Cena has auditioned to be the new host of Blue’s Clues

[Deleted]

[Fade]

I would f***ing watch Blues Clues it John Cena was the new host, cmon now.

[Mozenrath]

Who can forget when Big Show skidoo'd Cena into that spotlight off of the entrance ramp?

[Mister Pigwell]

Yup this is one of those "I never knew I wanted this" things.

[Perd]

If he doesn’t get it, he’ll just try host some other show. But if he had his way, he’d be hosting GUTS. Unfortunately that’s not possible.

[Deleted]

[The Legend of Groose]

Fine speech mailbox, real fine speech.

[Feargus McReddit]

Mar 8, 2018 2:14:40 GMT -5 @kn said:

I was wondering “So how would it work with his build to put on the shirt without every muscle poking through?”

Somehow didn’t think of “Just give him a bigger size shirt” for some reason.

Regardless, I’d be down. Dude seems to be making his way in the undergrowth of entertainment rather than hurling himself into anything major (No, Blockers doesn’t count) and I don’t hate the guy’s wrestling but considering they can’t seem to find a place for him at this point, you might as well try and do stuff outside the business to get more cred for yourself.

[Derk!]

No joke. I would seriously watch this.

[The Heartbreak TWERK]

John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your Nick Jr. Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Face’s ass.

You’re as good as kissing Face’s ass as Ferocious Beast was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Little Bear though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall!

I am the best spice in the world.

I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the Nick Jr. Championship.

I’ve grabbed so many of Face’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they're just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on Nick at Nite. I’m not on the poster of Nick Jr. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brian. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Little Bear is in the main event at Nick Jr. next year and I’m not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.

I’m leaving with the Nick Jr. Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ring of Honor.

Yo, Gabba Gabba, how you doing?

The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Face is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douchebag yes men, like Joe, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Face is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

Let me tell you a personal story about Face alright. We do this whole [anti] bully campaign...

[EoE: Well There's Your Problem]

Mar 8, 2018 3:03:06 GMT -5 The Heartbreak TWERK said:

John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your Nick Jr. Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Face’s ass.

You’re as good as kissing Face’s ass as Ferocious Beast was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Little Bear though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall!

I am the best spice in the world.

I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the Nick Jr. Championship.

I’ve grabbed so many of Face’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they're just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of Nick Jr. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brian. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Little Bear is in the main event at Nick Jr. next year and I’m not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.

I’m leaving with the Nick Jr. Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ring of Honor.

Yo, Gabba Gabba, how you doing?

The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Face is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douchebag yes men, like Joe, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Face is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

Let me tell you a personal story about Face alright. We do this whole [anti] bully campaign...

I guess that's why he's called Mr. Salt...

[Alice Syndrome]

Mar 8, 2018 2:14:40 GMT -5 @kn said:

well, that ages him like 20 years

[Cranjis McBasketball]

He's not gonna die of a heroin overdose like the last guy fake did like 3 months, he is?

[Deleted]

You know, there've been some rumors Cena's on the way out after Mania, kind of wonder if this is why.

I HOPE it's why. That's one of those things that would just be too insane to not have happen now that the possibility has come up.

[Perfect Timing]

Shame. I thought this was about Cena hosting a Blue Cheese convention.

[msc]

They still make Blue's Clues? I remember my sister loving that about 20 years ago.

[zero744]

“Blue skadoo you can too!” “You can’t see me, now you do!”

[WoodStoner1]

#LOLCenafiguresouttheclues

[BayleyTiffyCodyCenaJudyHopps]

Mar 8, 2018 3:03:06 GMT -5 The Heartbreak TWERK said:

John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your Nick Jr. Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Face’s ass.

You’re as good as kissing Face’s ass as Ferocious Beast was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Little Bear though. He’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall!

I am the best spice in the world.

I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the Nick Jr. Championship.

I’ve grabbed so many of Face’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they're just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on Nick at Nite. I’m not on the poster of Nick Jr. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brian. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Little Bear is in the main event at Nick Jr. next year and I’m not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.

I’m leaving with the Nick Jr. Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ring of Honor.

Yo, Gabba Gabba, how you doing?

The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Face is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douchebag yes men, like Joe, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Face is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

Let me tell you a personal story about Face alright. We do this whole [anti] bully campaign...

Remember that time Pepper knocked Salt out in that UFC match? That was great.

[hargh]

"You can't see the clues? Well, never give up!"