Post by Virt McGirt on Jun 13, 2006 14:16:16 GMT -5
Granted, it happened earlier this morning, but I'm barely listening to the replay, so here's a quick recap of the interview for those who care:
SCREECH’S PROBLEMS AT HOME
Dustin Diamond, better known as Screech from “Saved by the Bell,” came into the studio to talk about a problem he’s been having with his finances. Dustin reported he made about $2 million during his 10-year run on “Saved by the Bell,” but, before he turned 18, his parents allegedly took all but the 25 percent of his earnings, which he said ruined his credit. Dustin told how he moved into a house in Milwaukee four years ago and is now in danger of losing it. Dustin went on to explain that he couldn’t get a regular loan because of his poor credit, so, when he was looking for one, he had to rely on a land contract offered to him by someone who promised to help him. However, Dustin added the man in question now wants the house and, unless he can come up with $250,000 to pay for it, he’ll lose it to the guy who has called in his loan.
CHIPPING AWAY THE BEST HE CAN
Given his situation, Dustin announced he’s selling "D-Shirts" with the message “I paid $15 to save Screech’s house” on them with the hope of raising enough money to keep his house. Dustin acknowledged that he has to sell close to 30,000 shirts – which he noted are going for $15 for regular shirts and $20 for autographed ones – to supplement the income he makes as a standup in order to make the $250,000. Feeling charitable, Artie invited him to perform with him at his upcoming shows in Pittsburgh at $1,000 per show. Dustin agreed to open for Artie and also pointed out his fiance, Jennifer, is from Pittsburgh. Following Artie’s offer, George acknowledged he was seeing “the soul” in Artie. Howard, George and Artie proceeded to each buy a “D-shirt” from Dustin, with George being the only one requesting an autograph.
ONE MAN’S DREAM IS ANOTHER MAN’S BURDEN
Dustin recalled how he met Jennifer while they were both in line at Arby’s and he heard her laughing at the jokes he was telling the woman taking his order. As Dustin proceeded to describe how he introduced himself to Jennifer, Robin asked George, who mentioned yesterday that he owns a bank, if he’d be willing to lend Dustin a hand in getting back his house. George responded by first calling Robin “a rascal” and then commenting that there are three elements his bank scrutinizes when it comes to giving loans. However, after George mentioned the first two examples – which were “character” and “assets” – Howard joked the third element was “a big c*ck.” This led Dustin to reveal that that was the one requirement he’d be able to meet, announcing his member is more than 10 inches long.
Dustin claimed that, contrary to popular belief, having a member as big as his is “a curse” because of how painful it can be for his sex partners, as well as how inconvenient it is in his everyday life. Sal and Richard then came into the studio and offered Dustin $500 to perform various stunts – including receiving a naked lap dance from Richard, eating a Devil Dog out of Sal’s backside and accepting a teabag – but he wouldn’t agree to any of them.
A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
Dustin’s fiancé, Jennifer, came into the studio and admitted she was “afraid” the first time she saw Dustin’s member, but also mentioned she now likes sex with him so much that she’d stay with him for the size of his member alone. Dustin went on to say he doesn’t wear condoms because he can’t find any that fit him properly, adding even Magnums are “snug.” Artie then pointed out he has the opposite problem and that the sides of his condom boxes all have “Ha ha” written on them.
LEARN TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THE MEMBER
Dustin mentioned he has a problem using the bathroom because his member hangs into the toilet water and added he can’t stand at a urinal because of his size. Artie then mentioned he doesn’t like using urinals either, but his problem stems from the fact that when he goes “it looks like a stream of water coming out of a stomach.” As Dustin continued to say how troublesome his member size was, Howard acknowledged he didn’t care about his house problems anymore, adding that “Dustin and his big thingy could be homeless” for all he cared. Artie agreed with Howard’s assessment of the situation and advised Dustin to not bring up his 10-inch member when asking people for money.
Contributions by: Thomas Panasci (webmaster@howardstern.com) & Jason Kaplan (sternshowjay@hotmail.com)
SCREECH’S PROBLEMS AT HOME
Dustin Diamond, better known as Screech from “Saved by the Bell,” came into the studio to talk about a problem he’s been having with his finances. Dustin reported he made about $2 million during his 10-year run on “Saved by the Bell,” but, before he turned 18, his parents allegedly took all but the 25 percent of his earnings, which he said ruined his credit. Dustin told how he moved into a house in Milwaukee four years ago and is now in danger of losing it. Dustin went on to explain that he couldn’t get a regular loan because of his poor credit, so, when he was looking for one, he had to rely on a land contract offered to him by someone who promised to help him. However, Dustin added the man in question now wants the house and, unless he can come up with $250,000 to pay for it, he’ll lose it to the guy who has called in his loan.
CHIPPING AWAY THE BEST HE CAN
Given his situation, Dustin announced he’s selling "D-Shirts" with the message “I paid $15 to save Screech’s house” on them with the hope of raising enough money to keep his house. Dustin acknowledged that he has to sell close to 30,000 shirts – which he noted are going for $15 for regular shirts and $20 for autographed ones – to supplement the income he makes as a standup in order to make the $250,000. Feeling charitable, Artie invited him to perform with him at his upcoming shows in Pittsburgh at $1,000 per show. Dustin agreed to open for Artie and also pointed out his fiance, Jennifer, is from Pittsburgh. Following Artie’s offer, George acknowledged he was seeing “the soul” in Artie. Howard, George and Artie proceeded to each buy a “D-shirt” from Dustin, with George being the only one requesting an autograph.
ONE MAN’S DREAM IS ANOTHER MAN’S BURDEN
Dustin recalled how he met Jennifer while they were both in line at Arby’s and he heard her laughing at the jokes he was telling the woman taking his order. As Dustin proceeded to describe how he introduced himself to Jennifer, Robin asked George, who mentioned yesterday that he owns a bank, if he’d be willing to lend Dustin a hand in getting back his house. George responded by first calling Robin “a rascal” and then commenting that there are three elements his bank scrutinizes when it comes to giving loans. However, after George mentioned the first two examples – which were “character” and “assets” – Howard joked the third element was “a big c*ck.” This led Dustin to reveal that that was the one requirement he’d be able to meet, announcing his member is more than 10 inches long.
Dustin claimed that, contrary to popular belief, having a member as big as his is “a curse” because of how painful it can be for his sex partners, as well as how inconvenient it is in his everyday life. Sal and Richard then came into the studio and offered Dustin $500 to perform various stunts – including receiving a naked lap dance from Richard, eating a Devil Dog out of Sal’s backside and accepting a teabag – but he wouldn’t agree to any of them.
A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
Dustin’s fiancé, Jennifer, came into the studio and admitted she was “afraid” the first time she saw Dustin’s member, but also mentioned she now likes sex with him so much that she’d stay with him for the size of his member alone. Dustin went on to say he doesn’t wear condoms because he can’t find any that fit him properly, adding even Magnums are “snug.” Artie then pointed out he has the opposite problem and that the sides of his condom boxes all have “Ha ha” written on them.
LEARN TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THE MEMBER
Dustin mentioned he has a problem using the bathroom because his member hangs into the toilet water and added he can’t stand at a urinal because of his size. Artie then mentioned he doesn’t like using urinals either, but his problem stems from the fact that when he goes “it looks like a stream of water coming out of a stomach.” As Dustin continued to say how troublesome his member size was, Howard acknowledged he didn’t care about his house problems anymore, adding that “Dustin and his big thingy could be homeless” for all he cared. Artie agreed with Howard’s assessment of the situation and advised Dustin to not bring up his 10-inch member when asking people for money.
Contributions by: Thomas Panasci (webmaster@howardstern.com) & Jason Kaplan (sternshowjay@hotmail.com)
