Adam Blampied wrote an article on sexual harassment.

[xCompackx]

link

Interesting article. Say what you will about Adam's confession and everything surrounding it, but he really does seem genuine in trying to better himself.

[Kyn]

I expected to roll my eyes the whole way through this, but he actually said something interesting. This, to me, says everything. They know what they're doing.

"The way society sees men and masculinity has instilled in us the idea that men are trapped in some inherent, inescapable state of being “uncontrollable around women”, and that it’s biologically useless for us to attempt change. (...)

The idea of men as emotionally inept dunces bewildered by all these urges and the reactions of women has benefited us for generations – but we’re smarter than that, and we know it. The majority of men are all too aware of physical and verbal cues and still make the choice to temporarily ignore them because we know that, by later pleading emotional ignorance, there’s an escape route built right into our gender. We need to admit that and stop accepting broad, populist excuses. We know what we’re doing."

[1 Free Moon-Down with Burger]

Barely mentions his victims. Neat.

[TGM]

Hi from the locked thread everyone!

[Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!!]

I hope I'm not being that guy. I'm just kinda confused about the situation. I mean, didn't he basically just lie about his relationship status when women sent him nude photos or something? I mean that's still profoundly shitty behaviour but I don't know if that qualifies as harassment or not. Unless there was some other stuff I never heard about in which case I retract my question.

[LexExpress]

I've never done such a complete 180 on how I feel about anyone than this lad. Crawl back under your rock and knob off you utter slimeball.

[Deleted]

He is getting utterly destroyed in the comments as well. All this sucks too because he was my favorite part of WhatCulture and I was so excited for Cultaholic

[HMARK Center]

Jan 19, 2018 15:20:25 GMT -5 Kyn said:

I expected to roll my eyes the whole way through this, but he actually said something interesting. This, to me, says everything. They know what they're doing.

"The way society sees men and masculinity has instilled in us the idea that men are trapped in some inherent, inescapable state of being “uncontrollable around women”, and that it’s biologically useless for us to attempt change. (...)

The idea of men as emotionally inept dunces bewildered by all these urges and the reactions of women has benefited us for generations – but we’re smarter than that, and we know it. The majority of men are all too aware of physical and verbal cues and still make the choice to temporarily ignore them because we know that, by later pleading emotional ignorance, there’s an escape route built right into our gender. We need to admit that and stop accepting broad, populist excuses. We know what we’re doing."

Yeah, that's the real catch; patriarchal structures certainly advantage men over women and make women bear the brunt of the negative impact they create, but they often do so by hurting men in the process, albeit to smaller extents that still grant guys certain advantages. In this case, the harm to men is encouraging behaviors that pigeonhole and stereotype us as perpetually sex-starved maniacs who can't even function around women without whipping our junk out; however, it grants us the "perk" that when we do something bad to a woman many people will rush forward to say "Well, she should've known better! After all, boys will be boys!"

If he's made a good faith effort to better himself, then good, and I'm glad he's trying to send a positive message.

[fw91]

Jan 19, 2018 16:28:54 GMT -5 Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! said:

I hope I'm not being that guy. I'm just kinda confused about the situation. I mean, didn't he basically just lie about his relationship status when women sent him nude photos or something? I mean that's still profoundly shitty behaviour but I don't know if that qualifies as harassment or not. Unless there was some other stuff I never heard about in which case I retract my question.

In complete agreement here. Imo, there are no "victims." Just him being a shitty boyfriend.

[HMARK Center]

Jan 19, 2018 19:17:03 GMT -5 fw91 said:

Jan 19, 2018 16:28:54 GMT -5 Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! said:

I hope I'm not being that guy. I'm just kinda confused about the situation. I mean, didn't he basically just lie about his relationship status when women sent him nude photos or something? I mean that's still profoundly shitty behaviour but I don't know if that qualifies as harassment or not. Unless there was some other stuff I never heard about in which case I retract my question.

In complete agreement here. Imo, there are no "victims." Just him being a shitty boyfriend.

If he pressured people into nudes and leveraged his (admittedly minor) level of celebrity to apply that pressure, then yeah, he victimized others, especially if he went after people in vulnerable positions (people working with him, younger fans, etc.).

If he just hit people up at random and got nudes, then yeah, it'd be two consenting adults doing something on equal terms and be a different story. Don't think there'd be much of a scandal if this was the case, but I also haven't read the texts so I can't say for sure.

[Jazzman]

Jan 19, 2018 19:14:17 GMT -5 HMARK Center said:

Jan 19, 2018 15:20:25 GMT -5 Kyn said:

I expected to roll my eyes the whole way through this, but he actually said something interesting. This, to me, says everything. They know what they're doing.

"The way society sees men and masculinity has instilled in us the idea that men are trapped in some inherent, inescapable state of being “uncontrollable around women”, and that it’s biologically useless for us to attempt change. (...)

The idea of men as emotionally inept dunces bewildered by all these urges and the reactions of women has benefited us for generations – but we’re smarter than that, and we know it. The majority of men are all too aware of physical and verbal cues and still make the choice to temporarily ignore them because we know that, by later pleading emotional ignorance, there’s an escape route built right into our gender. We need to admit that and stop accepting broad, populist excuses. We know what we’re doing."

Yeah, that's the real catch; patriarchal structures certainly advantage men over women and make women bear the brunt of the negative impact they create, but they often do so by hurting men in the process, albeit to smaller extents that still grant guys certain advantages. In this case, the harm to men is encouraging behaviors that pigeonhole and stereotype us as perpetually sex-starved maniacs who can't even function around women without whipping our junk out; however, it grants us the "perk" that when we do something bad to a woman many people will rush forward to say "Well, she should've known better! After all, boys will be boys!"

If he's made a good faith effort to better himself, then good, and I'm glad he's trying to send a positive message.

While I agree with the sentiment of Blampied's post, it also shows the sad state of affairs that a bar as low as, "men know it's wrong and they need to own up" is being looked at as a positive for men to say.

That's kinda f***ed up in it's own way that saying something so mind-blowingly simple as a safe stance is something other herald for his ability to say it.

[Deleted]

So this guy made YouTube videos about wrestling?

[HMARK Center]

Jan 19, 2018 20:10:31 GMT -5 Jazzman said:

Jan 19, 2018 19:14:17 GMT -5 HMARK Center said:

Yeah, that's the real catch; patriarchal structures certainly advantage men over women and make women bear the brunt of the negative impact they create, but they often do so by hurting men in the process, albeit to smaller extents that still grant guys certain advantages. In this case, the harm to men is encouraging behaviors that pigeonhole and stereotype us as perpetually sex-starved maniacs who can't even function around women without whipping our junk out; however, it grants us the "perk" that when we do something bad to a woman many people will rush forward to say "Well, she should've known better! After all, boys will be boys!"

If he's made a good faith effort to better himself, then good, and I'm glad he's trying to send a positive message.

While I agree with the sentiment of Blampied's post, it also shows the sad state of affairs that a bar as low as, "men know it's wrong and they need to own up" is being looked at as a positive for men to say.

That's kinda f***ed up in it's own way that saying something so mind-blowingly simple as a safe stance is something other herald for his ability to say it.

Oh yeah, don't mistake me, that part of it is intensely depressing. So many awful behaviors, habits, and expectations are so ingrained in societal expectations for interactions between men and women and it'll take a ton of work and awareness to really roll them back and create a fairer, less harmful, more equitable playing field. It's not just the problem of guys being raised to "expect" sex (as a reward, as a rite of passage, as any number of other things), it's also about many women being told to be demure and "nice" even in situations where they're very uncomfortable, lest they be looked at as "bitchy" or something equally absurd because they dared to speak up in the moment, or worse, risk incurring violence from a really awful guy.

[Jazzman]

Jan 19, 2018 20:20:12 GMT -5 HMARK Center said:

Jan 19, 2018 20:10:31 GMT -5 Jazzman said:

While I agree with the sentiment of Blampied's post, it also shows the sad state of affairs that a bar as low as, "men know it's wrong and they need to own up" is being looked at as a positive for men to say.

That's kinda f***ed up in it's own way that saying something so mind-blowingly simple as a safe stance is something other herald for his ability to say it.

Oh yeah, don't mistake me, that part of it is intensely depressing. So many awful behaviors, habits, and expectations are so ingrained in societal expectations for interactions between men and women and it'll take a ton of work and awareness to really roll them back and create a fairer, less harmful, more equitable playing field. It's not just the problem of guys being raised to "expect" sex (as a reward, as a rite of passage, as any number of other things), it's also about many women being told to be demure and "nice" even in situations where they're very uncomfortable, lest they be looked at as "bitchy" or something equally absurd because they dared to speak up in the moment, or worse, risk incurring violence from a really awful guy.

I agree HMark, didn't mean to it seem like I didn't. I just had that thought on Adam's article, your post covered a bit of what I wanted to say, so I went with the quote there. It's all good.

[Alice Syndrome]

This is an interesting thing to read to see an abuser's point of view.

I mean Blampied is still cancelled and he knows it, but I'd still recommend this to anyone if I had to show someone what shitty behaviour looks like if they don't realise it.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Jan 19, 2018 16:28:54 GMT -5 Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! said:

I hope I'm not being that guy. I'm just kinda confused about the situation. I mean, didn't he basically just lie about his relationship status when women sent him nude photos or something? I mean that's still profoundly shitty behaviour but I don't know if that qualifies as harassment or not. Unless there was some other stuff I never heard about in which case I retract my question.

From what I can tell, pretty much. He’s really dying on a hill he doesn’t need to be dying on. You know, lots of people would keep that private, but if they didn’t, normal people would wonder why they should care.

Good on him if he thinks he needs help and he’s doing the things to get that help.

[Deleted]

I really couldn't stand Blampied's output on Youtube so I've tried to be as open minded as to his motivations here and what he hopes to achieve, as well as the whole situation, because it would have been easy to go "Well he sucks so to hell with him and his apology" etc.

I'm....torn. There's a lot of good points made both in his favour and against him in this thread. He barely mentions the victims and kind of makes it all about him, BUT he has volunteered all of this.

I think he's genuinely contrite (not trying to be contentious here, it's VERY difficult to tell with his 'to camera' style, his natural tone is sneery and smug), but I also don't think he fully understands WHY he's contrite or why what he's done crossed lines, which is why it comes off as being about him, he can't put himself in anyone else's shoes to see their view. But then he's seeking to educate himself on that it seems, so hopefully it will dawn on him with time.

[ben:friendship frog]

The one thing I take from all this is that it happened 3 months ago and he's already done(and is doing) therapy. I've been on a waiting list since September and last week I was told it would be about another 4 months.

[jp49er80]

He keeps saying he's going to go away, then never does. I always found him irritating on WhatCulture anyway so I never took this as a lot of people did, but honestly, I kinda wish he'd just be quiet.

[Peeetah]

Jan 20, 2018 10:55:50 GMT -5 ben:friendship frog said:

The one thing I take from all this is that it happened 3 months ago and he's already done(and is doing) therapy. I've been on a waiting list since September and last week I was told it would be about another 4 months.

Probably went private, he's certainly got the accent of someone whos parents can afford it.