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Post by "I'm Batman..." on Dec 24, 2012 0:36:59 GMT -5
I know there's always a thread about it here. I finally decided to do it. It's not too bad, it's very easy to detach. I also have actually gotten some responses. The problem is sending the second message.
I got a response in like 30 minutes, but after the second message, nothing. I think I made the mistake with talking too much about myself. Maybe I responded too soon, maybe she wasn't that interested? I don't know, so I was looking for some advice.
Thanks
There really should be a stickied thread for this.
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Post by Piccolo on Dec 24, 2012 0:45:07 GMT -5
For what it's worth, I think the key to getting someone to keep responding is to keep it all light and breezy, but put something into the message that might spark a conversation. So don't write a book, because they may feel intimidated... do they have to write as much back, respond to each point, share the same info about themselves? And don't write something too short, or that doesn't pass the conversation ball back, because that puts the onus on them to come up with something new to say to you (which some people will right away if they're conversationally adept, but some less small-talk savvy people will put it off if nothing's coming to them and then they'll never get back to it). I don't know about responding too quickly... it does surprise me when someone responds right away, but the guy I'm currently dating was like that, and I've learned to really like that about him. It's hard to say, but I'd try changing up the content of your messages first and see if that helps. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) Good luck!
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Welfare Willis
Crow T. Robot
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Posts: 44,259
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Post by Welfare Willis on Dec 24, 2012 1:20:25 GMT -5
A thing to remember is that a lot of these girls get a lot of replies in a day. So in addition to going through their normal everyday stuff they got to sit and read stuff.
Just don't focus too much on one girl. If she doesn't respond fine, move on.
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Post by "I'm Batman..." on Dec 26, 2012 13:17:38 GMT -5
I've been doing fairly well in the online dating game. A good handful of ladies have respond to at least my first message. I've read that's the hardest part. For those that have had success, how do you start to get offline? Do you ask for their number, or ask for a date after a few messages?
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Post by Bone Daddy on Dec 26, 2012 13:19:36 GMT -5
Online dating is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Period.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2012 13:50:56 GMT -5
I've been doing fairly well in the online dating game. A good handful of ladies have respond to at least my first message. I've read that's the hardest part. For those that have had success, how do you start to get offline? Do you ask for their number, or ask for a date after a few messages? I've done both actually. I usually get a few messages in and then throw my # into a random message and let her know that it's okay to text me, but if not messages are cool too. I've also suggested a date after messaging a lot of times, this is good because often she will throw her # in as well. There's really no proven method other than go with the flow and be able to read between the lines of her messages.(that doesn't mean to dissect everything that she says though)
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Post by "I'm Batman..." on Dec 26, 2012 14:53:06 GMT -5
Online dating is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Period. How so?
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Post by The Gambler Fan on Dec 26, 2012 15:50:50 GMT -5
Online dating is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Period. How so? Maybe he is like me and it is hard for him to find someone. I live in a town that the only way you can really meet a girl is at school or at a bar. My major in college was something that girls do not really get into. I also do not drink so I am never at a bar. I will never date someone I work with. Online dating allowed me to meet girls that I would have never been able to meet before.
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Post by BitterAF on Dec 26, 2012 19:21:08 GMT -5
I did Match for 3 months and had a blast with it. Luckily, I live in a fun part of Buffalo so there was things to do.
If I sent the first message, it was usually '"Hey, my name is _______," and then usually a light hearted question about something in their profile "and what hit you in the head that made a ph.d. program sound good?" ) I usually tried to focus on something that they briefly stated and have fun with that though some don't give you much to go off of.
As far as dates/numbers, I would ask for a number after 3-5 days. I would only go on in the morning and before bed, so no more than. Two messages a day from me. I would text a few times a day. Id set up a date over phone/text at least two days ahead of time ahead of time. All but two girls were not nuts. I went out with some six girls over the three months and went out with two quite a few time.
Everyone or most everyone is looking for a relationship so I never asked about that stuff until she seemed like a girl that id want to go out wither even on the first date. Use email and text to get to know them and use some humor. Just don't have the same boring convo with every girl. If you find yours response boring, im sure does too.
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Post by BitterAF on Dec 26, 2012 19:25:04 GMT -5
Also, just because this is another avenue for dating doesn't mean you'll find the "one" on the first email or at all. Just have fun and be optimistic. If not you're setting yourself up for failure and you will constantly bye on the site seeing if this guy/girl emailed you back or who has viewed me in the last five minutes.
Typing a mobile browser sucks for this board
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Post by "I'm Batman..." on Dec 27, 2012 1:48:37 GMT -5
Also, just because this is another avenue for dating doesn't mean you'll find the "one" on the first email or at all. Just have fun and be optimistic. If not you're setting yourself up for failure and you will constantly bye on the site seeing if this guy/girl emailed you back or who has viewed me in the last five minutes. Typing a mobile browser sucks for this board Oh, I am enjoying it quit a bit. I didn't think I would ever do it. I must've messaged 100 girls, maybe a dozen responded, I am actually going back and forth with one right now. Quite a few will check me out (view my profile). What I am really hoping for is honing my skills for the real world. If I get to go out on a few date in the process even better.
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Post by lewis1711 on Dec 27, 2012 12:13:21 GMT -5
I've only ever come across fat women, women with children, or fat women with children. What a waste of time - I can get those IRL.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2012 12:46:51 GMT -5
I only use it for sexual hook ups...POF is great for that in the Illinois/Indiana area
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Bam Neeley
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Post by Bam Neeley on Dec 27, 2012 16:20:04 GMT -5
Did you write "I'm Batman" on your bio? Cos you totally should.
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TheDieselTrain
Fry's dog Seymour
Chicks Dig Hootie.
Is Stone Cold gonna have to smack a bitch?? WHAT!!!?????
Posts: 23,724
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Post by TheDieselTrain on Dec 27, 2012 17:17:40 GMT -5
So i've got a funny story...(funny to me anyways)
So this girl on POF emails me out of the blue today and says get back at me if you want to chat. I don't because she's not really my type (bbw , has children, & only has one picture on top of that) So she writes me again asking me why I'm not responding to her. Even on her profile it says email me if you're interested. I clearly didn't so clearly i'm not interested.
She then writes me again saying good luck its your loss and adds I see your not the type to get to know someone. So then I respond to her asking her to humor me saying what is it that i'm missing out on? She doesn't answer and so I go to ask her why she isn't answering me and it turns out she has now blocked me..
Okie dokie. I think i'm gonna cry myself to bed tonight.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 27, 2012 17:39:13 GMT -5
I only use it for sexual hook ups...POF is great for that in the Illinois/Indiana area Well, looks like I found my vacation destination ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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Post by Can you afford to pay me, Gah on Dec 27, 2012 21:14:06 GMT -5
I don't know what it is with me. I hardly get responses to anybody I message. I've tried a lot of the said advices for the last now been a year that I used OK Cupid and POF. POF just been a dead end for me. One person I got passed a first message. We got to the point of phone convos and she basicly became a waste of a month. As she never could answer the simple questions and flaked out when I tried to set up a date.
OkCupid a little better. I meet in person two people. One I didn't get the collection in person. The other she kind disappeared on me. She got sick and then never respond when I ask how she was doing. I'm doing something wrong or maybe I'm just that ugly to others. Lately I haven't been on either site.
Since I've spend a lot of time with a female friend who is my date for New Years. If I'm lucky maybe something more could come out of it.
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Juice
El Dandy
Wrong? Oh he can tell ya about being wrong.
I'm the one who raised you from perdition.
Posts: 8,172
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Post by Juice on Dec 28, 2012 0:07:49 GMT -5
1) online dating is the shit now. 2) I got most of the tail I have gotten because of online dating. 3) I met my wife as a result of number 2. 4) I always talked about tattoos. Course that's something I am into, attracted to and covered in them myself. But finding the one thing to keep a conversation going long enough to get to the next step is key. Be it tattoos or movies etc.
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Post by Andrew is Good on Dec 28, 2012 0:14:15 GMT -5
Online dating is probably the only way I can meet girls, because I'm too shy. Plus, when I'm at work, generally people end up liking me as a friend, and because it's work, I don't want to ask people out WHILE at work, as I don't think it's the most appropriate thing to do. But then again, if I lose my morals, I could have a chance. That, and there aren't that many women who work construction.
I'm not in school, and most of my female friends from school are just friends. I've tried talking to women at bars, but again, I'm really shy. The only way I can avoid my shyness is drinking a lot, but then my tact is out the window. So online dating is easy. However, for people who are just socially awkward, nothing can help. The last girl I dated loved the fact that I was so awkward, she got great enjoyment out of it. I'm gonna be going on a second date with someone soon, I think anyway, haha. She still responds when I text at least.
So, on the bright side, I've learned to accept my quirkiness and my awkwardness as something that could be potentially novel and cute.
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Post by "I'm Batman..." on Dec 28, 2012 15:52:15 GMT -5
I just asked a girl out without asking her name. Ha ha. I was signing my e-mails with my name. She told what her name was, said this month was busy for her. Then gave me her number and said let's chat.
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