Oldest daughter went to Jr. prom tonight...

[CMPunkyBrewster]

And I'm a little emotional.

First off, let me just state that she is my step-daughter legally, but this girl is my daughter. The "step" part is totally unnecessary, but it important to the story later.

I've been in her life since she was 12, and I have been a stay-at-home dad (when not touring) for her and my other 9 year old "step" daughter for the last 4 years. She is EERILY like me, to the point where my mom asked my wife at one point "How is this child not his?" We're incredibly close, she's even told me before that I am her best friend. What 17 year old girl says that and actually means it?

Anyway, it was a little rough for me watching her get ready and leave with her date. Luckily, I have a lifetime's worth of practice at burying emotions, so she never really saw it. But now that she's gone...I'm allowing myself to be a little bit of a mess.

She looked so beautiful and grown up. So far removed from the 12 year old girl she was when we came into each other's lives. It's hard to believe that in less than 10 months, she'll be an adult getting ready to go to college. It makes me proud, but sad at the same time. I'm going to miss her so f***ing bad when she's gone. Never enough time.

She messaged me a little bit ago. Her and her biological father don't have a very good relationship, on account of him being too busy supporting a useless woman who refuses to work and her 2 equally useless kids (I don't talk that way about kids usually, but believe me, I have reasons for these 2). I don't think she has even actually spoken to him in 6 months or more, let alone actually seen him.

When she messaged me, she asked "Is it bad that I'm a little upset that my dad hasn't said anything to me about prom?" (Yeah, he's one of those pricks)

I also don't have a very good relationship with my dad. I actually haven't spoken to him in over a year, and it was sporadic even before that. And when she asked me that, it broke my f***ing heart. Because I know how she feels. My exact response was "No, it isn't bad. Believe me, I know what it's like to have a dad you can't stand. No matter what, you always kinda want them to be a part of shit. But it's up to them to do it or not. And if he ain't gonna do it, then f*** him. Don't let him occupy a space in your mind tonight. Have a great time and focus on that. Tonight happens once in your life, hating your dad is forever."

(And yeah, I know most people don't talk that way with their kids, but you have to understand that NOTHING about my family is traditional. But we're loving and close knit, and that's what matters.)

So now, not only am I dealing with whatever the hell you call this emotion that happens when you're happy and sad and proud all at the same time, but I'm fighting off the urge to drive to her biological's house and kick his f***ing teeth in for hurting my little girl.

Anyway...I just needed to blow off some steam. Any words of encouragement or advice are appreciated. Just please don't encourage me to go whip her biological dad's ass, because I am already teetering too close to that brink lol.

[edgestar]

I went to my senior prom.. 12 years ago, and I'll be 30 this Tuesday

I understand your being emotional, and "step" is just an optional word. It sounds like she loves you like a father. I hope that you will always have that close relationship. I hope that she has a wonderful time at her prom, and I hope that you are doing well also.

[Fade]

Kudos for trying to be a good Dad man...ain't a lot of em out there. (I hate my Dad too).

[SmashTV]

You're a good guy, my friend, and I think that the fact she confides in you as she does speaks volumes. Just because she's getting older, doesn't mean the relationship will change, you'll still have that relationship.

As for the emotional side of things, I don't have kids (though my partner has two, but they're adults now) but I saw the sadness/pride expression on my Dad's face when my sister got married. I think it's the sort of emotion that only a parent or family member can feel, and the closest word I can think to describe it is 'bittersweet'. All credit to you for being there for your family.

[Futureraven: Beelzebruv]

You sound like an amazing dad, that's 100% what you are.

That other guy, he's just a donor. Be angry sure, but you are there for all this amazing relationship and family, best thing you can do is just let them be an asshole and not have what you do, because that's the most precious thing in the world.

[ronin705]

toast to you my man, means you did a solid job making sure she was safe, and hopefully ready for the post secondary world. i got a glass to toast in the air in ur direction

[Alucard]

Apr 28, 2017 19:41:50 GMT -5 CMPunkyBrewster said:

And I'm a little emotional.

First off, let me just state that she is my step-daughter legally, but this girl is my daughter. The "step" part is totally unnecessary, but it important to the story later.

I've been in her life since she was 12, and I have been a stay-at-home dad (when not touring) for her and my other 9 year old "step" daughter for the last 4 years. She is EERILY like me, to the point where my mom asked my wife at one point "How is this child not his?" We're incredibly close, she's even told me before that I am her best friend. What 17 year old girl says that and actually means it?

Anyway, it was a little rough for me watching her get ready and leave with her date. Luckily, I have a lifetime's worth of practice at burying emotions, so she never really saw it. But now that she's gone...I'm allowing myself to be a little bit of a mess.

She looked so beautiful and grown up. So far removed from the 12 year old girl she was when we came into each other's lives. It's hard to believe that in less than 10 months, she'll be an adult getting ready to go to college. It makes me proud, but sad at the same time. I'm going to miss her so f***ing bad when she's gone. Never enough time.

She messaged me a little bit ago. Her and her biological father don't have a very good relationship, on account of him being too busy supporting a useless woman who refuses to work and her 2 equally useless kids (I don't talk that way about kids usually, but believe me, I have reasons for these 2). I don't think she has even actually spoken to him in 6 months or more, let alone actually seen him.

When she messaged me, she asked "Is it bad that I'm a little upset that my dad hasn't said anything to me about prom?" (Yeah, he's one of those pricks)

I also don't have a very good relationship with my dad. I actually haven't spoken to him in over a year, and it was sporadic even before that. And when she asked me that, it broke my f***ing heart. Because I know how she feels. My exact response was "No, it isn't bad. Believe me, I know what it's like to have a dad you can't stand. No matter what, you always kinda want them to be a part of shit. But it's up to them to do it or not. And if he ain't gonna do it, then f*** him. Don't let him occupy a space in your mind tonight. Have a great time and focus on that. Tonight happens once in your life, hating your dad is forever."

(And yeah, I know most people don't talk that way with their kids, but you have to understand that NOTHING about my family is traditional. But we're loving and close knit, and that's what matters.)

So now, not only am I dealing with whatever the hell you call this emotion that happens when you're happy and sad and proud all at the same time, but I'm fighting off the urge to drive to her biological's house and kick his f***ing teeth in for hurting my little girl.

Anyway...I just needed to blow off some steam. Any words of encouragement or advice are appreciated. Just please don't encourage me to go whip her biological dad's ass, because I am already teetering too close to that brink lol.

Nah man. Just keep supporting her and maintain that relationship you guys have.

[CMPunkyBrewster]

Hey guys, thanks for all the cool words and encouragement. Last night was a strange thing for me lol.

I actually had to tell her to stop messaging me and go have fun. She was trying to tell me about everything WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING. She's kind of a doofus that way.

I just got back from picking her up a little bit ago (she went to a pool party at a friends after the prom). She was bursting with things to tell me about and pictures to show me. I'm so glad she had a good time. She's such a great kid. She deserved a night like last night.

I'm always a little hesitant to share too much of my personal life online, but I've been on these forums for almost 11 years, and no one has stalked or murdered me yet, so you guys are probably ok.

This is my daughter and her date last night just before they left. My girl's the heartbreaker in the blue.

[denna5]

Apr 29, 2017 11:45:15 GMT -5 CMPunkyBrewster said:

Hey guys, thanks for all the cool words and encouragement. Last night was a strange thing for me lol.

I actually had to tell her to stop messaging me and go have fun. She was trying to tell me about everything WHILE IT WAS HAPPENING. She's kind of a doofus that way.

I just got back from picking her up a little bit ago (she went to a pool party at a friends after the prom). She was bursting with things to tell me about and pictures to show me. I'm so glad she had a good time. She's such a great kid. She deserved a night like last night.

I'm always a little hesitant to share too much of my personal life online, but I've been on these forums for almost 11 years, and no one has stalked or murdered me yet, so you guys are probably ok.

This is my daughter and her date last night just before they left. My girl's the heartbreaker in the blue.

She looks so nice. I'm glad that she had a great time and that you two have such a good relationship.

[The Thread Barbi]

Apr 29, 2017 11:29:45 GMT -5 Alucard said:

Apr 28, 2017 19:41:50 GMT -5 CMPunkyBrewster said:

And I'm a little emotional.

First off, let me just state that she is my step-daughter legally, but this girl is my daughter. The "step" part is totally unnecessary, but it important to the story later.

I've been in her life since she was 12, and I have been a stay-at-home dad (when not touring) for her and my other 9 year old "step" daughter for the last 4 years. She is EERILY like me, to the point where my mom asked my wife at one point "How is this child not his?" We're incredibly close, she's even told me before that I am her best friend. What 17 year old girl says that and actually means it?

Anyway, it was a little rough for me watching her get ready and leave with her date. Luckily, I have a lifetime's worth of practice at burying emotions, so she never really saw it. But now that she's gone...I'm allowing myself to be a little bit of a mess.

She looked so beautiful and grown up. So far removed from the 12 year old girl she was when we came into each other's lives. It's hard to believe that in less than 10 months, she'll be an adult getting ready to go to college. It makes me proud, but sad at the same time. I'm going to miss her so f***ing bad when she's gone. Never enough time.

She messaged me a little bit ago. Her and her biological father don't have a very good relationship, on account of him being too busy supporting a useless woman who refuses to work and her 2 equally useless kids (I don't talk that way about kids usually, but believe me, I have reasons for these 2). I don't think she has even actually spoken to him in 6 months or more, let alone actually seen him.

When she messaged me, she asked "Is it bad that I'm a little upset that my dad hasn't said anything to me about prom?" (Yeah, he's one of those pricks)

I also don't have a very good relationship with my dad. I actually haven't spoken to him in over a year, and it was sporadic even before that. And when she asked me that, it broke my f***ing heart. Because I know how she feels. My exact response was "No, it isn't bad. Believe me, I know what it's like to have a dad you can't stand. No matter what, you always kinda want them to be a part of shit. But it's up to them to do it or not. And if he ain't gonna do it, then f*** him. Don't let him occupy a space in your mind tonight. Have a great time and focus on that. Tonight happens once in your life, hating your dad is forever."

(And yeah, I know most people don't talk that way with their kids, but you have to understand that NOTHING about my family is traditional. But we're loving and close knit, and that's what matters.)

So now, not only am I dealing with whatever the hell you call this emotion that happens when you're happy and sad and proud all at the same time, but I'm fighting off the urge to drive to her biological's house and kick his f***ing teeth in for hurting my little girl.

Anyway...I just needed to blow off some steam. Any words of encouragement or advice are appreciated. Just please don't encourage me to go whip her biological dad's ass, because I am already teetering too close to that brink lol.

Nah man. Just keep supporting her and maintain that relationship you guys have.

This - it's his loss. Not your or your daughter's problem.

[Long A, Short A]

I'm happy for you and your daughter. There's nothing like the family that chooses you.