Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
Posts: 4,785
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Post by Dat Dude on Jan 2, 2012 18:20:14 GMT -5
Kick his ass, f*** her, then wake up in the moring with bloody knuckles and a smile. Best advice I can give. So you want him to be Clive Owen's character from Sin City? But seriously, I wouldn't pursue a person who's involved with someone else no matter what the circumstance. All you can do is be supportive in help her out of that abusive situation, and its meant to be ya'll end up together down the road. |
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jan 2, 2012 19:18:38 GMT -5
Edit: I didn't see the part about the alleged abuse. That ain't cool.
She ain't an innocent party in the whole thing I can't imagine. It can't be just him providing drama.
I wouldn't want the headache.
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Post by rapidfire187 on Jan 2, 2012 19:55:03 GMT -5
Edit: I didn't see the part about the alleged abuse. That ain't cool. She ain't an innocent party in the whole thing I can't imagine. It can't be just him providing drama. I wouldn't want the headache. Yea I also missed the part about him physically hitting her. That's not excusable at all. Still, you're probably getting into a situation that's not going to end well. Also to the people that are completely defending her behavior...the bottom line is that while this dude is a massive prick, she's dating him even though there's another guy that she is interested in and could actually have. This tells me that something isn't quite right with her. I know you like her, but I would bet my bottom dollar that it wouldn't end well. |
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jan 2, 2012 19:58:07 GMT -5
Honestly, you should just try to help the girl. Don't try to go after her, at least not now. Just offer her support and help when she need it.
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Post by Alex Shelley on Jan 2, 2012 20:31:38 GMT -5
Edit: I didn't see the part about the alleged abuse. That ain't cool. She ain't an innocent party in the whole thing I can't imagine. It can't be just him providing drama. I wouldn't want the headache. Yea I also missed the part about him physically hitting her. That's not excusable at all. Still, you're probably getting into a situation that's not going to end well. Also to the people that are completely defending her behavior...the bottom line is that while this dude is a massive prick, she's dating him even though there's another guy that she is interested in and could actually have. This tells me that something isn't quite right with her. I know you like her, but I would bet my bottom dollar that it wouldn't end well. I'm putting my response to this under a spoiler warning because I feel bad for sorta derailing... {Spoiler}Okay... I'm trying not to be really emotional and infuriated at some of the things that I'm seeing in this thread that is blaming her. But I really need to say this.
Stockholm syndrome is real. It exists. Like I said, there are very real psychological reasons that a person who is being mistreated will stay with the person doing it. If this is a case where this is a pre-abusive (or has already gotten there) thing, I can guarantee that the guy has played all sorts of mind tricks on her to make it so that leaving him is as difficult as possible.
If you have never been there, you really, really shouldn't be going around saying s*** about people who have, because it's f***ing hurtful to those of us who have been there, to see people talking like staying with an abuser means that a person is "looking for drama" or trying to get attention. Do you even realize how hard that is for me to read in this thread? You don't understand the sort of things that are going through a person's head when they're in that situation. You do not understand the reasons why the person doesn't leave the situation. It isn't simple, it isn't logical.
And no, her being attracted to another man does not excuse abuse, and doesn't make her "part of the problem". It is an entirely separate issue that should not be lumped together with everything else that was described here. I can understand that maybe most people aren't equipped to recognize the red flags that signal an abusive relationship the way I am, and I could understand that... If it weren't for the fact that the guy hit her. |
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Post by rapidfire187 on Jan 2, 2012 20:47:47 GMT -5
You act like I've never known someone who has been in an abusive relationship and refused to leave. And while it's true that I don't know the girl or the situation other than what I've read in this thread, the same can be said for you. You have sat here and diagnosed a person that you don't even know with a psychological disorder just because it happened to you. So please, don't try to make me appear insensitive because you're getting emotional over a situation that may or may not even be happening. Domestic abuse is awful, it f***ing sucks, I know this from family experience. But that doesn't mean that this girl is a saint or something. She may very well be, but based on what I've read, I think the OP would end up for the worst if he pursued her any further.
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Post by Alex Shelley on Jan 2, 2012 21:09:24 GMT -5
If you think I have "diagnosed her" then I don't think you have understood a word I've said. Nor did I ever say she was a saint.
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,082
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Post by Mozenrath on Jan 2, 2012 21:17:58 GMT -5
OP wanted advice, he got advice, and before this gets any more contentious, I'm nipping this in the bud. I think we're done here.
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