Cartoons by Vince Russo

[WoodStoner1]

Russo has Starscream just lay down for Megatron, then appears during the cartoon and does a SHOOT how Megs has been holding SS back as well as Soundwave, Skywarp, and the other Decepticons. He gives Con leadership to Starscream and swears on his kids that we'll never see that bucket headed son of bitch ever again on this program!

He-Man is gay, but SWERVE! He's having sex with Prince Adam! Also Teela and Sorceress strip down, mud wrestle, then make out, because BOOBS AND INCEST.

Ralph Raccoon catches Bert and Melissa having an affair, so he decides to team up with his archenemy Troy Malone for no reason to take out Bert and Cedric Sneer in a tag match. Cyril Sneer then does a promo mocking Ralph for not being able to get it up, and he ought to know about that because you know what they say about long noses and all. Bert forgets the affair and heel turn and teams up with Ralph to face the three pigs in a handicap match.

Wakko wonders who the Warner Brothers (and the Warner Sister's) parents are. SWERVE! Yakko and Dot gave birth to him!!!!! But wait! Since Yakko couldn't perform in bed, they looked to a sperm donor, and it was...DR. SCRATCHENSNIFF! Oh and Pinky and the Brain come out as gay for reasons. The Hip Hippos do a SHOOT about how the Warners remarked that a test pattern on a flea market TV gets higher ratings than their shorts, leading to them getting a so-called main event run against WY&D where they get a fluke win the first time, then destroyed thereafter.

[Goldenbane]

Listen, Bro, you seem ta have a very active imagination, but bro, I gotta tell you, dat you just don't know what you're talkin' about. Now, I'm gonna tell you da truth, bro, but the first thing dat you have ta do is listen. Take dat thing with He-man. Yeah, I had him come out of the closet, but his lover was Prince Adam. Now think about it, bro. Does it make sense dat He-man is gay? Yeah. Could Prince Adam also be gay? Yeah, of course! So I did it. Now, we've got marks like you complainin' dat they are the same person, but let me tell ya bro, we had to get people talkin'. I mean, any publicity is good publicity and no one was talkin' about us! Just think, bro, here we are, 30 plus years later and marks like you are still talkin' about dat.

And let me tell you somethin' else...and I'm gonna tell ya da truth! Bro, nobody wants to watch that anime shit! Nobody! Oh sure, da smart marks like yourself think that shit is all fancy, but bro, I'm an American. I'm an American, bro, and dat's what I want to see. You ain't ever gonna see anybody bein' fans of Dragon Ball Z, or Yu'Gi'Oh, or Pokemon. I'm an American, and I want ta see Huckleberry Hound, da Hair Bear Bunch, and Quickdraw McGraw. Dat's where da money is, bro, and dat's what I want ta see. So you ain't ever gonna see dat Japanese crap ever again, bro!

[Deleted]

Heavy Metal. It turns out that it is not your one way ticket to midnight. New Wave is.

[Malcolm]

"You, bro, I was thinking, bro. You know how Buster, bro, from Arthur is always obsessed by aliens, bro? Well what if, bro, in the ultimate swerve that Buster... are you sitting, bro?... Buster IS an alien all along, bro. But then later we have him reveal that he was NOT an alien and that ARTHUR was the alien, bro. Or even better, we reveal that the ENTIRE CAST is aliens, bro, filming the entire show on another planet, bro. And then we never mention it again, bro.

Also, let's get Muffy and Francine in skimpy clothes and have them make out, bro."

[Big Poppa Pumpkin]

Peppa Pig turns heel by refusing to follow the script. An angry Russo appears on screen and tells her to "GET BACK IN DERE AND JUMP IN DOZE MUDDY PUDDLES BRO" as she storms off screen yelling expletives.

[BayleyTiffyCodyCenaJudyHopps]

Bro, what's up with these "Crystal Gems", huh? No one wants to see these broads fighting alongside a little kid! That ain't gonna draw! We're gonna put youse chicks in some two pieces, and you're gonna kiss! You three seem to be into other girls, so we can work wit' dat!

And why ain't they any male Diamonds? Check this out, brah- Steven's gonna turn on youse Gems and become The Black Diamond! Then we're gonna build to a Steven vs. Greg father-against-son match, and then Greg turns heel, forming the Gem World Order (gWo)!

We've got some sweet new black gear for ya, kid! Take that fruity little star shirt off! And hey, chick wit' da long nose! Get in da kitchen and make me a sandwich!

[Push R Truth]

Fritz the Cat remains completely unaltered

[Fundertaker]

King Butters is ready to marry Princess Kenny when The Coon interferes to remember everyone that Kenny is a JAPANESE Princess and her Visa expired. This results in all the parents beating the shit out of Kenny and burying her (yes, Kenny is totally a female, otherwise she wouldn't be a PRINCESS!) in the desert. This results in a King Butters vs The Coon, Crown vs Mask, Kenny's corpse on a pole match. During the match, all the other kids interfere, with Stan mentioning how much of a "corporate kiss-ass" The Coon is. Somehow, Kenny wins the match.

[jagilki]

Michael Bay: "Hey, Vince.... I like your take on the Transformers.... just... you need more explosions."

[WoodStoner1]

Jun 8, 2017 11:02:02 GMT -5 Push R Truth said:

Fritz the Cat remains completely unaltered

The Duke of Zill was really Felix all along!

EDIT: Just saw now that I misread the above post. Well the point stands.

[WoodStoner1]

Optimus Prime has it up to here with how Rodimus Prime ran the Autobots into the ground, so the only way to settle this is a MATRIX ON A POLE MATCH. The Quintessons, however, think Rodimus would be more of a pushover as a leader, so they book this to be a tag team match instead, with Rodimus and Ultra Magnus vs. Optimus and...Wheelie. Knowing that it would be a glorified handicap match this way and all. Optimus is incapacitated by the post-movie bots, but Arcee comes to ringside and distracts Magnus and Rodimus by doing a dance while stripping off her chassis. But SWERVE! It was all a ploy for Springer to take out Rodimus and Magnus out of jealousy for not letting him star in the Headmasters series in Japan. So...you guessed it, who's left to climb the pole and get the matrix? Transformer Universe.....meet the new Autobot leader, Wheelimus Prime!

Optimus also somehow dies again in all of this, but is resurrected and vows to form a Ministry to achieve his goals, all the while the other Bots acknowledge that "Orion" is believing in his Optimus character a bit too much.

[WoodStoner1]

Oh and Russo totally gave M. Night ideas when he made The Last Airbender.

[thegame415]

Bugs and Daffy have a carrot on a pole match to determine whether is rabbit season or duck season.

[Sephiroth]

Driver of the white hummer: And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!

[wildojinx]

The beloved Children's show "The Magic Roundabout" is turned into a pop-culture filled film with the bare minimum of plot, with trendy celebrities doing all the voices, because it'll get publicity that way.

Man, can you imagine if they really did that? Hey, why did you throw me this dvd called "Doogal"?

[Confused Mark Wahlberg]

Cosmo and Wanda refuse to follow the script. Also, Vicky is always seen wearing a thong bikini and Chip Skylark is impotent

[WoodStoner1]

Jun 8, 2017 14:07:50 GMT -5 wildojinx said:

The beloved Children's show "The Magic Roundabout" is turned into a pop-culture filled film with the bare minimum of plot, with trendy celebrities doing all the voices, because it'll get publicity that way.

Man, can you imagine if they really did that? Hey, why did you throw me this dvd called "Doogal"?

This explains everything at last!!!!!

Vince Russo was head of DreamWorks Animation all along.

/Swerve~?

[BayleyTiffyCodyCenaJudyHopps]

Jun 8, 2017 15:54:17 GMT -5 WoodStoner1 said:

Jun 8, 2017 14:07:50 GMT -5 wildojinx said:

The beloved Children's show "The Magic Roundabout" is turned into a pop-culture filled film with the bare minimum of plot, with trendy celebrities doing all the voices, because it'll get publicity that way.

Man, can you imagine if they really did that? Hey, why did you throw me this dvd called "Doogal"?

This explains everything at last!!!!!

Vince Russo was head of DreamWorks Animation all along.

/Swerve~?

Yes, but he only produced one movie under them.

Unfortunately, that movie was Shark Tale.

[MrBRulzOK]

Celebrity Deathmatch has an episode where Jim Cornette faces off against Vince Russo, where Cornette loses after Vince swerves into him in a white hummer.

Cornette proceeds to rant on said episode no less than twenty-four hours later.

[Confused Mark Wahlberg]

"This isn't Homer talking to Marge...this is Dan Castellaneta talking to Julie Kavner!"