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Post by Harry The Arrow was Wrong! on Nov 8, 2014 10:54:39 GMT -5
"So son, what would you like for Christmas?"
"Did you f*** my mom?"
"What?"
"Did you f*** my mom?"
"What do you mean? I uh..."
"Did you f*** my mom Santa Claus? Did you f*** her? DID YOU f*** MY f***ING MOM?"
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Post by Mid-Carder on Nov 8, 2014 10:59:36 GMT -5
"If it's a boy, they're gonna name him Rodney, after Dave"
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Post by Citizen Snips on Nov 8, 2014 11:12:18 GMT -5
"Well, well, well! The most diabolical haters this side of the Mississippi. Buc Nasty, what can I say about that suit that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? It looks bombed out, and depleted. And of course, the so-called "Beautiful". Why don't you click your heels together three times, and go back to Africa? And as for you, Boss Hogg, very insulting what you said about my coat. It's made out of your mother's pubic hair."
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Post by hossfan on Nov 8, 2014 11:21:45 GMT -5
"Get me my BLUE WINDBREAKERRRRR!!!!!!"
"I want you to do something for me Pete. I want you to get a cardboard box, and put all your stuff in it."
"What do you say we guys go down to the beach, and shoot some clams?"
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Knailsic From Now On
Dennis Stamp
Loneliest Number Since #1
Waiting with my red eyes and my stone heart
Posts: 4,365 
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Post by Knailsic From Now On on Nov 8, 2014 12:05:57 GMT -5
"I, on the other hand, am a fully rounded human being with a degree from the university of life, a diploma from the school of hard knocks, and three gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me."
-Captain Edmund Blackadder
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Post by Jedi-El of Tomorrow on Nov 8, 2014 12:46:19 GMT -5
I'm going to spoiler it because it's long. It's from Angel {Spoiler}Gunn: "So all that power tips the scales crap?"
Angel: "It's true. We're in a machine. The machine's going to be here long after our bodies are dust. But the Senior Partners will always exist in one form or another because mankind is weak."
Lorne: "Do you want me to point my crossbow at him, because I think he's going to start talking about ants again."
Angel: "We are weak. The powerful control everything, except our will to choose. Look Lindsey's a pathetic halfwit, but he was right about one thing. Heroes don't accept the way the world is. The Senior Partners may be eternal, but we can make their existence painful."
Wesley: "You wanna take them on."
Angel: "We're in a machine, the Black Thorn runs it. We can bring their gears to a grinding halt, even if it's just for a moment."
Spike: "About time we got our hands dirty."
Angel: "This isn't a keep fighting the good fight kind of deal. Let's be clear I'm talking about killing every single member of the Black Thorn. We don't walk away from that."
Lorne: "Do we crawl away at least?"
Angel: "We do this, the Senior Partners will rain their full wrath. They'll make an example of us. I'm talking full-on hell, not the basic fire and brimstone kind we're used to."
Gunn: "We know the drill."
Angel: "No, you don't. 10-to-1, we're gone when the smoke clears. They will do everything in their power to destroy us. So I need you to be sure. Power endures. We can't bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright, shining moment, we can show them that they don't own us. You need to decide for yourselves if that's worth dying for. I can't order you to do this. I can't do it without you. So we'll vote. As a team. Think about what I'm asking you to do, think about what I'm asking you to give."
Spike: "Kill 'em all, burn the house down while we're still in it."
Angel: "Something like that." And another one from Angel, from the series finale. Illyria: "I wish to do more violence." Spike: "Well wishes just happen to be horses today." Angel: "Among other things." Gunn: "OK, you take the 30,000 on the left..." Illyria: "You're fading, you'll last 10 minutes at best." Gunn: "Then let's make 'em memorable." Spike: "In terms of a plan?" Angel: "We fight." Spike: "Bit more specific." Angel: "Well personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work." Something from Firefly Mal: "You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake. You'll be facing me, and you'll be armed." |
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Post by King Boo on Nov 8, 2014 12:50:00 GMT -5
"As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly." (WKRP In Cincinnati classic.) YES. I offer one of my faves from a classic: "Hey, what do you say we guys go down to the beach and shoot some clams?" |
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Nr1Humanoid
Hank Scorpio
Is the #3 humanoid at best.
Posts: 5,605
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Post by Nr1Humanoid on Nov 8, 2014 13:44:28 GMT -5
"Indeed."
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Crappler El 0 M
Dalek
Never Forgets an Octagon
I'm a good R-Truth.
Posts: 58,479
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Post by Crappler El 0 M on Nov 8, 2014 13:57:29 GMT -5
-Fellas, don't drink that coffee! You're not gonna believe this, there was a fish in the percolator! -What are we doing? Selling ourselves, selling everything. (the rest is spoilered for size) {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}"Happiest day of my life. Oh, quick, I'd better do the invites and bake a cake -- and get a press tent. Must have a press tent. It's a wedding." You know, "I must see pictures of myself with other people I'm in a program with. Oh, and now I'm pregnant! Maybe we should televise the birth, get Ruby Wax to present it.
Maybe it'll make Jimmy Carr's Hundred Greatest Caesarians." I'm not having a go at you. I'm just sick of these celebrities, living their life out in the open all the time. Why would you do that? It's like these pop stars who choose the perfect moment to go into rehab. They call their publicist before they call a taxi! And then they come out and they do their second autobiography. "This one's called Love Me or I'll Kill Myself!" Oh, kill yourself then. And the papers lap it up. They follow us round, and that makes people think we're important, and that makes us think we're important. If they stopped following us round taking pictures of us, people wouldn't take to the streets going, "Ooh, quick, I need a picture of Cameron Diaz with a pimple!"
They wouldn't care, they'd get on with something else! They'd get on with their lives. You open the paper, and you see a picture of Lindsay Lohan getting out of a car, and the headline is, "Cover up, Lindsay, we can see your knickers!" Course you can see her knickers; your photographer is lying in the road, pointing his camera up her dress, to see her knickers! You're literally the gutter press. And f*** you, the makers of this show, as well! You can't wash your hands of this, you can't keep going, "Oh, it's exploitation but it's what the public want!" No! The Victorian freak show never went away. Now it's called Big Brother. Or The X Factor, where in the preliminary rounds, we wheel out the bewildered to be sniggered at by multi-millionaires.
And f*** you for watching this at home. Shame on you. And shame on me. I'm the worst of all, 'cause I'm one of these people that goes, "Oh, I'm an entertainer. It's in my blood." Yeah, it's in my blood 'cause a real job's too hard. I would've loved to've been a doctor; Too hard, didn't want to put the work in. Love to be a war hero; I'm too scared. So I go, "It's what I do." And I have someone bollocked if my cappucino's cold, or if they look at me the wrong way.
Do you know what a friend of mine once said? They said I'll never be happy 'cause I'll never be famous enough. And they were right. And if you're watching this, I'm so sorry. You're my best friend. You're my only friend. And you never did anything wrong. It was everything else. And I'll never do that again, I'll never treat you like that again. And it's eating at me -- you asked me a stupid question once, and I just- I could have answered it, and I didn't, 'cause I was -- I'll answer it now... I'd be the penguin. 'Cause I could eat the flying fish. I know what you're thinking: why doesn't the fish fly away? Well, they can't really fly, they sort of glide and flap; they should be called "glidey flappy" fish. I'm so sorry....
I'm gonna go now. Cheers. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2014 14:00:29 GMT -5
"Shut up, Josh!"
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Post by Mrs. Potato Dick on Nov 8, 2014 17:41:16 GMT -5
Anything that has ever left the mouth of Ron Swanson.
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Nov 8, 2014 21:04:10 GMT -5
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FREAKING CAR?!?!?!"
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Post by hossfan on Nov 8, 2014 21:59:26 GMT -5
"I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!"
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Post by Stone Coke Miami Watson 🥃 on Nov 9, 2014 2:46:42 GMT -5
"If I blaze up, you ain't gonna get all piggly-wiggly on me are ya?"
(Mike and Molly)
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4real
Wade Wilson
Posts: 28,962
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Post by 4real on Nov 9, 2014 11:45:19 GMT -5
"Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The hanging gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically..."
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Hanzo
Dennis Stamp
"You want Cena to go to ECW?!"
Posts: 4,666
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Post by Hanzo on Nov 9, 2014 16:47:55 GMT -5
"I love you all. Class dismissed."
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Post by Harry The Arrow was Wrong! on Nov 9, 2014 17:37:31 GMT -5
"You know, for woman without a heart, Genevieve Teague certainly did have a lot of blood."
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Post by Jedi-El of Tomorrow on Nov 9, 2014 17:39:23 GMT -5
"You know us billionaire vigilantes, we do love our toys."
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ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,827
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Post by ERON on Nov 9, 2014 23:04:13 GMT -5
"Ivan...did you see the sun rise this morning?"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2014 23:26:29 GMT -5
Fry: "I betcha Leela's holding out for a nice guy with one eye."
Bender: "That'll take forever. What she oughta do is find a nice guy with two eyes and poke one out."
Fry: "Yeah, that'd be a time saver."
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