Post by angryfan on Nov 29, 2005 15:28:28 GMT -5
Woooo's the Boss? (episode 5)
(Scene opens with the group leaving the house for a trip)
Steph: (hurrying out to the late model Ford stationwagon) Come on guys, we're going to be late
HHH: Yeah, we're coming. You want to tell us why we're doing this again?
Steph: (buckling Sledgie into the back seat, his inter-lawn belt draped across him) Because, it's good for morale and lets fellow employees know we care about them.
Flair: Wooooo!
Steph: (chuckling) Yes, Naitch, the nurses there are female.
HHH: OK, so we care, I know, but can't we, you know, send flowers? Why do we have to go to some nuthouse?
Steph: (firmly) It is NOT a nut house. (then quieter) OK, sometimes people get to used to the roles they play, right?
HHH: Sure, but...
Steph: And when they do, sometimes doctors need to help them, right? (she gets in the driver's seat, with HHH riding shotgun, and Flair and Sledgie in the back)
HHH: (closing his door) Sure.
Steph: So we're just going to go visit, and make sure they know we care. Doesn't that sound nice.
HHH: (apprehensively) I suppose, but...
Steph: No buts, and afterwards,we can go have icecream.
HHH: Baskin Robbins, right?
Steph: Sure.
(End Scene)
(Scene opens at a large medical facility. The sign out front reads "Bastion Booger State Wrestling Hospital")
HHH: I hate these places, they're so damn creepy. Not to mention they smell weird.
Steph: Quiet, people can hear you.
Flair: Woooooooo!
Steph: Yes, Naitch, there are a lot of nurses here.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: OK, you go ahead and make your "rounds", just don't cause too much trouble.
Flair; Wooooooooo! (he struts down the hall, following closely behind a red-headed nurse)
(Steph, HHH, and Sledgy head off in the opposite direction, passing a number of closed doors before coming to a large open room full of couches, several game tables, and a big screen TV. Several patients are in the room, all in wrestling gear. Most are occupying themselves with various activities, but one is standing on a three-foot ladder in the middle of the room, screaming)
Matt: THIS SCAR WILL BE A SYMBOL! MATT HARDY WILL NOT DIE!
Nursse #1: (calmly) Please step down from there Mr. Hardy, you're disrupting the other patients.
Matt: I WILL NOT DIE! MATT...HARDY...WILL...NOT...DIE!
Nurse #1: That may be, but if you stay up there, Matt Hardy also won't get any jell-o.
Matt: (almost whispered) Is it the kind with fruit in it?
Nurs #!: Yes.
Matt: it's not lime is it? BECAUSE MATT HARDY HATES LIME JELL-O.
Nurse #1: (becoming annoyed) No, it's orange,now get down from there.
(Matt screams, does his finger/gun pose, and dives off the ladder, hitting a legdrop through a nearby card table, destroying the game of chutes and ladders that was being contested).
Gooker: BAWK BAWK GOBBLE!
Mantaur: Yeah, Hardy, every time any of us sit down at one of these tables, you always destroy it. What's your problem?
(Mantaur stands up and grabs Hardy by the throat)
Nurse #2 (standing in the doorway with a walkie talkie in her hand) Security to the rec room...Yeah, it's Hardy and Mantaur again.
Secuity: (speaking over the radio in a strange, almost robotic voice) I'm on my way.
HHH: Should we do something?
Steph: I'm not sure, I say let them handle it.
(a section of wall explodes next to the TV and a large man wearing a security guard's uniform and a storm trooper helmet comes running through it. He catches his foot on the TV cord, and goes crashing into an unoccupied couch. His mask, however, flies off and drils Mantaur in the head, knocking him onconcious)
Shockmaster: Sorry...sorry, my bad. Cord caught me. (he staggers to his feet, holding a small voice changer up to his face as he talks)
Nurs #2: Yave you ever thought about, you know, using a door?
Shockmaster: No...why?
(Nurse #1 has called for a med cart to come take Hardy and Mantaur back to their respective rooms)
HHH: (to Sledgie) God, I hope I never wind up here.
(Sledgy as always, says nothing)
HHH: Right, these guys are nuts, they just couldn't handle the pressure.
Steph: Quiet, don't say things like that, someone might hear you.
HHH: Right, sorry.
(at this point, Hardy has regained conciousness, and has staggered to his feet. He notices Sledgie's belt and comes closer to examine it)
Matt: You know, I had a belt once, too. Couple of times, but then that LIAR Amy took it all away from me. I'll get her, I swer, but first, I need a belt. Need it...need it...neeeeeeeeed - (he lunges for Sledgie's inter-lawn title, but is cut off by a kick to the gut from HHH who promptly grabs him and plants him with a stiff Pedigree on an empty 'Nilla wafers box that has been left on the floor)
HHH: The hell you do, I've got a rematch clause!
Steph: (grabbing HHH and pulling him back) Hunter, what the hell are you doing?
HHH: Calming this nutcase down a few notches, someone had to.
(a loud humming of a battery-powered engine is heard from the hallway, as a golf cart, painted to look like a stock car, comes flying around the corner. The driver is in a full race suit, complete with helmet. He pulls to a stop next to the yet again unconscious Matt Hardy)
Sparky: (to the nurses) Hardy again, huh?
Both Nurses: Yeah.
Sparky: Allrighty, then. (He tosses Hardy onto the back of the cart, then drags Mantaur over and picks him up, hitting a stiff Alabama Slam with Mantaur on top of Hardy)
Sparky: If'n ya need me, you know where to find me.
(Sparky then turns the cart around and peels out, leaving the rec room at top seeed through the hole made by Shockmaster)
Nurse 2: (to HHH and Steph) Thanks for your help. Usually everything runs smooth here, but sometimes, well, you know how it is.
Steph: We sure do...(to HHH) Hey, have you seen Naitch?
HHH:...
Steph: (to nurse #2) Have you seen an older man around here, he'd be strutting a lot, and saying woo?
Nurse #2: Sure have, he was just down at the nurse's station. Take a left out the doorway and it's at the end of the hall.
Steph: Thanks.
(HHH and Steph head to the nurse's station, to find Flair, drenched in sweat and blood, strutting in place at the nurse's desk)
Steph: I see you've had fun.
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Two nurses, eh? Damn, Naitch, you are the man.
Flair: Woooooooooo!
Steph: I know, but we need to get going and...Naitch? Where are your pants?
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Ah, souveniers, of course. Well, let's get going.
(the group heads out the exit)
HHH: Shotgun!
Steph: Sorry, Hunter, Sledgie's riding shotgun on the way home.
HHH: DAMN IT!
(Scene opens with the group leaving the house for a trip)
Steph: (hurrying out to the late model Ford stationwagon) Come on guys, we're going to be late
HHH: Yeah, we're coming. You want to tell us why we're doing this again?
Steph: (buckling Sledgie into the back seat, his inter-lawn belt draped across him) Because, it's good for morale and lets fellow employees know we care about them.
Flair: Wooooo!
Steph: (chuckling) Yes, Naitch, the nurses there are female.
HHH: OK, so we care, I know, but can't we, you know, send flowers? Why do we have to go to some nuthouse?
Steph: (firmly) It is NOT a nut house. (then quieter) OK, sometimes people get to used to the roles they play, right?
HHH: Sure, but...
Steph: And when they do, sometimes doctors need to help them, right? (she gets in the driver's seat, with HHH riding shotgun, and Flair and Sledgie in the back)
HHH: (closing his door) Sure.
Steph: So we're just going to go visit, and make sure they know we care. Doesn't that sound nice.
HHH: (apprehensively) I suppose, but...
Steph: No buts, and afterwards,we can go have icecream.
HHH: Baskin Robbins, right?
Steph: Sure.
(End Scene)
(Scene opens at a large medical facility. The sign out front reads "Bastion Booger State Wrestling Hospital")
HHH: I hate these places, they're so damn creepy. Not to mention they smell weird.
Steph: Quiet, people can hear you.
Flair: Woooooooo!
Steph: Yes, Naitch, there are a lot of nurses here.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: OK, you go ahead and make your "rounds", just don't cause too much trouble.
Flair; Wooooooooo! (he struts down the hall, following closely behind a red-headed nurse)
(Steph, HHH, and Sledgy head off in the opposite direction, passing a number of closed doors before coming to a large open room full of couches, several game tables, and a big screen TV. Several patients are in the room, all in wrestling gear. Most are occupying themselves with various activities, but one is standing on a three-foot ladder in the middle of the room, screaming)
Matt: THIS SCAR WILL BE A SYMBOL! MATT HARDY WILL NOT DIE!
Nursse #1: (calmly) Please step down from there Mr. Hardy, you're disrupting the other patients.
Matt: I WILL NOT DIE! MATT...HARDY...WILL...NOT...DIE!
Nurse #1: That may be, but if you stay up there, Matt Hardy also won't get any jell-o.
Matt: (almost whispered) Is it the kind with fruit in it?
Nurs #!: Yes.
Matt: it's not lime is it? BECAUSE MATT HARDY HATES LIME JELL-O.
Nurse #1: (becoming annoyed) No, it's orange,now get down from there.
(Matt screams, does his finger/gun pose, and dives off the ladder, hitting a legdrop through a nearby card table, destroying the game of chutes and ladders that was being contested).
Gooker: BAWK BAWK GOBBLE!
Mantaur: Yeah, Hardy, every time any of us sit down at one of these tables, you always destroy it. What's your problem?
(Mantaur stands up and grabs Hardy by the throat)
Nurse #2 (standing in the doorway with a walkie talkie in her hand) Security to the rec room...Yeah, it's Hardy and Mantaur again.
Secuity: (speaking over the radio in a strange, almost robotic voice) I'm on my way.
HHH: Should we do something?
Steph: I'm not sure, I say let them handle it.
(a section of wall explodes next to the TV and a large man wearing a security guard's uniform and a storm trooper helmet comes running through it. He catches his foot on the TV cord, and goes crashing into an unoccupied couch. His mask, however, flies off and drils Mantaur in the head, knocking him onconcious)
Shockmaster: Sorry...sorry, my bad. Cord caught me. (he staggers to his feet, holding a small voice changer up to his face as he talks)
Nurs #2: Yave you ever thought about, you know, using a door?
Shockmaster: No...why?
(Nurse #1 has called for a med cart to come take Hardy and Mantaur back to their respective rooms)
HHH: (to Sledgie) God, I hope I never wind up here.
(Sledgy as always, says nothing)
HHH: Right, these guys are nuts, they just couldn't handle the pressure.
Steph: Quiet, don't say things like that, someone might hear you.
HHH: Right, sorry.
(at this point, Hardy has regained conciousness, and has staggered to his feet. He notices Sledgie's belt and comes closer to examine it)
Matt: You know, I had a belt once, too. Couple of times, but then that LIAR Amy took it all away from me. I'll get her, I swer, but first, I need a belt. Need it...need it...neeeeeeeeed - (he lunges for Sledgie's inter-lawn title, but is cut off by a kick to the gut from HHH who promptly grabs him and plants him with a stiff Pedigree on an empty 'Nilla wafers box that has been left on the floor)
HHH: The hell you do, I've got a rematch clause!
Steph: (grabbing HHH and pulling him back) Hunter, what the hell are you doing?
HHH: Calming this nutcase down a few notches, someone had to.
(a loud humming of a battery-powered engine is heard from the hallway, as a golf cart, painted to look like a stock car, comes flying around the corner. The driver is in a full race suit, complete with helmet. He pulls to a stop next to the yet again unconscious Matt Hardy)
Sparky: (to the nurses) Hardy again, huh?
Both Nurses: Yeah.
Sparky: Allrighty, then. (He tosses Hardy onto the back of the cart, then drags Mantaur over and picks him up, hitting a stiff Alabama Slam with Mantaur on top of Hardy)
Sparky: If'n ya need me, you know where to find me.
(Sparky then turns the cart around and peels out, leaving the rec room at top seeed through the hole made by Shockmaster)
Nurse 2: (to HHH and Steph) Thanks for your help. Usually everything runs smooth here, but sometimes, well, you know how it is.
Steph: We sure do...(to HHH) Hey, have you seen Naitch?
HHH:...
Steph: (to nurse #2) Have you seen an older man around here, he'd be strutting a lot, and saying woo?
Nurse #2: Sure have, he was just down at the nurse's station. Take a left out the doorway and it's at the end of the hall.
Steph: Thanks.
(HHH and Steph head to the nurse's station, to find Flair, drenched in sweat and blood, strutting in place at the nurse's desk)
Steph: I see you've had fun.
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Two nurses, eh? Damn, Naitch, you are the man.
Flair: Woooooooooo!
Steph: I know, but we need to get going and...Naitch? Where are your pants?
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Ah, souveniers, of course. Well, let's get going.
(the group heads out the exit)
HHH: Shotgun!
Steph: Sorry, Hunter, Sledgie's riding shotgun on the way home.
HHH: DAMN IT!
