The Four remaining FAN Idol contestants awaited the Judges' results for
Round 40: Judges' Round I in one of the innumerable FAN living rooms inside the Freakin' Awesome Compound. This particular living room was a creature comfort in inaugural FAN Idol winner and oft-times judge Widow's Peak's former FAN apartments, Ms. Peak abandoning them to renew her pursuit of the endangered Adelocosa anops or Kauai cave wolf spider, which promised to be the crown jewel of her arachnid collection (Ms. Peak spent quite the fortune in acquiring Lisa Marie Vachon's, aka TNA's Tara aka WWE's Victoria, prize winning Tarantula "Poison"). The Would-be FAN Idols passed the time with small talk and chit chat, with the occasional round of charades thrown in.
The Orangeutan (squinting at Pegasus Warrior, who first made a gesture that reminded one of a native brave's war cry, which then transitioned into a wail fit to invoke the Banshees of Ireland and their haunted souls):.... Is it.... No... Yes! It's Siouxsie and the Banshees!!!
Pegasus Warrior, with a slight smile on his face: Indeed! When I knew them, they were performing under the name Janet and the Icebergs. Ah, the Bromley Contingent! To this day, Steven Severin owes me a fresh skeleton... (the other three contestants shoot Pegasus Warrior a quick look)... I mean, metaphorically of course! Why, whatever would I do with a skeleton? (Nervous Laugh)
The Orangeutan (picking away at a Bananas Foster that he had FAN catering provide for him): Ancient Greek Ritual? Some sort of luck incantation for future Rounds? Love potion to ensorcel your groupies?
Pegasus Warrior (wry smile on his face): Mr. Orange, please be assured that I do not require any baubles to find success in that arena of life.
Cher Horowitz: Oh! I LOVE that movie! Mr. Orange was such a rat! If I ever found out I was double crossed in this game, I tell ya, people would lose more than a ear!
Thank You Based Suave: Oh no Cher, that was the cop. Yeah, they cut the ear off the cop, not Mr. Orange.
The Orangeutan (ever the expert on all things Orange) No, no, my dear. (Emphasizing his words with this hands, which had regressed into a more ape-like form, one that Orangeutan rather found advantageous) Mr. Orange WAS the cop. Indeed, he was the mole all along.
Cher (looking around at Widow's Peak's living room, then resting her hand on a couch arm, only to find a cobweb): Isn't this room classic? (Looks at the gothic styling) I bet that column over there dates all the way back to 1972! (Sighs) Can't believe those Judges had us pick songs from the '90s! As if!
Thank You Based Suave (Looks at Cher's clothing, eliciting a tongue sticking out in response):... I, uh, that is to say. Well, look at what you're wearing... I mean...
Cher (glaring): And what's wrong with what I'm wearing!
The Orangeutan: Oh snap!
Thank You Based Suave: It's just that, it's soooo '90s! With that get up, it's a bit unfair that we had two '90s songs to choose. The only thing you're missing are four diamond rings and two big ass chains!
Cher: (Death Stare)
Pegasus Warrior: It may indeed prove to be unfair. After all, I doubt you recall much from the '90s Suave. You were a wee tyke at the time, weren't you?
Thank You Based Suave: Oh yeah! You know, I found my mom's old cassette of your band, Peg. Couldn't get it to work but the cover had you dancing around in a gothicky looking place like this!
Cher: Hee! I remember that one too! You were carrying around some skull and prancing around all these candles!
Pegasus Warrior: That skull represented my one true lost love and I wasn't prancing. No, I was displaying too much melancholic loss to "prance".
The Orangeutan: What about the candles?
Pegasus Warrior: Those were just candles. I mean, they illuminated the dark sorrow of my heart. I was railing against depression itself, a lone raft tossing and turning amidst a sea of sorrow.
Thank You Based Suave: Man, the '70s were a messed up time.
Pegasus Warrior: That, that wasn't the '70s (looking at Suave)... when did I get so old?
The Orangeutan (Shrugs): When did I become an orangutang? If we keep asking questions, we'll be here all night.
Still, to pass the time, they played another game of charades. They figured out through her clues that Cher was the Sonics.
And here are the results for
Round 40: Judges' Round I. The first of three cumulative Rounds, culminating in a Sing-Off that will reduce our contestant pool to the Top Three of Season IX, success here will be critical as the Rounds move forward. The winner will be able to send in an additional song for
Round 41: Here Comes the Bride and will also have a jump on the other three contestants for the next two Rounds. We have reached a place in the Season where every song, every point counts and to have any level of control over the game will be very helpful,
In Fourth place, wearing red flannel, Smelling like Teen Spirit and no longer wasting time Chasing Waterfalls, with 154 points is...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
The Orangeutang!!! who took the warp zone to Round 41 with Steve Terreberry's Super Mario Bros Djent (33 pts, 11th place), drinking Hennessy and trying to make it last with the legendary Tupac Shakur and his Life Goes On (44 pts, 6th), snuggled up and had a great night with all of us FANs watching at home with the inimitable The Four Seasons and their December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night) (41 pts, T-7), and went clubbing, Butabi Brothers style, with Haddaway's What is Love (36 pts, 10th)!!!
Landing in third place, with 156 points, is a contestant that helped set straight this Watergate and is never caught playing Foolish Games...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}Pegasus Warrior!!! who sings along with every song, accompanying Cassadee Pope's Over You (51 pts, T-3rd), never fails to entertain himself with the Deep Purple Sampling Downtown by PM Dawn (45 pts, T-5th), keeps on finding us new reasons why we should keep listening to him with Days of the New's Touch, Peel, and Stand (32 pts, 12th), and might pack up and live in Brazil, selling beans and rocking out with K.T. Oslin's 80s Ladies (23 pts, 13th)!!!
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
Cher Horowitz.
Thank You Based Suave.
Please Step Forward.
You two are our two highest contestants for Round 40: Judges' Round I. This devilish Round was organized around our esteemed Judges twisted concepts and is merely a taste of what's to come as we progress forward. Success this Round will land one of you in a position of power as we move forward. Though we have played through an unbelievable array of challenging Rounds, experience twists and turns at each step, we will have only five more Rounds to play through before the Finale. Doing well now will go a long way in ensuring that you will be there to make your case for why you should be FAN Idol for Season IX.
With a total of 191 points and wrapping up first place, is a contestant who is no mere dabbler, no common amateur. Winning
Round 40: Judge's Round I is...
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}Thank You Based Suave!!! Congratulations!!! You are definitely not on the Judge's shit list, choosing L7's vitrolic Shitlist (40 pts, 8th), experiencing the surreal joy of a drive by body pierce from the alternative rock chameleon Beck and his Loser (46 pts, 4th), standing tall and casting a long shadow with The Tallest Man on Earth's 1904 (54 pts, 2nd), and knocked us out with the soundbyte musings of JustDaveMusic's Mike Tyson Quotes (51 pts. T-3rd)!!! Congrats!!!
Not to be overshadowed is Cher Horowitz!!! who took second place and brought home 184 pts with American Idol runner-up Bo Bice's powerful take on Badland's Im a Dream (45 pts, T-5th), showed that the treasures of battle are not just for the wounded with Rilo Kiley's Love and War-11/11/46 (59 pts, 1st), complicated this game with Collective Soul's Heavy (41 pts, T-7th), and realizes where we are at and what has to be done to win with Queensryche's Silent Lucidity (39 pts, 9th)!!!
Fantastic job you two!
Rankings by Contestant:
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
1. Thank You Based Suave- 191
Shitlist- L7 (Grunge) (Nasty 90s)
FW- 14, GM-2, RR-13, W-1, ZA-10= 40 (8th)
Loser- Beck (Alt. Rock) (Nasty 90s)
FW- 15, GM-15, RR-1, W-14, ZA-1= 46 (4th)
1904- The Tallest Man on Earth (Years)
FW- 8, GM-9, RR-16, W-16, ZA-5= 54 (2nd)
Mike Tyson Quotes: The Song- JustDaveMusic (Amateur Hour)
FW- 11, GM-12, RR-2, W-13, ZA-13= 51 (T-3rd)
2. Cher Horowitz- 184
In a Dream- Bo Bice (Amateur Hour)
FW-16, GM-1, RR-14, W-8, ZA-6= 45 (T-5th)
Love and War- 11/11/46- Rilo Kiley (Years)
FW- 13, GM-13, RR-15, W-15, ZA-3= 59 (1st)
Heavy- Collective Soul (The 90s)
FW- 6, GM-6, RR-11, W-4, ZA-14= 41 (T-7th)
Silent lucidity- Queensryche (The 90s)
FW- 4, GM-7, RR-9, W-12, ZA-7= 39 (9th)
3. Pegasus Warrior- 156
Over You- Cassadee Pope (Amateur Hour)
FW- 7, GM-10, RR-8, W-11, ZA-15= 51 (T-3rd)
Downtown Venus- PM Dawn (The 90s)
FW- 9, GM-11, RR-7, W-6, ZA-12= 45 (T-5th)
Touch, Peel, and Stand- Days of the New (The 90s)
FW- 10, GM-3, RR-3, W-5, ZA-11= 32 (12th)
80s Ladies- KT Oslin (Years)
FW- 2, GM-5, RR-6, W-2, ZA-8= 23 (13th)
4. Orangeutang- 154
Super Mario Bros Djent- Steve Terreberry (Amateur Hour)
FW-1, GM-8, RR-10, W-10, ZA-4= 33 (11th)
Life Goes On- Tupac (The 90s)
FW- 5, GM-4, RR-12, W-7, ZA-16= 44 (6th)
December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)- The Four Seasons (Years)
FW- 12, GM-14, RR-4, W-9, ZA-2= 41 (T-7th)
What Is Love- Haddaway (The 90s)
FW- 3, GM-16, RR-5, W-3, ZA-9= 36 (10th)
Rankings By Song:
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
1. Love and War- 11/11/46- Rilo Kiley (Years)
FW- 13, GM-13, RR-15, W-15, ZA-3= 59 (Cher Horowitz)
2. 1904- The Tallest Man on Earth (Years)
FW- 8, GM-9, RR-16, W-16, ZA-5= 54 (Thank You Based Suave)
T-3. Mike Tyson Quotes: The Song- JustDaveMusic (Amateur Hour)
FW- 11, GM-12, RR-2, W-13, ZA-13= 51 (Thank You Based Suave)
T-3. Over You- Cassadee Pope (Amateur Hour)
FW- 7, GM-10, RR-8, W-11, ZA-15= 51 (Pegasus Warrior)
4. Loser- Beck (Alt. Rock) (Nasty 90s)
FW- 15, GM-15, RR-1, W-14, ZA-1= 46 (Thank You Based Suave)
T-5. Downtown Venus- PM Dawn (The 90s)
FW- 9, GM-11, RR-7, W-6, ZA-12= 45 (Pegasus Warrior)
T-5. In a Dream- Bo Bice (Amateur Hour)
FW-16, GM-1, RR-14, W-8, ZA-6= 45 (Cher Horowitz)
6. Life Goes On- Tupac (The 90s)
FW- 5, GM-4, RR-12, W-7, ZA-16= 44 (Orangeutang)
T-7. December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)- The Four Seasons (Years)
FW- 12, GM-14, RR-4, W-9, ZA-2= 41 (Orangeutang)
T-7. Heavy- Collective Soul (The 90s)
FW- 6, GM-6, RR-11, W-4, ZA-14= 41 (Cher Horowitz)
8. Shitlist- L7 (Grunge) (Nasty 90s)
FW- 14, GM-2, RR-13, W-1, ZA-10= 40 (Thank You Based Suave)
9. Silent lucidity- Queensryche (The 90s)
FW- 4, GM-7, RR-9, W-12, ZA-7= 39 (Cher Horowitz)
10. What Is Love- Haddaway (The 90s)
FW- 3, GM-16, RR-5, W-3, ZA-9= 36 (Orangeutang)
11. Super Mario Bros Djent- Steve Terreberry (Amateur Hour)
FW-1, GM-8, RR-10, W-10, ZA-4= 33 (Orangeutang)
12. Touch, Peel, and Stand- Days of the New (The 90s)
FW- 10, GM-3, RR-3, W-5, ZA-11= 32 (Pegasus Warrior)
13. 80s Ladies- KT Oslin (Years)
FW- 2, GM-5, RR-6, W-2, ZA-8= 23 (Pegasus Warrior)