Want to be a glorious unicorn like The New Day? Now you can!

[EoE: Well There's Your Problem]

With this new novelty headband item from the good people at WWEShop!

[________ has left the building]

Keep making that money, New Day.

[Apricots And A Pear Tree]

I've seen things like those before in special movies.

[Deleted]

I've heard Perry Saturn talk about something like this in a shoot interview.

[Deleted]

Apparently New Day's merch sales are knocking on Cena's door, is that correct? Somebody just told me this but eh, I don't know.

[baracklesnar]

You'll put your eye out, kid.

["Evil Brood" Jackson Vanik]

I am pretty sure I've already seen pictures of Sunny using that on Skype.

[Starshine]

I know there was a thread talking about a WWE strap on sometime last week, but I didn't expect this.

[mrbananagrabber]

WWE tapping into that lucrative Brony market.

[DZ: WF Legacy]

I like New Day, but the unicorn stuff is a bit much...

[Lancers]

NEW DAY UNICORN HEADGEAR ALREADY PULLED FROM WWESHOP.COM

WWE superstars The New Day have been quickly accumulating quite a bit of merchandise over the past few months. Earlier today, WWE released a unicorn headband that lights up. However, the publicly traded company immediately has taken down the newest merch due to concerns over safety.

"Imagine if someone gets stabbed in the eye with one of these things" said WWE Assistant VP of Marketing Todd Bougnanon. "We have a lawsuit on our hands. The edge is pretty sharp and you imagine if you get about 300 of these snot nosed children and sexually repressed adults running around a busy auditorium wearing these things on their heads, someone's getting gored pretty badly. It's simply not worth the risk."

"You can also jam it up someone's cornhole," said Dusty Chodes, recently retired pornographic film star who now owns a coffee and sex shop in New Haven. "Think about all the holes in the human body you can insert this into and just imagine if you cut the headband off the limitless possibilities you have wearing the unicorn horn while you're sodomizing your lover. And plus with the glowing lights they do emanate a little heat so it makes it even more pleasurable for the masochists."

We even reached out to other former WWE personalities to get their thoughts.

"You seriously called me up to ask me if I ever stuck a unicorn horn up my ass?" inquired Harley Race. "I'm gonna find out where you live and I'm going to pulverize your face beyond recognition. The only way the coroner can identify your body is pulling your teeth out of your own ass to retrieve your dental records."

Wrestletaint.gov

[EoE: Well There's Your Problem]

Big E is going to end up on some kind of sex offender list by the end of the decade.

[Finish Uncle Muffin’s Story]

Man, you'd think they would have given this particular piece of merch to the Submission Society instead...

...but seriously, it's a dildo, right?

[Mr T L Wolf]

Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.

[CATCH_US IS the Conversation]

Dec 7, 2015 19:34:58 GMT -5 Mr T L Wolf said:

Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.

[CATCH_US IS the Conversation]

Dec 7, 2015 17:59:39 GMT -5 Lancers said:

someone's getting gored pretty badly.

[Sephiroth]

Dec 7, 2015 18:05:51 GMT -5 EoE: Well There's Your Problem said:

Big E is going to end up on some kind of sex offender list by the end of the decade.

Big E is so effing creepy