Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2013 19:21:51 GMT -5
My older brother has been living here with me and parents for around 4-5 months now after a personal matter happened (you can probably guess what happened) and long story short, he finally just got a new job offer. An offer that's going to move him about an hour away from here.
Here's the thing. He wants me to move in with him.
For 26 years (well, 26 tomorrow), I've been living off kind of the teat of this house and my parents and everything that has to regard that, and...to move out finally, is a rather huge responsibility. A thing where I would have to add "responsibilities" to my daily life.
Sure, I'd be closer to my friends, closer to where most good wrestling is at in Pennsylvania, and I wouldn't have such a chain with my parents, but...I honestly like the bubble I'm in. I am completely afraid to leave the bubble because I'm afraid that life will completely eat me up. And I don't want that. After dealing with the ex for 8 months, I finally find somebody who means the world to me, and I'm happy and...I don't want to be taken away from the fact that I have to become a "slave" to the world. Does everybody understand that?
Luckily, I don't have to make the decision right away. I got time. But I would love some advice on this to help calm my nerves. How or what should I do?
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domrep
Hank Scorpio
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Post by domrep on Jan 22, 2013 19:32:53 GMT -5
I would move man. Eventually you have to leave the bubble. I've been there so I know what it's like, but at some point I told myself I had to do it, and I did and I haven't looked back. It's a huge risk for sure, because you're essentially on your own, but if you don't do it now, when will you do it?
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Post by Piccolo on Jan 22, 2013 19:39:55 GMT -5
You have to be an adult sometime, and you have to let your parents live their own lives, too. They can't be expected to take care of you forever; it's not fair to them. Take your brother's offer.
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JDviant
Unicron
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Post by JDviant on Jan 22, 2013 19:42:52 GMT -5
Always nice to have an adventure while you're still young and not tied down.
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Yami Daimao
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Post by Yami Daimao on Jan 22, 2013 19:46:26 GMT -5
I completely understand the bubble theory. I'm sort of in the same situation as you, except I'm 24 (since 2 weeks ago), I have no job (currently waiting for a call to work for the city in public works, they say they're unable to hire me, or anyone for that matter, due to money since Hurricane Sandy, but they're definitely interested), and no girlfriend. I feel somewhat comfortable still living with my parents, especially since I help take care of my mother who is going through her 2nd round of cancer treatments. They don't treat me like shit, so it's not like they're driving me away out of frustration. However, I feel like I need to move on with my life and be on my own. Being under the care of your parents can only last so long, because before you know it, they're gonna be gone, and you won't know what to do. The first chance I get financially, I'm moving out (that is if they, more specifically my mother, absolutely NEED me, then that's gonna have to be put on a hold until then).
I think that's something you should really consider. I feel living with your parents for so long can have a negative effect on you in the future. Think about it like this; you're 26, in just 4 more years, you'll be 30. THIRTY. You know how fast 4 years go by? The last 4 years went by like a damn breeze.
However, I live my life through a motto my good friend once said to me a couple of years ago, "Do what makes you happy". If you're TRULY happy and comfortable with where you are, and your parents, girlfriend, and your friends support your happiness, then by all means.
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domrep
Hank Scorpio
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Post by domrep on Jan 22, 2013 20:11:47 GMT -5
I completely understand the bubble theory. I'm sort of in the same situation as you, except I'm 24 (since 2 weeks ago), I have no job (currently waiting for a call to work for the city in public works, they say they're unable to hire me, or anyone for that matter, due to money since Hurricane Sandy, but they're definitely interested), and no girlfriend. I feel somewhat comfortable still living with my parents, especially since I help take care of my mother who is going through her 2nd round of cancer treatments. They don't treat me like s***, so it's not like they're driving me away out of frustration. However, I feel like I need to move on with my life and be on my own. Being under the care of your parents can only last so long, because before you know it, they're gonna be gone, and you won't know what to do. The first chance I get financially, I'm moving out (that is if they, more specifically my mother, absolutely NEED me, then that's gonna have to be put on a hold until then). I think that's something you should really consider. I feel living with your parents for so long can have a negative effect on you in the future. Think about it like this; you're 26, in just 4 more years, you'll be 30. THIRTY. You know how fast 4 years go by? The last 4 years went by like a damn breeze. However, I live my life through a motto my good friend once said to me a couple of years ago, "Do what makes you happy". If you're TRULY happy and comfortable with where you are, and your parents, girlfriend, and your friends support your happiness, then by all means. Sometimes being comfortable can be a bad thing. |
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Mac
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Post by Mac on Jan 22, 2013 21:41:19 GMT -5
Youre 26 year old, you should really move out and this sounds like a hell of an oppertunity to get yourself out in the "real world" Living with your brother is a good way to start. I felt embarassed to be 22 and still living with my parents.
I think this will be a great growing experience for you
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Jan 22, 2013 21:46:25 GMT -5
if I were you I'd jump on the opportunity. I can identify, I'm 26 and still live at home too. I can't afford to live on my own and it's nice to live in the bubble. but if given the opportunity I'd rather live on my own.
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Post by mjolnir on Jan 22, 2013 21:49:21 GMT -5
You only live once.
And, sometimes as comfortable as something can be, sticking to it can keep you from different experiences and something that is more fulfilling for you. Not necessarily straight up better, as I think such things are subjective and it's dependent on the person, each person is different afterall. But you'll never know in life what you truly desire till you get outside your box and try things that aren't apart of what's your comfort zone.
It's better to make a mistake than stifling yourself and your growth as a person.
Also, you're still relatively young, it's best to do it now. When setbacks and potential hiccups can still be mended in time and taken care of. As someone else said, four years goes by fast, and you're better off trying it now, than trying to do it then or later or regretting that you were never able to further on down the line.
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jagilki
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Post by jagilki on Jan 22, 2013 22:18:13 GMT -5
Not making too much light of the situation, but....
I'm eagerly awaiting the Supersweet parody thread where his ass is thinking of moving out on him.
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Post by Lord Bendtner on Jan 22, 2013 22:36:21 GMT -5
I moved from the UK to the US 4 years ago to be with my now wife, and it's a decision I definitely do not regret. Moving away from my parents was the best thing that ever happened to me, and to our relationship. I generally had a very hard time getting on with my parents when I lived with them. But now I'm a few thousand miles away, and I'm not pissing them off as much, we get on a lot better. I obviously have no idea what your relationship is with your parents, but I'm sure the relationship will be a little less tense as you won't be in their living quarters all the time.
In the end, it's really all about how you feel about it. If you feel ready, then do it. If you feel like you need more time, take more time. It's definitely a huge eye-opener to live away from parents. So many more things to worry about. I hope whatever you decide works out. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure your parents would gladly have you back. My advice - give it a try.
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Post by Danimal on Jan 23, 2013 0:21:43 GMT -5
Time to act like an adult, even if it does require leaving what is comfortable. Living with your brother should be a nice segue, will have some familiarity and you won't have to foot all the bills on your own. You'll get acclimated to the change and be glad you did it.
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Post by Shy Guy on Jan 23, 2013 9:31:47 GMT -5
move out
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Jan 23, 2013 9:44:28 GMT -5
just one thing I'd like to say though, it's REALLY condescending of some of you to suggest that people still living at home are inherently "childish". given economic realities, a lot of people simply can't afford to live on their own, as much as they'd like to.
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domrep
Hank Scorpio
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Post by domrep on Jan 23, 2013 12:19:25 GMT -5
just one thing I'd like to say though, it's REALLY condescending of some of you to suggest that people still living at home are inherently "childish". given economic realities, a lot of people simply can't afford to live on their own, as much as they'd like to. There's a difference between having financial issues and being comfortable staying in the bubble. In this case, it's the latter, which is a huge difference. It sounds like he can do it but it's just a matter of leaving the nest and being on your own. |
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