Hilarious WCW quotes from the Observer

[Deleted]

You guys seriously have to check this old thread out

board.deathvalleydriver.com/index.php?showtopic=294&st=0


I have been laughing for an hour straight...Sounds like Dave is losing his mind due to how bad WCW is...


Seriously cant stop laughing at this


"A popular Cincinnati radio station ran a contest where the 13th caller would win free tickets to Thunder. There was no winner, as the station didn't receive 13 calls" - Wrestling Observer Live (Bad News Allan episode)

[Krimzon]

"Kevin Nash then came out with a black girl, I guess to show that he is cool."

Well, he is Big Daddy Cool after all...

[Deleted]

I never get tired of:

La Parka was reading the financial pages when Madusa propositioned him

[Krimzon]

"In Philadelphia, apparently the hydraulics didn't work and The Demon was stuck in his coffin for about three minutes before they could get him out."

If there's one place that gimmick belonged, it was in a coffin. Also, how did that Jim Duggan TV show not get picked up!? That would've been a ratings bonanza.

[Ringout]

After the show, Vicious confronted Mark Madden and yelled at him. Madden made a remark about the three-way and said that Vicious may be the "monkey in the middle", which of course is a kids game. Vicious was told by someone that Madden called him a monkey and he was very upset about it. Madden tried to explain what he actually said but Sid, I guess with his head busted upon and groggy from the possible concussion and jetlagged from Germany, wasn't interested in hearing.

Incredible.

[Oh Cry Me a Screwball]

board.deathvalleydriver.com/index.php?showtopic=38799

Here's a similar thread that is still getting updates to this day. I have both of them bookmarked.

[Krimzon]

"The Dog got loose from Knobbs and apparently he was drinking out of the toilet. I just saw him on his knees in the bathroom with Knobbs telling him to stop. It took several minutes before it was explained what he was actually doing. Dog wrestled Smiley. Smiley spanked the Dog before the match. After the match, Dog went after Scott Dikinson, with Mark Madden mentioning that Scott Dinkinson's full time job is a mailman (which is true). Dog tried to tree Smiley backstage after the match"

"Funk attacked Rhodes after the match, knocking him out with a loaded chicken"

There are not words for that. There's only:

[Deleted]

Jun 11, 2012 17:15:33 GMT -5 Krimzon said:

"The Dog got loose from Knobbs and apparently he was drinking out of the toilet. I just saw him on his knees in the bathroom with Knobbs telling him to stop. It took several minutes before it was explained what he was actually doing. Dog wrestled Smiley. Smiley spanked the Dog before the match. After the match, Dog went after Scott Dikinson, with Mark Madden mentioning that Scott Dinkinson's full time job is a mailman (which is true). Dog tried to tree Smiley backstage after the match"

"Funk attacked Rhodes after the match, knocking him out with a loaded chicken"

There are not words for that. There's only:

I remember both of these events. Late period WCW had some serious gems in the "WTF this is hilarious" category.

[Spankymac is sick of the swiss]

A loaded....chicken? What the butt?

[Oh Cry Me a Screwball]

"Chavo Jr. & Animal beat Misterio Jr. & Kidman. Schiavone was waiting all day for the line talking about Misterio Jr. wrestling in Mexico, and then said, Mexico is bordered to the south by Guatemala, not Nicaragua, as everybody knows. For the other three million viewers who don't have any idea why he said this, it's because 11 years ago, there was this guy who did a wrestling newsletter named Steve Beverly who had the ear of a guy at TBS named Jeff Carr. Carr made the call that WCW Saturday Night should only have one host, and it was Ross. Schiavone was so mad he went to the WWF for several years. He's hated Beverly ever since. Anyway, last week on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire', a contestant was asked what country bordered Mexico to the south and called Beverly for a lifeline and Beverly said Nicaragua and his friend hesitated, but went with Beverly's pick, and was wrong."

That Schiavone is such a class act.

[Deleted]

"It wasn't Bret Hart driving the monster truck nor was Sid in the car that was being run over, although both were the original plan. Hart was told what part of the car to drive over and where Sid would be in the car so as to not drive over him. Hart refused saying he wasn't an experienced stunt driver. There was no problem with his decision and he was apologized to for being asked"

Hey sid sit here in this car and hope not to get killed today alright?

I imagine thats what they meant to tell him...but then just said They lost something and to go in the car and look for it.

[willywonka666]

"The only ratings question of the week was whether or not WCW Nitro would beat the Westminster Dog Show on the USA Network on 2/14. The answer was no" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: February 21, 2000.

I recall reading that the dog show drew better ratings than the Raw leading up to WM 14, which included Mike Tyson, but everything changed after Austin won that following weekend.

[Krimzon]

"Meng speared a life sized poster of Goldberg. Meng used the poster to block Knobbs spraying him with a fire extinguisher. Meng then threw Knobbs off a 30-foot balcony."

Don't f*** with Meng!

[suben]

It's always great re-reading this.

"They had throughout the show teased a new member of the nWo. Out came a bearded Ed Leslie"

That'll always be my favorite because of how matter of fact it is. It just makes it one of the most WCW things along with THAT picture...



One sentence and one picture and they're pure, condensed WCW.

[Krimzon]

Reading through all this, I'm STUNNED the company made it a year past 2000.

[Deleted]

Madden was at this point told to get over about how WCW doesn't do schmazz finishes and cheap DQ's. Except for Wall vs. Awesome up to that point, there had been nothing but schmazz finishes.

I love insane WCW.

[Deleted]

"The big finish was totally screwed up. The idea was that Jarrett and Page were to climb the scaffolding. Arquette would climb the scaffolding, hit Jarrett with the guitar, who would take the bump through the gimmicked part of the stage that they would fall through. When leaving the ring, by accident, Asya stepped on the set and fell through, so everyone could see that it was gimmicked. Arquette than ran out and apparently wasn't given directions as to what to avoid, and fell into the gimmicked part of the stage. So Jarrett and Page improvised up there with Page deciding to save the show and take the bump into what was already evident as the gimmicked hole in the stage. No idea at press time how this will be edited" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: May 08, 2000.

LMFAO

[molson5]

"Eddie Guerrero double count out Syxx in a 2:00 ladder match. I've got a feeling watching a ladder match go to a double count out in that short a time on TV will make me spent $27.95 to see them have a rematch."
- Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer (January 20, 1997)

[molson5]

I've always liked this one too:

"Chris Jericho's final WCW match was 7/21 in Peoria, IL in a tag match teaming with Eddie against Kidman and Mysterio. Before the match, Jericho said that if he got pinned he'd leave WCW. Misterio than said everyone already knew it was his last night in WCW. (After the match) all four hugged in the ring. There were fans in near tears, as was Jericho. Kidman started a Jericho chant. Jericho said that he was overwhelmed by the response, but he still thinks that Peoria sucks" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: August 02, 1999

And Warrior wasn't in WCW that long, but long enough to deliver several Meltzer gems:

"Warrior got lost in mid thought and walked around silently for nearly one minute of dead time, and then said something about patience being a virtue" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: August 31, 1998

"This is not meant to be funny, because it really isn't, but next time you see Warrior, look close at his face, particularly the mouth area. I don't know what he's taken in his life but whatever it is, it has caused his facial structure to change to where his face resembles a baboon" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: August 31, 1998

"Hogan pinned Warrior. Warrior came out to 'Warrior Sucks' chants. He was acting like they were cheering him...Warrior came back with a series of mistimed punches. After more messed up looking spots, Hogan pulled this bag out of his trunks. It looked like drug paraphernalia but it was flash paper. Hogan was supposed to throw a fireball at Warrior, but after attempting to light the paper in slow-motion, he threw the fireball and nothing happened. The whole place groaned. Poor Warrior, who didn't have a clue to begin with, really didn't know what to do. Somehow the paper then ignited, nearly setting Hogan's hand on fire. He was supposed to throw a fireball and somehow Dave Penzer was supposed to put his jacket on Warrior, and somehow Warrior was supposed to make a comeback. Warrior improvised. Hogan sliced his forehead open and threw a messed up clothesline. Warrior came back with three mistimed clotheslines. Horace hit Warrior with a chair and Hogan got the pin. Horace poured lighter fluid on Warrior and they teased they were going to set him on fire. Hogan told Horace he'd passed the NWO initiation. -***** " - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: November 11, 1998

"Warrior took disciple under the ring. After hearing about Curt Hennig two weeks ago (went to the bathroom under the ring which was so gross it made two of the wrestlers hiding under the ring with him throw up) I don't even want to think about what Hellwig and Ed Leslie were doing down there. Probably they brought their portable VCR so they could study the latest Japanese moves to incorporate into their future matches" - The Wrestling Observer Newsletter: September 21, 1998

[Citizen Snips]

The Goldberg monster truck made the save.