Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jun 14, 2013 20:02:14 GMT -5
Night One ReportWelcome back to the Tokyo Dome in beautiful Tokyo, Japan, I'm Hawk Jefferson and this is Night One of the Big Japan Pro-Wrestling promoted FAN King of the Deathmatch tournament. The first afternoon had a lot of wild action and even a few upsets. Who would've thought that halfway through Round One Bruno Sammartino and Sting would be farther along than Necro Butcher or Jon Moxley? Some of the match-ups tonight are sure to be classics so let's head to ringside after a word from our sponsors.
Night One is brought to you in part by Lost Almond Candy Company. At Lost Almond we use only the finest in artifical nuts and nut flavoring to give those with nut allergies the most realistic candy bar experience on the market. Jushin "Thunder" Liger vs Daniel Bryan Nobody expected a Match of the Year Candidate to be in the first round of this tournament but Jushin Liger and Daniel Bryan put one of the finest matches the Tokyo Dome has ever seen. Clocking in at 30:42, the Liger and the Dragon laid it all on the line to the amazement of those in attendance. In a technical classic that saw no weapons used but either man, not even a Flying Headbutt from the top could get Bryan the victory though as Liger rallied late before scoring with a Brainbuster for the fall. KENTA vs Curry Man Despite surprisingly being in control for the early portions of the bout, Curry Man couldn't hold it together to overcome KENTA and fell victim to the Go to Sleep in 20:03. Phantasio vs Tiger Mask II Tonight, Tiger Mask II attempted to answer the question, "If you beat a mime with a barbed wire bat, will he make a noise?" and the answer is no but that didn't stop him from trying over and over again. After 10:37 the assault was over with a Tiger Driver. Randy Savage vs Chris Hero The Macho Man looked at home in the cage but he couldn't overcome the fighting fury of that Young Knockout Kid. After 17:10 of brutal brawling Hero dropped Savage to the mat with powerbomb for the three count. Matt Sydal vs the Ultimate Warrior In the bloodiest affair thus far in Round One, Matt Sydal but up one hell of a fight against the Ultimate Warrior even busting the Warrior open early on. A last minute running powerslam helped the Warrior into the second round in 14:45. Kane vs Christian Cage The Instant Classic brought us the Instant Upset in round one after enduring a beating from the Devil's Favorite Demon he still managed to pull off the victory with an Unprettier in 15:04. Austin Aries vs Hulk Hogan Immortatility trumps being the Greatest Man Who Ever Lived here in the Tokyo as the Hulkster was able to overcome the Vascular Vegan in 15:40 after a Big Boot. Rhino vs Nick Bockwinkle The King of the Old School was a bit too much for the Man Beast from Detroit to handle despite a few Gores and some brutal chairshots. In the end, Bockwinkle scored a Flying Rolling Pin after Rhino missed a Gore in 16:29 And that's Round One in the history books. We've seen a lot of great match-ups and it only promises to improve in Round Two. Before we leave you tonight I'd like to throw it to referee Black Dragon for his expert opinion on today's action."Why am I the ref?!" Thanks for that Dragon. We'll leave you with a word from our sponsors. Tough stains giving you headaches? Can't get the blood out of your favorite shirt? Blud B Gone is for you! Buy some online today and enter the code "Deathmatch" for your discount.
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Jun 14, 2013 20:07:32 GMT -5
And just as I said, Chris Hero does it again. Now it doesn't matter who I face next round, because whoever they are, they're in for a Hero's Welcome.
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jun 14, 2013 21:32:44 GMT -5
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jun 15, 2013 17:00:19 GMT -5
TOKYO, JAPAN - June 15, 2013 - ROUND TWO STARTS TODAY...WHENEVER HAWK SHOWS UP.
A group outing to Ribera Steakhouse last night turned into possible tragedy as FAN Tournament host Hawk Jefferson is now lost somewhere in Tokyo. Hawk was last seen outside of the Drop Kick bar with round one competitor Austin Aries along with Chrises Hero and Jericho. Aries, Hero, and Jericho all claim Jefferson disappeared into a limo he commandeered with at least five women. The last contact was him was a voicemail left on the phone of John Cena of all people, the text of which can be found underneath. BJW and FAN officials have organized a search group but it could be hours before he turns up.
Jefferson's voicemail for John Cena: "Jawwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Dude! I dunno how to tell you this but I think I stole your limo. If this isn't your limo then I stole someone's limo. I definitely have your wallet. If you don't want me to use your credit cards tonight I need you answer right now because I've got myself in deep to some bad people...thanks John, you're a real pal!"
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Big Bad Brad
Wade Wilson
Big Bad Brad
Tournament Master
Posts: 27,407
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Post by Big Bad Brad on Jun 15, 2013 17:49:38 GMT -5
Nick Bockwinkle VS Hulk Hogan - Age in the Cage
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jun 15, 2013 19:42:55 GMT -5
Afternoon Two Report Welcome everyone to afternoon two of this BJW presented FAN King of the Deathmatch tournament, I'm Hawk Jefferson and even though I was running a bit late I still have my thumbs so HA! As usual we have a great card for you today but before we get to that, we gotta pay the bills.
The Black Dragon Children's Fund is honored to support the King of the Deathmatch tournament. For only $10 a month you too can make sure an underprivileged child can own a wrestling mask. Please give soon.
Mike Awesome vs Bruno Sammartino In one of the more impressive slugfests we've seen thus far, the Gladiator and the Strongman beat each other senseless inside the steel cage but in the end it was Mike Awesome hitting a top rope splash that brought an end to this one in 18:20.
Batista vs The Undertaker In a first ever(?) Wrestlemania re-match inside the Tokyo Dome, the Animal and the Deadman went to war. Both men used the weapons littering the ring and even the cage itself to batter one another into bloody heaps. It was a well timed chokeslam counter into a Batista Bomb on a steel chair that secured the victory for Batista in 13:45.
John Cena vs Sting Can you say "Dream Match"? The Face of the WWE taking on the Hero of WCW in the Tokyo Dome nearly blew the roof off the building. Both men reached deep into their arsenal to move one step closer to the title of King of the Deathmatch but only one Icon stood tall at the end. Despite the best efforts of the Cenation Leader, the Stinger held on and dug deep to win with a Scorpion Death Drop in 29:45.
Raven vs H From one iconic promotional war to another, the former ECW cultist Raven and FMW staple H did battle not just to advance but to determine the superior blood and guts brand. Raven's more methodical pace worked early to slow down the much quicker opponent but once H took the skies Raven turned to his brawling to try and ensure a win. H's high flying assault was able to overcome the plunder style of Raven to win with a Screw High Kick in 19:35.
Jushin "Thunder" Liger vs KENTA In what can only be considered one of the greatest matches in other man's career KENTA and Jushin "Thunder" Liger stole the show with a forty-five minute spectacle that had to been seen to be believed. Both men threw everything they had at their opponent to walk out victorious, each hitting their finishing moves multiple times but a Liger Bomb proved to make the difference in this encounter as Jushin Liger moves on to round three.
Tiger Mask II vs Chris Hero Who says a caged Tiger isn't deadly? Despite the best efforts of That Young Knock-Out Kid to put the savage Tiger down he fell victim to a Tiger Driver in 19:02.
Ultimate Warrior vs Christian Cage Despite upsetting the Big Red Monster in the first round, the Man from Parts Unknown proved to be too much for Captian Charisma. The Warrior took it to the Instant Classic early and didn't let up for a second, winning with a One-Handed Backbreaker in just 10:04.
Hulk Hogan vs Nick Bockwinkle The AWA Age in the Cage round two finale went about the way you'd expect, slowly. Both men traded the advantage back and forth but the Hulkster's Big Boot and Atomic Leg Drop proved to be enough to move on to the third round after 14:45.
And that brings us to the halfway point in our tournament. Lots of big names have advanced to this point along with a lot of surprises. It only gets more intense from here folks, like a high dollar backroom Pai Gow game with the Yakuza intense as round three starts the Barbed Wire matches and you do not want to miss that. Until then, I'm Hawk Jefferson.
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Big Bad Brad
Wade Wilson
Big Bad Brad
Tournament Master
Posts: 27,407
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Post by Big Bad Brad on Jun 15, 2013 20:08:43 GMT -5
Awesome both my guys advanced!
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Post by The Legend on Jun 15, 2013 21:01:58 GMT -5
BOOOOO f*** you Hogan... :/
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Jun 15, 2013 21:05:27 GMT -5
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A pox on you Tiger Mask II.
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Post by Wolf Hurricane on Jun 15, 2013 21:07:01 GMT -5
I don't know what'd be more of a must see; Cena/Sting, H/Raven, or Kenta/Liger?
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jun 16, 2013 2:02:03 GMT -5
Night Two Report Welcome everyone to Night Two of the FAN King of the Deathmatch, I'm Hawk Jefferson and tonight we have some really great action for you. After two brutal rounds we move from the cage to the barbed wire. For those unfamiliar, we're getting rid of the ropes and replacing them with electrified barbed wire. After thirty minutes the ring will explode and if either man can survive the explosion they truly deserve to move on. We had some sponsors lined up but Nick Bockwinkle said some pretty horrible things and they pulled out so let's get to the action.
Mike Awesome vs Batista In a match-up of two brawlers, either man could make a legitimate claim to victory. Both men were bloodied and beaten by the end of this battle that was ended with a Batista Bomb in 14:14.
H vs Sting H has made it this far in the tournament by overwhelming his opponents with a fast paced and high flying offense, how well did he cope when that was taken away? Not very. Despite putting in a strong effort early on, the Stinger was able to wear H down enough to get a submission victory in 14:12
Jushin "Thunder" Liger vs Tiger Mask II After putting together a few clinics in early rounds, Liger ended this battle of the ultimate predators a bit tired. It showed as he never really gained momentum against Tiger until Tiger Mask knocked him out with a right hand in 10:12.
The Ultimate Warrior vs Hollywood Hogan This was a bumper match nearly twenty five years in the making, who stands supreme in the Hogan/Warrior trilogy? Neither man does actually, they were the only two to make it until the explosion which lead to a double knockout in 30:00.
And that's gonna do it for us here in the Tokyo Dome this evening. Tiger Mask gets a bye through to the finals after that "explosive" finish to the main event. I'm aware of how lame that was but it works. We'll be back tomorrow afternoon for the finale of this tournament, until then I'm Hawk Jefferson and we need some sponsors.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,411
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jun 16, 2013 2:04:48 GMT -5
Damn you Batista!
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DragonMasterP
King Koopa
Wait, I turned 30? How'd that happen?
Posts: 11,989
Member is Online
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Post by DragonMasterP on Jun 16, 2013 2:52:57 GMT -5
Oh dear, another shot in the finals. Hopefully I don't blow a second straight, Buffalo Bills style.
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Big Bad Brad
Wade Wilson
Big Bad Brad
Tournament Master
Posts: 27,407
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Post by Big Bad Brad on Jun 16, 2013 5:23:06 GMT -5
Damn I'm so close to winning this.
Stupid Hogan get KO'd by the explosion at least he took Warrior down with him!
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jun 19, 2013 14:16:29 GMT -5
Sorry this is late, I've been really busy this week. Grand Finale ReportWelcome everyone to this, the thrilling conclusion of the BJW presented FAN King of the Deathmatch. We had a couple of days off to allow the final three competitors some time to heal following an absolutely brutal and bloodsoaked round. Tiger Mask II is luckiest man in the world as he has a bye to the final round following the exciting finish of the Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior match but before he can claim victory, he has to get past either "the Icon" Sting or "the Animal" Batista. Let's get down to ringside for the finale.In one of the bigger clashes in style we've seen thus far, the Man Known as Sting threw his best at Batista, dropping him several times with Scorpion Death Drops but never securing the pin. Finally, it looked like the Animal was going to submit to a Scorpion Deathlock but it was not to be as he powered out and put the Stinger on the mat for the 1-2-3 following a Jackhammer on a steel chair at 16:34. Did anyone see that coming? Sting has beaten some very tough opponents on the road to the semi-finals but he's not destined to become King of the Deathmatch. In the finals we're going to see Tiger Mask II vs Batista in a Landmine Deathmatch. Let's get to the action.Tiger Mask II tried early on to prove that he was not only the King of the Deathmatch but also the King of the Jungle, taking it to the Animal with a barrage of stiff punches, kicks, and weapon shots. Not even the explosive barbed wire boards were enough to ground Batista as he rallied late in the match to score a Batista Bomb for the victory in 18:05. And that's the end everybody, we started with 32 competitors from all over the world attempting to murder each other and now one man stands tall, the "Animal" Batista is your 2013 King of the Deathmatch. Tournament season is just getting started though so join us next week when we've got something else for you. Until then, goodnight everybody!
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DragonMasterP
King Koopa
Wait, I turned 30? How'd that happen?
Posts: 11,989
Member is Online
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Post by DragonMasterP on Jun 19, 2013 14:28:06 GMT -5
0 for 2 so far. I'm thinking of skipping the next one so it doesn't keep happening.
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jun 19, 2013 14:37:12 GMT -5
0 for 2 so far. I'm thinking of skipping the next one so it doesn't keep happening. I'd wait to make that decision if I were you, depending on Brad's choices we could possibly have a tournament type for the first time ever next. If not, it'll definitely be after the next one.
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Big Bad Brad
Wade Wilson
Big Bad Brad
Tournament Master
Posts: 27,407
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Post by Big Bad Brad on Jun 19, 2013 16:25:01 GMT -5
0 for 2 so far. I'm thinking of skipping the next one so it doesn't keep happening. I'd wait to make that decision if I were you, depending on Brad's choices we could possibly have a tournament type for the first time ever next. If not, it'll definitely be after the next one. I sent you a PM for my choice for your next tournament.
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