Post by angryfan on Nov 27, 2005 0:27:15 GMT -5
Woooooo’s The Boss? (episode 4)
(Scene opens with the group relaxing at home thanks to a heavy snowfall)
HHH: (flipping through the TV channels) Being snowed in sucks, I can’t get to the gym, and there’s never anything good on TV.
Steph: Sure there is, give me the remote, why I bet I can….
HHH: (cutting her off) No, no way, I’m not sitting through another Designing Women marathon.
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: Right, Golden Girls would be fine. Give me Estelle Getty over Annie Potts any day.
Steph: Actually, I was going to say we could go outside.
HHH: (after thinking for a minute) You know, that might actually be fun. (looking at Sledgie who is propped up against the closet door) What do you think?
(Sledgie as always says nothing)
Steph: Good, it’s settled. Everybody bundle up and we can…
(The doorbell rings, interrupting her
(HHH gets up and opens the door to find two men holding pamphlets standing on the porch. Both are wearing white shirts and dark ties, but one has a strange black and white paint job covering his face)
HHH: Uh…can I help you?
Vince: Have you considered your eternal soul? We could come in, and I promise you, give me two hours and, with some midgets and a pole, I can really get it over.
HHH: What? Are you selling something?
Vince: Of course not, we just want to talk to you.
HHH: (looking at the silent man with the painted face, then back at Vince) Does he even talk?
Vince: Sometimes, but I’m better at it. Why?
HHH: Um, look, I’m really not interested, why don’t you go try next door?
Vince: You mean the house with the married couple and, um, that other guy?
HHH: No, the other direction, I think the guy would be real interested in you, um, getting him over.
Vince: Thanks, I appreciate the help (to his friend) Come on, let’s go.
Sting (speaking for the first time) Have a nice day.
(Vince walks across the yard towards Albert’s house, while Sting tugs on a cord attatched to a harness he is wearing and swings across the yard, landing on Albert’s front porch as Vince walks up.)
HHH: (smirking) This is going to be great.
(Vince rings the doorbell, and the door explodes into splinters as Albert steps onto the porch in a bathrobe and slippers with Scotty 2 Hotty’s face on them)
Vince: Good morning, we’d like to speak to you about…
Albert: (cutting him off) BLAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!
(Vince runs from the porch being chased by Albert. A group of security personnel jump out of Albert’s petunia bed and give chase. Sting, still on the porch, shrugs and pulls the cord and is hoisted into a circling helicopter, which flies off)
HHH: (laughing) Damn that was funny.
Steph: (walking up behind him) What did you do?
HHH: I sent those guys over to see Albert.
Steph: That was nice of you, you know how he loves to go for long runs with those nice men in his yard.
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: Huh? You say you know the guy in make up?
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: Aw man, this isn’t going to be another Ole story is it? I mean jeez, does that guy do anything besides use a voice changer?
Flari: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Oh, right, Shockmaster. Yeah, that Ole, what a genius.
Steph: Are we going to stand here all day, or are we going outside? Some of us are already ready to go. (she points to Sledgie who is still in the same spot, but now has a scarf and a pair of earmuffs shaped like Funaki on)
HHH: (to Sledgie) Nice earmuffs, more crap from cruiserweight quarterly?
(Sledgie, naturally, says nothing)
HHH: Yeah, Smack Down’s number one announcer. Right, like anybody watches Smackdown.
Flair: Wooooooooooooo!
HHH: No, why do they call it Smack Down?
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: (laughing) Cause Thunder was taken, that’s great.
Steph: You stop, my writers work hard to make Smack Down a success. Besides, I think the new guy is working out great.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: No, they don’t all wear polka dots, that’s just ridiculous. Everyone knows those don’t count as business casual. (to herself) Besides, they’d clash with the wallpaper.
(End scene)
(Scene opens with the group outside in the snow . HHH is busily making a snowman while Flair stands on the porch with a slightly worried look on his face. Steph and Sledgie are stand to the side and watch)
HHH: (finishing up his project) Hey Steph, what do you think?
Steph: It’s nice Hunter, but shouldn’t the snowman be upright?
HHH: Nah, if it was, I couldn’t do this. (he dives on top of the snowman, which is made in the shape of a person laying on their back, shoulders flat on the ground)
HHH: Count it, come on, hurry up!
(a referee comes running from across the street and dives, sliding across the yard, stopping next to HHH and his snow opponent. He makes a three count, gets up, and hands HHH a strange looking belt. He then dusts himself off, and walks back across the street. HHH stands and begins celebrating)
Steph: I see. (turning to Flair, still on the porch) Well, aren’t you going to join us?
Flair: Woooooooo! (he steps off the porch and immediately Flair flops into a snowbank)
HHH: (to Sledgie) No, it wasn’t a fast count, and I am NOT over reacting.
(Sledgie says nothing)
HHH: Look, just because you’ve never won a match, doesn’t mean you have to get jealous.
(Sledgie says nothing, but slowly begins to tip to one side)
HHH: Yeah, it is a nice belt. I am now the first ever inter-lawn champion. (he shoves a handful of snow in his mouth, poses, and spits it into the air)
(A van pulls into the driveway next door, and Charlie and Jackie get out. They are dressed as Santa and Mrs Claus)
Steph: Those costumes are great! Where’ve you guys been?
Jackie: (gushing) We went and did story time for s group of senior citizens, and then we went to the mall, and it was soooooooooooooo great.
Flair: (struggling to get out of the snowbank) Wooooooooooooooooooo!
Jackie: Really? You play Santa too?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooo!
Jackie: That’d be awesome, I’d LOVE to tell you what I want for Christmas. Do I get a candy cane or something?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Charlie: Look, would you PLEASE stop hitting on my wife.
Jackie: Oh you’re such a prude.
Rico (popping out of the van in what looks like a purple jester’s outfit) Yes, Charles, you should relax, it’s all just holiday cheer. (he reaches his hand out)
Charlie: (sighing) Whatever, I’m going inside. (he departs)
Steph: (to Rico) That’s an, um, interesting costume, are you a…um…what are you supposed to be, anyway?
Rico: I’m an elf, silly.
Steph: Uh….yeah, don’t elves wear Christmas colors, you know, Red and Green? Why purple?
Rico: Red and green…ewwwwwwww, that is soooooooo going to clash with my eyes. Besides, I loooooooooooooove purple. (he begins to dance)
Steph: Er, um, yeah. So, Jackie, what’re you guys up to?
Jackie: We’re just going to take the rest of the day off, reading to old people is tiring. (she and Rico depart, heading inside)
HHH: (walking up behind Steph) You know, this was fun, what should we do now?
Steph: I say we go inside and warm up a bit. (she picks up Sledgie, and the three of them help Flair out of the snow bank. As they pull, they lose their footing and tumble to the ground in a heep. Sledige lands on top of HHH and yet another ref runs across the street and makes a three count. He takes the belt from HHH and lays it on Sledgie, then heads back across the street).
HHH: What the hell was THAT?
Steph: (looking at the inter-lawn belt now laying on Sledgie) I think he finally won one, isn’t that wonderful?
HHH: He…won….one? He CAN’T win one.
(From some snow covered shrubs, the ghost of Big Bossman pops his head up) And that referee wasn’t supposed to be in the ringgggggggggggg. (he disappears back into the bush).
HHH: (looking slightly frightened) The hell? (he shakes his head to clear it) Yeah, what HE said.
Steph: Sorry, honey, the referee’s word is final, and if that doesn’t work, so is mine. Sledgie won, and that’s that.
HHH: But…
Steph: He won.
Monty Brown (hiding behind a nearby tree) PERIOD!
HHH: (looking from Monty to Steph) But…
Steph: (picking up Sledgie and the title belt) You can be confused as you want, it’s over, let it go.
HHH: (to sledgie) Stop gloating.
(Sledgie says nothing)
HHH: (to Steph) He's making fun of me!
Steph: (from inside) enough, come on and get in here, you’re letting the hot air out.
(From another bush, Farroq pops up)
Farooq: DAMN!
(he disappears back into the bushes)
HHH: (reaching to close the door) Shut UP, Farooq.
(he slams the door)
(End scene)
(Scene opens with the group relaxing at home thanks to a heavy snowfall)
HHH: (flipping through the TV channels) Being snowed in sucks, I can’t get to the gym, and there’s never anything good on TV.
Steph: Sure there is, give me the remote, why I bet I can….
HHH: (cutting her off) No, no way, I’m not sitting through another Designing Women marathon.
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: Right, Golden Girls would be fine. Give me Estelle Getty over Annie Potts any day.
Steph: Actually, I was going to say we could go outside.
HHH: (after thinking for a minute) You know, that might actually be fun. (looking at Sledgie who is propped up against the closet door) What do you think?
(Sledgie as always says nothing)
Steph: Good, it’s settled. Everybody bundle up and we can…
(The doorbell rings, interrupting her
(HHH gets up and opens the door to find two men holding pamphlets standing on the porch. Both are wearing white shirts and dark ties, but one has a strange black and white paint job covering his face)
HHH: Uh…can I help you?
Vince: Have you considered your eternal soul? We could come in, and I promise you, give me two hours and, with some midgets and a pole, I can really get it over.
HHH: What? Are you selling something?
Vince: Of course not, we just want to talk to you.
HHH: (looking at the silent man with the painted face, then back at Vince) Does he even talk?
Vince: Sometimes, but I’m better at it. Why?
HHH: Um, look, I’m really not interested, why don’t you go try next door?
Vince: You mean the house with the married couple and, um, that other guy?
HHH: No, the other direction, I think the guy would be real interested in you, um, getting him over.
Vince: Thanks, I appreciate the help (to his friend) Come on, let’s go.
Sting (speaking for the first time) Have a nice day.
(Vince walks across the yard towards Albert’s house, while Sting tugs on a cord attatched to a harness he is wearing and swings across the yard, landing on Albert’s front porch as Vince walks up.)
HHH: (smirking) This is going to be great.
(Vince rings the doorbell, and the door explodes into splinters as Albert steps onto the porch in a bathrobe and slippers with Scotty 2 Hotty’s face on them)
Vince: Good morning, we’d like to speak to you about…
Albert: (cutting him off) BLAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG!
(Vince runs from the porch being chased by Albert. A group of security personnel jump out of Albert’s petunia bed and give chase. Sting, still on the porch, shrugs and pulls the cord and is hoisted into a circling helicopter, which flies off)
HHH: (laughing) Damn that was funny.
Steph: (walking up behind him) What did you do?
HHH: I sent those guys over to see Albert.
Steph: That was nice of you, you know how he loves to go for long runs with those nice men in his yard.
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: Huh? You say you know the guy in make up?
Flair: Woooooooo!
HHH: Aw man, this isn’t going to be another Ole story is it? I mean jeez, does that guy do anything besides use a voice changer?
Flari: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Oh, right, Shockmaster. Yeah, that Ole, what a genius.
Steph: Are we going to stand here all day, or are we going outside? Some of us are already ready to go. (she points to Sledgie who is still in the same spot, but now has a scarf and a pair of earmuffs shaped like Funaki on)
HHH: (to Sledgie) Nice earmuffs, more crap from cruiserweight quarterly?
(Sledgie, naturally, says nothing)
HHH: Yeah, Smack Down’s number one announcer. Right, like anybody watches Smackdown.
Flair: Wooooooooooooo!
HHH: No, why do they call it Smack Down?
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooo!
HHH: (laughing) Cause Thunder was taken, that’s great.
Steph: You stop, my writers work hard to make Smack Down a success. Besides, I think the new guy is working out great.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: No, they don’t all wear polka dots, that’s just ridiculous. Everyone knows those don’t count as business casual. (to herself) Besides, they’d clash with the wallpaper.
(End scene)
(Scene opens with the group outside in the snow . HHH is busily making a snowman while Flair stands on the porch with a slightly worried look on his face. Steph and Sledgie are stand to the side and watch)
HHH: (finishing up his project) Hey Steph, what do you think?
Steph: It’s nice Hunter, but shouldn’t the snowman be upright?
HHH: Nah, if it was, I couldn’t do this. (he dives on top of the snowman, which is made in the shape of a person laying on their back, shoulders flat on the ground)
HHH: Count it, come on, hurry up!
(a referee comes running from across the street and dives, sliding across the yard, stopping next to HHH and his snow opponent. He makes a three count, gets up, and hands HHH a strange looking belt. He then dusts himself off, and walks back across the street. HHH stands and begins celebrating)
Steph: I see. (turning to Flair, still on the porch) Well, aren’t you going to join us?
Flair: Woooooooo! (he steps off the porch and immediately Flair flops into a snowbank)
HHH: (to Sledgie) No, it wasn’t a fast count, and I am NOT over reacting.
(Sledgie says nothing)
HHH: Look, just because you’ve never won a match, doesn’t mean you have to get jealous.
(Sledgie says nothing, but slowly begins to tip to one side)
HHH: Yeah, it is a nice belt. I am now the first ever inter-lawn champion. (he shoves a handful of snow in his mouth, poses, and spits it into the air)
(A van pulls into the driveway next door, and Charlie and Jackie get out. They are dressed as Santa and Mrs Claus)
Steph: Those costumes are great! Where’ve you guys been?
Jackie: (gushing) We went and did story time for s group of senior citizens, and then we went to the mall, and it was soooooooooooooo great.
Flair: (struggling to get out of the snowbank) Wooooooooooooooooooo!
Jackie: Really? You play Santa too?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooo!
Jackie: That’d be awesome, I’d LOVE to tell you what I want for Christmas. Do I get a candy cane or something?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Charlie: Look, would you PLEASE stop hitting on my wife.
Jackie: Oh you’re such a prude.
Rico (popping out of the van in what looks like a purple jester’s outfit) Yes, Charles, you should relax, it’s all just holiday cheer. (he reaches his hand out)
Charlie: (sighing) Whatever, I’m going inside. (he departs)
Steph: (to Rico) That’s an, um, interesting costume, are you a…um…what are you supposed to be, anyway?
Rico: I’m an elf, silly.
Steph: Uh….yeah, don’t elves wear Christmas colors, you know, Red and Green? Why purple?
Rico: Red and green…ewwwwwwww, that is soooooooo going to clash with my eyes. Besides, I loooooooooooooove purple. (he begins to dance)
Steph: Er, um, yeah. So, Jackie, what’re you guys up to?
Jackie: We’re just going to take the rest of the day off, reading to old people is tiring. (she and Rico depart, heading inside)
HHH: (walking up behind Steph) You know, this was fun, what should we do now?
Steph: I say we go inside and warm up a bit. (she picks up Sledgie, and the three of them help Flair out of the snow bank. As they pull, they lose their footing and tumble to the ground in a heep. Sledige lands on top of HHH and yet another ref runs across the street and makes a three count. He takes the belt from HHH and lays it on Sledgie, then heads back across the street).
HHH: What the hell was THAT?
Steph: (looking at the inter-lawn belt now laying on Sledgie) I think he finally won one, isn’t that wonderful?
HHH: He…won….one? He CAN’T win one.
(From some snow covered shrubs, the ghost of Big Bossman pops his head up) And that referee wasn’t supposed to be in the ringgggggggggggg. (he disappears back into the bush).
HHH: (looking slightly frightened) The hell? (he shakes his head to clear it) Yeah, what HE said.
Steph: Sorry, honey, the referee’s word is final, and if that doesn’t work, so is mine. Sledgie won, and that’s that.
HHH: But…
Steph: He won.
Monty Brown (hiding behind a nearby tree) PERIOD!
HHH: (looking from Monty to Steph) But…
Steph: (picking up Sledgie and the title belt) You can be confused as you want, it’s over, let it go.
HHH: (to sledgie) Stop gloating.
(Sledgie says nothing)
HHH: (to Steph) He's making fun of me!
Steph: (from inside) enough, come on and get in here, you’re letting the hot air out.
(From another bush, Farroq pops up)
Farooq: DAMN!
(he disappears back into the bushes)
HHH: (reaching to close the door) Shut UP, Farooq.
(he slams the door)
(End scene)
