(Dip Dip Dip)
Wink Tyger: (looking into the television camera)... and three, two, one (obnoxious game show host voice) Weeeellllcccooommmmeee Back!!! How are you all do in tv land? Sitting back on the ol' couch, got a soda in hand, some nachos? Hope you're having a great night, watching on the Ffffrrreakkkiinnnn AWESOME NETWORK!!!! I'm your host, Wink Tyger, and you all know the contestants, don't you? Lemme introduce you to them one more time!!!
*Points to contestants, some off them clearly bored and upset, others, like Orangeutang, more upbeat and cheerful*
When this dog demon isn't prowling the roadways of feudal Japan hunting monsters and kidnapping... I mean aiding damsels in distress, he can be found letting loose the tastiest and heaviest metal rifts this side of Bill Steer as part of a fiendish collective of orphaned Swedish necromancers/death metal rockers, Uppoffring!!! Cower in fear for Gus Richlen, Inuyasha Mark!!!
Next, we have a real throwback. A true visionary, kicked out of Juillard for embracing his wild side. This artist traveled the jungles of the Amazon, braved the Serengeti, and communed with the great apes of Sumatra, all in an effort to rediscover his musical muse. Listen to the sounds of your ancestors with the Orangeutang!!!
Pegasus Warrior began to yawn and nod off. Get to the point, you bum, he thought and, after one particularly glowing encomium about suave's amorous conquests among the Eastern Bloc during his Cold War spy days, an appropriately cheesy sequence of knife puns about Gretchen Weiners and an evocation of Apollo, the Golden Music God of the Greeks for Pegasus's benefit, the Host finally got back on track.
Wink Tyger: And, yes, thankfully that's over with. The execs at the Freakin' Awesome Network consulted with their brain trust and Retro said that it would be a good idea if I was a game show host for this Round. Quiet You (pointing to suave), don't laugh when I say I'm a game show host. With that said, back to the task at hand.
The Double Dip is a staple of the FAN Idol Season. It allows the contestants to break that most sacred of rules, enabling them to pick new songs from previously selected artists. At this stage of the competition, the contestants were also tasked with choosing a new song from an artist first used in FAN Idol this Season. To complicate things even more, the contestants were finally allowed to choose either a new artist altogether for this Season or to double dip one already selected. Many pm's were sent, rules had to be reexplained, contestants went slightly mad, but, in the end, a fine selection of songs were made, altogether worthy of the veritable bounty of the sea of musicians picked earlier this Season.
With only six competitors left, this Round is of utmost importance. Winning it will allow the victor to choose a fourth song for
Round 35: Rock and Roll High School: The School of Rock, provided that at least three school subjects are represented for that most unpredictable of Rounds. The winner will have a golden opportunity to firmly plant him or herself in the running for FAN Idol for Season IX, while those contestants hovering near the bottom will have some ground to make up. Each Round, of course, allows for such a comeback however and the only guarantees in this game are fantastic, out of the box thinking and moments of high drama.
So, with that in mind, let's go to the scores.
In Sixth place, receiving a total of 111 points, is a contestant that may yet live to recall the glory days of future rounds that lie ahead...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Knailsic Loves to Boogie!!! who challenged us to think with Kendrik Lamar's poignant Swimming Pools (Drank) (30 pts, 13th), pulled at our heartstrings with another song about a man lamenting to his mama that he shot a man down with Turned Me Cold by Lil B (15 pts, 15th), and wrapped around us with 8 arms strong, with the legendary Syd Barrett's only single as a solo artist, Octopus (66 pts, 2nd)!!!
With 126 points and in fifth place is a contestant that does not have to do a double take. No doubt about it, this contestant is in the final six and likely here to stay for Rounds to come...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
suave!!! who moved us with the anti-war anthem Hero of War by melodic hardcore band Rise Against (45 pts, T-10th), went back to the well for the electronic synthpop magic of Scottish electronic band Chvrches and their Recover (25 pts, 14th) and presented us with the wholesome, baked goodness of ska and soul bros. The Pietasters and their defiant Stay Out All Night (56 pts, 6th)!!!
Sitting pretty at 143 points and in 4th place, just two shy of a tie for 3rd, is a contestant that dug deep into their musical arsenal and came up with guns blazing...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Gus Richlen, Inuyasha Mark!!! who channeled his retrospective side with The Byrds cover of the Bob Dylan's My Back Pages (49 pts, T-9th), regaled us with his hiking a hundred highways with Johnny Cash's cover of Frank Sinatra's Love's Been Good to Me (49 pts, 9th), and made our choices doubly tough this round with the incomparable soul man Solomon Burke's The Judgement (45 pts, T-10th)!!!
Taking the Bronze with 145 points is a contestant that showed they had a lot left to offer this competition, reminding us again what a force they can be...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Orangeutan!!! who kept it in the family with the Sierota siblings' band, Echosmith, and their Cool Kids (57 pts, 5th), threw down the gauntlet with Pop God Elton John's immortal (and nonsensical) Bennie and the Jets (54 pts, 7th), and gave us a big old peck on the cheek with the lippy Paul Stanley and his Tonight You Belong to Me (34 pts, 12th)!!!
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Gretchen Weiners.
Pegasus Warrior
Please Step Forward.
The two of you are the highest scoring contestants for
Round 34: One More Time: The Double Dip. This may be the most strategy oriented Round in the entire Season. While it hasn't always been part of FAN/Wrestlecrap Idol, the Double Dip Round has become a signaling point to announce that the competition has reached a very important juncture. With only six contestants left, the Rounds will get harder and harder, the contestants more desperate and resourceful, and the level of play will crescendo. The Double Dip is a good barometer of a contestant's ability to not only pick great music but to pick great music that can win over the judges. Since so much is available to a contestant, it takes a truly great grasp of strategy to stand out and shine. Winning this will allow the victorious contestant the ability to pick another song for Round 35, which will be a great advantage due to that Round's wide open perimeters.
So, with a dazzling score of 176 points, the winner of
Round 34: One More Time: The Double Dip is...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Pegasus Warrior!!! who knows exactly where he is in this competition, employing Canadian indie rock band maestros Hot Hot Heat's Middle of Nowhere, as heard on the WB show One Tree Hill (67 pts, 1st), bringing forth the eclectic stylings of the oft-poetic anti-folk musician Regina Spekter and her You've Got Time (T-10th), and filling his sails with the calm, fortuitous breeze of the legendary Red Hot Chili Peppers's Zephyr Song (64 pts, 3rd)!!! Congratulations!!!
With 154 big time points, sewing up second place, is Gretchen Weiners!!! who wandered about for a fair bit until she got her bearings with English Blues Rock Supergroup Blind Faith's Can't Find My Way Home (62 pts, 4th), the dark, Country-tinged drug influenced Dead Flowers by the incomparable Rolling Stones (52 pts, 8th), and she gave them all a battle with Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band's Her Strut (40 pts, 11th)!!!
Judges' Rankings:
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
1. Pegasus Warrior (67+45+64= 176 pts)
Middle of Nowhere- Hot Hot Heat
Fw-9, LM-13, R-14, W-17, ZA-14= 67 (1st)
You’ve Got Time- Regina Spektor
Fw-3, LM-3, R-5, W-18, ZA-16= 45 (T-10th)
The Zephyr Song- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Fw-15, LM-18, R-1, W-12, ZA-18= 64 (3rd)
2. Gretchen Weiners (62+52+40= 154pts)
Can’t Find My Way Home- Blind Faith
Fw-12, LM-12, R-18, W-14, ZA-6= 62 (4th)
Dead Flowers- The Rolling Stones
Fw-5, LM-14, R-9, W-16, ZA-8= 52 (8th)
Her Strut- Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
Fw-11, LM-10, R-7, W-7, ZA-5= 40 (11th)
3. Orangeutang (57+54+34= 145pts)
Cool Kids- Echosmith
Fw-10, LM-9, R-17, W-8, ZA-13= 57 (5th)
Bennie and the Jets- Elton John
Fw-8, LM-16, R-4, W-9, ZA-17= 54 (7th)
Tonight You Belong to Me- Paul Stanley
Fw-7, LM-11, R-3, W-4, ZA-9= 34 (12th)
4. Gus Richlen, Inuyasha Mark (49+49+45= 143pts)
My Back Pages- The Byrds
Fw-16, LM-8, R-12, W-1, ZA-12= 49 (T-9th)
Love’s Been Good to me- Johnny Cash
Fw-6, LM-7, R-11, W-15, ZA-10= 49 (T-9th)
The Judgement- Solomon Burke
Fw-14, LM-6, R-16, W-5, ZA-4= 45 (T-10th)
5. Murder Killingfield (45+25+56= 126pts)
Hero of War- Rise Against
Fw-18, LM-4, R-6, W-10, ZA-7= 45 (T-10)
Recover- Chvrches
Fw-2, LM-5, R-13, W-3, ZA-2= 25 (14th)
Out All Night- The Pietasters
Fw-17, LM-15, R-2, W-11, ZA-11= 56 (6th)
6. Knailsic Loves to Boogie (30+15+66= 111pts)
Swimming Pools (Drank)- Kendrik Lamar
Fw-4, LM-2, R-8, W-13, ZA-3= 30 (13th)
Turned Me Cold- Lil B
Fw-1, LM-1, R-10, W-2, ZA-1= 15 (15th)
Octopus- Syd Barrett
Fw-13, LM-17, R-15, W-6, ZA-15= 66 (2nd)
Rankings by Song:
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
1. Middle of Nowhere- Hot Hot Heat (Pegasus Warrior)
Fw-9, LM-13, R-14, W-17, ZA-14= 67
2. Octopus- Syd Barrett (Knailsic Loves to Boogie)
Fw-13, LM-17, R-15, W-6, ZA-15= 66
3. The Zephyr Song- Red Hot Chili Peppers (Pegasus Warrior)
Fw-15, LM-18, R-1, W-12, ZA-18= 64
4. Can’t Find My Way Home- Blind Faith (Gretchen Weiners)
Fw-12, LM-12, R-18, W-14, ZA-6= 62
5. Cool Kids- Echosmith (Orangeutang)
Fw-10, LM-9, R-17, W-8, ZA-13= 57
6. Out All Night- The Pietasters (suave)
Fw-17, LM-15, R-2, W-11, ZA-11= 56
7. Bennie and the Jets- Elton John (Orangeutang)
Fw-8, LM-16, R-4, W-9, ZA-17= 54
8. Dead Flowers- The Rolling Stones (Gretchen Weiners)
Fw-5, LM-14, R-9, W-16, ZA-8= 52
T-9. My Back Pages- The Byrds (Gus Richlen, Inuyasha Mark)
Fw-16, LM-8, R-12, W-1, ZA-12= 49
T-9. Love’s Been Good to me- Johnny Cash (Gus Richlen, Inuyasha Mark)
Fw-6, LM-7, R-11, W-15, ZA-10= 49
T-10. You’ve Got Time- Regina Spektor (Pegasus Warrior)
Fw-3, LM-3, R-5, W-18, ZA-16= 45
T-10. Hero of War- Rise Against (suave)
Fw-18, LM-4, R-6, W-10, ZA-7= 45
T-10. The Judgement- Solomon Burke (Gus Richlen, Inuyasha Mark)
Fw-14, LM-6, R-16, W-5, ZA-4= 45
11. Her Strut- Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band (Gretchen Weiners)
Fw-11, LM-10, R-7, W-7, ZA-5= 40
12. Tonight You Belong to Me- Paul Stanley (Orangeutan)
Fw-7, LM-11, R-3, W-4, ZA-9= 34
13. Swimming Pools (Drank)- Kendrik Lamar (Knailsic Loves to Boogie)
Fw-4, LM-2, R-8, W-13, ZA-3= 30
14. Recover- Chvrches (suave)
Fw-2, LM-5, R-13, W-3, ZA-2= 25
15. Turned Me Cold- Lil B (Knailsic Loves to Boogie)
Fw-1, LM-1, R-10, W-2, ZA-1= 15