Post by angryfan on Nov 18, 2005 1:08:24 GMT -5
Because I thought we could use a laugh after this week, here's the third installment.
Wooooo’s the Boss? (episode 3)
(Scene opens with the gang leaving for a “day at the office”)
HHH: Tell me again, why are we going into the office today? I’ve got things to do.
Flair: Woooo!
HHH: Oh, right, paperwork, my favorite. And why the hell do I have to wear a golf shirt? It looks terrible with my wrestling trunks.
Steph: Oh hush, you look fine. Besides, you’re the only one complaining.(she points to Sledgie, a small necktie dangling around the handle. It’s a light tan with a picture of Paul London on it).
HHH: (mumbling) suck up.
Steph: What was tthat?
HHH: Uh…I said I wish I had a tie like that
(The hammer says nothing)
HHH: Shut up, you only have it because it came with your subscription to Cruiserweight Quarterly. Why do you even need a tie?
Flair: Woooo!
HHH: He is NOT styling, profiling, and he CAN’T walk, let alone in an aisle.
Steph: (climbing into the driver’s seat of the station wagon) Hush and buckle up.
HHH: (grumbles)
(End scene)
(Scene opens with the group entering a large office area at Titan Towers)
Steph: Well, another exciting day. I have a production meeting and a writing session scheduled. What do you three have planned?
Flair: Wooooo! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Oh, right, diva search interviews. (she reaches in her purse and hands Flair several small blue pills) You’ll need these then. And remember Naitch, it’s not all about looks.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Right, posture is important, but they won’t be wrestling, what does indurance have to do with anything?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo! (immediately Flair flopping on the carpet)
Steph: And how about you, Hunter?
HHH: Figured I’d go boost morale, you know, hit the gym, that sort of thing. (looking at the hammer) What’s he going to do, write the next RAW?
Steph: (laughts) of course not, but he does have an appointment with the marketing department.
HHH:….
Steph: Oh don’t look at me like that, it’ll be cute.
HHH: (grabbing a half dozen bottles of water and heading to the elevator) Sure, whatever.
(Sledgie remains propped up by the desk to await someone from marketing. A rather unhappy pair of men pushing janitor’s mop buckets come into the room).
Paul: Look, all I’m saying is, the money is great here, I mean, yeah, I’d like to, you know, not get squashed all the time, but it could be worse, right?
Brian: Worse? How could it be any worse? This is pathetic, I mean look at us…he notices a large amount of dust on a light fixture above the receptionist’s desk) Damn it, ok, who’s turn is it to get the dust from above Holly’s desk?
Paul: Don’t look at me, last time I did it, I got a concussion.
Brian: But he’s not even in the room, there are new hires, remember? C’mon man, it’ll be easy, besides, you’re better at high places than me.
Paul: Fine, but you have to do the restrooms this time.
Brian: Deal.
(Paul climbs up onto the receptionist’s desk as Brian begins quietly chanting “please don’t die”)
Paul: Dude, you’re gonna break my concentration.
Brian: Sorry, I thought it might help.
(Paul leaps up with the dust rag and, pulling himself into a backflip, quickly wipes the dust away from the fixture, and lands on the floor)
Brian: See? I told you, you’re fine.
(The two men notice Sledgie still leaned up against the desk, thoroughly marking out)
Paul: The hell?
Brian: Can you believe this?
Paul: No, after all this time, we finally get a fan in this building. This is great.
(They walk over and look at Sledgie)
Brian: So you new here?
(Sledge, as always, is silent)
Paul: First day, oh, ok. Marketing? Dude, you’re lucky. An autograph? Sure, yeah man, that’s great.
(the two sign quick autographs, leaving them next to the hammer on the desk and depart feeling better about their day. As they leave, Edge walks into the room carrying a briefcase, and heads directly to Sledgie)
Edge: You the new guy, I take it? Well, hey, listen, I was down at the marketing department, and since they were coming out with my fourth new shirt this month, they asked if I’d drop this off to you (he produces a small t-shirt and holds it up. The front has a picture of Sledgie, and the back has the phrase “the last true swinger” in block lettering). Anyway, I’ll just leave it here for you.
(he turns to leave, but then stops)
Edge: So you’re new here, huh? You like it so far? How’s you’re personal life? You married or something?
(The hammer says nothing, but falls to the ground with a loud thump)
Edge: Man, come on, they’re just RUMORS. Damn, we’re friends with benefits, is that so wrong? Why is everybody being so damn judgemental? (he turns and storms out the door, slamming it behind him)
Steph: (emerging from her meeting) Well, that was fun. I think they should be fine with the schedule. Following the angles by numbers time and a brief snack/nap, they can finish up the ideas in an hour or two and…they came, this is great. (she walks over to sledge and looks at his new shirt) It’s perfect. (she slips the shirt on him, resting the neck area on the hammer and scooping it up).
HHH: (stepping off the elevator covered in sweat with blood smeared on his face) now THAT was a workout.
Steph: You’re bleeding, are you ok?
HHH: Of course, just a little post interview workout with Naitch. (he points to the elevator where Flair struts off)
Flair: (half his body covered in blood) Woooooooooooooo!
HHH: Damn right Wooo. We showed those rookies, eh Naitch? We really are that damn good.
Steph: Watch you’re language, the creative team can hear you.
HHH: Oh, sorry, I….what the hell is THAT?
Steph: I told you he had an appointment with marketing, isn’t it just adorable?
Flair: Wooooo.
Steph: Yep, we’re launching it with ad campaigns this week.
HHH: Wait, wait, WAIT, he got a GIMMICK? I’ve CARRIED him, and now HE’S getting a gimmick? This is insane! (to Sledgie) You’re a complete suck up, you know that? You follow me around, get your little moments, and now you get a gimmick? This isn’t fair!
Steph: Don’t be that way, you’ve had dozens of t-shirts, it’s his turn. Besides, we need to get going, we’re going to be late.
HHH: For what?
Steph: Shawn invited us to a church service tonight, he’s speaking, and I told him we’d be happy to go.
HHH: We would?
Steph: (looking at HHH seriously) Yes, Hunter, we would love to attend, don’t you agree?
HHH: (sheepishly) sure, honey, we’d love to.
Flair: Wooooooo!
Steph: Sure, Naitch, you can strut all you want, but try to keep your clothes on this time.
Flair: Wooooooooooooo!
Steph: Yeah, it might be less fun, but it’ll be less embarrassing.
(Scene ends)
(Scene opens in a church full of people. HBK in his best ring attire, stands at the pulpit)
HBK: That’s right brothers and sisters, my life has changed for the better. I’m still the show stopper, I’m still the icon that can go, but my smile is permanent, and barring any major politicking, so is my win record. Now can I get an amen?
Farooq: (standing in the back pew) DAMN!
HBK: Uh…well, I suppose that’s just as good as an amen…..(he continues speaking, as the group takes their seat in one of the back pews)
HHH: (quietly) Damn Michaels, has to bring us here, just to show how over he is. This sucks, I could be at home watching TV or eating Wendy’s, but no, I have to be here. This is pathetic.
Steph: (reaching over, she grabs HHH’s arm and sqeezes, whispering) be quiet, this is not the place or the time to complain.
HHH: Ow, hey. It wasn’t me, it was him (pointing to Sledgie)
Steph: Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm
HHH: (to Sledgie) Now see what you did?
(At the pulpit, Michaels has become more animated, and Flair begins getting into it. He stands, and begins strutting down the aisle)
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo!
Anonymous woman in the crowd: That’s right.
Flair: Wooooooooooooooo !
Man in second row: You TELL it brother
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Michaels: Go on Naitch!
Flair: (begins bleeding profusely from his earlier wounds) Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(The crowd is stunned into a hushed near silence)
Woman in front pew: Sweet Lord, it’s a miracle!
(Michaels jumps down from the pulpit and, mimicking Flair’s strut, meets him half way down the aisle.)
Flair: Wooooooooooooooo!
HBK: Woooooooooooooo!
(At that moment, Sabu comes crashing down onto the pulpit, shattering it. He stands, brushes himself off, points skyward, and calmly walks out of the church)
HBK: Amen!
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(Scene ends)
Wooooo’s the Boss? (episode 3)
(Scene opens with the gang leaving for a “day at the office”)
HHH: Tell me again, why are we going into the office today? I’ve got things to do.
Flair: Woooo!
HHH: Oh, right, paperwork, my favorite. And why the hell do I have to wear a golf shirt? It looks terrible with my wrestling trunks.
Steph: Oh hush, you look fine. Besides, you’re the only one complaining.(she points to Sledgie, a small necktie dangling around the handle. It’s a light tan with a picture of Paul London on it).
HHH: (mumbling) suck up.
Steph: What was tthat?
HHH: Uh…I said I wish I had a tie like that
(The hammer says nothing)
HHH: Shut up, you only have it because it came with your subscription to Cruiserweight Quarterly. Why do you even need a tie?
Flair: Woooo!
HHH: He is NOT styling, profiling, and he CAN’T walk, let alone in an aisle.
Steph: (climbing into the driver’s seat of the station wagon) Hush and buckle up.
HHH: (grumbles)
(End scene)
(Scene opens with the group entering a large office area at Titan Towers)
Steph: Well, another exciting day. I have a production meeting and a writing session scheduled. What do you three have planned?
Flair: Wooooo! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Oh, right, diva search interviews. (she reaches in her purse and hands Flair several small blue pills) You’ll need these then. And remember Naitch, it’s not all about looks.
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo!
Steph: Right, posture is important, but they won’t be wrestling, what does indurance have to do with anything?
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo! (immediately Flair flopping on the carpet)
Steph: And how about you, Hunter?
HHH: Figured I’d go boost morale, you know, hit the gym, that sort of thing. (looking at the hammer) What’s he going to do, write the next RAW?
Steph: (laughts) of course not, but he does have an appointment with the marketing department.
HHH:….
Steph: Oh don’t look at me like that, it’ll be cute.
HHH: (grabbing a half dozen bottles of water and heading to the elevator) Sure, whatever.
(Sledgie remains propped up by the desk to await someone from marketing. A rather unhappy pair of men pushing janitor’s mop buckets come into the room).
Paul: Look, all I’m saying is, the money is great here, I mean, yeah, I’d like to, you know, not get squashed all the time, but it could be worse, right?
Brian: Worse? How could it be any worse? This is pathetic, I mean look at us…he notices a large amount of dust on a light fixture above the receptionist’s desk) Damn it, ok, who’s turn is it to get the dust from above Holly’s desk?
Paul: Don’t look at me, last time I did it, I got a concussion.
Brian: But he’s not even in the room, there are new hires, remember? C’mon man, it’ll be easy, besides, you’re better at high places than me.
Paul: Fine, but you have to do the restrooms this time.
Brian: Deal.
(Paul climbs up onto the receptionist’s desk as Brian begins quietly chanting “please don’t die”)
Paul: Dude, you’re gonna break my concentration.
Brian: Sorry, I thought it might help.
(Paul leaps up with the dust rag and, pulling himself into a backflip, quickly wipes the dust away from the fixture, and lands on the floor)
Brian: See? I told you, you’re fine.
(The two men notice Sledgie still leaned up against the desk, thoroughly marking out)
Paul: The hell?
Brian: Can you believe this?
Paul: No, after all this time, we finally get a fan in this building. This is great.
(They walk over and look at Sledgie)
Brian: So you new here?
(Sledge, as always, is silent)
Paul: First day, oh, ok. Marketing? Dude, you’re lucky. An autograph? Sure, yeah man, that’s great.
(the two sign quick autographs, leaving them next to the hammer on the desk and depart feeling better about their day. As they leave, Edge walks into the room carrying a briefcase, and heads directly to Sledgie)
Edge: You the new guy, I take it? Well, hey, listen, I was down at the marketing department, and since they were coming out with my fourth new shirt this month, they asked if I’d drop this off to you (he produces a small t-shirt and holds it up. The front has a picture of Sledgie, and the back has the phrase “the last true swinger” in block lettering). Anyway, I’ll just leave it here for you.
(he turns to leave, but then stops)
Edge: So you’re new here, huh? You like it so far? How’s you’re personal life? You married or something?
(The hammer says nothing, but falls to the ground with a loud thump)
Edge: Man, come on, they’re just RUMORS. Damn, we’re friends with benefits, is that so wrong? Why is everybody being so damn judgemental? (he turns and storms out the door, slamming it behind him)
Steph: (emerging from her meeting) Well, that was fun. I think they should be fine with the schedule. Following the angles by numbers time and a brief snack/nap, they can finish up the ideas in an hour or two and…they came, this is great. (she walks over to sledge and looks at his new shirt) It’s perfect. (she slips the shirt on him, resting the neck area on the hammer and scooping it up).
HHH: (stepping off the elevator covered in sweat with blood smeared on his face) now THAT was a workout.
Steph: You’re bleeding, are you ok?
HHH: Of course, just a little post interview workout with Naitch. (he points to the elevator where Flair struts off)
Flair: (half his body covered in blood) Woooooooooooooo!
HHH: Damn right Wooo. We showed those rookies, eh Naitch? We really are that damn good.
Steph: Watch you’re language, the creative team can hear you.
HHH: Oh, sorry, I….what the hell is THAT?
Steph: I told you he had an appointment with marketing, isn’t it just adorable?
Flair: Wooooo.
Steph: Yep, we’re launching it with ad campaigns this week.
HHH: Wait, wait, WAIT, he got a GIMMICK? I’ve CARRIED him, and now HE’S getting a gimmick? This is insane! (to Sledgie) You’re a complete suck up, you know that? You follow me around, get your little moments, and now you get a gimmick? This isn’t fair!
Steph: Don’t be that way, you’ve had dozens of t-shirts, it’s his turn. Besides, we need to get going, we’re going to be late.
HHH: For what?
Steph: Shawn invited us to a church service tonight, he’s speaking, and I told him we’d be happy to go.
HHH: We would?
Steph: (looking at HHH seriously) Yes, Hunter, we would love to attend, don’t you agree?
HHH: (sheepishly) sure, honey, we’d love to.
Flair: Wooooooo!
Steph: Sure, Naitch, you can strut all you want, but try to keep your clothes on this time.
Flair: Wooooooooooooo!
Steph: Yeah, it might be less fun, but it’ll be less embarrassing.
(Scene ends)
(Scene opens in a church full of people. HBK in his best ring attire, stands at the pulpit)
HBK: That’s right brothers and sisters, my life has changed for the better. I’m still the show stopper, I’m still the icon that can go, but my smile is permanent, and barring any major politicking, so is my win record. Now can I get an amen?
Farooq: (standing in the back pew) DAMN!
HBK: Uh…well, I suppose that’s just as good as an amen…..(he continues speaking, as the group takes their seat in one of the back pews)
HHH: (quietly) Damn Michaels, has to bring us here, just to show how over he is. This sucks, I could be at home watching TV or eating Wendy’s, but no, I have to be here. This is pathetic.
Steph: (reaching over, she grabs HHH’s arm and sqeezes, whispering) be quiet, this is not the place or the time to complain.
HHH: Ow, hey. It wasn’t me, it was him (pointing to Sledgie)
Steph: Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm
HHH: (to Sledgie) Now see what you did?
(At the pulpit, Michaels has become more animated, and Flair begins getting into it. He stands, and begins strutting down the aisle)
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooo!
Anonymous woman in the crowd: That’s right.
Flair: Wooooooooooooooo !
Man in second row: You TELL it brother
Flair: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Michaels: Go on Naitch!
Flair: (begins bleeding profusely from his earlier wounds) Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(The crowd is stunned into a hushed near silence)
Woman in front pew: Sweet Lord, it’s a miracle!
(Michaels jumps down from the pulpit and, mimicking Flair’s strut, meets him half way down the aisle.)
Flair: Wooooooooooooooo!
HBK: Woooooooooooooo!
(At that moment, Sabu comes crashing down onto the pulpit, shattering it. He stands, brushes himself off, points skyward, and calmly walks out of the church)
HBK: Amen!
Flair: Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(Scene ends)
