Vince Russo rebooks nursery rhymes and fairy tales

[ronnie2hotty]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Because....

A hidden camera revealed that the king actually pushed Humpty off the wall. One of the king's men then shoots on the king revealing that the horses paid off the king because the king is not the king, but... SWERVE!!.. one of the king's men. A random horse who showed up after the fall is..SWERVE!!!.. actually king. Then, the king's horses and and all the king's men have a Humpty on a pole battle royal, which is won by....SWERVE!!!...the wall who wans't even in the match.

All of this takes place in the first paragraph of a 25 page book (or first segment of a 2 hour Raw/Nitro/Impact.. depending on which medium you take it).

[Deleted]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a pole...

[Hit Girl]

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a bucket of water, but Jill turned heel on Jack, threw the water in his face, and is now dating David Flair.

[Push R Truth]

Twinkle twinkle low-mid carder
No push 'til you work much harder
Soon you'll get a title shot
Your efforts will not be for naught

Woo woo woo we've heard before
You'll try to date a dirty whore
Your friend will stab you in the back
Title shots you'll surely lack

Here comes a push I sure do promise
Please don't be a doubting Thomas
Wrestle Kane to im-press the tramp
Hey nice wheelchair, look out for that ramp!

Twinkle twinkle little jobber
You're the perfect douche to clobber.

[TheDarkestKnight]

Jan 10, 2013 8:57:00 GMT -5 Push R Truth said:

Twinkle twinkle low-mid carder
No push 'til you work much harder
Soon you'll get a title shot
Your efforts will not be for naught

Woo woo woo we've heard before
You'll try to date a dirty whore
Your friend will stab you in the back
Title shots you'll surely lack

Here comes a push I sure do promise
Please don't be a doubting Thomas
Wrestle Kane to im-press the tramp
Hey nice wheelchair, look out for that ramp!

Twinkle twinkle little jobber
You're the perfect douche to clobber.

Loved the last two lines . Those really do stand out. The rest is great as well, but those two lines made me burst out laughing.

[Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!!]

the Big Bad Wolf chases Little Red Riding Hood out of the house and *music plays* here comes the woodsman with a hatchet but SWERVE Little Red Riding Hood kicks him in the nuts and the Wolf eats him. then she says she's pregnant with the wolf's monster-babies. then Gramma shows up and reveals SWERVE the Wolf didn't eat her, she tricked him into eating a Realdoll sex-toy that was shaped like her. this wrestlemania it's Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf vs. The Woodsman and Gramma in a Picnic basket on a Pole match.