Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2013 13:28:35 GMT -5
'Twas the night before Raw, when all through the WWE
Not a wrestler was stirring, save for Big E.;
The trunks were hung by the TV office with care,
In hopes that creepy Vince soon would be there;
The Divas were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of Batista danced in their heads;
And Steph in her tiara, and HHH in his crown,
Had just decided to turn Daniel Bryan into Doink the Clown,
When from the crowd there arose such a clatter,
And I knew that it wasn't Alberto because to the fans he doesn't matter.
Away to the monitor I flew like a flash,
Stood at an awkward angle and watched CM Punk so brash.
The lights on the breasts of Kaitlyn so blinding,
Mostly made me wonder what she was doing in the ring,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature diva, AJ, riding Torito the Reindeer
With a crazy old booker so nutty he grins,
I knew in a moment he must be creepy Vince.
More rapid than eagles his ideas they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Katie Vick! now, Dr. Heine! now Kizarny and Mantaur!
On, Max Moon! on, Fantasio! on, Red Rooster au revoir!
To the top of the ladder! to the top of the cage!
Now make yourself famous! make yourself famous! So you can stand in a group on the stage!"
As Ziggler and his brother from another mother Kofi fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, they'll job to anyone not named Z-Ry;
So up to the turnbuckle the dives they flew
With a career full of losses, another Creepy Vince idea too—
And then, in a crashing, I heard from the mat
It looked as if Ziggler was wearing Kofi's ass for a hat.
As a theme hit, and I was turning around,
Down to the ring Creepy Vince came with a power strut bound.
He was dressed all in Powder Blue, from his head to his foot,
And his face looked like he thought that he had an idea that was too good;
A brainstorm that he had forced on the team creative,
Surely another idea for an Orton superpush he had created.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his chin dimple, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up as with a crane,
And we all just knew that he had another bad idea again;
Surely it was another idea in which he was certain to invest,
And I just hoped that it wasn't another angle based on incest;
He had a possible toupee and an ass that did tricks
Bouncing and jiggling as he waits for someone's lips to affix.
He was muscular and insane, a right goofy old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A bob of his Adam's apple and a grab of his ear
Soon gave me to know that it was him who was full of fear.
He spoke not a word, but for some reason pissed his pants,
And stained his trousers; then turned and did a weird little dance,
And then giving a look as if the fans are wrong,
He couldn't help but wonder why they didn't want to see Viscera in a thong;
He sprang to his office, to the creative team he gave an order,
And then tried to figure out what went wrong last quarter.
But I heard him exclaim, so ridiculously inspired—
“Merry Christmas motherf***ers, you're all fired!”
Not a wrestler was stirring, save for Big E.;
The trunks were hung by the TV office with care,
In hopes that creepy Vince soon would be there;
The Divas were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of Batista danced in their heads;
And Steph in her tiara, and HHH in his crown,
Had just decided to turn Daniel Bryan into Doink the Clown,
When from the crowd there arose such a clatter,
And I knew that it wasn't Alberto because to the fans he doesn't matter.
Away to the monitor I flew like a flash,
Stood at an awkward angle and watched CM Punk so brash.
The lights on the breasts of Kaitlyn so blinding,
Mostly made me wonder what she was doing in the ring,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature diva, AJ, riding Torito the Reindeer
With a crazy old booker so nutty he grins,
I knew in a moment he must be creepy Vince.
More rapid than eagles his ideas they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Katie Vick! now, Dr. Heine! now Kizarny and Mantaur!
On, Max Moon! on, Fantasio! on, Red Rooster au revoir!
To the top of the ladder! to the top of the cage!
Now make yourself famous! make yourself famous! So you can stand in a group on the stage!"
As Ziggler and his brother from another mother Kofi fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, they'll job to anyone not named Z-Ry;
So up to the turnbuckle the dives they flew
With a career full of losses, another Creepy Vince idea too—
And then, in a crashing, I heard from the mat
It looked as if Ziggler was wearing Kofi's ass for a hat.
As a theme hit, and I was turning around,
Down to the ring Creepy Vince came with a power strut bound.
He was dressed all in Powder Blue, from his head to his foot,
And his face looked like he thought that he had an idea that was too good;
A brainstorm that he had forced on the team creative,
Surely another idea for an Orton superpush he had created.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his chin dimple, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up as with a crane,
And we all just knew that he had another bad idea again;
Surely it was another idea in which he was certain to invest,
And I just hoped that it wasn't another angle based on incest;
He had a possible toupee and an ass that did tricks
Bouncing and jiggling as he waits for someone's lips to affix.
He was muscular and insane, a right goofy old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A bob of his Adam's apple and a grab of his ear
Soon gave me to know that it was him who was full of fear.
He spoke not a word, but for some reason pissed his pants,
And stained his trousers; then turned and did a weird little dance,
And then giving a look as if the fans are wrong,
He couldn't help but wonder why they didn't want to see Viscera in a thong;
He sprang to his office, to the creative team he gave an order,
And then tried to figure out what went wrong last quarter.
But I heard him exclaim, so ridiculously inspired—
“Merry Christmas motherf***ers, you're all fired!”