Scooterdust
ALF
I'm in the center of the epicenter of the pandemic!
Posts: 1,097
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Post by Scooterdust on Jan 4, 2018 17:50:03 GMT -5
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing a furry family member.
In 2008, I rescued a midget calico who I named Pip (after the chipmunk from Enchanted, she looked like him so much), and I practically raised her from when she was just weeks old. She was feral, but became a housecat. She also suffered from FIV, and Cerebellar Hypoplasia (a curved spine), which basically meant she fell over when she walked. It was her quirk, but it didn't stop her from being my baby. I was told she likely wouldn't live more than a year.
Fast forward to August 2015, a full 7 years after I was told Pip wouldn't live a year. She is not being her usual self. She is quite distempered. I then notice she isn't eating or drinking, and she can't get to her food. A few days after this, I notice that she has fallen over on her side, and isn't reacting like a cat would to not wanting to be touched, save for the mewing that you can tell have pain behind them. I knew this was likely the end, and I couldn't bare to put her to sleep, because I swore to let her live her life out on her terms. This is when I realized she had a stroke, and she likely wasn't feeling anything on one half of her body
I took her favorite towel, wrapped her up in it, Pip still mewing like she was annoyed, and put her on my bed. I cuddled her for what would be the last time, and I whispered to her "if you need to go, you go. You've done such a great job looking after me all these years." Minutes later, she passed, and I lost it. I'm losing it now. Because of her condition and size, she could not be buried. She had to be disposed of, with a warning on a trash bag.
Be thankful for the time you had, and the memories you made.
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Post by Instant Classic on Jan 4, 2018 17:54:03 GMT -5
it all came so fast. His first seizure literally happened exactly one week ago. Until then, he seemed quite healthy and happy. Exactly one week later he dies on his own accord. It’s jarring and none of us have quite processed it yet. Thats exactly how my cat went. One night he had a mini seizure and the next night I come home from work to him being passed away. I’m sorry for your loss.
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Post by Limity (BLM) on Jan 4, 2018 17:58:28 GMT -5
He’s going to be cremated and we’ll get him back in about 2 weeks. We got a paw print if him done before we left. *hugs* Remember, friend, everything changes, and nothing is truly lost.
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Nikki Heyman
Fry's dog Seymour
EXTREEEEEME Pony Manager
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Post by Nikki Heyman on Jan 4, 2018 19:00:49 GMT -5
I'll try to get some good news in here....
Just got home from the vet, and both of my cats are healthy for 17. One needed a fang pulled (won't affect her eating) and the other got some antibiotics to help with a wound on the inside of her leg. I'm thankful they were so well behaved and the vet gave them a clean bill of health otherwise.
I'm going to be an absolute f***ing wreck when these two go. I cried when my best friend's cat passed in 2001 and a recent friend's cat "Told" me goodbye the last time I visited him. I cried all the way home.
Right now, one of them is in my lap purring, just thankful to be home.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,359
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 4, 2018 20:08:31 GMT -5
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing a furry family member. In 2008, I rescued a midget calico who I named Pip (after the chipmunk from Enchanted, she looked like him so much), and I practically raised her from when she was just weeks old. She was feral, but became a housecat. She also suffered from FIV, and Cerebellar Hypoplasia (a curved spine), which basically meant she fell over when she walked. It was her quirk, but it didn't stop her from being my baby. I was told she likely wouldn't live more than a year. Fast forward to August 2015, a full 7 years after I was told Pip wouldn't live a year. She is not being her usual self. She is quite distempered. I then notice she isn't eating or drinking, and she can't get to her food. A few days after this, I notice that she has fallen over on her side, and isn't reacting like a cat would to not wanting to be touched, save for the mewing that you can tell have pain behind them. I knew this was likely the end, and I couldn't bare to put her to sleep, because I swore to let her live her life out on her terms. This is when I realized she had a stroke, and she likely wasn't feeling anything on one half of her body I took her favorite towel, wrapped her up in it, Pip still mewing like she was annoyed, and put her on my bed. I cuddled her for what would be the last time, and I whispered to her "if you need to go, you go. You've done such a great job looking after me all these years." Minutes later, she passed, and I lost it. I'm losing it now. Because of her condition and size, she could not be buried. She had to be disposed of, with a warning on a trash bag. Be thankful for the time you had, and the memories you made. Thank you for sharing that story. I know exactly how you felt. It sounds like Pip was very loved and as much a part of your family as ATA was with mine.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,359
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 4, 2018 20:09:29 GMT -5
I'll try to get some good news in here.... Just got home from the vet, and both of my cats are healthy for 17. One needed a fang pulled (won't affect her eating) and the other got some antibiotics to help with a wound on the inside of her leg. I'm thankful they were so well behaved and the vet gave them a clean bill of health otherwise. I'm going to be an absolute f***ing wreck when these two go. I cried when my best friend's cat passed in 2001 and a recent friend's cat "Told" me goodbye the last time I visited him. I cried all the way home. Right now, one of them is in my lap purring, just thankful to be home. I’m glad to hear that. How’d they handle the trip to and from the vet?
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Nikki Heyman
Fry's dog Seymour
EXTREEEEEME Pony Manager
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Post by Nikki Heyman on Jan 4, 2018 21:16:27 GMT -5
I'll try to get some good news in here.... Just got home from the vet, and both of my cats are healthy for 17. One needed a fang pulled (won't affect her eating) and the other got some antibiotics to help with a wound on the inside of her leg. I'm thankful they were so well behaved and the vet gave them a clean bill of health otherwise. I'm going to be an absolute f***ing wreck when these two go. I cried when my best friend's cat passed in 2001 and a recent friend's cat "Told" me goodbye the last time I visited him. I cried all the way home. Right now, one of them is in my lap purring, just thankful to be home. I’m glad to hear that. How’d they handle the trip to and from the vet? Well, I thought I had things well in order getting them into the carriers but when I picked one of the carriers up it split apart (yeah, it's one of those cheap assemble yourself jobs). So it took a bit to get them loaded and both of them complained all the way to the vet. One of them "understood" that once she was handled, she went right back into the carrier ready to go home. The other was getting used to the new space so she needed some coaxing. They complained all the way home, but went right inside when I got back to the apartment. so not as chaotic or painful as I thought it would be. And again, ridiculously thankful one of my cats didn't rip the vet's arm off. Only thing that really hurt was the bill, and even that wasn't horrible.
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Mecca
Wade Wilson
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Member is Online
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Post by Mecca on Jan 5, 2018 6:49:37 GMT -5
My parents have lost 2 of their cats in recent years, it's been hard to deal with as they lived a long time so I actually still lived with them for a good portion of those cats lives.
The first one died 2 years ago and he was really my cat but I left him there because he was happy with them and I didn't want to take him from his other cat friends he had been with so long. It was the weirdest thing they told me he was just wondering around doing this thing and he literally just fell over and died instantly. They tried to save him and the vet thought he had a blood clot go to his brain but wasn't 100% sure. He was about 14 years old and it was pretty tough to deal with that it just happened out of nowhere like that. The really ironic thing was I got a blood clot and nearly died about a year before that.
Then a few months ago another one passed away, he was 15 and just a really large fluffy and friendly cat. He was having problems with his heart to the point that he started acting like he was screaming while sitting on the couch. He went to the vet and they tried to save him. He needed a surgery and likely pills if he was going to make it but he didn't pull through the surgery.
It was just tough to deal with it's like losing family members when you have them that long.
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Post by edgestar on Jan 5, 2018 9:23:40 GMT -5
I cried when my best friend's cat passed in 2001 and a recent friend's cat "Told" me goodbye the last time I visited him. I cried all the way home. I think one of my dogs had a way of telling me goodbye, 2 days before he passed. He followed me around the house, everywhere I went. The day after that, I got a message, saying he was getting sick everywhere. That Friday, I randomly woke up at 4:30 am, to find Pete, laying near his food dish. When we got to the emergency vet, she told us that he was passing away. We weren't there 5 minutes, and he was gone. It will be 6 years, on March 9th, and I still have a hard time when that day has come, since. Last year, we had to put down our first dog. He was showing signs of dementia, and the vet said he might only live another month, but not much longer. They gave us a paw print, and some hair clippings. The 2 dogs ashes, are sitting next to each other, just like they used to sit and window watch together. As I type this, I hugged my dog, Charlie, who has helped me through my own seizures. I know it will be hard, when the time comes, to say goodbye to him. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you and your family allow yourselves time to grieve, but also never forget that love your family shared with that cat, and vice versa.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,359
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 5, 2018 9:34:50 GMT -5
Yeah, it really stinks when they were super loving. One of my cats favorite things was to climb onto my chest as I sat in the game room to watch tv or play games. That way he had easy access to face rubs (he LOVED my beard) and cuddles. It has been so weird to sit there without a cat forcing himself on me for snuggles.
He also preferred to sleep next to people. Sure, that was warm but if he wanted warmth the best way was to sleep in his cave. No, he liked the company and often waited for a napping partner to become available to take his naps. If I was home of an afternoon he would follow me upstairs, jump on my bed, and meow at me until I laid with him so he could have his napping partner:
I think that all started when we first got him on Christmas Day 2010. He was too uncomfortable in his new environment to sleep, so I placed his bed on my desk and petted him until he went to sleep. Unfortunately, he would wake without that comforting presence and would nervously hide under the couch every morning for a few weeks until he learned where he could find where we slept. From that day forward he simplified the process by laying with one of us (usiually my son, Noah).
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,359
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 5, 2018 21:41:38 GMT -5
I changed the original post to turn this thread into a thread where we talk about our current or past fur babies. Everyone's stories is comforting to me and would like more. If I could find a new image hosting option (since my photobucket does not seem to work anymore) I would share pictures of Ata. My family has been sending each other the pictures we have and he was far more photogenic than I ever could be.
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Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
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Post by Heartbreaker on Jan 5, 2018 22:41:20 GMT -5
I'm so sorry about your cat. Lucky, I haven't lost my own pet, but ones belonging to my grandparents. During my childhood there's been times when my family lived with my grandparents so I still grew up with these dogs. First was Max. He was a black Jack Russell belonging to my maternal grandmother. She loved taking him for long walks. Sadly, my grandmother passed away five years ago from cancer. During this time Max was very old (I think 17?) and you could tell his time was also coming. He became depressed when my grandmother passed, barely leaving his dog house. Several months later, one morning my mum found him dead in his dog house. It was sad, but in a way I was relieved. Max lived a long, healthy and happy life. He finally got reunited with his master. Second is Goldie. She was my paternal grandparents' dog. Goldie was named that because she had gold/yellow fur. Her breed was Chihuahua crossed with another breed, not sure what it was. I normally don't like Chihuahuas because the majority of them can be psychotic. Goldie was not like this. She was such a sweet and friendly dog! Sadly, her time came about June of last year. Like Max, she was also pretty old and the same age - 17. Poor girl was all grey and had arthritis. My grandparents were in Sydney for a few days so my dad would go over their place to feed Goldie and the cat Sammy. Dad found her in the garage looking sick, he knew her time was up. So he called my grandparents who decided to put her down. Dad took her to the vet and they put her to sleep. I miss Max and Goldie. A couple of months ago my boyfriend's rabbit Roger passed away. I was so devastated about this too because Roger was a great bunny. I was his favourite human. Now excuse me while I go give my own dog Buddy cuddles. I hope he lives a long time.
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Ultimo Gallos
Grimlock
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 14,401
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Jan 5, 2018 23:06:39 GMT -5
Back 6 or so years ago 2 days before Xmas my then 15 year old poodle passed. After burying her Xmas eve day at the foot of my plot in the family graveyard I decided to never get another dog.I hate hearing that anyone has lost a pet. They quickly become a loved and valuable part of the family.
Skip ahead to a bit over 3 years ago,I get a new dog. A brindle colored mini poodle I named Maggie,which is short for Maggot Ass.
The first winter I had her she would not wear any kind of sweater or jacket.Thankfully it didn't get cold that winter. The second winter she would tolerate a sweater if she was outside. This year she loves wearing her sweaters or jackets so I took a chance and got her the dragon outfit.
We did not teach her to do this. She only does it if she goes to the bathroom outside.
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Nikki Heyman
Fry's dog Seymour
EXTREEEEEME Pony Manager
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Post by Nikki Heyman on Jan 5, 2018 23:11:38 GMT -5
When my best friend and I got Ruby and Daphne, I was worried that Ruby was going to be one of "those" cats that hid under/behind everything and never came out, even for me. Daphne was (still is) rambunctious and adventurous, and she was originally my best friend's cat I was a little jealous. About a month after we got them, I was watching tv in bed (I had a daybed at the time) and Ruby comes padding into my room. I expected her to just flop under the bed and get some sleep, but she jumped up to sit with me. Since daybeds are fairly high she couldn't quite reach, so she clung to the mattress and pulled herself up. Now, whenever I'm in bed Ruby will come up to the bed and make eye contact, and then she'll hop up and sit with me, purring the entire time even if I don't start petting her right away. EDIT: sometimes she'll just "Demand" loves
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Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Jan 5, 2018 23:19:49 GMT -5
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I'm crushed whenever I say goodbye to a pet, because I'm losing a family member. But I still have the memories of the time I spent with them.
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lionheart21
Patti Mayonnaise
Once did a thing...
Posts: 30,532
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Post by lionheart21 on Jan 5, 2018 23:44:08 GMT -5
The cat that I had growing up lived for close to 19 years, from 1992 to 2011.
She was part of a litter of cats that my mom's friend had found in an alleyway in Brooklyn. When they were trying to come up with a name for her, they remembered that when they found her, she was laying inside of a Sara Lee box, so they decided to name her Sara.
For so long, I was pretty sure that this cat was gonna break the record for the world's oldest cat. She was never sick and even in her old age was active. A few months before she passed, she was acting sluggish and not her usual self. We took her to the vet and they had to hold her overnight for a few days to see if everything was alright. When we got her back, we learned that her kidneys were starting to fail and we had two choices: either we could put her to sleep that day or we could put her on a medication regimen and keep her comfortable so that she could pass away at home after about a month. She lasted 3 months, I feel because she felt so loved, she didn't want to let go.
The day she passed, I was at work, but my dad told me that she went in her sleep in her favorite sleeping spot and that when they buried her, she was in her favorite blanket. To me, she was a great cat and I still miss her, but I had prepared for the fact that she wouldn't be around much longer, even though I cried when I first saw her grave and said my last goodbye. To my mom, though, she was like another child, and when she passed, she grieved as if her child passed. Just totally inconsolable, it was heartbreaking to see. It was basically until my nephew was born a few years later that I feel that she was finally able to let that pain go.
I love cats, but even though she's been gone for close to 7 years now, I still can't bring myself to get another. My pet turtle suffices for me.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,359
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 5, 2018 23:50:34 GMT -5
I can’t show pictures right now, but I can show a video:
Yes, he potty trained himself. One morning he was in the master bath sitting on the register (it was wintertime so that was warm). My wife and both jumped out of bed at the sound of him urinating, thinking he was peeing in the vent. Nope, he was on the pot, wondering why we were interrupting him.
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Catalanotto
Tommy Wiseau
Sarcasm at it's best.
Posts: 69
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Post by Catalanotto on Jan 6, 2018 0:00:58 GMT -5
I can relate to the story above.
In February of 2009, my cat was diagnosed with cancer after I noticed she kept drooling and the drooling got worse. It was located under her tongue, that piece that attaches the tongue to the bottom of the mouth. The vet said her life expectancy was 5 months. The only thing they could do to rid the cancer was cut out her tongue, which was obviously not an option, so, they gave me some medication.
Her last week of life, she struggled to eat and drink and was falling all over the place. At one point, she fell off the bed and I caught her, mid air, in which she would have hit the ground, head first.
June 20th, she laid with me on the bed all day long. I just knew the time was coming as she had not eaten since the Monday (June 20th was a Saturday) and she had barely had a drink in that time, either. She was again falling all over whenever she tried to walk, which she rarely tried at this point.
I called the vet and scheduled her to be put down on the Tuesday.
At around 930, I took my shower. I got out, went in the room, and noticed she was just laying there, not moving. I then saw a breath and picked her up. Her head just fell to the side. I put her back on the bed and she started to gasp.
I wrapped her in her towel and we tried to rush her to the 24 hour vet, but, by the time I reached the elevator, she had passed away. I cried for 6 hours straight, only stopping because my face hurt so bad. She was just shy of her 10th birthday (July 7).
I had gotten her when I was 15 years old. I was going through those the typical female teenage years, hated myself, blah blah blah, and she was my best friend that got me through a lot of stuff. My dad took me to get her after we saw an ad in the paper that only required a pay of 5 dollars for the ad. I walked in a room with a few black and tan kittens, and then the husband walked in with the only gray and white kitten. I loved her so much, did not even have to bother with the other kittens.
I have her ashes, locks of hair, and paw print, with all the cat statues and stuffed animals I bought over the time I had her because they all looked like her.
I still cry from time to time about her, I miss her a lot.
Right now, I have two dogs, aged 12 and 10 (11 on Jan 12th), and two cats, both 8 years old. After these 4, I will probably never get a pet ever again. I hate that I have to go through this 4 more times, but, I love animals.
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mattperiolat
King Koopa
Thank you, Brodie... for everything.
Posts: 11,445
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Post by mattperiolat on Jan 6, 2018 0:28:06 GMT -5
First of, deepest sympathies for the loss to Dr. T and to everyone who has had and lost their fur babies.
If I listed every cat and dog who have left paw prints on my heart, we’d be here until the end of time. I love all the kitties especially whom I have been close to. Top of the list would be Terminator or my Termy. Got him as a kitten since reportedly there was a mouse in the house. My sister named him since his mission was to terminate and T2 was big at the time. They gray fur ball became my best friend, sleeping with me every night when I came home and just very loyal. He made it 17 Years, but the last few were tough. He started having seizures in 2004, but never to the point where putting him to rest was even considered. He’d have a fit, be lethargic for a few minutes, then be back to normal. He actually made it cross country from California to Kentucky, but it really sapped him. He was supposed to come live with me when I moved into my own place, but between his health and his close relationship with Honey, another kitty we picked up a year after him, it felt cruel to move him. He died just after Memorial Day in 2007. It was hard because my family kept it from me for a few days to not upset me and I was not consulted on what would be done when he passed (I wanted to bring his ashes home here so my buddy could be with me one last time). To be honest, it is one thing I still have not quite forgiven my family for. The good news is I do have him around still - I have a few clumps of his fur in a small bowl which I still stroke from time to time.
Honey was really my grandma’s pal. Always cuddling with her, always ready to give a bath to anyone who petted him, always drinking out of any open glass of water. He made it cross country as well and remained with my mom after Termy died. He passed peacefully after his own 17 years in 2009, ironically the same day we had to put my then fiance’s Siamese Sushi to sleep.
When my ex left... I’ll be blunt, I was depressed to the point of suicide. Between all the losses and failures, I just felt like I couldn’t go on. I didn’t have anything to go on for. My sister reached out and said “I know you were looking at a cat at the pet store, but the fiancé kept saying no. Go get her.” So I did, the night my ex moved out. Gray tabby who had been left at the store for months. Ferocious at times, not really affectionate, but I saw past that. She was damaged and rejected as I was, so we fit. Named her Paris for Michael Jackson’s daughter, since I respected her ability to speak up and remember her dad after such a tragic loss. For four years, we were the pair - Daddy and Daddy’s Girl. Then... she started hiding away, not eating, just withdrawn. Took her to the vet on a day off for testing... then got the call two days later - severe kidney failure and she was on borrowed time. We could do what we could, but... I agreed to try and help sustain her. We got through a fluid injection and another four days... then I came home from work, found her in the bathroom barely moving. I knew. It was time. Next morning, made the call. Gently picked her up, put her in the carrier. She meowed a bit, clearly hurting and a bit scared, but I comforted her, gently carrying her around from room to room and sharing a memory with her of the time we had. Then took her to the car, drove through the cold and snow five minutes to the vet. The nurse understood how much it hurt. While I was signing the paperwork, they looked her over... then stopped me. They said “You don’t need to fill it out, she’s already gone.” She had died during the drive and she had given me the greatest gift with her passing. She’d spared me the pain of watching her go, but I was with her when she crossed. Daddy’s girl, right to the end. Her ashes are in an urn on top of my dresser between two battery candles, a paw print and a small box with her collar, some fur and whiskers and the towel she died on nearby.
For a week or so, I was a mess. Hurting and lonely. Mom brought her dog down to comfort me the first weekend and clean up a bit. My next day off, she and I met in town to give me some supplies like the carrier and towels that she wanted to clean. She encouraged me to visit the same pet store, just to look. I agreed, dead set on not getting anything but a baby kitten. I just... needed a young one because I needed the most time if I got another. No kittens, but the minute we came in, this eight month old cat would not stop crying. I was... not interested, fearing a repeat. Family and the lady at the store said give her a shot. So we spent some time playing and cuddling and... I liked her, but I needed more time to think. Wanted lunch, clean the house, maybe tomorrow... my mom and the store lady practically begged me to take her. Finally I said “Everyone out. I need time with me and the cat.” They cleared the room, left me alone with her. I got down on my knees, looked her in the eyes, then just looked up and said “Well, Paris... I like her. Is this the one you want watching over me now?”
That’s when I felt a paw on the back of my hand.
I looked down and the cat had her paw on mine and was just gazing back at me.
I looked back up and said “OK, she’ll do.”
That’s my girl Angel. Got the name as a gift from heaven. She is just the most affectionate, cute, cuddly ball of fuzz ever. Lap hog, sidekick, sleeping partner and best friend all rolled into one. She’s the reminder that, yes, we will lose what we love from time to time and it will hurt and we may never feel ready to move on, but in time, they find us and we choose each other. And it’s healing knowing that for each other, you are the universe, you matter and it is good.
Sorry for rambling. I’ve been there, I know how it feels and I only hope that these words help in difficult times. Trust me, this place, this forum, is perfect. It’s been here for me at my lowest and at my highest. May it be so for you too.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,359
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 6, 2018 2:12:14 GMT -5
First of, deepest sympathies for the loss to Dr. T and to everyone who has had and lost their fur babies. If I listed every cat and dog who have left paw prints on my heart, we’d be here until the end of time. I love all the kitties especially whom I have been close to. Top of the list would be Terminator or my Termy. Got him as a kitten since reportedly there was a mouse in the house. My sister named him since his mission was to terminate and T2 was big at the time. They gray fur ball became my best friend, sleeping with me every night when I came home and just very loyal. He made it 17 Years, but the last few were tough. He started having seizures in 2004, but never to the point where putting him to rest was even considered. He’d have a fit, be lethargic for a few minutes, then be back to normal. He actually made it cross country from California to Kentucky, but it really sapped him. He was supposed to come live with me when I moved into my own place, but between his health and his close relationship with Honey, another kitty we picked up a year after him, it felt cruel to move him. He died just after Memorial Day in 2007. It was hard because my family kept it from me for a few days to not upset me and I was not consulted on what would be done when he passed (I wanted to bring his ashes home here so my buddy could be with me one last time). To be honest, it is one thing I still have not quite forgiven my family for. The good news is I do have him around still - I have a few clumps of his fur in a small bowl which I still stroke from time to time. Honey was really my grandma’s pal. Always cuddling with her, always ready to give a bath to anyone who petted him, always drinking out of any open glass of water. He made it cross country as well and remained with my mom after Termy died. He passed peacefully after his own 17 years in 2009, ironically the same day we had to put my then fiance’s Siamese Sushi to sleep. When my ex left... I’ll be blunt, I was depressed to the point of suicide. Between all the losses and failures, I just felt like I couldn’t go on. I didn’t have anything to go on for. My sister reached out and said “I know you were looking at a cat at the pet store, but the fiancé kept saying no. Go get her.” So I did, the night my ex moved out. Gray tabby who had been left at the store for months. Ferocious at times, not really affectionate, but I saw past that. She was damaged and rejected as I was, so we fit. Named her Paris for Michael Jackson’s daughter, since I respected her ability to speak up and remember her dad after such a tragic loss. For four years, we were the pair - Daddy and Daddy’s Girl. Then... she started hiding away, not eating, just withdrawn. Took her to the vet on a day off for testing... then got the call two days later - severe kidney failure and she was on borrowed time. We could do what we could, but... I agreed to try and help sustain her. We got through a fluid injection and another four days... then I came home from work, found her in the bathroom barely moving. I knew. It was time. Next morning, made the call. Gently picked her up, put her in the carrier. She meowed a bit, clearly hurting and a bit scared, but I comforted her, gently carrying her around from room to room and sharing a memory with her of the time we had. Then took her to the car, drove through the cold and snow five minutes to the vet. The nurse understood how much it hurt. While I was signing the paperwork, they looked her over... then stopped me. They said “You don’t need to fill it out, she’s already gone.” She had died during the drive and she had given me the greatest gift with her passing. She’d spared me the pain of watching her go, but I was with her when she crossed. Daddy’s girl, right to the end. Her ashes are in an urn on top of my dresser between two battery candles, a paw print and a small box with her collar, some fur and whiskers and the towel she died on nearby. For a week or so, I was a mess. Hurting and lonely. Mom brought her dog down to comfort me the first weekend and clean up a bit. My next day off, she and I met in town to give me some supplies like the carrier and towels that she wanted to clean. She encouraged me to visit the same pet store, just to look. I agreed, dead set on not getting anything but a baby kitten. I just... needed a young one because I needed the most time if I got another. No kittens, but the minute we came in, this eight month old cat would not stop crying. I was... not interested, fearing a repeat. Family and the lady at the store said give her a shot. So we spent some time playing and cuddling and... I liked her, but I needed more time to think. Wanted lunch, clean the house, maybe tomorrow... my mom and the store lady practically begged me to take her. Finally I said “Everyone out. I need time with me and the cat.” They cleared the room, left me alone with her. I got down on my knees, looked her in the eyes, then just looked up and said “Well, Paris... I like her. Is this the one you want watching over me now?” That’s when I felt a paw on the back of my hand. I looked down and the cat had her paw on mine and was just gazing back at me. I looked back up and said “OK, she’ll do.” That’s my girl Angel. Got the name as a gift from heaven. She is just the most affectionate, cute, cuddly ball of fuzz ever. Lap hog, sidekick, sleeping partner and best friend all rolled into one. She’s the reminder that, yes, we will lose what we love from time to time and it will hurt and we may never feel ready to move on, but in time, they find us and we choose each other. And it’s healing knowing that for each other, you are the universe, you matter and it is good. Sorry for rambling. I’ve been there, I know how it feels and I only hope that these words help in difficult times. Trust me, this place, this forum, is perfect. It’s been here for me at my lowest and at my highest. May it be so for you too. Posts like this is what I need and was hoping for, even if it makes me cry. Thank you.
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