Steven Seagal's Energy Drink

[fuzzywarble, squat cobbler]

Would you drink this?

www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/article.asp?Id=0000006

[AnM is back]

Oh my God...not after reading that...it makes me sick just thinking about it.

[The Wraith]

The name Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt was an inevitable afterthought. When Steven Seagal finished creating a drink that holds untold natural power, there was only one equivalent in nature- The Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt. Both mysterious and powerful, it is a symbol of the untold energy the earth has to offer- Such is Steven Seagals [sic] Lighting Bolt energy drink.


I love that A) they admit the name of the drink was a total afterthought (ah crap, what do we call this s***?), B) they refer to him as "The Steven Seagal", and C) they insinuate that they named Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt after... Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt. Well, that sure clears everything up.

The site also promises that a free DVD about the drink will be offered soon. I'm f****** depressed now, because I know that will never happen.

Pure comedy.

[Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture]

Does the energy drink give you the ability to grow a huge stomach and make bad movies on USA?

[whothoughtofthis]

WHICH WOULD WIN HULK'S OR STEVEN'S?

[B.A.]

My first sip confirmed that yes, this was indeed the liquefied equivalent of a cherry flavored ashtray. However, I was able to see the positives in this. I mean, the flavor still made me feel like I was being hit by a tazer, but the cherry did cover up some of the nicotine aftertaste, making it marginally more tolerable.

After my third sip, I had endured over twenty combined chugs of this poison. I began to believe that if there is a Hell, there must be an open bar there, and this is the only drink they serve. In fact, there may be nothing else there: No flames, no whips, no tortured souls howling. Just Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt, Cherry Charge flavor. The rest of Hell probably looks like Pittsburgh.

oh god, I cant stop laughing at these reviews lol

[shiranui]

The best part of that review is when the guy starts feeling TIRED when drinking Seagal's energy drink.

[fuzzywarble, squat cobbler]

Steven Seagal Energy Drink: The anti-coffee.

[slik81]

whothoughtofthis said:

WHICH WOULD WIN HULK'S OR STEVEN'S?

Hogan. His energy drink induces leg drops.

[Deus Ex Machina]

I drink all sorts of energy drink.

I'd drink this if I could get it and wouldn't have to go out of my way to do so.

[Deleted]

Chuck Norris energy drink.......Yes

Seagal........No

[The Wraith]

I only drink Red Bull, and Full Throttle: Red Fury.

Stylin' and Profilin',
Texas Tornado

[tigermask]

slik81 said:

whothoughtofthis said:

WHICH WOULD WIN HULK'S OR STEVEN'S?

Hogan. His energy drink induces leg drops.

But it also shrinks testicles.

[EvilMasterBetty, Esq.]

that is one of the greatest reviews ever.

I seriously have to try this crap now. Just to see how bad it really is.

[Kevin Hamilton]

I'm sticking with what got Belushi to the Olympics. Lil Chocolate Donuts.

[EvilMasterBetty, Esq.]

jackrabbitslim said:

I'm sticking with what got Belushi to the Olympics. Lil Chocolate Donuts.

Lil Chocolate Donuts = Cocaine?

[Kevin Hamilton]

Nah in this case there's no euphemism.. I was referring to the skit where Belushi insteada being on a Wheaties box for olympic achievement attributed his success to lil choc. donuts.