How do you deal with a bed hog?

[The Unconquered Sun]

So something scared my daughter last night and she wanted to sleep with me. I was too out of it to argue, so munchkin curled up with me and went to sleep. This morning I found myself about half a millimeter from falling off the bed.
it's queen sized. We could have slept in differant time zones and still each had plenty of room. Instead I found myself in a Sardine can.
So how do you deal with the bed hog in your life? That person that takes up all of their space and 99% of yours? Yes, that includes pets.

[Deleted]

After 18 years of sharing a bed with the Mrs., believe it or not your body get accustomed to it. The wife has two-to-three blankets, a body pillow and we share a queen-sized bed with a black Lab.

[Deleted]

Wife and I share a queen size, and she steals three quarters of the bed and ninety percent of the covers. If I wake up cold, I just snuggle her closer.

Now when my German Shepard jumps in once in awhile, it's a different story, but he usually wants to lay on my stomach and chest like a baby. It's so cute that I can't be mad for more than 5 seconds.

[Sephiroth]

The cat stays on her side of the line, I stay on mine

[Hit Girl]

I'd just sleep on them.

[Phil Parent]

Me and my wife share a queen size, and like everyone else she takes most of the space and all the covers. She wraps herself into them too, I don't know how she does it without me realising it, we go to bed and it's all even, then I wake up, she's spread like an eagle wrapped up tight like a mummy in the big warm cover, and I get a piece of that little thin sheet left on me.

She's 5'10", 200 pounds. I'm 6'5", 305. What she can do without waking me defies f***ing physics. I think it's the same principle as tree roots going through rocks.

One time I picked a piece of the mummy that was sticking out as she was sleeping and pulled on it hard. I rolled her like 270 degrees. She then groaned, pulled on the sheet, wrapped herself back, and rolled herself back in position while mumbling about being cold.

Eventually I just bought a second sheet, so when she mummies up, I got a spare. And for the space, I push on her with my ass. Efficient enough.

[MrBRulzOK]

Well I don't usually let hogs sleep on my bed.

No offense, Mister Pigwell

[Deleted]

I'm a bed hogs worst nightmare. I toss and turn a lot when I sleep. I have accidentally elbowed,backhanded, and kneed girls while I was asleep tossing and turning. I always wakeup warm usually

[Hit Girl]

Jan 17, 2016 13:07:10 GMT -5 @supersweetbotch said:

I'm a bed hogs worst nightmare. I toss and turn a lot when I sleep. I have accidentally elbowed,backhanded, and kneed girls while I was asleep tossing and turning. I always wakeup warm usually

Covered in their blood?

[Deleted]

Jan 17, 2016 12:54:00 GMT -5 MrBRulzOK said:

Well I don't usually let hogs sleep on my bed.

No offense, Mister Pigwell

That's not what the dirt sheets say.

[edgestar]

I sleep alone, but I'm a kicker, so there's that

[drjayphd (feat. Pitbull)]

Feed her, love her and let her out when she whines?

Seriously, our dog would snuggle up to me, then stretch her legs out to try and push my ex-wife out of the bed. Even when we had a king-size bed, Maggie wanted ALL OF IT.

[Deleted]

Using the ancient art of farting gives me the whole room usually.

[Deleted]

Make bed bacon .

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

Jan 17, 2016 13:07:10 GMT -5 @supersweetbotch said:

I'm a bed hogs worst nightmare. I toss and turn a lot when I sleep. I have accidentally elbowed,backhanded, and kneed girls while I was asleep tossing and turning. I always wakeup warm usually

I'm bad for this too apparently. Ended up elbowing one of my ex's right in the kidney, then spreading out when she got out of bed in pain.

That's not why she's my ex, I'd like to clarify. But it probably didn't help.