Coworkers and "Revealing" Clothing

[Dragonfly]

I started my current office job about a year ago. At that time, there were about twenty women to six or seven men. Two of those men quit shortly after I started. Another quit sometime over the summer. Guy number four left in September. As the men the left, their positions were filled by women. As it stands, there are only three guys left, myself being one of course. Out of those three, I am the only one who is under the age of 35. I am also married.

A few months ago, I noticed something that was happening with my coworkers. As more of the men left, my coworkers started to dress in a more... how do I put this lightly... "liberal" fashion. It was subtle at first - a few pairs of sandals and a tighter fitting shirt every now and again. Things changed completely when the aforementioned "guy number four" quit. See, he was what us other three were not - that is, young, good looking and single. Once he was gone, the clothes started getting downright wild. One of my coworkers donned a pair of fishnets and ill-fitting Sex Pistols shirt. Another wore a short skirt and a thigh-high boots. Yet other one... let's just call it "cleavage" and move on. Even the hipster chick and the one lady who spends her lunches and every meeting knitting is getting in on it. It's getting so over-the-top that manage had to release a memo urging everyone to "dress more businesslike." Nothing changed.

Now let me make one thing clear: I'm not being a "chauvinist pig" here. Again, I am happily married and besides, I'm not the "objectify women" type. That said, it's hard to have a conversation when the person you're talking to is wearing a push-up bra. So I ask:

1) Have any of you run into anything like this in your place of work?

2) Is this sort of thing normal?

3) Anyone else find the psychological aspect to this phenomenon to be extremely interesting?

[Urethra Franklin]

Nothing to the extent you're experiencing, but yeah, I've worked in offices in the past where a couple of employees wore some rather inappropriate attire. Not that the ladies were unattractive in the slightest, but the general feeling around the workplace was that it was unprofessional and it reflected poorly on them.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Yeah, there is this one girl at work who dresses rather, um, revealingly? I am fine with it. So is everyone else who isn't totally jealous they can't pull it off.

[agent817]

Actually, yes. There was a co-worker of mine from this past season who once came to work wearing a strapless dress and the bottom part went above the knees.

There have been other times when a girl dressed a certain way, like maybe wearing a low-cut top. Some of those forms of clothing are considered sexual harassment waiting to happen.

[rapidfire187]

Are you guys hiring??

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Dec 30, 2011 16:57:29 GMT -5 agent817 said:

Actually, yes. There was a co-worker of mine from this past season who once came to work wearing a strapless dress and the bottom part went above the knees.

There have been other times when a girl dressed a certain way, like maybe wearing a low-cut top. Some of those forms of clothing are considered sexual harassment waiting to happen.

That's kind of how the girl I work with dresses. She's young, very pretty, friendly. It is just her style, while she likes the attention, it is her style. She isn't going out of her way to dress like that.

[agent817]

You know, there is one thing that I have never understood. If some girls dress a certain and don't like it when a guy looks at her a certain way, why does she dress like it to begin with? That's like going to a water park or beach and not expecting to get checked out. Girls who go somewhere dressed in a bathing suit are bound to be looked at.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Dec 30, 2011 17:15:01 GMT -5 agent817 said:

You know, there is one thing that I have never understood. If some girls dress a certain and don't like it when a guy looks at her a certain way, why does she dress like it to begin with? That's like going to a water park or beach and not expecting to get checked out. Girls who go somewhere dressed in a bathing suit are bound to be looked at.

[Chuckie Finster]

Women get away with more office dress code violations than men. I got reprimanded last month for not wearing a work-approved shirt although I was wearing a normal collared shirt . Some of the women I work with often wear business casual that while appropriate, isn't work-approved.

If someone came into my workplace dressed as an 80's roadie, they would be terminated immediately, especially considering the main function of their job is guest services and thus the "front porch" which gives the first impression to a paying customer.

If the behavior of testing dress code policy at work becomes a trend, then it shows a failure of management to correct the situation. This is one of those cases where if they're your co-workers and your not in charge of them, then it's best to try to ignore it and continue to follow policy. If it gets to a breaking point, then an anonymous complaint to management might be the best COA as long as you can make sure it stays anonymous.

[The Ichi]

And now I hate having a job with official uniforms.

[wcw]

I don't see a problem here, I mean unless they are ugly. Kidding sort of, but honestly I think if its that big of an issue you should contact HR or your supervisor. Its not a sex thing, its more so just professionalism.

[Deleted]

It sounds like you work in a 90's Fox sitcom.

[Red Impact]

I was going to ask if you worked at a Strip Club, but Numero99's response is so much better.

[Dragonfly]

Dec 30, 2011 18:12:02 GMT -5 Red Impact said:

I was going to ask if you worked at a Strip Club, but Numero99's response is so much better.

Nope. I'm a proofreader. We're all proofreaders in this office. I don't know about any of you, but when I think of proofreaders, my mind immediately goes to fishnets and push-up bras.

[Mozenrath]

Is it really warm in the office or something?

[Deleted]

Dec 30, 2011 18:30:25 GMT -5 Dragonfly said:

Dec 30, 2011 18:12:02 GMT -5 Red Impact said:

I was going to ask if you worked at a Strip Club, but Numero99's response is so much better.

Nope. I'm a proofreader. We're all proofreaders in this office. I don't know about any of you, but when I think of proofreaders, my mind immediately goes to fishnets and push-up bras.

Y'know man, boring office life = anything to make it more fun & women love dressing up.

If it were an office of guys there'd be broomstick hockey or something.

[Kash Flagg]

Dec 30, 2011 18:38:02 GMT -5 @personman01 said:

Dec 30, 2011 18:30:25 GMT -5 Dragonfly said:

Nope. I'm a proofreader. We're all proofreaders in this office. I don't know about any of you, but when I think of proofreaders, my mind immediately goes to fishnets and push-up bras.

Y'know man, boring office life = anything to make it more fun & women love dressing up.

If it were an office of guys there'd be broomstick hockey or something.

And most guys can't pull off the push up bra look.

[Deleted]

Dec 30, 2011 18:45:28 GMT -5 Kash Flagg said:

Dec 30, 2011 18:38:02 GMT -5 @personman01 said:

Y'know man, boring office life = anything to make it more fun & women love dressing up.

If it were an office of guys there'd be broomstick hockey or something.

And most guys can't pull off the push up bra look.

True, but I work in San Francisco so...the things I've seen.......

[darthalexander]

Dec 30, 2011 17:15:01 GMT -5 agent817 said:

You know, there is one thing that I have never understood. If some girls dress a certain and don't like it when a guy looks at her a certain way, why does she dress like it to begin with? That's like going to a water park or beach and not expecting to get checked out. Girls who go somewhere dressed in a bathing suit are bound to be looked at.

I had a co-worker who is a very busty girl. She often wore v-necks and shirts that showed a ton of cleavage. Naturally guys would look but every time they did and she spotted them doing it, she would cry.

It was really odd. The problem is she was so busty and popping out of her tops that you couldn't help but spot them. It's not that you were necessarily being pigish, but even women stared.

[Piccolo]

Heh! I can't talk, as I wore a tighter skirt than I otherwise would've to work today because I knew there would be hardly anyone there. I have a hypothesis, which is that we all spend the vast majority of our time in a place where we have a dress code. That means that all the awesome, fun clothes we loved in college have to get shoved in the closet until the weekend, and we barely get to wear them anymore.

The fact that the women have waited til all the men who they thought would take it the wrong way were gone is telling me it isn't at all about wanting male attention... they went out of their way to avoid doing it when it would get that for them. Instead, it's about wanting to wear the rest of their closet, and now thinking that it's not going to hurt anyone if they do.

That said, they certainly shouldn't be doing it (not if the men aren't coming in wearing their weekend clothes). The management should take some firm action to address the problem.

Dec 30, 2011 17:15:01 GMT -5 agent817 said:

You know, there is one thing that I have never understood. If some girls dress a certain and don't like it when a guy looks at her a certain way, why does she dress like it to begin with? That's like going to a water park or beach and not expecting to get checked out. Girls who go somewhere dressed in a bathing suit are bound to be looked at.

What are the standards for whether a woman deserves to get inappropriately ogled or not, though? Showing her knees? Her ankles? Her face? Different people have different standards for that. And when in doubt, it's just better to treat people with respect.

Incidentally, I don't think a guy in swim trunks is asking for me to stare at his chest instead of his face while we talk, or catcall him while he's with his girlfriend. I think he probably just wants to go swimming and it's a hot day. Call me crazy....

ETA: I realized I forgot to answer the "is this sort of thing normal" part of the post. Yeah, I think it's normal. In places where women are mostly by themselves, they're not going to be as concerned about whether they dress to "send the right messages." If I'm going to my galpal's house for an overnight party, and there are only other girls there, for example, I'll probably pack shorts for bed instead of flannel pants, I may not worry so much about the kind of bra I throw in there (if the only thing clean is a pushup bra, whatever), I might wear a skirt that's a little shorter or tends to slide open a little more than I would around my guy friends... etc.

It just doesn't matter what you wear around other gals, so you can be free to where whatever's available, or whatever's fun, or whatever you feel like. We don't have pillow fights in our bras and panties like they do in the movies, obviously (my friends and I don't, anyway), but it's more lax than around guys we don't want to hit on us.