{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
<GYMKHANA ROSS>welcome everyone to MONDAY NIGHTMARE NIGHT!!!
were we are on the last step to the thrones of glory that is PONYMANIA3, the greatest night in equestrian history .....
and tonight, one big step into either history ..... or OBLIVION ..... as the HEARTS AND HOOVES and THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R. sign the contract for their battle at PONYMANIA3!
<LILY GARCIA>please welcome .....
the HOSTS OF PONYMANIA3!!!
*the royal music plays*
*the pony crowd erupts in cheers, and both princesses stride down the ramp, waving to the ponys and bumping hooves with the foals and fillies*
<GYMKHANA ROSS>what a glorious sight to see, both our royal highnesses here tonight, both PONYMANIA3 hosts and they are here tonight!
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>thank you my ponies ..... and my goodness, is it good to be baaaaaaaaaaaack in my proper form and regalia!
<PRINCESS LUNA>heck yeah it is my sister, after all the trials and tribulations we have gone through in the last couple of years, i'm almost glad that no one is gunning for us now!
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>indeed LUNA, for if you all remember what happened at the first PONYMANIA, where a dastardly plan took place ..... and cemented in equestrian history a certain "other" princess into our ranks!
<PRINCESS LUNA>and i believe that we crowned a new champion in less time than we shook a stick at ..... i do belive it was a fabulous massage kick from our first PONYMANIA champion, LOTUS, that delivered it!
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>it certainly was ..... pity that group of dread ponys THE DvP DeGen4P ruined her title celebration!
and sent ME to the moon too!!!
but as always, in my good heart ..... I FORGAVE THEM!
<PRINCESS LUNA>well i bloody well didn't *hmph*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>yes quite ..... and at last years PONYMANIA2, we had a tremendous fight between sisters ..... like we had all that time ago eh LUNA!
<PRINCESS LUNA>yeeeeeeeeeees i remember
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>when the SPA TWINS of LOTUS and ALOE fought for the coveted E.W.E. heavypony championship! what a match that was .....
<PRINCSS LUNA>buuuuuut CELESTIA, we ain't here to remenise, we are here to celebrate the third year of the GREATEST EVENT IN EQUESTRIA .....
*the crowd cheers loudly and stamp their hooves*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>and we are proud to be the hosts of the greatest event of the year .....
*more cheering, more stamping, the two princess high hoof each other .....*
#TZH#BUCKING APPLES ROSES RIVER ICICLES EVERFREE RED#TZH#
<GYMKHANA ROSS>oh good grief, what do these doofuses want???
*suddenly the mood turns, the crowd boos and hisses ..... damn snakes get everywhere ..... and THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R. comes down and climb into the ring*
<BAD NEWZ BLUEBLOOD>well well well
look what he have here
it appears that the two princess here are hosting that PONYMANIA3 thing that's on next week ..... WELL I HAVE SOME BAAAAAAAAAD NEWZ FOR YA!
<BLOOD RED ROSELUCK>we are hear tonight to witness a very important moment in the history of equestria ..... and no, it's not when that bleeding tree of HAAAAAAAAARMONY pops out that box of whatever-it-is-inside nonsense ..... but the FINAL DELIVERY of those bunch of IDIOTS .....
THE HEARTS AND HOOVES!
when they sign their death warrent ..... i mean, the contract for our two-on-three tag match at PONYMANIA3!
now THAT ..... THAT will be a glorious day indeed!!!
and tonight, when the ink has barely dried, THE AUTHORIPONY will reveal themselves ..... and strike fear into the very heart of that dribbling goof, the QUEEN OF HEARTS AITSELEC SSECNIRP!!!
if she ever comes out of her stupid that is!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA
*suddenly and from out of nowhere the team of MBM FLEUR DEE LIS and KAZZOIE KUTTER run down the ramp and try to jump THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R., but they are too quick and just get out of the ring in the nick of time*
<MBM FLEUR DEE LIS>get back in this ring you cowards ..... GET IN HERE NOW!!!!!
as soon as we sign the contract, i'm gonna stuff it down your stinking throats!!!!!!!
*but THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R. just laugh it off*
<BLOOD RED ROSELUCK>keep talking you white washed trashbag, because at the end of the night, your fate ..... IS SEALED!!!
*blows kiss, and walks back up the ramp*
*enraged, MBM FLEUR DEE LIS starts kicking the ropes, shouting and-a hollering and generally being a massive pain ..... then she spots PRINCESS CELESTIA*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>it does seem that the HEARTS AND HOOVES have a right old battle on their hands come PONYMANIA3 .....
*MBM FLEUR DEE LIS goes snout to snout with PRINCESS CELESTIA, not saying a word, as KAZZOIE KUTTER tries to pull her away .....*
<PRINCESS LUNA>*ahem*
WE ARE HEREto sign the contract, not to start pony war 3 ..... now if you wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill MBM FLEUR DEE LIS *looks at BLOOD RED ROSELUCK* and if you can be so kind as to get THE AUTHORIPONY out, maybe we can get this over with!
*BLOOD RED ROSELUCK glares at PRINCESS LUNA, then THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R. go into a huddle, whispering suspiciously ..... then they break*
<BLOOD RED ROSELUCK>okay then ..... i will ..... GET THEM AWAY FROM ME FIRST!!!
<KAZZOIE KUTTER>come on, are you scaaaaaaaaared???
<BLOOD RED ROSELUCK>HEY!!!
remember which ones are picking you off one by one! so why should we be scared of only two of you .....
*SHE'S A KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILEEEEEEEEEEER QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN .....*
<GYMKHANA ROSS>and here comes the magnificent, if slightly out of it GLORIOUS QUEEN OF THE HEARTS AND HOOVES, QUEEN OF HEARTS AITSELEC SSECNIRP, and her nurse MISS RAVEN!
*MISS RAVEN wheels QUEEN OF HEARTS AITSELEC SSECNIRP down to ringside, right in front of THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R., makes sure she doesn't roll of the trolley by giving her a stuffed white bunny rabbit to play with and hold and kiss and cuddle .....*
<BLOOD RED ROSELUCK>hey, there's the greatest queen ever *waves at her* COOEY
<MISS RAVEN>knock it off peon, we are here to make sure there aren't any "shenannigens" with all this, like what you did at THE HAYLIMINATION CONTRABULATION!
<BLOOD RED ROSELUCK>don't worry, all we're gonna do is be signatures of the beginning of the END for you! *glares*
<MISS RAVEN>alright then *glares back*
<QUEEN OF HEARTS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>strawberry shortcake is a brilliant cartoon WOOOOOOOOOOOO
<GYMKHANA ROSS>heck, the queen must be really dolally .....
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah ..... and now please welcome ..... *dramatic pause* .....
THE AUTHORIPONY!*doom muzak plays, the crowd are hushed ..... or maybe asleep ..... no no, they're hushed, as THE AUTHORIPONY and the rest of the retrobates come down ..... all dressed in black!
<THE AUTHORIPONY>yes, it is time, time for the signing of the death warrant of THE HEARTS AND HOOVES MWAHAHAHAHAH!
<MBM FLEUR DEE LIS>when i get my hooves on you, imma gonna make you wish you stayed in friday night and ordered pizza ..... BECAUSE YOU ARE A FAT GIT!!!
<THE AUTHORIPONY>now now MISS DEE LIS ..... it is MISS isn't it?
as in unmarried .....
PONY SKANK!!!!!
<MBM FLEUR DEE LIS>THAT'S IT DONKEY!!!!!!
*MBM FLEUR DEE LIS runs at the ropes, and showing amazing athletisicm, jumps over the top rope and onto the AUTHORIPONY ..... and chaos ensues, as the masked ponys scatter, MBM FLEUR DEE LIS rains down hooves and kicks then tries to take the black mask off ..... the others don't obviously want this just yet and pull MBM FLEUR DEE LIS off THE AUTHORIPONY! finally the black masks throw MBM FLEUR DEE LIS back into the ring, the pretty pony is raging, KAZZOIE KUTTER tries to calm her down but she isn't having it*
<MBM FLEUR DEE LIS>GET IN THIS RING NOW you housing project!!!!!
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>please!!!
a little decorum .....
now then ponys, can we PLEASE do this, as i have a nice cake waiting for me in the fridge *kayfabe*
<THE AUTHORIPONY>*dusts herself down* fine then, i've wasted enough time on this inevitability as it is, so what's a few more precious minutes enjoying it!
*slowly climbs into ring, along with the rest of the black masks, MBM FLEUR DEE LIS and KAZZOIE KUTTER slowly back away, MISS RAVEN glares at the masked one HARD*
<THE AUTHORIPONY>i will sit down first *sit's down cautiously* and i will sign the final act of this particularly desperate play *picks up pen cautiously* and ..... *signs contract ..... cautiously* and there it is, all signed!
NOW YOU MISS PONY SKANK FLEUR MWAHAHAHAHAH!
*MBM FLEUR DEE LIS is unbelievably angry at this point, poor KAZZOIE KUTTER is barely able to keep her at bay, but eventually she does and quietly and calmy sits down at the table*
<MBM FLEUR DEE LIS>we are going to utterly UTTERLY splatter you all up against the wall come PONYMANIA3 *angrily signs contract, practically ripping the paper*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>YES!!!
there we have it ponys, the contract is signed, and now i'm off to eat that cake!
<THE AUTHORIPONY>not so fast princesses ..... before we leave, we have a special message for the HEARTS AND HOOVES ..... from the
MASTER AND RULER OF THE PONY WORLD .....
*the lights go off, KAZZOIE KUTTER wees himself a bit, and everypony is confused*
<THE PONY MASTER>*in a deep booming voice, obviously disguised* good evening every pony
i am .....
THE PONY MASTER ..... and i am the brains behind the destruction of THE HEARTS AND HOOVES! tonight three things happen, first thing was the signing of the contract .....
second thing is this .....
*the camera pans over to see the kidnapped HEARTS AND HOOVES members all tied up and with a nice bow on their heads too *cute* .....
BIG ANARCHISTA, SPARKLER 69er, CONCERTO PLAYA, HARPOLICOUS RIO and IZZY EXPLOSIVO with her
"super suspicious blue coloured nerf gun with veeeeery suspiciously blue coloured nerf gun foam bullets" all tied to a chair each ..... all wearing HORSEHEADS!!!*
<THE PONY MASTER>and as you can see, they are all very comfortable, and when THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R. finally end this debacle ..... my plan for the HEARTS AND HOOVES will be complete ..... and the rule of everything WILL BEGIN!!!!!
<PRINCESS LUNA>and what's the third thing exactly?
<THE PONY MASTER>THIS!!!
*the lights goes up and the crowd gasp ..... EIGHT BITS FOR A FRIKKING TICKET?
?
naw it's not that, it's THIS!!!!!*
<THE PONY MASTER>THE AUTHORIPONY ..... REVEAL YOURSELF!
<GYMKHANA ROSS>oh blimey, here it .....
*commercial break*
{Spoiler}
<GYMKHANA ROSS>well, wasn't those some nice advertisements, i hope you saw something you wanted to buy ..... i particularly wanted to get that tonic those brothers were selling 'cos my back is killing me ..... oh yeah that other thing .....
COMES!!!!!
<THE AUTHORIPONY>BEHOLD, GENTLEMEN!!!!!
*THE AUTHORIPONY and the rest of the black masked ponys grab onto their masks, and REVEAL to the world who they truly are!!!*
<GYMKHANA ROSS>oh ma giidy hobby horse you have GOT to be kidding me!!!!!
{Spoiler}
<TRIPLE F>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
finally i can get this stupid balaclava off my beautiful face ..... geez did it stink in there ..... NOW THEN STUPID PONYS AND PEOPLE WATCHING THIS ON F.A.N. FORUM TV .....
SILENCE!!!!!
you have one week to kiss your plots goodbye, send your kids to bed, and empty your bank accounts and send it to me .....
no not really
as i'm gonna be pooping into AAAAAAAAAAAALL your breakfast cereals, and at PONYMANIA3 .....
THE END OF THE HEARTS AND HOOVES!!!!!
*the PEOPLES PETS all run round the ring, getting in between the princesses legs and causing mischief, while the OC OUTLAWS climb the turnbuckles giving the OC OUTLAWS sign ..... it's when you close your left hand into a fist and your right hand makes a C and it goes over your left hand ..... yeah that's it!*
*looks down at the dilapidated QUEEN OF HEARTS AITSELEC SSECNIRP playing with her cuddly white rabbit, and laughs*
<TRIPLE F>and my precious queen, for you a special place, in the deepest darkest dirtiest dungeon ..... RETRO SINISTER'S HOUSE!!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA *more evil laughter*
<GYMKHANA ROSS>bah gawd, TRIPLE F is the dreaded AUTHORIPONY everpony, what a dastardly plan she has unleashed ..... but what will the duo of MBM FLEUR DEE LIS and KAZZOIE KUTTER do now, going up against THE B.A.R.R.I.E.R. who are even more powerful than anypony has realised!!!
<MBM FLEUR DEE LIS>that BITCH!!
<KAZZOIE KUTTER>we are so screwed!
<MISS RAVEN>you are a dispicable pony TRIPLE F!
<QUEEN OF HEARTS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>the F.A.N. forums are the greatest thing on the internet right now .....
<GYMKHANA ROSS>geez, the queen really is delusional .....
*end titles*
?
