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Post by The Tank on Nov 13, 2011 19:20:01 GMT -5
This does make me a little sad, though. I did countless promos with Morrison, some good, some bad, and my only success was teaming with AA. Magnus, Mickie, and now Mercer, have won titles with less than five promos. Two of those three involved me. There's gotta be a correlation there somewhere.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 13, 2011 19:20:59 GMT -5
The Guns with stereo superkicks to Shatter. I want to see Tank try and sabotage Claudio Castagnoli's career. Easy. Next week, Claudio gets a match with Sin Cara. That's pretty much how I can sabotage anyone's career. You're a heel, you fight Sin Cara. You're a face, you fight Darren Young. It doesn't matter what you do, because Spartan will do more. And it will beat you. Hey, I wrote for Leonardo Spanky. I wrote long ass promos before Spartan came along. Trust me, Claudio can handle his own. And he likes to break flippy guys for fun.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2011 19:21:01 GMT -5
This does make me a little sad, though. I did countless promos with Morrison, some good, some bad, and my only success was teaming with AA. Magnus, Mickie, and now Mercer, have won titles with less than five promos. Two of those three involved me. There's gotta be a correlation there somewhere. At least this time you were on the positive side of it.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Nov 13, 2011 19:24:04 GMT -5
Bear with me here, I had to restart my computer. Tank, two things. 1, Because obviously you and M are the only bookers with guys in this match. And 2, I never said he was. You misinterperated Tenay's meaning. It was a joke, dude. Hence "snarky correction" instead of just a correction. And...actually, you'd bury somebody just as fast as M and I would. Well lets put it this way. I hope Jono doesn't actually think he's winning the world title tonight.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2011 19:25:12 GMT -5
It was a joke, dude. Hence "snarky correction" instead of just a correction. And...actually, you'd bury somebody just as fast as M and I would. Well lets put it this way. I hope Jono doesn't actually think he's winning the world title tonight. Well, it would really kill the Revelation dead if he did...
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Nov 13, 2011 19:26:34 GMT -5
The rare occasions I write epic promos usually don't pay off, aside from Edge\Hart.
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,522
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Nov 13, 2011 19:30:53 GMT -5
Well lets put it this way. I hope Jono doesn't actually think he's winning the world title tonight. Well, it would really kill the Revelation dead if he did... And it wouldn't kill me if I lost? How long has Anderson been trying to set up a title match with Joe? Months.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Nov 13, 2011 19:33:12 GMT -5
Sorry for the delay.
Mercer hits a lariat on Chris Sabin. Alex Shelley then hits a superkick on Mercer!
1…
2…
Shatter breaks it up. Shatter and Mercer then hits a double boot on Alex Shelley. RVD then hits Shatter with a diving kick. Mercer charges RVD but slams him down. He then follows up with a Rolling Thunder. Jeff Hardy goes up top and hist the Swanton!
1…
2…
Daniels breaks it up. RVD goes for a spinning kick on Daniels but Daniels ducks and hits the Last Rites! AJ then hits the Styles Clash on Hardy!
1…
2…
Shatter breaks it up. Shatter goes for the powerbomb on AJ but AJ counters it into a hurricanrana. The Guns then hit double dropkicks to AJ. RVD comes in and also gets double dropkicked. Daniels the hits a double clothesline on the Guns. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings on Shelley but Shatter grabs referee Jackson James to distract him. While this is going on Mercer nails Daniels and tosses him outside. Mercer then hits the Mercy Kill on AJ.
1...
2...
3!
JB: Here are your winners and NEW TNA World Tag Team Champions, Tommy Mercer and Phil Shatter!
West: We got new champions. Tenay: Yeah, thanks to Shatter distracting the ref. West: You have to find the flaw in everything, don’t you. Tenay: Well like it or not Shatter and Mercer did what they said they were going to do and they leave with the gold.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2011 19:33:57 GMT -5
Well, it would really kill the Revelation dead if he did... And it wouldn't kill me if I lost? How long has Anderson been trying to set up a title match with Joe? Months. The Revelation has been around for a month and wouldn't even have existed had Sting lost to Joe. Plus, I'm hoping to expand the group's numbers after tonight.
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Post by The Tank on Nov 13, 2011 19:34:00 GMT -5
Well, it would really kill the Revelation dead if he did... And it wouldn't kill me if I lost? How long has Anderson been trying to set up a title match with Joe? Months. Well, sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. I certainly didn't plan for Joe to drop the title. But you don't see me complaining that it happened. ...once the rage from it happening passed. Which I think most everyone around here will agree went surprisingly quick as far as I'm concerned.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2011 19:36:47 GMT -5
Fun fact: Shatter and Mercer is the first official collaboration between Tank and myself. Stables don't count, nor does our one Beautiful People promo.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Nov 13, 2011 19:37:04 GMT -5
Christy Hemme here with Eric Bischoff and his client, who will be competing for the X-Division Championship tonight, Jesse Sorensen. Whats going through your mind right now Sorensen?
Any nerves about your first one on one shot at the title?
Ha, definitely. My heart is practically beating out of my chest.
Eric Bischoff facepalms.
You just failed the basic softball question, Jesse. You're never supposed to admit that you're nervous.
But its true, Eric. This is my first big shot, and its only natural to feel a mix of emotions between excitedness, nervousness, and anxiousness.
I think it'd be better to come clean, rather than hide behind a tough guy bravado and say I'm not nervous. It just wouldn't be true.
Besides there is nothing wrong with being nervous. Some of the legends in our business have said on record that they were nervous every time they stepped out in front of the crowd. Why? Because their steadfast desire to please the masses.
I'm amped up for the same opportunity. And I think its better that I admit that.
But even more than just for the fan's approval, tonight is for me. Tonight I get my chance for the gold, when I get to face Brian Kendrick.
And just like I'm nervous, he has to be shaking in his boots.
Not just because me and him can, and will, put on the match of the ppv, week, month, and maybe even year.
But because he realizes the reality of the situation.
That he could very well be walking out tonight without that X-Division Championship that he worked so hard for. Because we're both going to be flying around that ring at speeds unimaginable, and one slip up, one mistake, one missed move, and BAM!
The match. His reign as champ. It all comes crashing down.
I'd like to move on to what Kendrick said on the last Impact. There were some good things and there were some bad.
We'll start off with the good.
Last week he compared me to a younger, "cleaner" version of him. He knows that I'm hungry and that hunger won't subside until I claim the strap he wears around his waist.
I'm sure you meant it as a compliment, but I just want to clarify something for the world and especially you, Kendrick. I am not the NEW Brian Kendrick. Nor the NEW RVD. And not the NEW Jay Lethal. I'm the ONLY Jesse Sorensen. I bring my own unique flavor to that ring, never seen before, and it'll never be seen again. My style, my attitude, it separates me apart from everyone else! And tonight I'll make the next step to seperate myself, a step up onto the pedestal as X-Division Champion.
After that comparison, Kendrick continued talking and he said the phrase that I seem to hear week in and week out, and quite frankly, it makes me sick.
He said that I'd earn the title. . . after I've paid my dues.
Well its about time I clarify to the world that I don't do that. Wrestling runs on the old outdated system of not getting anything, matches, mic time, title shots, until you're "experienced". Until someone up above says "You are ready". Thats the system that all the current wrestlers have dealt with, and its the same one they expect me to follow.
Quite frankly, that is a load of horseshit.
In my first match I proved I could hang with the top dogs. Then management made the mistake of putting me into the number one contenders match for the X-Division Championship. They saw me as just a young kid, an extra body, no real shot of winning. But I shocked the world when I beat Aries and Cesaro, and now everyone is going to have to put up with the repercussions.
Because I am the future of this company, and I want to introduce you all to the future I'm setting up.
Where there is no paying dues, and the best talents receive the shot they damn well deserve. Whether they are 21 or 45.
Because when I become champ, things are going to change. When I win the title tonight, it'll be the first strike for the new generation.
I'm gonna bring a big change and its starts tonight. Kendrick, you've had a great run with the belt, but all great things must come to the end, and your reign ends tonight at my hands!
Wow, some strong words from the Can't Miss Kid, back to you Tenay and...
Wait, before you send it back to them, would you mind giving me a tiny bit of extra time. I'd like to say a few words specifically to Kendrick.
Oh, um, sure. Go ahead.
Thanks.
Kendrick,
You've had a great run with the X-Division Championship and I'm sure you don't want it to end.
Nobody ever does.
But tonight the better man will win, and I'm going to do everything in my power to guarantee that man is me.
In your promo on Impact you called us a dream team, and I whole heartedly agree. But great partners make greater enemies. So tonight we're going to beat the hell out of each other, not just out of respect for that belt, or the crowd's approval but because thats how the other person would want it. If I win, I know you gave it everything you had, and if I lose, I promise you I left it all in the ring.
So tonight we duel. And we'll both put everything we have into this match. And for one of us: Victory, Celebration. The other, defeat, heart break.
No matter what happens tonight you and I will be good, but the moment that bell rings signaling the start of the match, you become my enemy.
My rival.
And I will stop at nothing to beat you.
Tonight, I get my hand raised in victory. Tonight, the Jet rises above.
The Can't Miss Kid becomes the Can't Miss Champ, and nothing, and I mean nothing can stand in my way.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 13, 2011 19:39:33 GMT -5
Low-Ki losing the title after a month to The Miz? When Gus and I agreed Low-Ki winning would make sense and he said he didn't want the title?
I think that meltdown only lasted two-three days. Maybe four.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Nov 13, 2011 19:39:46 GMT -5
Tenay: Well the X Division title is on the line next and…
Tenay: Wait, what is this?
The crowd goes completely silent, confused at the perhaps accidental playing of a different entrance music. The confusion grows, as Robbie E walks out, with casual clothing on, and hair so spiked up, the old Slim Jim guy's hair would look bent. His dark shades cover his eyes, but they don't cover the huge smile on his face. Becky Bayless quickly follows, looking beautiful as always.
The duo known as The Shore start interacting with the fans, Robbie E showing the fans at home that he hasn't lost his mojo, flirting with various female members in attendance. Becky does get a few wolf whistles from some desperate men, but she doesn't look interested in any of them. She does smile at a lucky few, which would no doubt make them faint if they didn't want to find out if Robbie E has anything to say.
It turns out he does, as he stops at ringside to grab a microphone. To Robbie's shock and surprise, the fans boo the gesture.
(Completely ignoring boos) Oh thank you, thank you! You broskis are just too kind! Thank you! Thank- We only have the building till ten bros. I know it's hard considering who I am and how amazing I am, but please sit down. Trust me, this isn't the only time you'll be able to give me a standing ovation.
The fans boos only grow louder, which only makes his grin grow.
So anyway, it's been such a long time since I addressed you people. And to be honest, I'm surprised. It's been a while since I've hit the airwaves. WAY too long, so I hear. It's been so long since I gave all the dudes and dudettes a dose of Vitamin Rob-E, that I hear thousands have suffered from an illness called TNA. So deadly, so horrid, so awful to watch, that vomiting and physical harm may occur. But must you not worry anymore. I am back with the antidote.
Don't worry fangirls, you can now continue writing your fanfiction. Don't worry smoking hot chicks with the killer bod, your depression ends today. And don't worry married women. You do not have to deal with your husbands any longer. For THE man who unites those three groups into a giant triforce of fantasies is back. And he's here to stay.... but you might be asking yourselves right now, WHERE IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN BRO? You almost caused the freaking apocalypse of the wrestling world! And to that I understand, and I apologize. Allow me to explain.
You people know how incredible and awesome my life is, right? (Nods) Of course you do! Everybody wants to do what I do on a daily basis! And you know how they always say, time flies when your having fun? Well, let's just say that I had a little too much fun. Between watching epic animes (The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya FTW), skiing slopes while everyone's complaining about a little storm, and consuming enough alcohol to make Scott Hall jealous, I guess I just forgot that I had a job to do! Let's not forget the endless parties from South Beach to the LI, the fistpumping contests (Hit me up if you want one, though I don't recommend it), visiting my old college and having to nearly fight off the cute perky schoolgirls of the upcoming generation, and of course, renting hotel rooms to cry about the fact that winter means more clothing on the beach blonds....... What? You would too if you actually had the testicular fortitude to actually approach a girl!
Really, we could go on and on about how great my life is, but then the cable company would have to pull the plug on the PPV, ala 1998. Sad thing is, this would probably get a higher rating then anything else this show has lined up for you tonight! So let me just get to the point:
So eventually, one thing led to another. I was just chilling in the crib, playing some X-Box, some Nintendo, maybe a little Sega, shattering all my high scores, when I get a call. I whip out my cell, I say Sup? Robert, there's a problem. What's going on bro? This is the Total Nonstop Executive, Mr. So and So. It appears as if you've taken an extended vacation for a long period of time without TNA's consent. Mr. Ja double r e double t is not happen with you. I'm just calling to tell you that if you don't make an appearance by the end of this month, we'll have no choice but to terminate your contract. And he hangs up. Of course, my first thought was: TNA still exists? Wow, I thought all the fans would leave in disgust at the lack of there hero! They must have the ultimate patience.
As this is going on, a woman in a TNA Referee's outfit walks out, With the X-Division Feast or Fired Briefcase. The crowd goes into a frenzy upon seeing it.
So anyway, that's about it, really. I just came out here to please all of you, and the TNA Management. It's a shame I can't do anything else tonight, but you know, rules are rules. Come on Becky, let's go-(Sees woman with case)o-o-o-o-o-OH SNAP! (Starts jumping up and down) DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? DO YOU KNOW THIS IS? WHY, I"LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS!....... A sexy, gorgeous, hot, spectacular woman, in uniform! Number 2182 on my list! TNA, I forgive you for everything you've done to me!
Robbie E drops to his knees and bows, looking very happy.
Hey babe. TNA did send you, right? (Woman nods) HOT DAMN! I never thought they had it in them! I'm going to have a ball tonight, let me tell you right now! But- what's that in your hand ther-
Upon seeing the case, Robbie E's eyes grow wide, like he just spotted the holy grail. He snatches it from here and cradles it in his hand, seemingly tears in his eyes.
You- you must be an angel from heaven. Thank you! THANK YOU THANK THANK YOU! THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!! (Calms down) You know, I almost forget about this thing. And, you know, I just remembered: I do have the end of the year to use this thing, right? Hm........ Then again, she is kind of hot..... SCREW IT, I"M DOING IT TONIGHT!!!!!..... AFTER the regularly scheduled match. (Shrugs shoulders) Why not? I still have to get to know this lovely lady over here, and I don't want to mess up any advertised plans! Think of it this way: It's another match on the card. And dude: IT HAS ME IN IT! So pop your collars and start to holler, because THE SHORE IS DECLARING THE WAR!!!!!!!!!!!
Robbie E puts his arms around the woman and Bayless, as he poses for the fans, who look like they are going to start a riot.
Tenay: So as we were saying… West: X Division title, got it.
JB: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the TNA X Division Championship!
JB: Introducing the challenger, from Katy, Texas, weighing 200 pounds, Jesse “The Jet” Sorensen!
Tenay: Well as we just found out, the winner of this match now has to defend the title aginst Robbie E immediately afterward. Does that change the gameplan? West: Well how can it not knowing you have another title match just seconds after this one.
JB: And his opponent, from Venice California, weighing 184 pounds, Brian Kendrick!
Tenay: Well let’s just focus on this match for now. And Jesse Sorensen has been impressive in his short time in TNA a fact that has not gone unnoticed by Brian Kendrick. West: he has been impressive but Kendrick has held that title for months on end. You don’t do that without being impressive yourself.
TNA X Division Championship Brian Kendrick (c) v Jesse Sorensen 4 votes 15 minutes
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Post by wwe1993 on Nov 13, 2011 19:41:51 GMT -5
Jesse with a corkscrew moonsault
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Post by The Tank on Nov 13, 2011 19:42:00 GMT -5
Jesse Sorensen with a Full House!
Which is that thing that happens when you try to powerbomb Billy Kidman.
Then he jumps over the top rope and hits a splash on Robbie E. Just because.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2011 19:43:13 GMT -5
Three things.
1. Didn't we release Becky?
2. macman, did you realize who wrote for Sorensen and just give up?
and 3. Sorensen with a dropkick!
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 13, 2011 19:43:46 GMT -5
Sorenson with the Rocket Launcher. I think it's a Spartan Kick.
Meanwhile, Robbie E chats up the lovely woman ref while Becky Bayless spots a rather dashing man wearing a shirt that says "Hayden".
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lodirulz
Hank Scorpio
Live as the color red in a world of black and white.
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Post by lodirulz on Nov 13, 2011 19:44:29 GMT -5
(Robbie E, Bayless, and The Random Referee Woman, take seats in the front row.)
You better hope you don't have a girlfriend bro. Or else I'll be messing with Jesse's girl.
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Post by The Tank on Nov 13, 2011 19:44:45 GMT -5
Meanwhile, Robbie E chats up the lovely woman ref while Becky Bayless spots a rather dashing man wearing a shirt that says "Hayden". That's a plant. The real guy's a fat ugly bastard.
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