Women objecting to women dressing sexy

[Sephiroth]

Probably opening a can of worms here, but after the other thread I am actually curios for feedback. You would not guess it based on my sig, but I do share concerns about the objectification of women in our society. But it does feel to me like there are those who are a little too sensitive on the matter. Case in point; in our rare tweet exchanges, Melodie once told me that she has had women and men accuse her of being a poor role model or of having no respect for herself because she does web modeling. I certainly understand objecting to the idea that women should be judged based purely on looks, but is it honestly a crime for a woman who has it to flaunt it now and then?

[Lila]

It's a lost cause to understand this phenominon(sp?). Dress however you want, but be aware of that certain garments will attract certain responses.

[Shy Guy]

if your boobs are out, i'm gonna look at them. thats just how it is. sorry ladies.

[wrestleauthor]

I have more important issues to think about. People will probably stare no matter what someone is wearing.

[dlg3000]

Feb 14, 2013 20:59:59 GMT -5 Lila said:

It's a lost cause to understand this phenominon(sp?). Dress however you want, but be aware of that certain garments will attract certain responses.

agreed.

[agent817]

I had a discussion with a female classmate about something similar to this. I took a class on Race and Gender in the Media last fall and this woman was in this class with me. She is an older lady and I mentioned to her an opinion article I wrote for the college newspaper about Bikini Basketball and Lingerie Football. The point of my article is that these women made the choice to partake in these sports. My main argument was women's beach volleyball and how the female athletes wear bikinis and that the women involved don't have a problem with what they wear.

She tried to play devil's advocate with me and she even told me that prior to taking that class, she wasn't familiar with beach volleyball (She told me that she doesn't really watch TV, even though the Fall semester wasn't too far off from the Summer Olympics). I explained to her that it is a legitimate sport and it's legit enough to be an Olympic event and that the women are not objectified. When she played devil's advocate with me, she had mentioned some of the stuff we learned in the race and gender class about how women are objectified everywhere and that some still present themselves as sex objects despite not wanting to be. I tried to tell her that if these women didn't want to be objectified, then they wouldn't be doing anything like that. Same goes for beach volleyball. The female athletes actually choose to wear them. If they are uncomfortable, they can always wear a shirt and some do wear shirts, too.

I also talked about my article with a couple of female friends and they actually agreed with my point on my article. One friend said that if women wear skimpy cheerleader outfits, carry a round card in a boxing match wearing a bikini or partake in "degrading" sports, then they are bringing their "inner attention whore." Another friend said that people just bitch about some things even when someone chooses to dress a certain way.

[Bob Schlapowitz]

Feb 14, 2013 21:04:04 GMT -5 Shy Guy said:

if your boobs are out, i'm gonna look at them. thats just how it is. sorry ladies.

Legs, too.

[Piccolo]

I wouldn't judge anyone for doing anything because they enjoyed doing it. I'm also going to say, in general, that many women have internalized sexism. It's not that anyone's a bad person... men and women are both getting it from socialization, prevalence of the male gaze, etc. (Case in point, I made a statement once during an election season about the sex appeal of two male candidates. I got a lot of confused responses on fb from both men and women, despite the fact that some years earlier, the sex appeal of a female candidate had been all anyone could talk about. I have a lot of friends who talk about their crushes on male candidates, in terms of his awesomeness or his demeanor or his politics, but very few who discuss male bodies with the level of familiarity a woman's body gets, divorced from his views or his intellect or anything else... treating him as an agency-free object. Hence, the post was a bit controversial... we're not particularly accustomed to treating accomplished men that way.)

Anyway, when a woman seeks out attention from nude modeling or porn, I figure she's got any number of reasons for doing it, only some of which are socially problematic. If she's doing it because it's fun or it's part of her sexuality, woohoo! More power to her. If she's doing it because it's an easy way to get cash, woohoo! Make that money. If she's doing it because it's the only way she feels noticeable or worthwhile, that's a problem. If she's doing it because male sexual attention has been portrayed in our media as what women should strive for more than anything else, that's a problem. But those things wouldn't make me judge her, either... I'd just feel for her as a fellow sister struggling to find her way.

I understand the sensitivity to it, though, because the female gaze is, although gaining traction, still underutilized compared to the male gaze, so objectification of women still may feel like a sore spot to some. But the only way to really counteract that is to get more of the female gaze into media and social consciousness, and that's going to take a while.

[Danimal]

I think objectification is an overused term. It is stimulus and response folks, simple as that. For a man looking, and even a little starig, is just a natural reaction. Don't give me all this objectification and disrespect arch-feminist stuff over looks which are just a normal response. Yes over totally unacceptable behavior like grabbing, lewd comments/gestures, or acting like a total creeper but not looks. Tight and/or revealing clothing provides a stimulus,and you should just accept that if you wear it, man or woman. Back in my clubbing days I had a good build, wore stuff that showed it, and it got attention. Some attention was from women(and also a few guys) I had no interest in. I wasn't offended, I recognized that it came with the territory.

That said, saying that one should accept that what they wear can draw attention is MUCH different than saying it's OK to judge or treat somebody differently for what they wear, that isn't right for men or women. They aren't "dressed slutty", "asking for it", or "selling themselves". It is just plain old stereotyping and cognitive laziness. You don't know that person or their reasons for wearing what they do. Get to know somebody for who they are not what they wear and try to treat everybody with respect.