick them out, they resist and take the station hostage... with toy guns filled with hot sauce, but the people don't know that, and neither do the cops surrounding the station... First off, OUTSTANDING cast. - Brendan Fraser is Chas, singer/guitarist/leader of The Lone Rangers (with a dark secret) - Steve Buscemi is Rex, the bass player with a short temper and a filthy mouth - Adam Sandler is Pip, Rex's half-wit brother and the drummer - Joe Mantegna is Ian the Shark, the DJ who's not too impressed with the youth of the day and their music - Michael McKean is Milo, the douchebag station manager - Judd Nelson as Jimmy Wing, the douchebag music executive (pardon the redundancy) - Amy Locane as Kayla, Chas' girlfriend with a temper - Nina Siemaszko as the station's assistant/hot blonde chick - future WCW Heavyweight Champion David Arquette as a hostage - Ernie Hudson as the cop in charge of the situation - Chris Farley as a police officer sent to find Kayla ... and a ton of other familiar faces who show up and/or are heard (Mike Judge's Beavis and Butthead call in to the radio station to insult the band). I have to say that the only one I didn't like in the movie was Michael Richards, the station's accountant who was trapped in the air vents. It felt like he was just there to break up the story with fits of physical comedy (although he does provide a pivotal plot point). A funny story about a situation that has gone out of control. This show doesn't try to add too much in the way of off-the-wall physical humour to get laughs (well, except for Richards). There is a natural humour in the ridiculousness of the story and they didn't try to heap extra zannyness into the show to play up the laughs, and I like it because of that. The funniest bit does have to go to Farley, in a scene that made everyone both laugh out loud and cringe in pain. AND, some damn fine music too. A great comedy, even if you're not a fan of their "power-slop" music, you can get behind the passion of the band and their dream. Recommended.
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