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Post by Psy on Jun 15, 2006 4:05:24 GMT -5
Make up your own news story and share it with us. Mine is entitled:
Stupid Kids Drinks Motor Oil AP Somewhere in Florida - A child is dead today after drinking 4 quarts of Castrol GTX motor oil in what friends say was an attempt to turn into a 'Transformer'.
"He was always talking about that stuff," says 8 year-old friend Julie. "I hated him."
"Yeah, I told him that he could turn into a car or something if he drank enough of that oil," says 9 year-old other brother Eddie. "But I liiiiiiiiiiiiied, Holmes!"
"He was a very honest, very loving, very open-hearted child and we'll all miss him very much," says the boy's mother. "But he really wasn't more than meets the eye."
The boy, left unnamed because his real name is silly and would detract from the seriousness of this issue, is survived by a bastard of an older brother, a mother, presumably a father, and some cats or something. Also, that might not have been his mother, but a hooker I pay to play 'pretend' while she choked me.
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Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
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Post by Erik Majorwitz on Jun 15, 2006 4:07:48 GMT -5
Sadly, this will be reported as real news somewhere.
Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
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Post by Baixo Astral on Jun 15, 2006 4:17:28 GMT -5
Horse Chokes out Professional Wrestler
In a bizarre incident yesterday in Podunk, Mass., yesterday, a 13-year-old dappled mare named Shellyan Orphan choked unconcious veteran wrestler Todd Blankenshipstein.
Apparently Mr. Blankenshipstein, who had been working as a groom for Allen Shipsbergerveldt Stables and Horse Hotel, became incensed at the supposed mockery he was receiving from Shellyan Orphan. Witnesses to the event state that Blankenshipstein was attempting to tell the horse stories of his days in the Memphis territory, but grew gradually more agitated as Shellyan Orphan bared her teeth at him and snorted. He then leapt atop the horse and attempted to put it in a triangle choke.
However, as one eyewitness states, "Dat hoss done throwed Todd right over, and den kneeled down on his neck till he gone out like a bedside lantern when your two country cuzzins come a-callin'". Paramedics report that Blankenshipstein was intoxicated on a mix of whisky and oats, although he now apparently in a stable condition in Boston General Hospital.
Both Allen Shipsbergerveldt Stables and Horse Hotel, and Shellyan Orphan, were unavailable for comment at this time.
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Post by slik81 on Jun 15, 2006 8:48:58 GMT -5
(I thought this was going to be a post about FOX News)
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MichaelRBoh
Unicron
cowpee changed gimmick
Posts: 3,301
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Post by MichaelRBoh on Jun 15, 2006 8:57:34 GMT -5
Make up your own news story and share it with us. Mine is entitled: Stupid Kids Drinks Motor Oil AP Somewhere in Florida - A child is dead today after drinking 4 quarts of Castrol GTX motor oil in what friends say was an attempt to turn into a 'Transformer'. "He was always talking about that stuff," says 8 year-old friend Julie. "I hated him." "Yeah, I told him that he could turn into a car or something if he drank enough of that oil," says 9 year-old other brother Eddie. "But I liiiiiiiiiiiiied, Holmes!" "He was a very honest, very loving, very open-hearted child and we'll all miss him very much," says the boy's mother. "But he really wasn't more than meets the eye." The boy, left unnamed because his real name is silly and would detract from the seriousness of this issue, is survived by a bastard of an older brother, a mother, presumably a father, and some cats or something. Also, that might not have been his mother, but a hooker I pay to play 'pretend' while she choked me. that sounds pretty reeeal, to me.
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Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
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Post by Erik Majorwitz on Jun 15, 2006 8:59:12 GMT -5
(I thought this was going to be a post about FOX News) No, that would be CNN. Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
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MichaelRBoh
Unicron
cowpee changed gimmick
Posts: 3,301
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Post by MichaelRBoh on Jun 15, 2006 9:00:31 GMT -5
(I thought this was going to be a post about FOX News) No, that would be CNN. Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz ^I agree with that ;D
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Post by KStrick on Jun 15, 2006 10:00:55 GMT -5
No, that would be EVERY news source...
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Post by wrestlesmarks on Jun 15, 2006 10:12:40 GMT -5
(I thought this was going to be a post about FOX News) No, that would be CNN. Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz Yep. For GOD, Country, Corp. LCpl. Ubermark
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Post by tigermask on Jun 15, 2006 10:14:23 GMT -5
Man finds toe after twelve years.
In a shocker of an incident, Billy Watziniam finnaly found his toe after about twelve years looking for it.
"Yo dawg, it's been 12 big ones since I lost it, yo."
Watziniam found it after looking in his fridge.
"I was looking for some mustard for my sandwich, and waza! I found it."
The toe, who Billy has christened 'Jimmy Hoffa', was unharmed, with only a few cuts and scrapes. After looking down, however, Billy thought he lost it.
"I looked down after grabbing the mustard, and there it was, on my foot!"
"This is the greatest night in the history of our sport" said Tony S, a family friend.
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Post by OGBoardPoster2005 on Jun 15, 2006 10:15:10 GMT -5
Joey Braxtan dies of Drug Overdose
Maryland,
20 year old Night Janitor at Wal Mart,Joey Braxtan died today from an overdose caused by the fact that he can care less about working there so instead of quitting he killed himself.
Details at 11...
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Post by OGBoardPoster2005 on Jun 15, 2006 10:19:39 GMT -5
Man Dies from Broken Neck AP Asslick,Kentucky - 34 year old Mike Thomas died today from a broken neck while trying to suck his own dick.His "wife" was interviewed regarding his death,"He said that he was going to use the bathroom",she says."Well after about 4 hours I started getting worried when he was still in there the next thing I know his dick is in his mouth and his neck is shattered.His neighbor 14 year old,Dean Michael Sanders was asked about his reaction,"What a fag" he said.
Details and Photos at 11....
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Post by bruteshot79 on Jun 15, 2006 10:23:08 GMT -5
Speaking of fake news, anyone here ever read The Onion?
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