i hate my brother...

[midicai]

hes a 23 year old drug addict who still lives at home, if that isnt bad enough, he treats my parents like shit, acts like his views on everything are fact, and yet my parents still dont throw him out! before you say i should appriciate having him around, no i shouldnt, hes an arrogant bastard who mooches off mum and dad while insulting me, my mum and dad and anyone else who comes to the house.
Anyone else got a worthless family member?

[grapejellydoesit]

Where would I begin??? I have a step brother who is about 50 years old. Hasn't held a job for more than six months at a time. Drinks and does drugs....(kinda like skitlles, a rainbow of colors). I've got another step brother who's 48 years old and is the same with the exception that he's a hard worker. Got a step sister who's 45 years old and got her kid taken away from her when she was 21. She could have gotten him back if she took parenting classes but I guess there wasn't enough coke or hash in it for her. Another step sister who's 47 years old left her perfect life with her doctor husband and brilliant child to go be with a coke dealing drug taking dips**t. Is that enough for ya? You asked for worthless.....I think I came thru.

[tardis99]

I think that your problem with your brother is not that you hate who he is but rather the fact that he is somehow eclipsing your rise from adolescence into manhood. It's not done through intention but it's perfectly natural that you hold some kind of resentment towards him. Afterall by not becoming the man you both aspire for him and yourself to become he is somehow stunting the exepectations that you may have of yourself for when you bloom into the years of your independence. Indeed by being an 'anti-role model' for you, it's quite possible that his antics has installed hate towards him in you because you fear that one day you might some how emulate your brother. But I wouldn't worry it's perfectly natural especially with siblings and I'm sure the feelings are mutual although for very different reasons. I'm one of three and there are certainly many things about my brothers that I don't like and I'm sure that they feel the same about me.

[tardis99]

THis thread is the perfect opportunity to talk about my Dad...

He and my mother are not together, they split when I was very young. So anway he wasn't a part of my life until I reached the age of 13 when during one of those excruciating clothes shops with Mom episodes she spotted him out of the window and pointed him out to me. So it was ME who foud him, he didn't take that much of an interest before.

..so anyways many many years past and since last year he's been taking regular trips to Tunsia where this young slut who probably thinks he is a lot wealthier than he is got her claws into him. Ever since then he's been sending across money to her. $500 one month, $300 the next...a constant stream of cash that he is taking out loans and credit cards to fund it all. Last week I needed £30 to tie me over for a week. I wasn't in any way in financial trouble but I wasn't able to get my hands on any money for a few days so i needed some just to eat for the week. You know how much he spared? $5. I walked three miles to his house for five bucks. When I was there he was lavishing me of stories of his recent postcard (complete with $300 cheque) to Tunisia.

I wouldnt say I hate my Dad but I'm certainly not entirely fond of him and I expect the feeling is mutual. I think I'd be forgiven for not making the phone call to wish him a happy fathers day.

[kunswwfmark]

My biological father lives in Florida (he moved there when I was 5). I used to be somewhat close to him when I was little because I was there every other weekend or whatever and I have pretty fond memories of spending weekends with him and my half-brother (who lived with my father).

Well, until I was about 12 we kept in touch somewhat by talking twice a year and he would come up to visit once a year. I'd get birthday cards and Christmas cards with some cash (still do, actually) but he's never paid a dime in child support to my mother, who could really have used it.

Anyway, I don't see him much anymore. Maybe once every few years we'll go out to lunch at some shitty diner and have awkward conversations (the last time I saw him I told him I'd give him a call to set a time for lunch, and never did). I don't know. I don't call him to wish him a happy father's day or merry christmas or anything, but I do appreciate the small gestures he puts forth with the cards. It's just too little too late. I'd much rather show my gratitiude to my step-father, who I have a decent relationship with that's getting much better as I get older (I'm an only child and my step-father was never great with kids. Now that I'm older it's easier for him to talk and relate to me).

So, yeah, that's my family.

[JimHellwig]

Midicai, are you sure that we don't have the same brother! Is your's currently serving jail time too.

My brothers 26, he used to work, but hurt his shoulder. That was 3 years ago at least, he's been on a compensation plan through work ever since. He's more than capable of working but he insists that he can't because of his shoulder. He moved home recently after stealing from his landlord to buy drugs. He constantly breaks into my room, despite me having a lock on it. I started having to take my keyboard and mouse with me when I left so he wouldn't screw with my computer when I'am gone. What does he do, he breaks into my room and takes the motherboard out of my computer. He had some programs on it that he wanted off of it and he wouldn't give it back. He threatened to kill himself countless times with a knife, including once cutting my moms hand when she tried to stop him. If my parent's lock him out he says he'll kill himself. I came home for lunch one day and he attacked me because I didn't clean out a can of soup properly, so he started choking me until I would shake his hand.(you figure that one out) He's turned our new neighborhood into complete disaray. He's bought two computers in the past year and took them out of the house and left them at the drug dealers house. Of course he never got them back. He has stolen countless thing's over the years including my PS2 and games for drugs. About ten years ago my brother(and I use that term loosely)and another guy OD'd on drugs and were completely fried for about 3 days in the hospital. He refuses help and my parent's are constatnly trying to help him, but I think it's time they let him go. My parent's deserve alot more respect then that, my parents are nervous wreck when he's around. I've never seen my dad cry, but my brother has pulled it off.

I've basically disowned him as I haven't talked to him in over 3 or 4 month's despite living in the same house as him. When he get's out of jail I'm considering moving out, but I fear for my parents and what he might do to them. I could tell you more but frankly I'm tired of it.

[Erik Majorwitz]

I was adopted...

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

[Dr. T is an alien]

My mother's family is full of them. My mother moved across the country from Oregon back homw to Minnesota to help my grandfather out when my grandma died. She eventually moved in with him and took care of him. She has two surviving brothers, one who is a life-long druggie and the other one is a life-long ass. When my grandpa died last August, the drama really started. My grandpa had rewritten his will. My mom is the executor of the will, with me as her replacement if needed. My grandpa made sure that the druggie could always live in one of the houses that he owned, and that my mom inherited the family homestead (which means that eventually I inherit the land that has been in the family for about 150 years). The druggie-brother hasn't been any more of a burden than he has been for the last two decades, but the ass-brother has been worse than ever. Since he is the oldest, he feels that he should have inherited EVERYTHING. He did get some money, even though when Grandpa was alive he claimed that he did not want anything. He refused to help with Grandpa, but feels that my inheritance, as well as my mother's and my other uncle's, should be his. He has been stealing from my mother's property. He has been trying to get my other uncle both arrested and also thrown out of his home (which technically will be mine eventually as well. Both my mom and I will allow Russ to live there until he dies). I couldn't make it to the funeral, which was probably a good thing. I probably would have broken something of his if I had seen him. He caused a major disruption at the funeral, and he also wore a biker's outfit, complete with leather chaps, to the whole ordeal. If that was his best outfit, that would be one thing, but he actually is quite wealthy on his own. He did not need any inheritance. My mom is partly disabled herself, and needed the help almost as much as my uncle Russ. As soon as my mom can get everything in order I have already told her that she can sell the family farm in order to get away from her family. She said that she'll just move to wherever we decide to go, as my family is the only family that she gets along with now.

[The OP]

I feel for you Midcai. I have an older brother who acted very similarly for a couple of years. The biggest problem I had with his behavior is the bad example it set for our much younger brother (who was about 10 years old at the time) If your brother is truly as irrational as you make him sound, he might even be suffering from some sort of mild mental illness.

He still lives with my mom, but with the help of counseling, my brother is now working a job, and helping my mom around the house a lot, and treating her with a lot more respect. I wouldn't totally give up on your brother just yet. Remember, a 23 year old is still a very young person.

[Psy]

The reigning deadbeat in my family is my cousin. It's his fault that my grandmother is in such sad shape. He ruined her credit by signing up for multiple credit cards in her name, racking up more than $70,000 in debt while living with her. He lost her her house. It cost my parents upwards of $15,000 to bring her out here to live with us for a while, until they could get her set up in a home where she could at least be with friends. He has been arrested numerous times for embezzling, once for driving drunk and evading arrest, and has just recently stolen from his mother, my aunt, directly from her disability and then tried to cash in her life insurance policy. She's no great shakes either, mind, but she's laid up and couldn't do anything until her insurance agent called her and asked how she'd died. He got bailed out of jail by his grandparents on his father's side (no relation to me) because they think he's innocent. They always think that. I hope he gets raped in jail. That's about the worst thing I've wished upon someone, and I am sad to say I mean it whole-heartedly.