Most ridiculous TNA is coming back/going to survive thread

[Sephiroth]

AJ might be coming back, Chavo is gone, ratings are up slightly. Guess TNA isn't on its deathbed after all. So seems like an appropriate time for this. I'll start the ball rolling.

Dixie carter won fifty bucks in the lottery-now she can make payroll for the Knockouts.
Money is getting so plentiful in TNA they can stop paying Samoa Joe in donuts-they are going to pay him in Chinese food instead.
TNA is pleased to announce the return of a longtime major star for the company: the extreme midget will now be X division champion.

[Deleted]

Dixie won fifty f***s in the lottery?

Where is this lottery and can I get a ticket?

[________ has left the building]

TNA has got Dewey Barnes and Norv Fernum to sign long term contracts.

Gunner vs Storm will bring back fans.

Spike TV agreed to give them an extra 3 minutes for Impact.

Universal offered them discounts on snacks, rides, and merchandise in the theme park.

Joseph Park agreed to work pro bono for TNA.

They signed hot new luchador from Mexico, El Guerrero Mascara.