|
Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Aug 18, 2012 20:09:53 GMT -5
I like the way you think, Mr. Cain. Any means necessary truly means that with you doesn't it? However it means the same for me. Any way I can keep the title I will do it. I've kept this title through my intensity and my intellect for the better part of a year now. This match will be no different.
You know why I like to talk about honor though? I don't want to be the guy known for screwing people out of titles with loopholes and briefcases. I want to be known as the man that took down his opposition and claimed the title as his! I know at the end of the day, titles are titles, but this is something that I truly believe in, and it's worked perfectly so far. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm sure you can agree with that right?
Think of this as your personal welcome to FAWA, Jack. I assure you there is nobody better to act as the welcoming committee than the Head Detective.
|
|
Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,437
|
Post by Jonathan Michaels on Aug 19, 2012 1:47:23 GMT -5
*Michael Hayden sits cross-legged in the center of the ring, a pensive look on his face.* My friends, it seems as though my words fall on deaf ears. Those in charge, those with the power to make matches, they have ignored my request for a challenge. They continue to hold me back, because to them I am expendable. Thanks to my opponents at Gookermania I am no longer the TV Champion, so I'm notable to take my streak to ten. I am not on a Farewell Tour like Ryan Bergman, though he has earned this. To those in charge, I am expendable, a man that can be forgotten, save for the fact that I am in the main event of Gookermania.
You see, the truth is that I was never suppose to win BattleBowl. Men like Ryan Blood and Jonathan Michaels, they never wanted me to be a threat. That's why Blood screwed me over and Michaels benefited with little protest. Oh sure, he swore he would make this right, but now he doesn't even have MY title. And while he may have lost the title in a similar matter to mine, he still remains an enemy. He still remains on my list. He proved himself to be a con man, telling me one thing while doing another.
Some may call me paranoid, no doubt caused by the stress of headlining Gookermania. After all, I've barely been here three months and already I have a shot at the World Title. But total paranoia is just total awareness. I am aware of my opponents and what their motives are. Blood is a despicable human being, but he makes no excuses. Jonathan Michaels on the other hand, he remains a mystery. He claims to fight for good, and yet I'm the only one who sees his evil. It's as though I'm the only one who knows his dark side. Well Jono, Hollywood has a dark side as well. And soon, you'll find that out the hard way. Because come hell or high water, I will be the FAWA Heavyweight Title.
Whether you like it or not. Usually I try and refrain from foul language, but BITCH PLEASE.
Trying to tell me about the dark side of Hollywood, I was one of the top stuntmen in the business, I've seen things that would melt your toenails, son.
You clearly have serious mental issues if you still think I am in any way colluding with Ryan Blood.
I told you several times I wanted to give you a rematch, and I can't help it if Dupoe refused to grant it to you.
Rest assured, Hayden, you will have every opportunity to prove yourself at GookerMania, and the I will do to you exactly what I did to Ryan Blood almost a year ago.
Beat your sorry ass and win the world title.
Going around saying you're the only one who sees the evil in me, you're no saint, pal, maybe compared to Blood, but otherwise you have no room to talk.
And let me warn you and Blood right now, do not interfere in my Rules Of Honor match with Ryan Bergman, otherwise he and I will put you out of GookerMania early.
Because unlike you and Blood, I'm not just going to sit on my ass and wait for the big show, getting soft, I'm in this ring, proving why I am the one who deserves to be called champion.
You and Blood can sit on your asses again and watch me do what I do best.
|
|
Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,412
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Aug 19, 2012 2:16:52 GMT -5
*Michael Hayden sits cross-legged in the center of the ring, a pensive look on his face.* My friends, it seems as though my words fall on deaf ears. Those in charge, those with the power to make matches, they have ignored my request for a challenge. They continue to hold me back, because to them I am expendable. Thanks to my opponents at Gookermania I am no longer the TV Champion, so I'm notable to take my streak to ten. I am not on a Farewell Tour like Ryan Bergman, though he has earned this. To those in charge, I am expendable, a man that can be forgotten, save for the fact that I am in the main event of Gookermania.
You see, the truth is that I was never suppose to win BattleBowl. Men like Ryan Blood and Jonathan Michaels, they never wanted me to be a threat. That's why Blood screwed me over and Michaels benefited with little protest. Oh sure, he swore he would make this right, but now he doesn't even have MY title. And while he may have lost the title in a similar matter to mine, he still remains an enemy. He still remains on my list. He proved himself to be a con man, telling me one thing while doing another.
Some may call me paranoid, no doubt caused by the stress of headlining Gookermania. After all, I've barely been here three months and already I have a shot at the World Title. But total paranoia is just total awareness. I am aware of my opponents and what their motives are. Blood is a despicable human being, but he makes no excuses. Jonathan Michaels on the other hand, he remains a mystery. He claims to fight for good, and yet I'm the only one who sees his evil. It's as though I'm the only one who knows his dark side. Well Jono, Hollywood has a dark side as well. And soon, you'll find that out the hard way. Because come hell or high water, I will be the FAWA Heavyweight Title.
Whether you like it or not. Usually I try and refrain from foul language, but BITCH PLEASE.
Trying to tell me about the dark side of Hollywood, I was one of the top stuntmen in the business, I've seen things that would melt your toenails, son.
You clearly have serious mental issues if you still think I am in any way colluding with Ryan Blood.
I told you several times I wanted to give you a rematch, and I can't help it if Dupoe refused to grant it to you.
Rest assured, Hayden, you will have every opportunity to prove yourself at GookerMania, and the I will do to you exactly what I did to Ryan Blood almost a year ago.
Beat your sorry ass and win the world title.
Going around saying you're the only one who sees the evil in me, you're no saint, pal, maybe compared to Blood, but otherwise you have no room to talk.
And let me warn you and Blood right now, do not interfere in my Rules Of Honor match with Ryan Bergman, otherwise he and I will put you out of GookerMania early.
Because unlike you and Blood, I'm not just going to sit on my ass and wait for the big show, getting soft, I'm in this ring, proving why I am the one who deserves to be called champion.
You and Blood can sit on your asses again and watch me do what I do best.
Before you accuse me of not being a saint, I suggest you take a good look in the mirror Jonathan. Because the carnage and violence you brought in your match against BRB, that wasn't the work of a saint. That was of a desperate man, willing to do whatever it took to get the job done. No concern for safety or well-being, just doing what was necessary to emerge victorious.
Myself on the other hand, all my talking is in the ring, doing what I do best: wrestling. Why use weapons when I have the tools to injure at my disposal? Because while you like to say to have Honor, I show it. I don't use sneak attacks or cheap tricks, I look you right in the eye and tell you what's going to happen. So when I say that I'm not interfering in your match with Bergman, you can bet your ass that I wo t lay a finger on either of you. Because I have Honor.
Maybe you don't get my anger towards you Jono, but let me try to put you in my place. A rookie wins the TV Title in his third match and gets told "Ten defenses an you get a world title shot". And over time, that rookie proves that he's got the skills to back up his words. He's got the talent, the drive that you need to succeed. And while many would stop at five defenses and go after a different title, he says no. He wants that world title shot, and nothing will stand in his way. He gets tonumber seven before he gets cheated out of his ultimate goal. Everything he worke towards over the past two months is gone withinthree seconds, through no fault of his own. And you, the beneficiary of Ryan Blood's attack, expect me to get over it? To move on and not be angry towards you, the man who held my title?
Bitch, please.
I know you're not working with Ryan Blood, but in my eyes you're but a notch above him. You've said "Let me talk to Jeremy and make this right", but did you ever talk to him? did you ever stand in that ring and say that Michael Hayden was screwed, that he deserves a rematch? No you did not. You showed up, you wrestled, and you lost my title to someone else. And if memory serves, the week before you won the TV Title, you refused a chance at the Freakin' Awesome Title. Or maybe it was the Interforums, but the point still stands. Why pass on that title but go after mine? What made the TV Title so damn important to you?
Can you even answer that Jono? Or are you too busy preparing to "do what you do best"?
|
|
The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
|
Post by The Punisher on Aug 19, 2012 15:37:49 GMT -5
I like the way you think, Mr. Cain. Any means necessary truly means that with you doesn't it? However it means the same for me. Any way I can keep the title I will do it. I've kept this title through my intensity and my intellect for the better part of a year now. This match will be no different.
You know why I like to talk about honor though? I don't want to be the guy known for screwing people out of titles with loopholes and briefcases. I want to be known as the man that took down his opposition and claimed the title as his! I know at the end of the day, titles are titles, but this is something that I truly believe in, and it's worked perfectly so far. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm sure you can agree with that right?
Think of this as your personal welcome to FAWA, Jack. I assure you there is nobody better to act as the welcoming committee than the Head Detective. Well gee, thanks Aaron, it makes me feel so much better to know I have a welcoming committee. But don't go to too much trouble, I mean I don't want you putting out the best tablecloth.
If you're making tea, though, milk and one sugar.
But seriously, honour is overrated. I've lived in a world where all honour gets you is last place. You have to work the angles, you have to look after yourself, and if that means screwing someone over to get ahead, then so what? You only live once don't you?
Look, I ain't gonna sit here and argue with ya, cos you've got your philosophy, and I've got mine, but the question is, who's that gonna work out for best.
All I say is this: Be smart. Don't turn your back on me for a second. You'll pay the price.
|
|
Jazzman
King Koopa
Trombone Shorty > Your Favorite Musician
Posts: 11,231
|
Post by Jazzman on Aug 19, 2012 16:09:58 GMT -5
Of all the arenas in all the world... he had to walk into this one.
So, Colt's back! Not sure if any of ya'll missed Nite-Raw, but he's going to be the guesr ref for me and Seth at Gookermania. Now I know what some of you are thinking. Bergman, last time he was there Seth took him out, why are you worried?
Well, let's go back to memory lane. First, Colt beat me at Gookermania III in a friendly exhibition of our tag team. Then Colt turned on me to form The Pantheon and I never got a chance to get revenge. It isn't all water under the bridge. I'm sure we'll have words before this match and maybe we'll get to the bottom of this.
But this week Jon Michaels and I meet in the center of the ring. We met back in the gym from Saved By The Bell for the Championship of Honor way back when and now we meet again. It's always a classic and there is no doubt that it won't be different on Monday. We're going for it all in the ring and I look forward to wrestling you Jono.
It will be an instant classic.
|
|
Jeremy Dupoe
Don Corleone
Your lack of intelligence disgusts me
Posts: 1,414
|
Post by Jeremy Dupoe on Aug 19, 2012 16:23:52 GMT -5
Dupoe I'm not getting involved in anything with you and Jack Cain unless you make your presence felt during our match next week. I don't like when my matches are interrupted or dirtied by outside influences. My goal is to get in that ring, win, and walk out with my belt.
We've argued since I came back that you have this track record with detectives and the like. I'm not after you, Dupoe, unless you give me a reason to. I assure you I'm like no detective you've met before, and that's a fact.
I have more pressing things to deal with, such as Jack Cain. *Jack Cain is sitting on a sun lounger by a pool, bandaging around his knee. He is still reading Dupoe's book.* Oh Hi everyone, welcome to my humble abode. Sorry about the mess, the pool man only comes on Wednesdays and last week I was guarding Harrison Ford on the set of Indiana Jones 7: So Very Tired.
Anyway, I got a special message for two people: Aaron Enigma, and Jeremy Dupoe.
Both of you, I'm really not the type to hold a grudge, but this is all getting a little boring.
Aaron, I like the whole cookie cutter goodness thing and all, reminds me of Macaulay Culkin when he was off the sauce, but jeez, all this honor stuff, give it a break. You just gotta know, at the moment, winning that title is the most important thing in the world to me (after getting Jeri Ryan to go on a date), and however you want to play this, I'm gonna do anything in my power to get it. You'd better realise we can shake hands all you want, but when it comes down to it, I might have to play dirty to get what I want. That title is gonna be mine, it don't take a detective to work that out.
And Jeremy? Well, when I've finished reading this, and worked out how to exorcise the memory of Ghostbusters 2, I'm going to entrust it to a friend of mine. You like him, done a few years in the slammer, started eating goats a few years back, has a real thing for knives, theatricality, that sort of thing. Anyway, he's gonna be looking after it for me until Gookermania. If you or Nett try and get it back, he'll show you how a woodchipper works, if you get my drift.
All you gotta do is agree to that match, and I'll make sure you get it back, as long as I get that little cure. Everyone's a winner...*Cain's phone rings* "Hello?... Chuck Norris?... Yeah, I'll do it...but not for less that $600k...I don't care if he'll have to close the ape sanctuary, I don't come cheap!" I will have to think about the match but just to let you know,throw it in the wood chipper, it will come out unscathed, as It is imbued with the power or the Great Old Ones, your going to need something far more powerful, and mystical.
|
|
Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
|
Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Aug 19, 2012 17:07:50 GMT -5
Rumor has it.... Rumor has it.... Rumor has it.... Rumor has it....
That Mad Pirate Mulligan is going be the first young squire to dethrone the King of Television.
Mad Pirate Mulligan.
A man that can be summed up in simply 1 minute and 59 seconds thanks to LazyTown's classic musical number, You are A Pirate. And if you didn't know that, then maannn, do you need to get your ass onto a Dell!
Now I understand that as King of Television, there are not that many available on the roster that give me a legitimate challenge. I understand that I'm not always going to get Law and Order or Lost type competition. But instead of giving me the X-Files, you get bring me LazyTown. A show that came onto Nick Jr. and immediately was taken off the air due to cheesy 1950's humor, and kids getting nightmares.
Oh, do I worry for our future generations, I really do.
But it isn't all that bad. I can still educate those on what they should be studying, instead of Algebra or Social Studies. If they are that concerned over learning, then get a Leapfrog.
No, if you want to truly leave your school with straight A's, then you must be able to acquire the knowledge of:
![](http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001653417/oh-god-its-duckface-42062754752_xlarge.jpeg)
Yes, the Duckface.
Definition: A facial expression utilized by attention-seeking teenage girls in which they push their lips outward and upward to give the appearance of large, pouty lips.
Amanda Fuchs makes a duckface in all of her profile pictures.
Now, we can certainly apply The Duckface to Mad Pirate Mulligan: Normally, the Duckface is said to look stupid. One look at his costume, and you can definitely tell that he looks about as stupid and as scary as Chucky.
Now, I know what your thinking, but I'm prepared: If Chucky ever appears in my room at night, I've watched enough Rick Steiner to know my way out of the situation.
Not to mention that Mad Mulligan is as much of a pirate as Johnny Depp ever was. If you truly believe that Mad Pirate Mulligan is going to be the first one to bring defeat onto me, then your either Uno: Stupid, or Dos: A Beliber. And both can definitely be the same.
Figure it Out was entertaining. GUTS was entertaining. Double Dare was entertaining. Pirates of The Caribbean was NOT entertaining. I saw it in the theaters, was on Skype five minutes later.
Him representing Television would be like taking away the fire and destruction from a Godzilla movie. Like taking the picture away from a Youtube Video. Like removing hot chicks from webcams. It's not going to happen anytime soon.
I represent all that is good and all that is bad every time you turn on your sets. And once I gain control of The Internet with possession of The Inter-Fourm's Championship, my revolution can expand worldwide. Soon everyone will know about The Shining Twins and The Offspring Band. Soon everyone will appreciate Japanese commercials, and will start writing to General Mills, demanding that the Trix Rabbit gets his fair share.
It'll all be because of me. And it'll benefit all of our futures.
Thanks are to be given. Yarrrrr?! Duckfaces? LazyTown?! What kinda flibbertigibbet are ye spoutin'? Speak English boyo! With yer devotion to those damnable glowing boxes I'd think that the spirits have gotten to ye an scrambled yer brains! A good few weeks of swabbin' the deck and a good keelhaulin' might do ye some good and bring ye back to yer senses!
And ta be fair.....The the second PotC movie's much better, even though Geoffrey Rush isn't in it, wonderful ham that he is.
|
|
|
Post by General Adam on Aug 19, 2012 21:40:39 GMT -5
Hello everybody. Did you miss me? Well I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly.
*Lights a cigar*
I know what you are all thinking and that is where in the hell have I been for the past couple of months. That answer is simple: Apparently beating up random people on the streets and having sexual intercourse with female animals is frown upon in today's society.
*Note: The FAWA does not reflect or condone the actions of the General of the Monkey Army. Why does he have a job still is a mystery to us.*
You do not know true love until you have sex with a monkey, a kangaroo, a horse, a lioness, a dolphin, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
|
|
Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
|
Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Aug 19, 2012 22:39:55 GMT -5
Hello everybody. Did you miss me? Well I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly.*Lights a cigar* I know what you are all thinking and that is where in the hell have I been for the past couple of months. That answer is simple: Apparently beating up random people on the streets and having sexual intercourse with female animals is frown upon in today's society.*Note: The FAWA does not reflect or condone the actions of the General of the Monkey Army. Why does he have a job still is a mystery to us.* You do not know true love until you have sex with a monkey, a kangaroo, a horse, a lioness, a dolphin, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yarrr? Simultaneously?
|
|
|
Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Aug 19, 2012 22:48:47 GMT -5
Hello everybody. Did you miss me? Well I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly.*Lights a cigar* I know what you are all thinking and that is where in the hell have I been for the past couple of months. That answer is simple: Apparently beating up random people on the streets and having sexual intercourse with female animals is frown upon in today's society.*Note: The FAWA does not reflect or condone the actions of the General of the Monkey Army. Why does he have a job still is a mystery to us.* You do not know true love until you have sex with a monkey, a kangaroo, a horse, a lioness, a dolphin, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Youlisted horse twice in that list.
|
|
|
Post by General Adam on Aug 19, 2012 22:55:35 GMT -5
Hello everybody. Did you miss me? Well I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly.*Lights a cigar* I know what you are all thinking and that is where in the hell have I been for the past couple of months. That answer is simple: Apparently beating up random people on the streets and having sexual intercourse with female animals is frown upon in today's society.*Note: The FAWA does not reflect or condone the actions of the General of the Monkey Army. Why does he have a job still is a mystery to us.* You do not know true love until you have sex with a monkey, a kangaroo, a horse, a lioness, a dolphin, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yarrr? Simultaneously? Only the monkey and the kangaroo.
|
|
Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,437
|
Post by Jonathan Michaels on Aug 20, 2012 0:03:07 GMT -5
Usually I try and refrain from foul language, but BITCH PLEASE.
Trying to tell me about the dark side of Hollywood, I was one of the top stuntmen in the business, I've seen things that would melt your toenails, son.
You clearly have serious mental issues if you still think I am in any way colluding with Ryan Blood.
I told you several times I wanted to give you a rematch, and I can't help it if Dupoe refused to grant it to you.
Rest assured, Hayden, you will have every opportunity to prove yourself at GookerMania, and the I will do to you exactly what I did to Ryan Blood almost a year ago.
Beat your sorry ass and win the world title.
Going around saying you're the only one who sees the evil in me, you're no saint, pal, maybe compared to Blood, but otherwise you have no room to talk.
And let me warn you and Blood right now, do not interfere in my Rules Of Honor match with Ryan Bergman, otherwise he and I will put you out of GookerMania early.
Because unlike you and Blood, I'm not just going to sit on my ass and wait for the big show, getting soft, I'm in this ring, proving why I am the one who deserves to be called champion.
You and Blood can sit on your asses again and watch me do what I do best.
Before you accuse me of not being a saint, I suggest you take a good look in the mirror Jonathan. Because the carnage and violence you brought in your match against BRB, that wasn't the work of a saint. That was of a desperate man, willing to do whatever it took to get the job done. No concern for safety or well-being, just doing what was necessary to emerge victorious.
Myself on the other hand, all my talking is in the ring, doing what I do best: wrestling. Why use weapons when I have the tools to injure at my disposal? Because while you like to say to have Honor, I show it. I don't use sneak attacks or cheap tricks, I look you right in the eye and tell you what's going to happen. So when I say that I'm not interfering in your match with Bergman, you can bet your ass that I wo t lay a finger on either of you. Because I have Honor.
Maybe you don't get my anger towards you Jono, but let me try to put you in my place. A rookie wins the TV Title in his third match and gets told "Ten defenses an you get a world title shot". And over time, that rookie proves that he's got the skills to back up his words. He's got the talent, the drive that you need to succeed. And while many would stop at five defenses and go after a different title, he says no. He wants that world title shot, and nothing will stand in his way. He gets tonumber seven before he gets cheated out of his ultimate goal. Everything he worke towards over the past two months is gone withinthree seconds, through no fault of his own. And you, the beneficiary of Ryan Blood's attack, expect me to get over it? To move on and not be angry towards you, the man who held my title?
Bitch, please.
I know you're not working with Ryan Blood, but in my eyes you're but a notch above him. You've said "Let me talk to Jeremy and make this right", but did you ever talk to him? did you ever stand in that ring and say that Michael Hayden was screwed, that he deserves a rematch? No you did not. You showed up, you wrestled, and you lost my title to someone else. And if memory serves, the week before you won the TV Title, you refused a chance at the Freakin' Awesome Title. Or maybe it was the Interforums, but the point still stands. Why pass on that title but go after mine? What made the TV Title so damn important to you?
Can you even answer that Jono? Or are you too busy preparing to "do what you do best"? My answer is simple.
I talked to Dupoe backstage, in his office, to emphasize to him my sincerity.
I didn't want to simply come out in front of the crowd to make myself look good, to make a scene of it.
I told him you deserved another shot, he never responded, but he booked other opponents against me, which was the only answer I was ever given.
But honestly, you don't see what's going on here?
Ryan Blood would love nothing better than to force us to turn our energies against one another, tear each other apart and allow him and his associates to pick up the scraps.
He cost you the TV title and put it on me to focus your attention on me because he knew the two of us were the biggest threats to his title.
Then he cost me the belt to assure neither one of us had a chance to cash in on him.
You've seen how he neutralized Gus Richlen, you don't think he's capable of such things?
Don't get me wrong, at GookerMania, it's every man for himself, but even you have to agree the last thing that can happen is Ryan Blood leaving with the world title.
As for my Honor, do your homework, I am a former Champion Of Honor, as a matter of fact, I've held every single title in this company.
I have defended the honor of myself, my friends, my wife and this company time and time again.
But like you said, you're a rookie, you weren't here to see what I've done, but unlike Ryan Blood, I won't make the mistake of underestimating you.
I'd advise you to think likewise.
And, Cut.
|
|
|
Post by Some Baritone guy IS REDEEMED! on Aug 20, 2012 10:18:33 GMT -5
*camera still following Antihero with clipboard
You'll find out on Niteraw like everyone else now leave me alone!
|
|
The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
|
Post by The Punisher on Aug 20, 2012 16:06:37 GMT -5
Hello everybody. Did you miss me? Well I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly.*Lights a cigar* I know what you are all thinking and that is where in the hell have I been for the past couple of months. That answer is simple: Apparently beating up random people on the streets and having sexual intercourse with female animals is frown upon in today's society.*Note: The FAWA does not reflect or condone the actions of the General of the Monkey Army. Why does he have a job still is a mystery to us.* You do not know true love until you have sex with a monkey, a kangaroo, a horse, a lioness, a dolphin, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hi General, you may not know me, but just thought I'd let you know I can get you Cubans at a very reasonable price, and trust me, true love is for donkeys, not Sarah Jessica Parker...
|
|
Jeremy Dupoe
Don Corleone
Your lack of intelligence disgusts me
Posts: 1,414
|
Post by Jeremy Dupoe on Aug 20, 2012 18:42:14 GMT -5
Hello everybody. Did you miss me? Well I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly.*Lights a cigar* I know what you are all thinking and that is where in the hell have I been for the past couple of months. That answer is simple: Apparently beating up random people on the streets and having sexual intercourse with female animals is frown upon in today's society.*Note: The FAWA does not reflect or condone the actions of the General of the Monkey Army. Why does he have a job still is a mystery to us.* You do not know true love until you have sex with a monkey, a kangaroo, a horse, a lioness, a dolphin, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well then...I now know too much about my employees...I mean I guessed the monkey thing...but Sarah Jessica Parker...too far...I'm just gonna go sacrifice a goat....to....Dagon...now. *Dupoe reaches for his book and remembers Cain still has it* Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...to the torture chambers then?*Dupoe slowly sidesteps out of frame, the sound of running is heard the second hes out of frame*
|
|
|
Post by General Adam on Aug 20, 2012 21:13:37 GMT -5
Hello everybody. Did you miss me? Well I'm back. Big as life and twice as ugly.*Lights a cigar* I know what you are all thinking and that is where in the hell have I been for the past couple of months. That answer is simple: Apparently beating up random people on the streets and having sexual intercourse with female animals is frown upon in today's society.*Note: The FAWA does not reflect or condone the actions of the General of the Monkey Army. Why does he have a job still is a mystery to us.* You do not know true love until you have sex with a monkey, a kangaroo, a horse, a lioness, a dolphin, and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hi General, you may not know me, but just thought I'd let you know I can get you Cubans at a very reasonable price, and trust me, true love is for donkeys, not Sarah Jessica Parker... Donkeys don't cuddle after you do it. And I wouldn't mind having some Cubans to tell the truth.
|
|
|
Post by Some Baritone guy IS REDEEMED! on Aug 20, 2012 21:24:44 GMT -5
Hi General, you may not know me, but just thought I'd let you know I can get you Cubans at a very reasonable price, and trust me, true love is for donkeys, not Sarah Jessica Parker... Donkeys don't cuddle after you do it. And I wouldn't mind having some Cubans to tell the truth. You know, I was trained by a Militant individual, I like you better.
|
|
|
Post by General Adam on Aug 20, 2012 21:32:16 GMT -5
Donkeys don't cuddle after you do it. And I wouldn't mind having some Cubans to tell the truth. You know, I was trained by a Militant individual, I like you better. Well....thank you my boy.
|
|
|
Post by Some Baritone guy IS REDEEMED! on Aug 22, 2012 17:32:52 GMT -5
So Freakin Awesome Invitational, who's in?
|
|
Bull Ant
AC Slater
The World's Strongest Ant
Posts: 135
|
Post by Bull Ant on Aug 22, 2012 19:00:52 GMT -5
So Freakin Awesome Invitational, who's in? You know I'm in Ghost and.... Moo: So Im I!! WOOHOO Im in another wrestling company. Its nice to meet you all Im Moo Moo, Bulls little sister. Hope to see you in the ring ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
|
|