House Show Report - Svitz
Mar 13, 2014 9:36:39 GMT -5
"Magic" Mark Hurr, Germansuplex, and 11 more like this
Post by shaker on Mar 13, 2014 9:36:39 GMT -5
We are on the road to Wrestlemania, which means the WWE is bringing it's A game (except those weeks where they feel like phoning it in!!). That attitude includes the house shows, because let me tell you - this was my FAVORITE house show yet!
The crowd was about 99.4% full - pretty amazing for a house show on a Wednesday night (it was competing against a local bake sale and the Invisible Farmer's Market).
HHH and Stephanie were out first, telling us that tonight's show was brought to us by StrexCorp, a local business here that has recently branched out into mind control technology, bio-engineering, and orange juice production. They announced that in honor of StrexCorp, our main event was going to be a Wrestlemania preview; as Daniel Bryan took on Batista AND Orton in a handicap match!
First up was Rusev taking on a local guy - The Desert Scorpion. The Desert Scorpion got a little bit of offense in (he transformed into a cloud of buzzing flies at one point, which seemed to throw Rusev off his game) but the outcome was obvious from the start. Rusev won pretty decisively with what I assume is his finisher - he tore both arms off the Desert Scorpion and then beat him to death with them. Lana is absolutely stunning in real life, too - that prehensile tail especially.
Next up, the Usos defended their tag titles against the New Age Outlaws! NAO were playing full heel - they dropped their normal introduction for a long, droning hum that caused several members of the audience to spontaneously combust. Usos won a good match after Billy Gunn missed a Fame-Asser, only to be hit with double super kicks and then a big splash. Good match!
Daniel Bryan promo next. He said that he has an idea for the main event - a member of the Yes Movement should be his tag team partner! The crowd went crazy!!! Bryan said he was going to watch the crowd closely, and pick someone to help him beat Orton and Batista in the main event! Very cool!!
Diva's match up next - AJ Lee, Tamina, and Aksana took on The Bella Twins and Natalya. The Bella Twins busted out a new tag team finisher that was pretty cool - Brie used her latent telekinetic power to lift Aksana about 15 feet in the air, then Nikki fired laser beams from her eyes. Brie was going for the pin on Aksana's roasted corpse, but AJ won with a rollup. Pretty good math overall - after the rollup Natalya cleared the ring with a steel chair and proceeded to dance.
Bryan said he had selected his partner for the main event, and a dozen hooded figures descended from the rafters into the audience to pick up the lucky fan. I didn't get a good look at this point (the strobe lights and random bursts of color from the hooded figures made it hard to tell where they were), but I heard a LOT of happy screaming and crying here, so somebody must have been pumped.
The next match was kind of a flop, but I think it was just bad match placement. Big E, Mark Henry, and Dolph Ziggler came out wearing shirts that said "More Like CM Junk, am I right?" to take on The Shield, who were wearing camo versions of their current ring gear. And I mean camo in the sense that they were invisible - outside of a Predator-like shimmer effect, the Shield was impossible to see. Hard to judge this one because of that, but I did like the finish. Ambrose's camo malfunctioned, and he appeared wtih pizza stains on his face. Ziggler proceeded to hit a Zig Zag, then Big E hit a Big Ending. Big E goes for the pin, Rollins and Reigns try to break it up but Mark Henry mowed them down with a chain gun while yelling "I AM A GODDAMN SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS". Big E gets the pin! Huge pop for the finish, but then again, Svitz has always been a big Jesse Ventura town!!!
Final matchup now! Orton and Batista out to a ton of boos, coming out to a new theme song (imagine a mix of the Right to Censor Theme, Honky Tonk Man's, and a funeral dirge) with lyrics like "All of the rain is not real. Mountains are not real. Batista Bomb!!!"
Bryan came out to an insane pop, paused at the top of the ramp, and said "And my partner..... a proud member of the Yes Movement....."
*GLASS SHATTERS*
Bah gawd AUSTIN!!!!
I don't need to tell you how amazing this main event was. Austin and Bryan basically whooped ass for 15 minutes straight, and it was great. Bryan really deserved a nice moment like this. The finish came when Batista attempted a spear on Bryan, only to run into Austin's boot. STUNNER!!! Orton tried to run out of the ring, but Bryan hits him with the running knee! 1-2-3!!
Post match - Austin drinks a beer with Bryan (who was drinking water), then gets on the mic. He proceeds to read the entirety of "The Old Man and The Sea" as the crowd goes nuts. During this, Bryan fired t-shirts out of a cannon hidden in his beard.
Great show - if Mania is anything like that main event, we'll all be happy campers!
The crowd was about 99.4% full - pretty amazing for a house show on a Wednesday night (it was competing against a local bake sale and the Invisible Farmer's Market).
HHH and Stephanie were out first, telling us that tonight's show was brought to us by StrexCorp, a local business here that has recently branched out into mind control technology, bio-engineering, and orange juice production. They announced that in honor of StrexCorp, our main event was going to be a Wrestlemania preview; as Daniel Bryan took on Batista AND Orton in a handicap match!
First up was Rusev taking on a local guy - The Desert Scorpion. The Desert Scorpion got a little bit of offense in (he transformed into a cloud of buzzing flies at one point, which seemed to throw Rusev off his game) but the outcome was obvious from the start. Rusev won pretty decisively with what I assume is his finisher - he tore both arms off the Desert Scorpion and then beat him to death with them. Lana is absolutely stunning in real life, too - that prehensile tail especially.
Next up, the Usos defended their tag titles against the New Age Outlaws! NAO were playing full heel - they dropped their normal introduction for a long, droning hum that caused several members of the audience to spontaneously combust. Usos won a good match after Billy Gunn missed a Fame-Asser, only to be hit with double super kicks and then a big splash. Good match!
Daniel Bryan promo next. He said that he has an idea for the main event - a member of the Yes Movement should be his tag team partner! The crowd went crazy!!! Bryan said he was going to watch the crowd closely, and pick someone to help him beat Orton and Batista in the main event! Very cool!!
Diva's match up next - AJ Lee, Tamina, and Aksana took on The Bella Twins and Natalya. The Bella Twins busted out a new tag team finisher that was pretty cool - Brie used her latent telekinetic power to lift Aksana about 15 feet in the air, then Nikki fired laser beams from her eyes. Brie was going for the pin on Aksana's roasted corpse, but AJ won with a rollup. Pretty good math overall - after the rollup Natalya cleared the ring with a steel chair and proceeded to dance.
Bryan said he had selected his partner for the main event, and a dozen hooded figures descended from the rafters into the audience to pick up the lucky fan. I didn't get a good look at this point (the strobe lights and random bursts of color from the hooded figures made it hard to tell where they were), but I heard a LOT of happy screaming and crying here, so somebody must have been pumped.
The next match was kind of a flop, but I think it was just bad match placement. Big E, Mark Henry, and Dolph Ziggler came out wearing shirts that said "More Like CM Junk, am I right?" to take on The Shield, who were wearing camo versions of their current ring gear. And I mean camo in the sense that they were invisible - outside of a Predator-like shimmer effect, the Shield was impossible to see. Hard to judge this one because of that, but I did like the finish. Ambrose's camo malfunctioned, and he appeared wtih pizza stains on his face. Ziggler proceeded to hit a Zig Zag, then Big E hit a Big Ending. Big E goes for the pin, Rollins and Reigns try to break it up but Mark Henry mowed them down with a chain gun while yelling "I AM A GODDAMN SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS". Big E gets the pin! Huge pop for the finish, but then again, Svitz has always been a big Jesse Ventura town!!!
Final matchup now! Orton and Batista out to a ton of boos, coming out to a new theme song (imagine a mix of the Right to Censor Theme, Honky Tonk Man's, and a funeral dirge) with lyrics like "All of the rain is not real. Mountains are not real. Batista Bomb!!!"
Bryan came out to an insane pop, paused at the top of the ramp, and said "And my partner..... a proud member of the Yes Movement....."
*GLASS SHATTERS*
Bah gawd AUSTIN!!!!
I don't need to tell you how amazing this main event was. Austin and Bryan basically whooped ass for 15 minutes straight, and it was great. Bryan really deserved a nice moment like this. The finish came when Batista attempted a spear on Bryan, only to run into Austin's boot. STUNNER!!! Orton tried to run out of the ring, but Bryan hits him with the running knee! 1-2-3!!
Post match - Austin drinks a beer with Bryan (who was drinking water), then gets on the mic. He proceeds to read the entirety of "The Old Man and The Sea" as the crowd goes nuts. During this, Bryan fired t-shirts out of a cannon hidden in his beard.
Great show - if Mania is anything like that main event, we'll all be happy campers!