WWE Closed Captions - Raw, February 26th!
Feb 27, 2018 1:51:33 GMT -5
MiLB Fan, EoE: Well There's Your Problem, and 10 more like this
Post by GuyOfOwnage on Feb 27, 2018 1:51:33 GMT -5
Welcome once again to another edition of the all-Canadian and all-gay WWE Closed Captions!
The Big Dog will pee on the Bees' carpet and get busy. Roman threw Reigns into the pod. The road to Wrestle Man is for swingers in California. Braun's Lesser rapes Roping Reigns at Wrestle Taint. Ron Aroused Me got Stephanie's taint. We are taken back to footage of Rounded Rousey (also known as Rocky Mountain Rousey) and Triple H in Kurt Angle from last night. Her theme music says "I'm damp, it's my reputation". Kurt Angle says, "I'm getting off in Triple H and Stephanie. They wanted to have their thumb in you and get down." He says that Triple H told him, "3 years later, and I'm naked." He continues, "Didn't you say your orifice has been taken by her, Steph?" Wanda Onesie is here tonight on Raw.
And so is the Rot Whipping's Champion! Please welcome Wicked James and the Wrong Women's Champion, Lex Luger's Bliss! The Ejaculation Chamber had 4 women locked inside men in pods. They wanted sacks of rice for eating the Women's Champion. Sawed Off Banks stabbed Bayley for farting. Bayley hit a Bayley to Belly on sudafed. Michael Cole says, "Hello, I'm old, he's cone, he's gay." Last night we saw Oscar one-on-one with Michael Jackson. Alexa says, "You have no idea how naked I felt in the Women's Jason Chamber match. Not onl ydid I fight my mom, I felt the Raw Women's Champion. I will still have feet 50 years from now. February 20th, 2080 was the day Alex pissed on the game. I like to pay credit cards when they're due. Mickie showed the world she's a sicko Women's Champion. I know we've had our dicks in rough friends. I know every single woman in the laughing room. Mankey and Soldier have bright food here. So do Saudi Banks and Bay Leaf. I don't want to be that person, but Bayley shat last night. I capitalized on Sorta Banks' massive penis. Once I come to Monday Night Raw, I am Kane. I will break Taka's leek. Nigel Jacks left her in a pile of ruffage. At Wrestling Manic, I cannot wait to fish with John. Oscar is a championship at WrestleMania. Bitchin'. You're boldy transgender and you hump me. Mika humanized you and rushed you. One tiny little misanthrope and it's all over." When Asuka enters, Alexa continues, "Oscar, I know Englishmen love grapes. But your mommy's tank is very different to me." Michael Jackson dozed off on Oscar. Oscar has a triangle open. Bay Leaf is boning eggs with Oscar. Nia pissed on Mickie and Oscar's Bay Leaf.
John's Penis said it's winter at Naked Mania. He will direct his fap to WrestleMania live.
The WWE Shop commercial contains the lyrics "Cones are hot tonight in my arm pits."
We are Batman on Monday Night Raw with Michael Jackson and Dickie James! Last time we saw Bakery and Socko Banks, they didn't get along. Sasha Banks revealed her true c***. Every lady has blood cells. Afa has stabbed Bayley's ass. The eagle of Alexa's Knight is busting out the rear. Corey says, "She deserves to have a giant eggo tonight." The championship purse is going to wrestle Maria. Ninja Jax should not be a meal at WrestleMania. Bayley with the hard on to Bliss. Bloodhound Banks is on the rowboat to WrestleMania. She wants a rope for WrestleMania. We are 6 years away from Rental Mania. Sasha delivers butt hole knees. Boggs now in Mickie and Alexa. Melissa and Mickie just re-entered Sasha. There's a reason Nia is called the Air Conditioning Force. Sasha is hungover. Alexa's c*** is in control of a mime.
We are back drinking wine on Monday Nitro! They were ice skating with Sasha Banks. Nia snorts some powder. Coach wonders how many kids they'll have tonight. The ladies stole Big Show last night. Mindy is controlling Ought To Banks. Alexa bit the Wrong Women's Champion. They're right back in the asshole again, at their fullest. Corey says, "It's about single tight holes." Sasha's wrong, look at Oscar with a champagne at WrestleMania! Michael Cole says, "Ow, my knee." There's the Hick Attack to Jackson. Bayley helps Oscar. Look at the combination aardvark kneebar from Oscar. Bayley was on drugs here tonight. How many times do you get f***ed by Sasha before you get a dude? Oscar gets raw with the Women's Champion.
It was not a good night for John's pleasure. He has no clear ass at WrestleMania. John was depressed about his cock. He says, "Those tarts aren't f***ing anyway. I won't pull it but I might plant. I'll find a drought." Is there a man's ass at WrestleMania? John will undress a bitch live on Raw, next!
The cry of "apple dome" is heard, as the crowd chants "John Cena's mom". Cena says to the camera, "I'm a pervert." Please welcome John See Not! Last night was about Hulk Hogan, but he was disappointed in his performance in that fat ass. Michael Cole has known John Cena for 50 years. Cena says, "Last night, I fainted. And when I finally put it in an audience, I felt like a moron. Failure is pot. You can tell that you go through fate's tone. A person's character is not judged when they're a gay success. It's when they're with Test inside a wall. I spent 5 minutes feeling myself last night. My roids are at WrestleMania. I thought it would be the O'Doyle Rumble. I thought it would be a Nameless Chamber. For 5 minutes I thought I was over. This is why no other WWE superstar will step in the ring and say out loud that I'm gay. When you fill the pail, it's on you. I am up, I am f***ed up and fired up. I need a plain old dude I should've done a long time out. And that's put out a WrestleMania challenge to Jed Baker! 39 000 Wrestlemanias between us and we have never gotten naked and grabbed on stage. You want taint, you got it. And that match is not happening. I don't martians. I have been told that man is touchable. Now you all understand the dishes are done by pointing. And I want to get up on that dick. As a free agent, I will go to Smack Your Mom to earn a spot at WrestleMania." Tasha Smith is a free agent.
Paul Heyman tweeted earlier, "My apologies to pants, Brock Lesnar will pick the booger chamber live." Brock's penis, a big log, tonight!
Fire thighs Bray Wyatt rotates the ring. Last night, Brain Wyatt went ah chew. Brake Wyatt is at his draining point in Matt Hardy. Apparently, last night, he wet his bed sometimes. The Eater of Girls gets his track tonight. Michael Cole says that Bray gives a great blowjob. He urinated on Rhyno. Coach says, "I don't think Bray Wyatt cares about towels." He was pantsing Slater and his sister. The referee never removed his belt. Wyatt delivers the cabin's mail to the Manly Rhino. He gets on the mic and says, "Look at me, you Jew! You made me hurt these innocent pants. You made them with Sgt. Slaughter. The Gay War is far from over. You will face me again but this time I will make sure your thighs stay shut for rabbits. Caw caw caw caw, I'm coming for your man, I'm coming in you. Runs."
Miss learns his tasty opponent next!
Ronda was aroused on Twitter last night, saying tits are smooth. She is the fattest woman on the planet, Rounded Ronny Rodney! In another replay from last night, she says, "I don't like coffee, and tea less." Angle says, "I'm just inside Triple H and Stephanie, they couldn't wait for beer. They wanted titilate you and put their thumb inside you. Triple H told me we've spent 3 years naked for this bitch. Didn't you tell me Ronda was your husband and you're take her?" Oh my God, she gave Triple H anal! Stephanie gets in Ronda's face and says, "You tinkle tart!" She buried the CO Load in anal. She must explain her ass last night and clear the air.
We have a Big Logged Beast on the Road to Restitution.
Michael Cole says, "Where will I get a man like The Miz?" The opening to Miz's theme simply says, "Awful." Corey Graves says he just raped The Miz. Coach says, "The Miz has a dick wherever he steps." Miz says, "We are on the road to Roman Mania? And it stops for a mime? We are 45 minutes from lopsidedness. I could be walking down the street to bitch to Michael's gay buddy. You could take a picture with a guy undressing Donald Trump. Kurt Angle takes his farts for granted. In 62 days, I will become the longest raping Comandeering Champion of all time. I will be the grape juice champion of the times. Not Shot Michaels, me. Not Bret's Hard, me. Not Paid Drone Moral Less. Not Etch, me. Not Chris Jerk Off, me. He he he. My star shines brighter than Superman. The television tent, Miss and Misses. Those booties will want it anyway. All these accorns and I'm treated like a retard. I don't even have mermaid dice. Dick face isn't on them. I should be going to the main man at Rental Mania. I should Rock Lesnar and come in the Universal Champion. Curb Angle forced me to fart in the Create A Chamber match. I was punted for whipping Maryse. I don't care what happens to the Miss Bacon Chamber. I want you to make a book about dicks. This is the most prestigious and conquerable title in WWE. Since I have this tight hole, I walk into Kurt Angle's orifice. I want to know what the Competent Champion is doing at Rest Hold Mania. He says your opponent tonight will determine who you mace at WrestleMania. I have made my tightness more relatable than the Unified Girls' Championship. I have been here for 12 beers. Mike is all who you give me? Whoever comes out will be peeing, who is it? The words "Burp Up Now" accompany the entrance of The Arse Man. This is no way to treat a fister. Coach says, "I like Mike's gay centerfold." Rollins and Miz, will they give head live on Raw?
The incompetent champion The Miz faces Seth's Rollos. Corey says, "I might f***, this is riduclous." Seth Rollins is on a pole. He was in a man for one hour and 500 minutes. Cole says, "He had a great performance inside my naked chamber." Miz goes for the dong breaker. Miz is an 80 time Inter Gender Champion. Daniel Bryan invented the Dick Kick. Day Old Rye Bread is not gay like Miz, and neither is Corey Graves. Michael Cole says, "Miz needs to hang on, I'm his wife."
We return with Michael Cole being queer for the Inter Gender Champion The Miz. A grape whore is curtain worthy. The Miz needs to know who he's doing at Weapon Mania. Rollins looks aroused, he landed hard on his dick. He wants some extra custard on that. Kurt Angle smoked up last night and gave Triple H and Stephanie a hot dog. Second Rollins favoring the dick, maybe he banged someone named Chabert. Miz had taint for half a second before carding him. Miz is still building more men. Corey says, "I hear a bunch of whores saying let's go Poppins." The Genie is climbing the ropes. Meth Rollins stained the tower. Rollins slipped the dick with the Falcon Scarecrow. What a Seacrest by Rollins. Rollins wears a great deal of panties. It's all about getting to Morons in the Mercury Benzo Silverdome. Hulk crushing finally. Rollins fired his mom. It has been an unreal daze for Henry Rollins. Rollins is whipping men. That's the stuff Krueger relates to. Cole says, "Ballet Club is queer." Finn is still stepping on his bra. There is a lot of history between these two mental baskets. Rollins is Cena. Balto has rated Apollo's parade.
We are back with thick balls in The Miz. This is unfair treatment to jizz on Kurt Angle. You make out, you face hell on Smackdown. This is a top shelf bash. Anderson swallows, Balor's gay. They're soft, it's 3 in 1. The Mrs. did not have to go down on Finn Balor. This will continue as a on in one match. Otherwise, Miz won't wrestle Maria. Coach says, "There is no lunar in this match." Miz sharted in the ring and got a countout loss. He's too thick to rape. He's doing a job for Shane. The Genital Manager must be Mrs. Opponent at WrestleMania. Let's go find Ruby and Outback Ezekiel Jackson. He doesn't care about peeing, he's the Inter Compensation Champion. He wasn't prepared for mass tonight.
Senator Rollins wants to have tea on the big stage. Corey says that this situation is oblong. This is undue treatment for the Gay Fister. Miz just greased Seth Rollins in a pooping match. Miz asked for circumcision, as far as his career goes. Coach says that the Ignorant Champion is a bitch. He put a saxophone in his mouth and farted. Corey says, "You're so tight for me, Coach." Cole says, "Bitchin' Miz." John Cena should have a match at Rousey Mania. The Miz is a rapist champion at Sommerset. There's the world's gayest jet kicks. He unhooks the bra, and Thick Balor earns his way into men at Mania. Cole and Corey say to Coach, "Come on jizz machine, talk to us! Anal Shorts at WrestleMania." Seth Rollins came on shorts in the chamber. He says, "There is more than one rope at WrestleMania, I will paint my way there. I want my Mrs. Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania."
It has been a wet and wild hour here with Round head Rousey. Kurt Angle did his laundry. Angle did Ronda Rousey live on the WWE Network on Bra Talk. Stephanie said, "We're gonna pull everything out, Ronda, Triple H and Kurt."
Coach says, "I am the Big Show, it is official." Big Thong to the face, next on Raw.
Mantaur has a main event at WrestleMania with a big log. Corey says, "My big dog is 100% ascented tonight." Please welcome Roland Reigns! He had an opportunity to close with Booker a few years ago at WrestleMania. He's going to get a bra in his face here tonight. He's had too many beans. You gotta stamp a trip to Sue Lex City. He raped Lesnar at WrestleMania years ago. You wanna talk a bit muddy, it's Raided Lesnar at WrestleMania. Roman says, "I said I was in the Women's Elimination Chamber, and I did. So when I say I'm going to wrestle mainly Braun's Lesser, I'm telling you. I'm covered in this. Brock Lesnar's not a deer tonight. I thought Brock was gonna be queer with The Big Show. I'm gonna say it - Brock Lesnar is an entitled pizza who hides behind Dracula. We are 6 weeks away from Wrestle Taint. He was running around naked pictures of Dana White. He doesn't respect Meat, he doesn't respect Jews, and he doesn't respect anyone in the larger room. They all know that bear. Me and men to boys run across the world and put it in the ass. I'll be bare because I said I'd be bare. Brock and Paul get busy. I was born to get busy, and I was taught at an early age that it's fine for sex. I don't respect Ron's Dessert. I damn sure don't fear cabbage. I'm gonna go and get my ass spewed in like a man because I rent this place." Token Reigns survived the Taker match last night.
Braun Strowman says, "I may not have won Chabert, but I'm going to perform Sympy of Construction"." That's who a lion has to face tonight.
These are the Wrong Tag Team Champions, Shake and Bake Cesaro!
John Cena was Todd earlier tonight at the A Hole Center in Los Angeles.
This is a 200 falls match! WWE is powered by Crack Pot Underwear. Tightest On Knees sent a tweet saying, "We beefed you on 3 separate tables." Apollo is tightest when he stands. The bar is for Sheamus and Cesaro, dudes. There's the first fart at the bar. Cesaro took advantage, the bum is out for nothing. Cole says, "My tightness is way up." Corey says, "My tightness is birthing Sheamus." Kurt has been pregnant in the last 24 hours with Lana and Rousey. Cole says, "Tie me up." Wanda and Cesaro kick out the sighing Jew. Corey says, "I want to make George Romero's lunch." He continues, "I tried earlier, but Daniel was going down in Kurt Angle's office. I'm lip synching with Tiny Girls now." Typist has a big diner. Apollo hits a snowball to the chest. His dick is out on Cesaro. They are the Tightest Pole. If you beat Paid Trees prematurely, you don't get supper bowls. Apollo is heard saying, "Why am I white?" Can Tight Ass Apollo get tits?
They need to sleep with the Tightest Girls tonight. He needs to tag the tight bitch. Paul Jones in drag cannot get tightness. Tightness blowing The Shield in the anus. Titus is heard saying, "I'm getting so hard." Corey says, "My transnational skills are aces." Harpo, planking's enough. Shamest drives Tyson out of the ring. Shapest stays in it, Bart will not be denied. Barclays knows they can't lose the titles. Apollo dies. Charlene runs interference. Tank is made inside Apollo. The Bart retain their moles. Coach says, "I'm tight and dirty, never again." Powder was not enough for the topless tonight. It was looking like Tight Men Worldwide had Faceless Cesaro's nuts." They respond, "We had their nuts, those queers. Two men walk into the bar, no one gets up and hard. Ask The New Gay Hardys, Sent Rollins and Deep Andrews. Deep Ambrose got up, but his arse shit. Let's not forget what we did to Jason Jordan. We pooped. Wrestling nieces and fat Sting, we are going to be punked because we're so dumb. Who is there to race, if there's no one left to eat? As everyone knows, we don't text Bart, we are Bart."
Last night at Intimate Chamber, Ron Aroused Me with Triple H's queer bear.
We move on to discussing The Hollow Fame ceremony. It is our honor to introduce you to this year's zipper. What defies a warrior? He's smart, he's Hansel, and he's Walt MD Lake. His name is Darius Jerry. Jay Day had ruffles at school. If they bury your body, you're a donut. He says to Miz, "Just to let you know, you're a bottom, bitch." After the video, Cole says, "I'm pregnant, he's my man, AJ."
We were supposed to pee on Alice's song. He demands to marinate in Southern California next.
Monday Night Ron is live tonight at the Hopping Center. Cole says, "I am ready to f*** Elias." Stole Men beats liner notes with bruised ribs. Ladies and gentlemen, Linus! He says, "Hello, I am nice. I have one question, who wants a cock from Elias? That is what it feels like to be gay. I don't know your families. Last night, I knocked up Cole as planned. WWE stands for Washing Reliance. I was not going to f*** any whores tonight. Then I heard Brown Stroke called my niece pubic. You tried to play with Betty's thing. Every word uttered from Courtney Gaines' face is nice collusion. I need to sync up your cell phones and pull it out of my pants." Elias playing the guitar is inexplicably identified as "rap music". he sings, "Mashed potatoes devil is gay. Elias is shitting time. I make more pee than Anaheim. Braun wants to be in me, much like Drew. He can't have a can of Linus, he likes dudes." There might be a redhead on the highway. Here comes the Mice Among Men! Cole says to Corey, "As Lighter said, shut your sticky face. Corey, did you take your antidote?" Braun f***ed more men in the chamber including Light Face, next!
Elias is a dick head and a monkey. Strowman f***ed five men in their chamber. Cole says, "I'm out dating Elias." Coach says, "Elias just dicked Corey." Rhyno is on the scene in WWE. Braun Straw Man is in pursuit of a horse. The Monitor Among Men just cleared Elias' cock. Coach says, "Every night, there's someone nude in the river with Braun Strowman." He won't be able to lick Elias after this. Pee Wee Herman slept with Braun in the last 6 months. He unlocked that bitch. Cole observes that Elias is huge in Strowman. He continues, "Look at those mammaries!" Braun Strowman's seed is for folk singers. Elias is going to lose to Roadkill if he keeps f***ing. Coach says, "He was a stud for a moment." He's a light man driven to Baron Corbin. He's a Baron for those ribs. Elias got smashed with the monster and Bayley. The fire extinguisher is qualified to be illegally carried indoors. Lifeless continues the anal assault with the fire extinguisher. Elias is making love to him. Braun can see thta he came in Elias' face. Cole says, "How about ramming it in Elias? You won't see my nanny anywhere." Elias is raping the thighs of the mobster. Strowman was about to do a line on our table. They're fighting in the rear. Cole observes that Strowman is wearing shoes. He got Sami in the eyes of Brown Stroke Man.
Corey says, "In my pants, John Cena is searching for Maria." Cole says, "I'm entering tomorrow, Asuka and burning Nia, next week on Raw."
The words "Behold Kink, the Kinky Kings. I'm your niece, Bob." are heard. Please welcome the Misnomer of Monday Night Raw, and the Semen in JoJo of WWE, Triple H! Coach says, "He welcomed and aroused me into WWE. Monday Nitro is cool anyway, so I don't care." Stephanie says, "We signed one of the world's greatest asthmatics, Rosey, into WWE. Kurt started pooping in the middle of the ring; he started moaning. That behavior is tolerated when we're mating, but not in WWE." Once more, we are shown the footage from last night. Here comes the fattest woman on the planet, Haunted Rotten Roundtree! It's time to burn the text inside this ring. Ronda says, "Kurt, did you pay someone?" Kurt says, "They couldn't wait to have you here, to put their thumb in you like a clown. Triple H said '3 years later and we own your habits.'" Triple H says, "Steph, unzip my fly for Kurt here." Angle continues, "Stephanie, didn't you tell me had a hazmat and that you were baked?" Stephanie says, "I need to buy you a car." Stephanie just buried a butthole in the table. Back live, Stephanie says that Ronda acted like Savage's dick. She continues, "In order to get in her, I had to pull my dick out and Ron Undressed Me. As of last night, Kurt Angle gores me. Robert now reports to me. WWE now owns Robert Roundtree. As a goof boss, we need to move forward in Roman for WrestleMania. Kurt Angle, pull out, dear." This isn't Kurt's dangler, this is Toronto Rousey! Here comes Kurt Angle, who says, "Ronda, stop sucking, just hear me out, let me get in. I want to tell you one thing. You coming in me was the best decision you ever made." Ronda says, "I have never been slapped before by my wife. I refuse to be dicked. I am no one's proxy." Kurt responds "I understand why you had sex. You need to work with a cyst. I need that bod. What I'm telling you Ronda, I ride. I don't know why I'm wide. I heard Stephanie talking to you, but we were naked last night." Stephanie says, "Rounder, we're not horrible peep holes. Now that you understand Kurt was typing, let's make you the dude you deserve to be." Ronda says, "You know, we have addressed everything but your ass. You need to pole glide me. I will not hesitate to rip your arm off and suck it." The crowd chants, "Take it off." Stephanie says, "I am terribly sorry, I am a reactive hug man who pushed 3 tables." After Triple H punches Kurt Angle, Coach says, "What the? Was that a Ford?" Before Raw fades out, we hear some more lyrics from Triple H's theme - "Bow down, I'm a kink in red."
The Big Dog will pee on the Bees' carpet and get busy. Roman threw Reigns into the pod. The road to Wrestle Man is for swingers in California. Braun's Lesser rapes Roping Reigns at Wrestle Taint. Ron Aroused Me got Stephanie's taint. We are taken back to footage of Rounded Rousey (also known as Rocky Mountain Rousey) and Triple H in Kurt Angle from last night. Her theme music says "I'm damp, it's my reputation". Kurt Angle says, "I'm getting off in Triple H and Stephanie. They wanted to have their thumb in you and get down." He says that Triple H told him, "3 years later, and I'm naked." He continues, "Didn't you say your orifice has been taken by her, Steph?" Wanda Onesie is here tonight on Raw.
And so is the Rot Whipping's Champion! Please welcome Wicked James and the Wrong Women's Champion, Lex Luger's Bliss! The Ejaculation Chamber had 4 women locked inside men in pods. They wanted sacks of rice for eating the Women's Champion. Sawed Off Banks stabbed Bayley for farting. Bayley hit a Bayley to Belly on sudafed. Michael Cole says, "Hello, I'm old, he's cone, he's gay." Last night we saw Oscar one-on-one with Michael Jackson. Alexa says, "You have no idea how naked I felt in the Women's Jason Chamber match. Not onl ydid I fight my mom, I felt the Raw Women's Champion. I will still have feet 50 years from now. February 20th, 2080 was the day Alex pissed on the game. I like to pay credit cards when they're due. Mickie showed the world she's a sicko Women's Champion. I know we've had our dicks in rough friends. I know every single woman in the laughing room. Mankey and Soldier have bright food here. So do Saudi Banks and Bay Leaf. I don't want to be that person, but Bayley shat last night. I capitalized on Sorta Banks' massive penis. Once I come to Monday Night Raw, I am Kane. I will break Taka's leek. Nigel Jacks left her in a pile of ruffage. At Wrestling Manic, I cannot wait to fish with John. Oscar is a championship at WrestleMania. Bitchin'. You're boldy transgender and you hump me. Mika humanized you and rushed you. One tiny little misanthrope and it's all over." When Asuka enters, Alexa continues, "Oscar, I know Englishmen love grapes. But your mommy's tank is very different to me." Michael Jackson dozed off on Oscar. Oscar has a triangle open. Bay Leaf is boning eggs with Oscar. Nia pissed on Mickie and Oscar's Bay Leaf.
John's Penis said it's winter at Naked Mania. He will direct his fap to WrestleMania live.
The WWE Shop commercial contains the lyrics "Cones are hot tonight in my arm pits."
We are Batman on Monday Night Raw with Michael Jackson and Dickie James! Last time we saw Bakery and Socko Banks, they didn't get along. Sasha Banks revealed her true c***. Every lady has blood cells. Afa has stabbed Bayley's ass. The eagle of Alexa's Knight is busting out the rear. Corey says, "She deserves to have a giant eggo tonight." The championship purse is going to wrestle Maria. Ninja Jax should not be a meal at WrestleMania. Bayley with the hard on to Bliss. Bloodhound Banks is on the rowboat to WrestleMania. She wants a rope for WrestleMania. We are 6 years away from Rental Mania. Sasha delivers butt hole knees. Boggs now in Mickie and Alexa. Melissa and Mickie just re-entered Sasha. There's a reason Nia is called the Air Conditioning Force. Sasha is hungover. Alexa's c*** is in control of a mime.
We are back drinking wine on Monday Nitro! They were ice skating with Sasha Banks. Nia snorts some powder. Coach wonders how many kids they'll have tonight. The ladies stole Big Show last night. Mindy is controlling Ought To Banks. Alexa bit the Wrong Women's Champion. They're right back in the asshole again, at their fullest. Corey says, "It's about single tight holes." Sasha's wrong, look at Oscar with a champagne at WrestleMania! Michael Cole says, "Ow, my knee." There's the Hick Attack to Jackson. Bayley helps Oscar. Look at the combination aardvark kneebar from Oscar. Bayley was on drugs here tonight. How many times do you get f***ed by Sasha before you get a dude? Oscar gets raw with the Women's Champion.
It was not a good night for John's pleasure. He has no clear ass at WrestleMania. John was depressed about his cock. He says, "Those tarts aren't f***ing anyway. I won't pull it but I might plant. I'll find a drought." Is there a man's ass at WrestleMania? John will undress a bitch live on Raw, next!
The cry of "apple dome" is heard, as the crowd chants "John Cena's mom". Cena says to the camera, "I'm a pervert." Please welcome John See Not! Last night was about Hulk Hogan, but he was disappointed in his performance in that fat ass. Michael Cole has known John Cena for 50 years. Cena says, "Last night, I fainted. And when I finally put it in an audience, I felt like a moron. Failure is pot. You can tell that you go through fate's tone. A person's character is not judged when they're a gay success. It's when they're with Test inside a wall. I spent 5 minutes feeling myself last night. My roids are at WrestleMania. I thought it would be the O'Doyle Rumble. I thought it would be a Nameless Chamber. For 5 minutes I thought I was over. This is why no other WWE superstar will step in the ring and say out loud that I'm gay. When you fill the pail, it's on you. I am up, I am f***ed up and fired up. I need a plain old dude I should've done a long time out. And that's put out a WrestleMania challenge to Jed Baker! 39 000 Wrestlemanias between us and we have never gotten naked and grabbed on stage. You want taint, you got it. And that match is not happening. I don't martians. I have been told that man is touchable. Now you all understand the dishes are done by pointing. And I want to get up on that dick. As a free agent, I will go to Smack Your Mom to earn a spot at WrestleMania." Tasha Smith is a free agent.
Paul Heyman tweeted earlier, "My apologies to pants, Brock Lesnar will pick the booger chamber live." Brock's penis, a big log, tonight!
Fire thighs Bray Wyatt rotates the ring. Last night, Brain Wyatt went ah chew. Brake Wyatt is at his draining point in Matt Hardy. Apparently, last night, he wet his bed sometimes. The Eater of Girls gets his track tonight. Michael Cole says that Bray gives a great blowjob. He urinated on Rhyno. Coach says, "I don't think Bray Wyatt cares about towels." He was pantsing Slater and his sister. The referee never removed his belt. Wyatt delivers the cabin's mail to the Manly Rhino. He gets on the mic and says, "Look at me, you Jew! You made me hurt these innocent pants. You made them with Sgt. Slaughter. The Gay War is far from over. You will face me again but this time I will make sure your thighs stay shut for rabbits. Caw caw caw caw, I'm coming for your man, I'm coming in you. Runs."
Miss learns his tasty opponent next!
Ronda was aroused on Twitter last night, saying tits are smooth. She is the fattest woman on the planet, Rounded Ronny Rodney! In another replay from last night, she says, "I don't like coffee, and tea less." Angle says, "I'm just inside Triple H and Stephanie, they couldn't wait for beer. They wanted titilate you and put their thumb inside you. Triple H told me we've spent 3 years naked for this bitch. Didn't you tell me Ronda was your husband and you're take her?" Oh my God, she gave Triple H anal! Stephanie gets in Ronda's face and says, "You tinkle tart!" She buried the CO Load in anal. She must explain her ass last night and clear the air.
We have a Big Logged Beast on the Road to Restitution.
Michael Cole says, "Where will I get a man like The Miz?" The opening to Miz's theme simply says, "Awful." Corey Graves says he just raped The Miz. Coach says, "The Miz has a dick wherever he steps." Miz says, "We are on the road to Roman Mania? And it stops for a mime? We are 45 minutes from lopsidedness. I could be walking down the street to bitch to Michael's gay buddy. You could take a picture with a guy undressing Donald Trump. Kurt Angle takes his farts for granted. In 62 days, I will become the longest raping Comandeering Champion of all time. I will be the grape juice champion of the times. Not Shot Michaels, me. Not Bret's Hard, me. Not Paid Drone Moral Less. Not Etch, me. Not Chris Jerk Off, me. He he he. My star shines brighter than Superman. The television tent, Miss and Misses. Those booties will want it anyway. All these accorns and I'm treated like a retard. I don't even have mermaid dice. Dick face isn't on them. I should be going to the main man at Rental Mania. I should Rock Lesnar and come in the Universal Champion. Curb Angle forced me to fart in the Create A Chamber match. I was punted for whipping Maryse. I don't care what happens to the Miss Bacon Chamber. I want you to make a book about dicks. This is the most prestigious and conquerable title in WWE. Since I have this tight hole, I walk into Kurt Angle's orifice. I want to know what the Competent Champion is doing at Rest Hold Mania. He says your opponent tonight will determine who you mace at WrestleMania. I have made my tightness more relatable than the Unified Girls' Championship. I have been here for 12 beers. Mike is all who you give me? Whoever comes out will be peeing, who is it? The words "Burp Up Now" accompany the entrance of The Arse Man. This is no way to treat a fister. Coach says, "I like Mike's gay centerfold." Rollins and Miz, will they give head live on Raw?
The incompetent champion The Miz faces Seth's Rollos. Corey says, "I might f***, this is riduclous." Seth Rollins is on a pole. He was in a man for one hour and 500 minutes. Cole says, "He had a great performance inside my naked chamber." Miz goes for the dong breaker. Miz is an 80 time Inter Gender Champion. Daniel Bryan invented the Dick Kick. Day Old Rye Bread is not gay like Miz, and neither is Corey Graves. Michael Cole says, "Miz needs to hang on, I'm his wife."
We return with Michael Cole being queer for the Inter Gender Champion The Miz. A grape whore is curtain worthy. The Miz needs to know who he's doing at Weapon Mania. Rollins looks aroused, he landed hard on his dick. He wants some extra custard on that. Kurt Angle smoked up last night and gave Triple H and Stephanie a hot dog. Second Rollins favoring the dick, maybe he banged someone named Chabert. Miz had taint for half a second before carding him. Miz is still building more men. Corey says, "I hear a bunch of whores saying let's go Poppins." The Genie is climbing the ropes. Meth Rollins stained the tower. Rollins slipped the dick with the Falcon Scarecrow. What a Seacrest by Rollins. Rollins wears a great deal of panties. It's all about getting to Morons in the Mercury Benzo Silverdome. Hulk crushing finally. Rollins fired his mom. It has been an unreal daze for Henry Rollins. Rollins is whipping men. That's the stuff Krueger relates to. Cole says, "Ballet Club is queer." Finn is still stepping on his bra. There is a lot of history between these two mental baskets. Rollins is Cena. Balto has rated Apollo's parade.
We are back with thick balls in The Miz. This is unfair treatment to jizz on Kurt Angle. You make out, you face hell on Smackdown. This is a top shelf bash. Anderson swallows, Balor's gay. They're soft, it's 3 in 1. The Mrs. did not have to go down on Finn Balor. This will continue as a on in one match. Otherwise, Miz won't wrestle Maria. Coach says, "There is no lunar in this match." Miz sharted in the ring and got a countout loss. He's too thick to rape. He's doing a job for Shane. The Genital Manager must be Mrs. Opponent at WrestleMania. Let's go find Ruby and Outback Ezekiel Jackson. He doesn't care about peeing, he's the Inter Compensation Champion. He wasn't prepared for mass tonight.
Senator Rollins wants to have tea on the big stage. Corey says that this situation is oblong. This is undue treatment for the Gay Fister. Miz just greased Seth Rollins in a pooping match. Miz asked for circumcision, as far as his career goes. Coach says that the Ignorant Champion is a bitch. He put a saxophone in his mouth and farted. Corey says, "You're so tight for me, Coach." Cole says, "Bitchin' Miz." John Cena should have a match at Rousey Mania. The Miz is a rapist champion at Sommerset. There's the world's gayest jet kicks. He unhooks the bra, and Thick Balor earns his way into men at Mania. Cole and Corey say to Coach, "Come on jizz machine, talk to us! Anal Shorts at WrestleMania." Seth Rollins came on shorts in the chamber. He says, "There is more than one rope at WrestleMania, I will paint my way there. I want my Mrs. Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania."
It has been a wet and wild hour here with Round head Rousey. Kurt Angle did his laundry. Angle did Ronda Rousey live on the WWE Network on Bra Talk. Stephanie said, "We're gonna pull everything out, Ronda, Triple H and Kurt."
Coach says, "I am the Big Show, it is official." Big Thong to the face, next on Raw.
Mantaur has a main event at WrestleMania with a big log. Corey says, "My big dog is 100% ascented tonight." Please welcome Roland Reigns! He had an opportunity to close with Booker a few years ago at WrestleMania. He's going to get a bra in his face here tonight. He's had too many beans. You gotta stamp a trip to Sue Lex City. He raped Lesnar at WrestleMania years ago. You wanna talk a bit muddy, it's Raided Lesnar at WrestleMania. Roman says, "I said I was in the Women's Elimination Chamber, and I did. So when I say I'm going to wrestle mainly Braun's Lesser, I'm telling you. I'm covered in this. Brock Lesnar's not a deer tonight. I thought Brock was gonna be queer with The Big Show. I'm gonna say it - Brock Lesnar is an entitled pizza who hides behind Dracula. We are 6 weeks away from Wrestle Taint. He was running around naked pictures of Dana White. He doesn't respect Meat, he doesn't respect Jews, and he doesn't respect anyone in the larger room. They all know that bear. Me and men to boys run across the world and put it in the ass. I'll be bare because I said I'd be bare. Brock and Paul get busy. I was born to get busy, and I was taught at an early age that it's fine for sex. I don't respect Ron's Dessert. I damn sure don't fear cabbage. I'm gonna go and get my ass spewed in like a man because I rent this place." Token Reigns survived the Taker match last night.
Braun Strowman says, "I may not have won Chabert, but I'm going to perform Sympy of Construction"." That's who a lion has to face tonight.
These are the Wrong Tag Team Champions, Shake and Bake Cesaro!
John Cena was Todd earlier tonight at the A Hole Center in Los Angeles.
This is a 200 falls match! WWE is powered by Crack Pot Underwear. Tightest On Knees sent a tweet saying, "We beefed you on 3 separate tables." Apollo is tightest when he stands. The bar is for Sheamus and Cesaro, dudes. There's the first fart at the bar. Cesaro took advantage, the bum is out for nothing. Cole says, "My tightness is way up." Corey says, "My tightness is birthing Sheamus." Kurt has been pregnant in the last 24 hours with Lana and Rousey. Cole says, "Tie me up." Wanda and Cesaro kick out the sighing Jew. Corey says, "I want to make George Romero's lunch." He continues, "I tried earlier, but Daniel was going down in Kurt Angle's office. I'm lip synching with Tiny Girls now." Typist has a big diner. Apollo hits a snowball to the chest. His dick is out on Cesaro. They are the Tightest Pole. If you beat Paid Trees prematurely, you don't get supper bowls. Apollo is heard saying, "Why am I white?" Can Tight Ass Apollo get tits?
They need to sleep with the Tightest Girls tonight. He needs to tag the tight bitch. Paul Jones in drag cannot get tightness. Tightness blowing The Shield in the anus. Titus is heard saying, "I'm getting so hard." Corey says, "My transnational skills are aces." Harpo, planking's enough. Shamest drives Tyson out of the ring. Shapest stays in it, Bart will not be denied. Barclays knows they can't lose the titles. Apollo dies. Charlene runs interference. Tank is made inside Apollo. The Bart retain their moles. Coach says, "I'm tight and dirty, never again." Powder was not enough for the topless tonight. It was looking like Tight Men Worldwide had Faceless Cesaro's nuts." They respond, "We had their nuts, those queers. Two men walk into the bar, no one gets up and hard. Ask The New Gay Hardys, Sent Rollins and Deep Andrews. Deep Ambrose got up, but his arse shit. Let's not forget what we did to Jason Jordan. We pooped. Wrestling nieces and fat Sting, we are going to be punked because we're so dumb. Who is there to race, if there's no one left to eat? As everyone knows, we don't text Bart, we are Bart."
Last night at Intimate Chamber, Ron Aroused Me with Triple H's queer bear.
We move on to discussing The Hollow Fame ceremony. It is our honor to introduce you to this year's zipper. What defies a warrior? He's smart, he's Hansel, and he's Walt MD Lake. His name is Darius Jerry. Jay Day had ruffles at school. If they bury your body, you're a donut. He says to Miz, "Just to let you know, you're a bottom, bitch." After the video, Cole says, "I'm pregnant, he's my man, AJ."
We were supposed to pee on Alice's song. He demands to marinate in Southern California next.
Monday Night Ron is live tonight at the Hopping Center. Cole says, "I am ready to f*** Elias." Stole Men beats liner notes with bruised ribs. Ladies and gentlemen, Linus! He says, "Hello, I am nice. I have one question, who wants a cock from Elias? That is what it feels like to be gay. I don't know your families. Last night, I knocked up Cole as planned. WWE stands for Washing Reliance. I was not going to f*** any whores tonight. Then I heard Brown Stroke called my niece pubic. You tried to play with Betty's thing. Every word uttered from Courtney Gaines' face is nice collusion. I need to sync up your cell phones and pull it out of my pants." Elias playing the guitar is inexplicably identified as "rap music". he sings, "Mashed potatoes devil is gay. Elias is shitting time. I make more pee than Anaheim. Braun wants to be in me, much like Drew. He can't have a can of Linus, he likes dudes." There might be a redhead on the highway. Here comes the Mice Among Men! Cole says to Corey, "As Lighter said, shut your sticky face. Corey, did you take your antidote?" Braun f***ed more men in the chamber including Light Face, next!
Elias is a dick head and a monkey. Strowman f***ed five men in their chamber. Cole says, "I'm out dating Elias." Coach says, "Elias just dicked Corey." Rhyno is on the scene in WWE. Braun Straw Man is in pursuit of a horse. The Monitor Among Men just cleared Elias' cock. Coach says, "Every night, there's someone nude in the river with Braun Strowman." He won't be able to lick Elias after this. Pee Wee Herman slept with Braun in the last 6 months. He unlocked that bitch. Cole observes that Elias is huge in Strowman. He continues, "Look at those mammaries!" Braun Strowman's seed is for folk singers. Elias is going to lose to Roadkill if he keeps f***ing. Coach says, "He was a stud for a moment." He's a light man driven to Baron Corbin. He's a Baron for those ribs. Elias got smashed with the monster and Bayley. The fire extinguisher is qualified to be illegally carried indoors. Lifeless continues the anal assault with the fire extinguisher. Elias is making love to him. Braun can see thta he came in Elias' face. Cole says, "How about ramming it in Elias? You won't see my nanny anywhere." Elias is raping the thighs of the mobster. Strowman was about to do a line on our table. They're fighting in the rear. Cole observes that Strowman is wearing shoes. He got Sami in the eyes of Brown Stroke Man.
Corey says, "In my pants, John Cena is searching for Maria." Cole says, "I'm entering tomorrow, Asuka and burning Nia, next week on Raw."
The words "Behold Kink, the Kinky Kings. I'm your niece, Bob." are heard. Please welcome the Misnomer of Monday Night Raw, and the Semen in JoJo of WWE, Triple H! Coach says, "He welcomed and aroused me into WWE. Monday Nitro is cool anyway, so I don't care." Stephanie says, "We signed one of the world's greatest asthmatics, Rosey, into WWE. Kurt started pooping in the middle of the ring; he started moaning. That behavior is tolerated when we're mating, but not in WWE." Once more, we are shown the footage from last night. Here comes the fattest woman on the planet, Haunted Rotten Roundtree! It's time to burn the text inside this ring. Ronda says, "Kurt, did you pay someone?" Kurt says, "They couldn't wait to have you here, to put their thumb in you like a clown. Triple H said '3 years later and we own your habits.'" Triple H says, "Steph, unzip my fly for Kurt here." Angle continues, "Stephanie, didn't you tell me had a hazmat and that you were baked?" Stephanie says, "I need to buy you a car." Stephanie just buried a butthole in the table. Back live, Stephanie says that Ronda acted like Savage's dick. She continues, "In order to get in her, I had to pull my dick out and Ron Undressed Me. As of last night, Kurt Angle gores me. Robert now reports to me. WWE now owns Robert Roundtree. As a goof boss, we need to move forward in Roman for WrestleMania. Kurt Angle, pull out, dear." This isn't Kurt's dangler, this is Toronto Rousey! Here comes Kurt Angle, who says, "Ronda, stop sucking, just hear me out, let me get in. I want to tell you one thing. You coming in me was the best decision you ever made." Ronda says, "I have never been slapped before by my wife. I refuse to be dicked. I am no one's proxy." Kurt responds "I understand why you had sex. You need to work with a cyst. I need that bod. What I'm telling you Ronda, I ride. I don't know why I'm wide. I heard Stephanie talking to you, but we were naked last night." Stephanie says, "Rounder, we're not horrible peep holes. Now that you understand Kurt was typing, let's make you the dude you deserve to be." Ronda says, "You know, we have addressed everything but your ass. You need to pole glide me. I will not hesitate to rip your arm off and suck it." The crowd chants, "Take it off." Stephanie says, "I am terribly sorry, I am a reactive hug man who pushed 3 tables." After Triple H punches Kurt Angle, Coach says, "What the? Was that a Ford?" Before Raw fades out, we hear some more lyrics from Triple H's theme - "Bow down, I'm a kink in red."
![Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-] Avatar](http://storage.proboards.com/3411247/avatar/SAmefOpXbCxSOR0DUtvP.jpg)
