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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 2:56:00 GMT -5
Willie: You can't drink worth shit. Marcus: I weigh 92 pounds, you dick!
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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 2:56:23 GMT -5
Kid: Your beard's not real. Willie: No Shit!It was real, but I got sick and all the hair fell out. Kid: How come? Willie: I loved a woman who wasn't clean. Kid: Mrs. Santa? Willie: No it was her sister.
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Post by mcclanahan on Dec 23, 2006 2:56:37 GMT -5
Heh, things always seem to slow down when Jake and Raven leave for some reason. yeah, maybe I should quit smoking so I won't need to step out for one so I don't have to listen to my little sisters constant bitching
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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 2:56:57 GMT -5
Kid: Candy corn? Willie: Well they all can't be winners!
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The Raven
Hank Scorpio
Where The Raven flies, there's Jeopardy!: Sports Edition
Posts: 5,907
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Post by The Raven on Dec 23, 2006 2:57:07 GMT -5
JESUS CHRIST KID ARE YOU RETARDED OR SOMETHING?
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The Raven
Hank Scorpio
Where The Raven flies, there's Jeopardy!: Sports Edition
Posts: 5,907
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Post by The Raven on Dec 23, 2006 2:57:26 GMT -5
Kid: Candy corn? Willie: Well they all can't be winners! I CAG'd so hard.
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Post by mcclanahan on Dec 23, 2006 2:57:32 GMT -5
It's all or nothing And nothing's all I ever get Ev'ry time I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out
It's always something There's always something going wrong That's the only guarantee, that's what this is all about
It's a never ending attack Ev'rything's a lie and that's a fact Life is a lemon and I want my money back
And all the morons And all the stooges with their coins They're the ones who make the rules, it's not a game it's just a rout
There's desperation There's desperation in the air It leaves a stain on all your clothes and no detergent gets it out
And we're always slipping through the cracks Then the movie's over, fade to black Life is a lemon and I want my money back
I want my money back I want my money back
What about love? It's defective! It's always breaking in half
What about sex? It's defective! It's never built to really last
What about your family? It's defective! All the batteries are shot
What about your friends? It's defective! All the parts are out of stock
What about hope? It's defective! It's corroded and decayed
What about faith? It's defective! It's tattered and it's frayed
What about you gods? They're defective! They forgot the warranty
What about your town? It's defective! It's a dead-end street to me
What about your school? It's defective! It's a pack of useless lies
What about your work? It's defective! It's a crock and then you die
What about your childhood? It's defective! It's dead and buried in the past
What about your future? It's defective! And you can shove it up your ass
Oh, I want my money back I want my money back
It's all or nothing And nothing's all I ever get Ev'ry time I turn it on, I burn it up and burn it out
It's a never ending attack Ev'rything's a lie and that's a fact Life is a lemon and I want my money back
And we're always slipping through the cracks Then the movie's over, fade to black Life is a lemon and I want my money back
I want my money back I want my money back
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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 2:58:13 GMT -5
Willie: Whatcha my mom now? You shat me out of your womb? Marcus: You said that yesterday, you stupid f***.
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The Raven
Hank Scorpio
Where The Raven flies, there's Jeopardy!: Sports Edition
Posts: 5,907
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Post by The Raven on Dec 23, 2006 2:59:22 GMT -5
Are you accusing me of f***ing a fat chick?
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Post by mcclanahan on Dec 23, 2006 2:59:58 GMT -5
why do the Herculoids suck so much
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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 3:00:23 GMT -5
My all time favorite:
Willie: Why don't you wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first.
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Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Dec 23, 2006 3:00:49 GMT -5
why do the Herculoids suck so much They just do. It's one of life's certainties.
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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 3:00:59 GMT -5
Willie: You know, I think I've turned a corner. Marcus: Yeah? You f***ing petites now? Willie: No, I'm not talking about that. I beat the shit out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself. It was like I did something constructive with my life or something, I dunno, like I accomplished something. Marcus: You need many years of therapy. Many, many, many f***in' years of therapy.
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The Raven
Hank Scorpio
Where The Raven flies, there's Jeopardy!: Sports Edition
Posts: 5,907
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Post by The Raven on Dec 23, 2006 3:01:18 GMT -5
Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody
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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 3:02:00 GMT -5
Willie: Things are f***ed up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me f***ing her sister, now I'm out on my ass.
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Post by mcclanahan on Dec 23, 2006 3:03:17 GMT -5
why do the Herculoids suck so much They just do. It's one of life's certainties. when I first saw them I thought they might be interesting, but they suck, kinda like TV guy wanted to do last night ;D...or didn't know he would end up doing when he was hitting on me
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The Raven
Hank Scorpio
Where The Raven flies, there's Jeopardy!: Sports Edition
Posts: 5,907
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Post by The Raven on Dec 23, 2006 3:03:25 GMT -5
I love it when that indian guy stares at him at the bar and follows him to the car:
Guy: I am not gay!
Willie: What the hell, buddy.
Guy: Buddy? I said I am not gay!
Willie: Are you off your f***ing meds or something?
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Post by mcclanahan on Dec 23, 2006 3:03:43 GMT -5
You can't run away for ever But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start You want to shut out the night, you wnat to shut down the sun You want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart
Think of how we'd lay down together We'd be list'ning to the radio so loud and so strong Ev'ry golden nugget coming like a gift of the gods Someone must have blessed us when he gave us those songs
I treasure your love I never want to lose it You've been through the fires of hell, and I know you've got the ashes to prove it
I treasure your love I want to show you how to use it You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt, and I know you've got the scars to prove it
Remember everything that I told you, and I'm telling you again that it's true You're never alone, 'cause you can put on the 'phones, and let the drummer tell your heart what to do
Keep on believing, and you'll discover baby
There's always something magic There's always something new And when you really really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through The beat is yours for ever The beat is always true And when you really really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through, for you
[Instrumental bridge]
Once upon a time was a backbeat Once upon a time all the chords came to life And the angels had guitars even before they had wings If you hold onto a chorus you can get through the night
I treasure your love I never want to lose it You've been through the fires of hell, and I know you've got the ashes to prove it
I treasure your love I want to show you how to use it You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt, and I know you've got the scars to prove it
Remember everything that I told you, and I'm telling you again that it's true You're never alone, 'cause you can put on the 'phones, and let the drummer tell your heart what to do
Keep on believing, and you'll discover baby
There's always something magic There's always something new And when you really really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through The beat is yours for ever The beat is always true And when you really really need it the most, that's when rock and roll dreams come through, For you!
(The beat is yours for ever. That's when rock and roll dreams come through) [Repeat to fade]
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Post by shemmy86 on Dec 23, 2006 3:03:51 GMT -5
Marcus: You f*** her? Willie: Jesus Christ! Is everything f***in' sex with you? Marcus: With me? I f*** one person! I ain't out there serial fornicatin', tryin' to float my liver, drinkin' myself silly, cuz I can't stand what a piece of shit I am. Willie: What are you, Sigmund Sawed-Off f***in' Freud?
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The Raven
Hank Scorpio
Where The Raven flies, there's Jeopardy!: Sports Edition
Posts: 5,907
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Post by The Raven on Dec 23, 2006 3:03:52 GMT -5
They just do. It's one of life's certainties. when I first saw them I thought they might be interesting, but they suck, kinda like TV guy wanted to do last night ;D...or didn't know he would end up doing when he was hitting on me That was so funny yet creepy at the same time.
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